Aaron & Jackson: Desire
by Dayne Dinning
Summary: A confident, out Aaron embarks on life content with himself. He meets Jackson Walsh...
1. As Long As You Love Me

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"As Long As You Love Me"

This fanfic begins on one cold March morning 2010 with a slightly different Aaron. Hope you guys enjoy, let me know what you think! X

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Aaron opened his eyes slowly and groaned at the noises coming from the kitchen, however the smell of bacon roused him and he sat up. He squinted; the harsh day light stealing its way into the room blinded him. He rubbed his eyes quickly, and he stretched followed by a long drawn out yawn. He sighed. He smiled remembering the previous night. When the words he'd been keeping to himself had finally found their way out – to Paddy at least. "I'm gay" he mumbled then smiled. He was happy with who he was, in the beginning of his realisation he buried himself away, the thoughts tightly tucked away but eventually he realised he couldn't fight it. He looked at a woman – nothing. A man - well...there was certainly more than nothing stirring in his mind and physically on his body as it reacted.

"Aaron!" Came Paddy's yell from the kitchen.

Aaron sighed and climbed out of bed and threw on his trackies and a t-shirt that he'd discarded on the floor the night before. His bare feet thudded down the stairs and he walked into the kitchen.

Paddy turned. "What?" Aaron asked.

Paddy frowned. "I hope you're not going out like that"

Aaron looked down at himself, his t-shirt inside out, bare feet and unknown to Paddy – no boxers. He scoffed. "Course I'm not, you shouted so loud I nearly shit myself just threw them on...so what is it?" he asked leaning his head forward curiously, waiting for his reply.

Paddy simply shook his head and picked up a place with two bacon sandwiches and held it out. "Or would you like me to wait while you get yourself all glammed up?" he couldn't help but smirk.

Aaron tutted while wearing a scowl. "As if! I'm not like that, I'm just me and..." he stopped as he took the plate and sat down taking a bite. "And nothing's changed, I just like men" he concluded with his mouth full.

"I'm really happy for ya mate but don't eat with your mouth full, have I taught you nothing?" he chuckled.

Aaron just looked up at him; he pouted and shook his head. "No not really" he said lazily but then a hint of a smile at the corners of his lips told Paddy he was joking.

Paddy joined him at the table. "So...is there anyone you've got your eye on?"

Aaron sat back relaxing into the chair. "David...now he..." he then laughed at the shocked reaction on Paddy's face. "No, kidding...Erm...nah not really the guys in bar west are nice to look at and all that but..." he shook his head. "No one special"

"There will be" Paddy nodded confidently.

Aaron smiled slightly and sat up properly and continued to eat, silence filling the room. A few minutes passed and Aaron chuckled to himself. "I can't believe you thought I was doing drugs"

"Er...w-well" Paddy stuttered. "The signs and all that...and I got ahead of myself I admit but it was out of love Aaron"

Aaron nodded. "I know"

"But..." Paddy sighed. "I really did think you were going to hit me at one point, I know I was pushing and pushing but I had too, something was bothering you"

"If you'd have pushed me a while back, I-I think" he frowned, the realisation of what he was about to say hurt. "I might have" he swallowed hard. "But somehow on my own I got my head together, despite me being an emotional wreck last night I' am fine with it, I just got upset because I thought you wouldn't be fine with me the way I' am"

"Nothing would ever make me think any less of you Aaron, you like men" he pulled a bemused expression. "So?" he chuckled. "You are who you are and like I said last night, if you're gay, then you're gay" he smiled.

Aaron smiled. "What would I do without you eh?"

"I don't wanna even think about that"

Aaron nodded as he looked down at the table. "In a cell or dead" he looked back at him seconds later. "It's true though" he added.

"Good job for me then eh?" he sighed and stood up and took away their now cleared plates.

Aaron smiled and watched him. "I'm going to get sorted then I'll be out, most of the day probably, got some people to see haven't I?" he smiled. "Then I'm going to town so, don't wait up"

"No problem" Paddy acknowledged. "Just be careful"

"I will" he nodded and turned and walked back to the stairs and up to the bathroom.

...

Aaron walked past Dale head, still getting renovated. The guy working was hot. But as was always the trouble, was he gay? Aaron couldn't tell. He looked carefully as he passed; he couldn't see him but heard the radio blaring. He turned the corner to the garage. Cain was working on a car. He looked up and saw his nephew and started chuckling. "It's your day off you sad git!" he called over to him.

"Uhhh yeah I know" he said sarcastically. "Got a minute, got something to say, actually"

"Bloody hell, did I hear right? You're voluntarily going to speak" Cain pretended to look shocked.

Aaron tutted. "Yeah...well...you remember those gay rumours?"

"Yep and you just stormed off when I asked you about them" Cain answered as he wiped his hands on a towel to rid himself briefly of oil.

"Well a month, two however long it's been I'm here now to answer your question" he took a breath, he was shaking slightly – it was Cain after all.

"Go on then" Cain told him. He already had an idea he just wanted to hear it from him.

"I' am yeah" he nodded. "I'm gay" he admitted calmly and looked down at the gravel. Almost immediately he felt Cain's hand on his shoulder gripping slightly.

"Proud of you mate...those rumours did get me thinking and the way you didn't answer me..." he shrugged. "I'm just happy for you but..."

"Yeah" Aaron let out a laugh. "I know...don't wanna hear or see it...fine by me, I'm not into PDA"

Cain scowled. "And what's that when it's at home?"

"Public displays of affection, god you really need to move into the twenty first century – old man" Aaron quipped and jumped back away from him.

Cain flung the towel at him but missed. "Go on you! Get out of here before I make you work"

"Ha ha very funny you eh?"

"Someone's a lot more cheeky and confident" Cain noted.

"Yeah well" he dropped his arms by his side. "Why shouldn't I?" he smiled and turned away.

...

Aaron arrived at the factory about half an hour after a slow walk. Once he reached the door and had his hand held out to the handle he pulled back and pinched his lower lip. Thoughts now stopped him from his intended plan. _Should I? It could wait. Tell her at a better time _he sighed. No, he had to tell her now. As he reached for the door again, it opened and he jumped back, seeing Laurel, Lisa and Lizzy on their way out. "Oh hiya love what you doing here?" Lisa asked then turned to Lizzy on her arm. "It's Aaron" she told her.

"Oh hiya love, yeah what you doing here? Sick of the garage? Fancy a crack at this?"

Aaron smiled nervously. "E-Erm no actually I just came to see my mam"

"She won't be long Aaron, its lunchtime now anyway; she'll just be getting her bag"

Aaron nodded with a smile."Thanks" he said and they walked off leaving them too it. He smiled briefly at Laurel as she followed them.

He walked away several metres from the door and paced, impatiently. Chas walked out of the factory as she spoke on the phone, she giggled and looked up seeing Aaron. She frowned. "I'll ring you back in a bit Carl...no Aaron's here...well I don't know do I...bye" she sighed as she disconnected the call and walked quickly over to her son. "Aaron?"

Aaron stopped pacing and looked at her, he flashed a nervous smile. "Hi"

"W-What's wrong? You okay?" she asked.

"Oh yeah, yeah I'm fine...but I need to talk to you" Aaron told her.

"Aww really?" Chas was shocked but grateful to him that he needed her.

Aaron nodded and they started walking away side by side. "You know I've not been happy lately"

Chas chuckled as she looked at the vast countryside and breathed in the air, the wind blowing her hair slightly. "Yeah...but you've always been like that son, if I'm honest"

Aaron nodded. "I know that...but lately it's been because..." he stopped.

"Go on" she rubbed his arm softly as they walked.

Aaron took a breath. "I'm gay mam"

Chas stopped in her tracks, as did Aaron a metre or so in front of her, he turned and saw the tears in her eyes and the warm smile on her face, she approached him and hugged him tightly. "And you? You're ok with it?"

They parted and Aaron nodded with a smile.

"And so am I" she told him happily as she wiped her eyes clear of the tears that were ready to fall. "Who else knows?" she asked.

"Don't take this funny or anything, cause technically you aren't the last to know but Paddy and Cain know, I've got to tell Adam...he's gunna love that after I nearly kis-" he stopped, his eyes widened.

Chas frowned in amusement. "Oh aye...what's that?"

Aaron shook his head. "Nothing, erm but yeah they know, I'll tell Adam when I see him and if you want you can tell people, I'm fine with it honestly"

"Good, I'm proud of you kid"

Aaron smiled and felt Chas stand closer and she placed her arm around him as they started to walk again. Aaron let out a breath and relaxed into her support, grateful for it, of her for once in his life.

...

When they arrived in the village, mother and son stopped outside the pub before walking in. She smiled at him.

He chuckled. "What?"

"I just love you son, I know I've not been the best mam but I wanna try I do"

Aaron nodded.

"Good" she smiled. "So what you doing tonight?" she asked.

"Well it was between x-box with Paddy or gaying it up in bar west" he grinned.

"Bar West then?" she asked, with a smirk.

"Oh yes" he grinned happily as they walked into the pub.

"That's great but be safe and all that love"

Aaron sighed. "I'm not stupid mam!" he gave a soft glare.

"I know you're not, just telling you that's all" Chas told him as she stopped at the bar. "Pint?" she asked.

Aaron nodded. "Cheers"

"And you Chas?" Diane asked.

"Oh just a half for me, on me dinner" she explained as she pulled a note from her purse.

Aaron smiled to himself and looked around the pub. He was content and happy, his life ahead of him, he wanted it to begin and it would, he was sure of that. His eyes locked on the builder hunched over the table doing paperwork, Jackson Walsh his name was. He smirked, he was fit. But he probably wouldn't be interested in someone like him. Despite his new found ease and confidence he still had his insecurities. Maybe one day he's buck up the courage to speak to him. Maybe...

TBC...


	2. The Encounter

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"The Encounter"

This fanfic continues **several hours after **_As Long As You Love Me_

_Characters belong to ITV _

_All Chapters rated M on the chance sexual content is included, which may be a lot in these stories :) _

_..._

Aaron stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom checking over what he'd chosen to wear, jeans, shoes and a black jumper that hugged him in all the right places. He smiled giving himself approval. He smirked. "Right then boys...show this lad how it's done" he turned and grabbed his keys, wallet and phone from his bed.

Paddy heard the very familiar thundering sound of his footsteps coming down the stairs. He turned and leaned against the kitchen bench waiting for him to appear and he did seconds later.

"Alright?" Aaron asked with a smile.

Paddy nodded. "Yeah fine you?"

Aaron nodded. "Sound yeah, off out now, and don't wait up"

"I don't intend to mate" Paddy chuckled. "Just wanted to say be careful and have fun"

"I will" he smiled. "See you later"

As he walked up to the bus stop, he looked down the village seeing that the blue van of his favourite builder had gone. He sighed. "Maybe tomorrow" he told himself and then he saw his mam running up the village after him from the pub. He rolled his eyes. "Yes mam?"

Chas stopped in front of him. "Ah I'm pleased I caught you before you left...I uh...don't be embarrassed" she rummaged in her bag. "But I got you these" she pulled out a three pack of condoms.

Aaron's eyes widened.

"Oh don't look like that, it's normal, its safe!" she urged. "Nothing to be embarrassed about..."

"Yeah but erm..." he began as he reached into his pocket and pulled one out. "Got it covered and if there's any action _it_ will be" he laughed.

"Oh ugh...Okay anyway now you've got more in case you lose that..."

Aaron smirked and nodded. "Cheers see you tomorrow probably"

Chas nodded. "Have a good night"

"I will!" he called back to her as he rolled his eyes. _Oh-My-God _he thought, embarrassed but his heart warmed by her concern.

...

Bar west was quiet for the middle of the week; he didn't mind, he was away from the village enjoying a nice pint. There were a few tables occupied near him and he just sat and watched everything around him. He felt comfortable despite looking probably, in his own words like a sad act sitting alone. He didn't care though.

He rested into the leather back of the bench he was sat on, holding the pint in two hands as he sat thinking. He had wanted to know what this world was like, for so long he'd thought it was different to the norm. But he realised in that second it wasn't, they were just people. People; who for a while he had hated. They were just like his mum, Adam & Paddy. They were just normal people like those back in the village; he knew that now.

From opposite the room he heard bickering between two men. He looked only several metres away and frowned at them.

"No Tom forget it, we are done. I'm sick of us and I'm sick of you!"

"You don't mean that, look Jackson I'm sorry let's just enjoy the night, I know you wouldn't do that!"

"No I wouldn't but it doesn't matter now! You know what!" Jackson pointed angrily. "I do everything I can for us, I work all the hours I can, and I'm tired Tom, I'm fucking knackered! I'm trying to keep my business going and you for one want to plan a shopping trip in London, I can't afford it at the moment, you go with Simon...yeah him"

Tom sighed and shook his head. "He's just a mate"

"Oh really? Not what it looked like the other week when I walked in on the two of you looking very close"

Tom sighed. "Jackson stop this alright, come on let's go home, I didn't mean to complain about your work or the guy I saw you talking too, I-I'm just insecure"

Jackson scoffed. "Yeah, and do you realise how pathetic you sound!" Jackson spat and looked around catching the eye of the young guy across the room that looked familiar and who was watching him intently, he frowned trying to place him.

"Jackson!" Tom yelled. "We're engaged for god sake! Y-You can't let it be like this, I said I'm sorry"

Jackson turned back to him. "Live in the fucking real world for once, I give you everything I can, but yet you want more, you never shut up about holidays" he sighed. "You question me every time my phone goes off, you don't trust me and you remember the argument we had when I got the job in Emmerdale...too far you said, you'd be home too late you said, tough!"

Tom sighed again, close to tears. "I'm sorry I'll change Jackson, I love you for god sake I do, and I do trust you...its other people I don't trust!"

"Not my problem, now...I'm going to the bar and I'm going to get drunk, me and you are done Tom, can't do it anymore..." he chuckled. "I spoke to the guy, I wouldn't like to imagine what you'd be like if I actually fucked him" he scoffed and stormed off to the bar.

"Well well...disappointing...builder boy is engaged" Aaron mumbled to himself as he watched the pair separate. He sighed. He fancied him something rotten, even watching him being angry turned him on.

...

Jackson was several metres away out of sight of the mysterious lad who looked vaguely familiar to him, he carried a tray with two pints and several shot glasses, each filled to the brim. He took a breath and headed over. He placed the tray down and sat down next to him.

Aaron sat up, surprised, shocked at the lad for joining him without invitation but when he looked closely it was him. A smile broadened across his lips. "Hi..." he frowned wondering what was going on.

"Hi" Jackson's smile beamed back at him. "I erm...I saw you looking before...and seems I just dumped my fiancé...feel a bit shit so I needed the company and to be honest mate you're the hottest guy in here tonight" Jackson explained.

"And what about your fiancé, when he was here of course?" Aaron asked his voice soft.

Jackson shrugged and looked away.

Aaron had his answer. "Right then...well I'll take one of those" he reached to the tray and downed a shot in seconds. The liquid burnt his throat, he gasped and smiled. "Aaron Livesy...and you...you're Jackson Walsh..."

Jackson's eyes narrowed, questioning.

"Emmerdale" Aaron smirked.

"Ahh course! Thought I'd seen you around"

"Gawping more like if you had, you're fit mate, Tom doesn't know how lucky he is" Aaron commented. "I'd have you in a shot"

"Oh really?" Aaron nodded. "Well he was lucky...tonight...tonight I dunno but I plan on getting smashed, how's that sound to you? Wanna join me?" Jackson asked.

Aaron pouted. "Keep supplying the booze and I will" he grinned.

"Not a problem, sure I can manage that" Jackson replied with a smile, a sparkle in his eye, the sight of Aaron reviving him, bringing him to life, making him feel every nerve within him pulsate and come to life once again, no more boring routine. He needed fun and Aaron seemed to want it too, and they'd have fun, he'd make sure of it.

...

A few hours later they sat cosily side by side, both of them resting against each other, one just as drunk as the other. Aaron frowned and waved his hand around hushing him. "No, hang on hang on...y-y-you're engaged but you don't live together?" he questioned.

"Nope, how pathetic is that? Half the week I'm at his, the rest he's at mine...oh I don't care, sod him!" he spat. "I'm well rid mate I'm telling ya!"

"So you don't want marriage then?" he surmised.

"No, I do...just not right now I guess, and anyway he's too pretty too...too... " he sighed unable to find the word.

"Too much of a good boy who seems possessive" Aaron finished.

Jackson laughed and slapped his arm playfully. "Yeah! Exactly. My life is just the same old boring shit; I want to feel good again. Oh I'm sorry I'm rambling..." he trailed off.

"No...No...Don't worry I don't mind seriously" Aaron told him honestly.

"Is that because you fancy me or because you genuinely don't mind?" Jackson asked, his eyes watching him intently, watching him bite his lip as he quickly thought, and then the smirk that played on his amazing lips.

"A bit of both...I'm new to this but...I've wanted to talk to you for ages...but I didn't know if you were gay I had no idea till tonight and you have no idea how delighted I' am" Aaron smirked then turned his head ever so slightly to see him looking at him, he moved back slightly as if they bounced off each other in that moment, but as quick as he moved back he moved ahead again. "You're so hot...I'd love to fuck you right now..." Aaron said, blatantly ignoring the fact that the argument he witnessed could be resolved and they'd get back together. But in that moment, he didn't care. In a split second Jackson closed the gap between him and Aaron felt his soft lips against his, his first encounter with another man, it took his breath away, he could feel Jackson's tongue begging for entry, he opened his mouth slightly and felt his tongue enter his mouth, battling his own tongue for dominance.

Aaron groaned as they kissed, his entire body tingled and his growing member ached for the attention from the man before him. They pulled away, Aaron caught his breath and his eyes scanned Jackson quickly. "I want you" he whispered.

"Down that" Jackson instructed as he picked up his own pint glass and downed his drink. Aaron did the same. Jackson took his hand firmly and pulled him up into his arms. "You want this?"

Aaron nodded, unsure of what he was doing but at the same time very sure. "Yeah I do"

Jackson nodded with a smile, and then led him out of the bar.

...

After a short taxi journey the two very drunken lads got out again after paying the fare and then stood in the cold night air, alone, together. The environment around Aaron was spinning, and he was swaying, his eyes telling anyone who saw he was out of his head, but sure of one thing. "Turn back now if you want...last chance" Jackson's words loud in his ears and he quickly looked at him and moved closer to the swaying form of the builder close to him.

His lips pushed hard against Jackson's, he felt the light hairs of Jackson's beard against his skin it felt good. Their kiss grew in, intensity. They made their way to the door without stumbling as they didn't take their lips off each other. Jackson breathed heavily as they kissed, his cock hard, pressing against his jeans.

He reached inside his pocket for his keys and he fumbled with them as he tried to get them in the lock, he had to pull away to open the door then both men crashed through the door, causing it to bang hard against the wall enough to move back and shut again.

Landing on the stairs Jackson lay on top of Aaron. "You're big..." he mumbled.

Aaron nodded, breathlessly too he spoke. "Take a look if you want..." he urged.

"Oh I will..." Jackson's chest pushed in and out quickly as he regained his breath. "Plenty of time for that, come on...upstairs..."

Aaron nodded and pushed himself up and turned around and ran up the stairs, feeling a hard slap against his backside as he ran up the stairs. He stumbled and Jackson fell on top of him again. They both laughed. "You're very intent on me fucking you on the stairs aren't ya?"

"Fuck me anywhere you want" Aaron groaned as he imagined it all.

Moments later they walked into his flat and shut the door behind them. Jackson rushed to Aaron, placing his hands on either side of his face as they kissed, their tongues fighting once again. Jackson removed his hands and unbuttoned Aaron's jeans and pulled them down quickly. Aaron groaned, it was happening...he wanted him. He pushed Jackson away but their eyes remained locked on each other as he lifted up his jumper and pulled it off himself, then pulled his jeans off his legs completely. Now he stood naked in front of Jackson.

Jackson bit his lip as he removed his clothes too, both bodies naked. Aaron naked in an unknown environment, an unknown man who he'd longed for, for so long; his breath was ripped from him at the sight of the six pack, the muscular arms, the pecks. "Fuck me Jackson" he swallowed hard as he stepped closer to him.

Jackson reached for him and pushed him against the wall hard. "Kinky" Aaron winked. Jackson smirked as he raised Aaron's legs and wrapped them around his waist. Aaron instinctively wrapped his arms around him, he leaned in and kissed, bit, tugged at the soft skin on the side of his neck.

Jackson wet his fingers and moved his hand underneath Aaron, feeling his hole contracting, wanting him. He carefully played with it, teasing him as he rubbed his fingers around it, until he shoved two fingers in quickly. Aaron winced and lifted up slightly at the intrusion. He groaned when they were removed but were quickly replaced by a much bigger, thicker body part. "Jackson" he whispered in pleasure as his body involuntarily moved up and down against the wall and Jackson's body as he was being fucked. Fucked hard; a fuck that would last long into the night until both lads crashed down together in each other's arms.

TBC...


	3. Giving In To Temptation

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Giving In To Temptation"

This fanfic continues **the following morning after **_The Encounter_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Pain!

Pain was the first thing Aaron felt, his banging headache, the pain in his backside from the pleasurable, painful, hard intrusion from Jackson's cock the previous night. Aaron had chosen to withhold the fact that he was his first.

He pushed himself up from the mattress and turned and looked at the relaxed form of Jackson. He had to get out, he climbed out of bed slowly and quietly, he walked out of the bedroom and picked up his clothes that lay in a pile by the door of the flat. He quickly pulled them on and slipped his feet into his shoes and opened the door. His eyes widened and he turned around quickly after hearing movement from the bedroom. "Shit!" he cursed then quickly left and closed the door and ran down the stairs to the main entrance of the building and walked out into the cold air, the brightness hurting his eyes, he squinted as he walked.

Aaron reached into his pocket for his phone and the single condom that he had taken with him was still wrapped. He breathed quickly, panicking slightly. What the hell had he done? He quickly padded himself down until he felt the box, he took them out of his pocket and checked it, and three condoms were inside. "Oh god no" he groaned as he came to a stop and rested against a brick wall – head in his hands, and he was positive Jackson hadn't put one on, because of the simple fact that it all happened so fast, both men lost in their lust for each other, passion building until neither could take any more. They didn't have chance to think of safety and now Aaron was regretting it, regretting it all.

...

Aaron couldn't even begin to think of riding the bus back to the village, he could throw up any second so he chose to stick to walking; he found his way eventually and started walking. He was due in work in an hour; he'd be a bit late, he really didn't care though.

He didn't know how much time had passed, his phone was dead and he hadn't been wearing a watch, but in that moment in his peripheral vision a slow moving blue van followed alongside him. "Aaron?" Jackson shouted in a questioning tone.

"Just leave me alone Jackson!"

"No, come on...at least let me give you a lift its freezing!"

Aaron shrugged. "We shouldn't have done that Jackson"

"What?!" he looked over at him quickly as he drove, confusion in his tone.

"I said..."

"No I know what you said! But I wanted it, I thought you did" Jackson had had enough, he pulled over and jumped out of the van and within a few seconds he had ran and caught up with Aaron a few metres ahead. He ran in front of him and held out his hands and stopped him. Jackson frowned, he saw him sweating, due to the alcohol, his hangover definitely in full swing. The dark circles under his eyes, the sign of tiredness. Jackson moved into hug him.

Aaron bolted back away from him. "No, you're engaged for god sake what the hell was I thinking!" he said angrily through gritted teeth.

"Me and Tom are over" Jackson explained.

"No you aren't...he won't let it go that easily you both had a bit to drink, you'll get back together...so if you don't mind...I don't wanna be another notch on your bedpost, last night's will have to be but no more"

"I like you Aaron"

Aaron scowled and scoffed. "You don't even know me, I don't know you, don't be so stupid"

"No but we could get to know each other" reasoned Jackson.

Aaron sighed, his head overruling his heart. "What's the point? I'm hardly a catch Jackson, yeah I might look good but I won't be used for a rough fuck whenever you feel like it"

"This argument is getting us nowhere; will you please just get in the van? We're both going to the same place it makes sense"

Aaron sighed and his shoulders relaxed. "Alright, but after that...we can't have anything to do with each other"

Jackson smirked. "Yeah, like that's going to happen!"

"I mean it!" Aaron's voice was gruff and frustrated as he marched back to the van and swung open the passenger side door and got in.

...

Ten minutes later the van pulled up outside Smithy cottage per Aaron's instruction and he got out, he turned and looked at Jackson. "Just so you know...we didn't use anything last night by the way...kinda careless but suppose it happens"

Jackson sighed. "I'm clean, you don't have to worry" he explained.

"Yeah" he flicked up his eyebrows. "So am I"

Something in his voice and his look made Jackson frown, he got the hidden message Aaron was sending.

"Yeah...and it was amazing but...I- we can't..." he shrugged. "Don't know why you're even bothered to be honest..." he moved back and slammed the door then started walking up to the front door.

Jackson slammed his hands against the steering wheel. "For fuck sake Jackson! You prick!" he cursed himself, angry that he had been careless, and hadn't thought of even asking Aaron, he made no connection when Aaron told him he was new to the gay scene. He breathed heavily and he pulled away and drove down the village, slowly coming to a stop outside Dale Head, his place of work.

Aaron emerged from Smithy five minutes later in his overalls, he managed to brush his teeth and splash cold water on his face, and he felt no better. He grabbed his sunglasses, put them on and walked down the village to the garage with his hands in his pockets, keeping his eyes away from Dale Head as he passed.

...

"Where the hell have you been!" Cain shouted. "I'm up to my neck in it today!"

Aaron shrugged. "Got Ryan haven't ya?"

"Don't get smart with me!"

Aaron scowled. "Shut up, you're lucky I'm even here at all, but I'll go home if you want, don't really care!"

"Listen mate you might be hung-over but it doesn't mean you can speak to me like that, sort yourself out, shut up and get on with it, or go home and find somewhere else to work, up to you?" Cain gave the ultimatum.

"Work" Aaron resigned and walked into the garage to get some tools.

"Oh and if any customers come to you today; sunglasses off and hide that slag tag on your neck! Can see it from over here" Cain growled.

_Oh god! _Aaron thought, his day just getting worse by the minute when all he wanted was a hot shower and to go to sleep.

...

Jackson didn't really have a hang-over as such apart from a niggling headache but that didn't stop him blaring music throughout the house, partly to stop him thinking about the night before and Aaron. But it wasn't working Aaron was always on his mind now! He liked him, but yes Aaron was right, Tom, Tom was a problem.

The music stopped abruptly and Jackson swung around and Tom stood in the doorway. Jackson swallowed hard. "Err..." he began.

"So, this is Emmerdale eh? Nice. Maybe we could rent this when you're done?"

Jackson scoffed. "Did you not get any of what I said last night?"

Tom sighed and stepped closer to him. "Yes, I did but I can't bare the thought of being without you, I've been up most of the night thinking"

"You thinking? Ha ok!"

"Oh Jackson come on, I have and everything you said...you were right...I-I know you wouldn't cheat and I'll stop being paranoid, I love you and I remember the day you told me you loved me too...a romantic meal you prepared in your flat..." a smile crept upon Tom's lips as he remembered. "And I know you still do"

Jackson was looking at the floor; guilt came flooding to the surface. He did love Tom, he did but he didn't know what to do now. He looked up at him, nodding in a split second. "Yeah...I do...let's just forget last night happened" he told him quietly as well as it being a message to himself, but would he listen to it?

Tom jumped over to him and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his neck. "Thank you"

Jackson forced a smile as Tom spoke. "What did you get up to last night?"

Jackson shrugged and let out a long drawn out breath. "I got smashed...err really smashed...I don't even remember going home" he smiled. "Sorry"

Tom shook his head. "As long as you're okay, that's all that matters...I-I'll leave you to it but text me when you finish work, whatever time alright and I could come over and we'll talk some more"

Jackson looked up at him and smiled as he nodded quickly. "Sure, sounds good"

"Alright" Tom stepped back. "See you later gorgeous"

"Yeah...see ya" he trailed off and once Tom had left he crashed against the wall behind him and slid down it. His head in his hands.

...

The day dragged for Aaron but passed without further incident, although he knew Cain won't keep his mouth shut about the reddish purple bruise on his neck. He sighed, he didn't care, and he'd deal with it when it happened. He left work and rounded the corner to see Jackson's van still there; his heart pounded betraying his mind once again. He stopped for a split second, pinched his lower lip then made the decision and marched up to the green door and walked in. Jackson swung around in surprise."I thought you didn't want anything to do with me?"

Aaron didn't reply. "I saw him earlier...did you tell him?"

Jackson frowned. "Course I didn't!" he snapped, then relaxed. "I did something worse"

"Like?" Aaron's eyes narrowed as he watched.

"H-he started going on about how much he loves me and that he said he'd change...and in a split second I nodded, I agreed and as soon as it happened he jumped at me, thanking me...I couldn't take it back...and I-I do love him but it's not right, it doesn't feel right"

"Oh" Aaron's shoulders sank. "Right well I'll err, head off" he flashed a smile and reached for the handle and pulled open the door.

The door slammed shut after a fierce push from Jackson's hand. Aaron stood against the closed door, the distance between him and Jackson an arm's length – literally as he held his hand on the door still, his arm straight.

"What are you doing?" Aaron asked his voice shaky and raspy.

"I don't know...I really don't" Jackson shook his head. "You brought me alive last night...as soon as I saw you...well saw you properly...and then we talked, you're voice" Jackson lowered his head. "God you're voice"

"Jackson we can't..." Aaron spoke his tone now worried.

"Look I know this is weird, I don't know you, you don't know me but we can...easily...it'll be fun...and I'm attracted to you...I know I was drunk but I chose to do what we did, and I gave you a choice too...you wanted it as much as I did"

"And I was out of my head, but I' am attracted to you..." he reached out and tugged at Jackson's t-shirt. "God you're fit you are but Tom..." he looked away sighing unclenching his grip. "I'm not a bad person Jackson...well tell a lie...I have been, I can be but I don't want to be..." all the while Jackson moved closer.

Jackson smirked. "I love a bad boy"

Aaron turned back with a smile on his face. Decision made. "D-Do you have any idea what we're getting into?!" he demanded, as he examined his chocolate brown eyes, becoming lost in them.

Jackson swallowed hard. "Yeah...I do" his voice whispery as the gap between them finally closed and their lips locked together in a passionate embrace, hands touching, feeling, exploring, groans of pleasure at each other's touch filled the ground floor of the house.

TBC...


	4. Green Eyed Monster

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Green Eyed Monster"

This fanfic continues **two days after **_Giving In To Temptation_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron was in a foul mood, had been all day and now he was finally finished work for the day there was no sign of it letting up. He and Jackson had met several times for sex, it was amazing but now Aaron was getting a bit fed up, was there anything else to it than sex? He didn't know. He sighed and stopped when his phone beeped. He took it out and read the message. _**Dale head, now? J x**_

Aaron scowled, then looked up and saw Jackson standing at the door of the house. He shook his head as he clenched his teeth together then he purposely closed the phone in view of Jackson then turned and continued up the village.

Jackson frowned and ran after him. "W-what's going on? Aaron!"

"Don't even try touching me!" Aaron warned harshly as he continued walking. "Since we started this whole 'affair' business...it's been amazing, it has...b-but you know what...I'm not going to be a mug anymore, your mug...I thought" he stopped and sighed. He came to a stop too and turned to him. "I just thought you liked me more than physically, you don't seem interested Jackson...I've had my fun...maybe I want someone who will treat me right, I feel so sorry for Tom and I feel shit Jackson completely shit!"

"Will you keep your voice down?" Jackson hushed.

"Why should I?" Aaron stepped closer, his angered ton seeping through gritted teeth.

Jackson sighed. "You've just had a bad day babe" he soothed.

"Yeah caused by you and don't call me that" his anger overcame him and he pushed his hands into Jackson's chest harshly pushing him away.

Jackson frowned.

"Oh...you don't know? Okay...last night? Yes you remember...after we had sex in the pavilion, I went home got showered walked into the pub to find who? Jackson who?"

Jackson sighed and looked away "Me and Tom" he answered.

"Got it in one!"

Adam watched and listened out of the pairs view. He was confused. What the hell was going on? Aaron was getting himself really, really wound up.

"But you knew about the situation Aaron! We couldn't help ourselves and I still can't, you're turning me right on when you're angry mate..."

Aaron then pointed. "Don't! Don't you dare! Now shove off because your fiancés just pulled into the village, again! Have a good night Jackson, I'll be by myself as usual, you have some serious thinking to do" he told him as he stepped away.

"What's that supposed to mean Aaron?"

"Just think Jackson!" he called back, breathing hard, shaking, those brown eyes. He sighed, he needed Jackson he really did.

Jackson turned back and smiled as Tom got out of his car that he'd parked outside Dale head. "Hey gorgeous" Tom called as they met.

"Hey" Jackson replied a slight smile on his face.

"Who was that you were talking too? The young kid"

"Oh him, he's a mechanic I erm I need him to sort out the van, not running right lately"

"Ahh right, better get it sorted then...wanna go for a pint, I like it in there, I like this village actually" Tom told him, nervous about a meeting he had planned with Declan over the house, and Jackson had no idea about it.

...

In the pub, Tom and Jackson sat together and Tom was chatting about plans they had decided to make. The past and how it wouldn't be the same and that they were going to have a good life and he would change, all the while Jackson just sat listening occasionally smiling to let him know he was still listening but in his mind the words weren't registering all he could think of was Aaron. What did he mean by 'just think'? Think about him being alone every night when he was having sex with Tom, which was mind-numbing to him now and he hated the thought of Aaron being alone, he wanted to be with him. Jackson sighed slightly and saw Declan walking over with a folder tucked under his arm, a pint in his hand.

"...Jackson? You listening?" Tom asked.

Jackson nodded. "Sorry I was miles away, what?"

"I mentioned us living together" Tom explained as he looked nervously towards Declan. "I erm I organised a meeting so we could rent Dale head..." he swallowed hard, unsure of Jackson's reaction.

Jackson shot a look at Tom. "You did what?" he snapped.

"We decided Jackson, to live together..."

"If this is a bad time guys...We can re-arrange..." Declan interrupted.

"No, no, please sit down" Tom said as he held out his hand. "I'm Tom, we spoke on the phone"

Declan shook his hand. "Nice to finally meet you, Jackson has spoken about you" he smiled giving a glance over to Jackson, sensing the unusually awkward atmosphere.

"I should hope he has too, so...where do we start?" Tom wondered.

"Well, it's the price really, see if it works for you, if not I might be able to knock a little off but that's all it'll be...let's get started shall we?"

Jackson nodded with an unheard sigh as he rested his elbow onto the table and placed his chin in the palm of his hand, listening to what was being said.

After several minutes Tom got up to get more drinks. Declan frowned. "Jackson I don't mean to intrude but you don't seem to want this..."

Jackson shrugged. "It's what he wants...he wants to give it a go...I don't really have a say in the matter"

"You always have a say mate..."

Jackson lowered his head. "Hmm well"

"Is something wrong?" Declan asked.

"N-No..." he looked up and smiled. "I'm just knackered lately overdoing it, trying to get it done, but don't worry about me"

"Well I do, we've known each other for a few months now and we've got on, so i think of you as a mate Jackson...so yeah I do care, just take it easy and try to look a bit happier before your husband to be returns, the atmosphere here is epic!" he smirked.

Jackson chuckled and nodded. "Thanks mate" his eyes looked to the door and watched as Aaron walked into the pub, looking hot. He sighed and lowered his head.

Aaron saw Jackson as he walked in and he stood at the bar, biting his lip in frustration. Diane walked over to him after giving Tom his change. "What can I get you love?" she asked cheerfully.

"Double vodka" he told her.

"That's not like you"

"Yeah well I'm not feeling myself either so I'll try something different, stronger" he flashed a smile and waited for his drink.

Once she placed the glass down, the contents were gone in seconds. Aaron gasped as the liquid burnt his throat on the way down. "And another" he said as he nodded to her.

Diane frowned. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah" he said quickly. "Why wouldn't I be?" he said as he turned and quickly looked at Jackson's table.

"But you just said...oh never mind...men!" he grumbled jokingly. "Coming right up" she told him and poured another. He downed that immediately as well. Diane frowned. "I'm not complaining cause its money in my till but take it easy love, whatever it is, it'll work out..."

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Hmm..." he said as he handed over money for the two vodka's.

Across the pub Declan smiled. "So, we're agreed...house will be done..." Declan looked at Jackson for the answer.

"Tomorrow" Jackson answered.

Declan nodded and Tom grinned. "Right then, move in as soon as you want then, great doing business with you"

Jackson flashed a smile.

"I'll leave you two to celebrate" Declan said as he stood. "See you both later"

"Thanks Declan" Tom said and both men watched him leave, he reached over and put his arm around Jackson and rested his head on his shoulder. "Our first home, it's going to be amazing" he lifted up and looked at him

Jackson smiled. "It is" he told trying his best to seem genuine. He then turned away and closed his eyes briefly.

Back at the bar Declan stood beside a half cut Aaron. "Alright mate?"

Aaron nodded lazily. "What was going on there?"

"Just signing contracts for Dale head, gunna have new neighbours" Declan told him.

Aaron's eyes narrowed. "Them?" indicating Tom and Jackson.

Declan nodded as he downed the last of his pint and placed the glass on the bar. "Night mate" he said to Aaron and left.

Aaron sighed. "Diane..." he caught her attention as she walked over.

"Yes love?"

"How much for the bottle?"

"You sure?"

"Absolutely!" he grinned and he handed over a bank note, surely enough to cover the bottle. Apprehensively she placed the bottle down and took his money. "If I have Paddy or your mum down my throat mind I won't be happy!" she warned.

"They won't know, I'll stumble home quietly" he joked and chuckled as he poured some vodka into his glass.

"And what are you doing?" Adam asked, a sharp tone to his voice.

"Drinking mate, it's a pub"

"Vodka? A bottle to yourself?"

"Oh seriously I can't be doing with your crap mate so if you are gunna complain about me drinking a bottle you can jog on"

Adam frowned. "No, mate...come over to a table...please...you don't, you don't seem right..."

Aaron sighed and got down from the bar stool taking his glass and bottle with him. He sat down on the padded seat a few seconds later just to the side of the bar.

"Since you told me you were gay, you've changed mate"

"How? By doing what every teenager does? Goes out, gets smashed, sex"

"Eh? Y-You mean you've done it with a bloke already?"

Aaron sighed and looked over at Jackson. "Yeah, and it was amazing" he poured some more vodka into his glass and downed it.

"I-I saw you having a bit of a to do with that Jackson bloke, the builder...what's going on there then?"

Aaron shrugged. "Nothing, he's just being funny with me about his van, I missed something when I was looking at it the other day"

"Looked a bit more personal to me"

Aaron shot a look at him. "Why were you even watching?" Aaron snapped.

"Because you were really wound up Aaron, I'm your mate just trying to look out for ya, and I'm more worried now because you're sat drinking that, you drink lager all the time, come on...you can see why I'm like this surely?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, yeah alright I do"

"Tell me the truth mate..." Adam said as Jackson and Tomwalked by them and walked to the door, Aaron and Jackson's eyes looking, connecting for a brief second until Jackson left.

"And if I do, you tell no one..."

Adam nodded. "Yeah, whatever..."

"I'm seeing him, Jackson" he said as he took a breath.

Adam's eyes widened. "What! He's engaged! He's having an affair with you?"

Aaron nodded.

"Do you know what you're doing? You've not long come out mate..."

"No I don't know what I'm doing but..." Aaron looked away.

"You're starting to like him aren't you? More than just physically"

Aaron let out a shaky breath and nodded. "Yeah, Adam...I' am...and now they're moving into Dale head together, I want him...I want him so badly...I could love him mate, he's so fit, funny...passionate"

"But what about the rest of him?"

Aaron shrugged.

"Then you have a problem, just looks physical to me"

Aaron nodded in agreement.

"This is going to come back and hit you right in the face sooner or later"

Aaron scoffed. "Yeah...and if and when that time comes don't you dare say I told you so"

"No but I'll be there for you, you need to talk to him Aaron, get to know each other, find out if the pain that it's already causing you is worth it..."

Aaron nodded. "I intend too..." he said as he stood up, with his bottle in hand. "See you later mate"

Adam sighed. "Aaron where you going with that?"

"Out, need to be alone" he explained.

"You're drunk mate if you fall or..." he growled, he wasn't leaving him and he got up and began to follow him out.

Outside in the cold night air Aaron looked at Adam. "I'll be fine, please just leave me be yeah? I'm fine"

"Aaron I can't mate, come on..." he pleaded.

"NO!" he yelled. "I said. Leave. Me. Alone!" he warned him.

Adam shook his head. "Right, fine but if you hurt yourself what'll happen then?" he asked.

Aaron shrugged. "I'll just have to make sure I don't" he told him then turned and walked away from the pub holding up the bottle as a signal of goodbye.

...

Back in Hotten, Jackson stood in the doorway of Tom's house. "You look exhausted babe" Tom commented.

Jackson scoffed. "Yeah, don't mind if I go back to my own bed tonight do you?"

"No course not" worry washed across his face. "Just make sure you open the window while you're driving"

Jackson nodded and leaned in and kissed him. "Call ya tomorrow"

...

Aaron had drunk three quarters of the bottle by the time he stopped on the dark, pitch black, country road. He sighed and sat under a tree, he closed his eyes feeling the wind sweep across his body and face, it felt good. He opened his eyes again and everything was spinning around him, he hadn't eaten before he left Smithy which wasn't helping him right now. He shrugged and downed the rest of the bottle in the dark under the tree very close to the side of the road.

Jackson drove back to Emmerdale, he needed to see Aaron, he needed to talk to him, he knew the lad was hurting and it was because of him, he had to somehow fix it, fix him. He drove along the dark roads carefully with his window down wide for fresh air. He frowned when his headlights flashed by something at the side of the road. He put his foot on the brake and when the van eventually came to a stop he reversed back and looked out the window. He sighed and dropped his head back onto the head rest. It was Aaron; he jumped out of the van and walked over to him quickly.

When Jackson was nearing Aaron opened his eyes and saw him, and he began to stand but he failed and stumbled against a sharp prickly bush. He felt arms, big strong arms around him. Then the voice he fought so hard to ignore, the voice that was soothing him. "Hey...Aaron...what you doing eh?"

"I was drinking, walking...drinking again then I sat there...was peaceful, didn't stop my mind going into overdrive though" he explained his body facing away from Jackson still but his arms were still around him keeping him steady.

"Listen...I'm sorry..."

Aaron turned around in his arms. "Sorry that you're going to be cosying up in that house together?"

"Yeah I' am Aaron, I'm dreading it, I'd rather it be you"

"Don't make me laugh!"

"He organised that meeting without me knowing, it's what he wants...he's probably packing his stuff as we speak" Jackson sighed. "I-I had no choice, I was rail-roaded into it" he told him "I-I-I'll tell him"

"Tell him what?" Aaron spat.

"That it's over...that I've met someone else"

"Don't" he shook his head.

"Eh!" Jackson snapped. "I thought it was what you wanted"

"It is, but I'm not good enough for you" he pointed and his finger pressed into Jackson's chest with effect.

"Oh trust me you are"

Aaron pulled out of his arms and walked out of the bushes and stood on the roadside. "How then? Tell me exactly what you think about me? Because I need to know Jackson, because all we are at the moment is physical and I-I want more than that, maybe I wouldn't if it was someone else but you...you make me want to actually be with you and we can't do that if we don't know anything about each other"

"You're on my mind every single second, we connected the first time we laid eyes on each other, there's something there...you make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me want to be with you"

"But we haven't gotten to know each other"

Jackson stepped closer. "But I promise we will, we will Aaron please just trust me..."

"How can I trust you when I know you go back to him every night and you fuck his brains out like you do to me" Aaron was surprised when he realised he was sobbing as he spoke. "Oh god" he said as he wiped his eyes and turned away."This isn't me Jackson, I don't do breaking down in front of anyone, and I don't start getting feelings either!" he growled and he flung the empty vodka bottle down onto the road at his feet, shards of glass flying everywhere. Aaron moved quickly and winced as some glass hit his arm.

Jackson was by his side seconds later again. "Let me see your arm" Aaron flinched away. "I said!" Jackson said more authoritively and Aaron relaxed and Jackson saw the cut that had drawn blood. Aaron snatched his arm away again. "I'm fine, I can't feel it"

"You're getting feelings for me?" Jackson asked softly.

Aaron nodded hesitantly. "Yeah, like...I miss you when you're not around, I'm jealous of you and him together, the thought..." he cringed. "The thought of him on top of you...I come alive when you text or call..." he shrugged. "I dunno what it is but I feel so much for you...I want you so, so badly and I know I can't" he shrugged as he explained, then he stepped away and leaned against the back doors of the van.

"You can have me Aaron...I want you too I do..."

"Prove it Jackson because I won't be taken for an idiot any longer"

"I don't think you're an idiot or a mug Aaron, I'd never think that" he soothed as he cupped his cheek in his hand. He then pulled away and opened the back doors, after Aaron moved away briefly. He put his arm around Aaron and sat him down on the free space by at the very back of the van, Jackson sat beside him, their view of the long narrow road in the darkness, with their eyes now adjusted they could make out the field boundary walls at the side of the road and the trees and bushes lining the opposite side. In the silence Jackson spoke. "I feel stuff for you too Aaron...And I want you, more than I want him...it's a mess I know it is...but I'll fix it...I will tell him...tomorrow..."

"You mean it?"

Jackson nodded.

"B-But what if it doesn't work between us? What if I'm a crap boyfriend, what I make you resent me for splitting you two up?"

Jackson chuckled. "You will be amazing Aaron, I could never resent you because with you I'd be happy, a hell of a lot happier than I' am now"

"Okay..." Aaron breathed out. "So we're doing this?"

Jackson nodded with a smile. "Yeah we are"

Aaron smiled back at him, able to make out his features in the dark, he could see and sense that he was happy. "Good, good..." Aaron smiled and he leaned in and kissed him, but he stopped it there, as much as he wanted him then and there, now was the time for some conversation. "So...Mr. Walsh...talk...talk about you...I want to know the man who fucks me senseless every day..." he smirked.

"Okay..." he chuckled. "Where to start...hmm..." silence fell upon them for a couple of seconds. "Oh yeah..." and the conversation had begun, the journey of both men getting to know each other, other than physically. To both of them, it felt good and Aaron's first instinct was that the previous hurt had been worth it. They could be happy together. But like the road ahead of them, dark and unknown...as were their lives. The days ahead...only time would tell how it all played out.

TBC...


	5. Ultimatums & Heartbreak

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Ultimatums & Heartbreak"

This fanfic continues **two days after **_Green Eyed Monster_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron woke up with a hearty stretch across his bed. He smiled and reached his phone and read a text from Jackson. _**Morning sexy xx **_Aaron grinned and sent his reply. The previous day he had a bit of an argument with Jackson because he still hadn't told Tom. But Jackson explained that he hadn't seen Tom so he hadn't been able too. Aaron had backed down and accepted it, and it probably was true because he hadn't seen him either and it had only been Jackson moving their stuff into the house so far.

Aaron sat up and swung his legs round off and out of the warm bed, he got up and walked to the wardrobe, he looked out the window, it looked like a hot day, then he glanced over to the underwear drawer, he pouted and shook his head. "Nah...Why not? Just one day can't hurt..." he pulled on some trackies and then slid into his overalls, he decided against a t-shirt underneath.

He thundered down the stairs as usual on a morning and walked into the kitchen and sneakily pinched a slice of Paddy's toast while he was stood making some tea. He bit into it and left. _Mmm favourite marmalade eh Paddy _he thought with a smirk as he chewed the bread. "See ya!" he called out and left quickly, chewing the toast as he walked down the village to the garage, as he looked down he saw a white removal van outside Dale Head. He sighed and walked by without any eye contact however he knew Jackson was standing looking at him confused.

...

Two hours had passed, Aaron's hands were covered in oil, he'd been working on the same engine since work began and with the sun beating down it wasn't helping, sweat trickled down his face and neck, he could feel it all over his body, it was uncomfortable but he tried to ignore it as he worked. Moments later Cain slapped him on his back. "Just going into town, I'll be gone the rest of the day"

Aaron looked up and nodded as he caught the keys that Cain threw to him. "Pay packets in the drawer, you'll be pleasantly surprised" Cain smirked. "Done a good job lately kid, proud of ya" he smiled. "Lock up?"

Aaron smiled, pleased with himself, he dropped the keys into his pocket and nodded. "Yeah course, cheers Cain"

"No problem, see ya tomorrow"

Aaron nodded and returned his attention to the annoying engine before him. He was going to sort it whether it was the last thing he'd ever do. He looked up when Cain drove off; he waited a few seconds until he decided to walk to where he could see dale head. Tom's car had gone but the removal van was still parked outside. He clenched his teeth together and stormed over. "Hey!" he snapped angrily as Jackson was carrying a few boxes inside.

Jackson placed them down on the grass and stepped over to him, frowning. "You seemed sound in your text earlier and then when you were walking to the garage you blanked me and now you seem pissed off"

"Yeah because Tom's been here all morning and by the sounds of well nothing you haven't told him, I think I would have heard the ructions if you had!"

Jackson sighed. "I told you Aaron"

"Yeah that you'd tell him and I accepted your excuse yesterday but not now, you said you'd tell him Jackson, so just do it!" his voice was loud and full of frustration and anger. He turned and stormed back to the garage.

Jackson watched him leave and his heart sank, he knew what he was unintentionally doing to him and he knew it wasn't fair, but all of this with Tom was difficult. He maybe did want to have his cake and eat it. He sighed and shook his head and picked the boxes up and took them inside.

...

Later that afternoon Aaron was working on a new job, underneath it. He was nearly done. "Aaron!" Jackson's voice seemed loud and he jumped and banged his head off the underside of the car.

"Jesus Jackson!" he growled and pushed himself out from underneath the car, he rubbed his forehead as he stood up. "What do you want? Shouldn't you be explaining to your _fiancé _that you want me_? _Unless you've changed your mind_"_

Jackson frowned and shook his head. "Course I haven't, I want you all the time Aaron, I wanna be with you"

"Not giving a good impression of that" Aaron sighed and turned to walk into the garage. But Jackson grabbed his arm halfway and dragged him round the side of the garage and slammed him up against it. Both men were breathing hard.

"Aaron, I will tell him, but it's going to hurt him, I have to do it right...try and ease it..." he sighed and shook his head. "I'm all over the place I feel bad for Tom I do but it's not him I want it's you...we err we're having a housewarming tomorrow night...I'll tell him after that...please Aaron, I'm begging...I thought I could do it but I need time...then we can be together"

Aaron swallowed hard, his eyes drowning in Jackson's. He nodded ever so slightly. "Last chance..." he breathed.

Jackson nodded.

"Kiss me..." his words were a mere whisper and Jackson didn't need telling twice, he moved in quickly, there kiss was rough, hard and passionate. When they pulled apart both were breathing hard, but pleasured, Aaron's cock was fully erect, the things Jackson did to him...

"Tom he won't be in later for a few hours...come round...I'll text you..."

Aaron nodded, his eyes fixed on Jackson he fascinated him. He was beautiful. Perfect. "Alright" he answered to which Jackson smiled and kissed him again before walking back to the house.

Aaron remained where he was for a few minutes before walking back to the front of the garage when he did he jumped out of his skin. "Jesus Adam! People seem to be trying to kill me today!"

"Quick session round there was it? Saw him leaving" he said with a disapproving tone.

Aaron walked ahead, passed him. "As if!"

"Fumble then? A kiss?"

"Why do you want to know? Jealous?" Aaron snapped back.

Adam sighed. "You have to stop this mate"

"I can't Adam, I wanna be with him"

"How? How the hell do you know that eh? So soon"

Aaron spun around to him and pointed angrily. "Don't you dare! I might have been unsure about a lot of things a while ago but this. Him. I'm sure of; keep your fucking nose out!"

"You're going to get hurt"

Aaron shook his head as he pinched his bottom lip.

"Yes you will!"

"Woah woah...lads...what the hell is going on here?" Chas asked in her usual high pitch tone as she rounded the corner to the garage to hear them arguing.

Aaron stepped away and took a second to calm down. "Nothing"

"Didn't sound like nothing" she replied.

"Leave it!" Aaron snapped.

"Okay...well anyway was wondering if you wanna come to me and Carl's for tea?"

Aaron scoffed. "That's be a no"

"Aww Aaron please"

"No, he's a prick, I can't stand him...sorry and anyway i'm doing something already" he told her.

"Like what?" Adam questioned.

Aaron glanced over to him shaking his head. "None of your business"

"Okay...right I'll erm..." Chas' tone was flat, and disappointed. "See ya later then" she said and turned away.

"Yeah see ya" Aaron replied.

He couldn't believe what he was doing, he was being so stupid! Adam turned to leave aswell. "Sort this out mate...you need too"

"Just do one Adam!"

...

Aaron was outside Dale head as soon as Jackson's text gave him the all clear. Aaron knocked and the door was opened within seconds. Both smiles crept upon their faces. "Hey" Jackson said softly.

"Hey yourself" Aaron replied with a smirk as he stepped inside, letting Jackson close the door.

"Good day?"

Aaron shrugged and shook his head. "Not really...better now though"

"What happened?" Jackson asked.

"Just all of this...and work, stressing me out"

Jackson placed his hand on his shoulder. "It'll get better I promise"

Aaron nodded and looked around. "Nice place"

"Yeah it's not bad, wanna tour?"

Aaron smiled. "Go on then" with that Jackson took his hand and led him upstairs.

...

A while later, in the main bedroom, Aaron pulled the filled condom from his cock and carefully placed it down in the bin beside the bed then he fell down onto Jackson. "Don't forget about that being there" he panted, both men hot and sweaty. Aaron was breathing fast, his heart going ten to the dozen. Jackson smirked, he slowly pushed Aaron off him and he climbed on top of him, his body lying across Aaron's. He kissed his neck and Aaron groaned in response. He bit his ear gently and whispered. "My turn..."

Aaron grinned. "Fuck me..."

"I intend to" Jackson said as he sat up, his body in-between Aaron's muscular legs. He reached for a condom and ripped it open, carelessly dropping the packet to the floor in anticipation of what was to come. He slid the condom over his long, hard thick cock, Aaron knew he was ready and he opened his legs wider, begging, wanting to be fucked.

Seconds later Jackson was leaning over Aaron pushing himself into him. Aaron flung his head back deep into the pillow in pleasure and he arched his back, god he'd wanted this.

Jackson thrust slowly into Aaron's hole as he leaned over him and softly kissed his neck. Aaron felt something, it was different, he opened his eyes and Jackson's met his, the look there, the warmth in them, the gentleness of Jackson, it was all different to the other times they'd fucked. This...this was making love.

Aaron lifted his head and planted his own reaffirming kiss onto Jackson's lips. Aaron wanted him, whatever it took, they would be together. Aaron's groans escalated within the next few minutes. "Jackson..." he breathed.

Jackson ran his tongue over one of Aaron's hard reacting nipples. He lifted up and smirked at him.

"Harder Jackson..." he begged.

Jackson nodded, their eyes locked together until Jackson lay fully on top of him, kissing his neck again and Aaron wrapped his arms around his smooth muscular back to keep him there, Jackson's cock was in deep, it felt amazing. All of that pleasure however stopped and Aaron's eyes widened he slapped Jackson's back to get his attention. "J-J-Jackson you have to stop...the door...I-I just heard the door!" he whispered but his tone urgent.

"What?!" Jackson asked as he lifted up.

"I swear to you, come on you've gotta get out of me now..." Aaron told him.

Jackson did as he was told and both of them jumped up and began to hurry into their clothes. _I'm home! _They heard his voice, downstairs.

Aaron's eyes widened. "Shit! What do I do?!" he needed to know.

"Er-Er...in there...the wardrobe come on...quick" he rushed him.

"In there?" he frowned.

"Yes Aaron" he told him quietly and Aaron sighed and quickly stood inside, crouched down slightly and Jackson closed the door.

Aaron sat with his head in his hands.

...

His previous erect cock was now flaccid due to the panic and unexpected interruption. Jackson wiped his brow as he walked down the stairs and smiled at Tom as he took a breath. "Wasn't expecting you back till ten"

Tom nodded. "Yeah I know but Maria had to get home something to do with little Sam getting sick...so the night ended there...good meal though"

"Good" Jackson smiled.

"Guess what though?" Tom said with a smirk.

"What?"

"I want you naked in our bed in five minutes..."

Jackson frowned. "Eh?"

"You heard...I'm just gunna nip to the shop while it's still open get us in a bottle of wine..."

Jackson nodded. "Cool...but I'm knackered...been moving all our stuff in remember?"

"That's fine...I'll do the work..." Tom winked. "Back in a bit"

Jackson smiled. "See you in a minute" As soon as the door closed he bolted upstairs. "Aaron! Aaron!" he said with a raised voice. By the time he reached the main bedroom Aaron was creeping out from the wardrobe.

"He's gone to the shop...he'll be back in a minute..." Jackson was rushed.

"Yeah I heard" Aaron looked and sounded sad, he walked to the door. "Suppose he'll finish you off then..." he said with a sigh.

"Aaron please don't be like that"

"How do you expect me to react, what we just did was different to anything before, it was Jackson, I felt it...you must have!"

Jackson lowered his head and nodded.

"I'll see myself out...it's him or me Jackson...so...it's up to you" he told him before leaving the bedroom and running down the stairs as fast as he could, then he left through the back door.

As the door slammed shut the realisation of what Aaron had said in his last words really hit home, and he was right about what they were doing, it wasn't just sex...he shook his head. Not that time...

Seconds later Jackson ran around the bed and grabbed the bin bag and tied it up and ran downstairs into the kitchen and grabbed two wine glasses, then walked outside and put the bag in the bin, then walked back inside and stood by the sink, he turned the tap on and splashed cold water onto his face.

"I thought I said naked in bed"

Jackson turned quickly. "Yeah I know and I will be but these glasses needed washing, all dusty and stuff...so..."

"Oh right" Tom smiled.

"And...I haven't had a shower yet..." Jackson said as he leaned into him. "So...you're going to have to wait just that little bit longer" he kissed his lips briefly, for a split second then pulled away.

"Such a tease...go on then..." Tom smiled.

"Won't be long" Jackson said as he made way for the stairs.

...

A few hours later Jackson was spent, and he lay on his side, Tom let him off, he knew he'd been busy all day he was bound to be tired. He turned and smiled as he looked at his fiancé. He lifted up and got out of bed to go to the bathroom.

Returning moments later Tom sat on the edge of the bed and took a sip of wine from his glass and placed it back on the bedside table, he moved slightly and his foot slid under the bed a little. Tom frowned; he felt something tickle his foot. He leaned down and reached under, it wasn't until he pulled it into view that he dropped it on the floor in shock. He frowned. What? He knew for a fact it wasn't there before they moved in and he and Jackson didn't use them, they'd been together long enough now. He stared down at the condom wrapper and he silently cried. Jackson had been acting strangely lately, the more he thought about it. Was he seeing someone else behind his back? Could he do that?

Tom pushed the wrapper under the bed again and he calmed himself as much as he could. He lay back down slowly and positioned himself as far away from Jackson as he could. He was going to be watching now, carefully. Very carefully watching for signs...watching for whoever it was he was seeing, it would come out and when it did he would make sure Jackson wouldn't forget it but until then, whether it was a day, two, weeks or months...he would bide his time. Jackson the man he loved now seemed like a stranger. He cried himself to sleep that night, but revenge would soon surface in the waking hours of dawn.

TBC...


	6. Secret's Out

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Secret's Out"

This fanfic continues **the next day after **_Ultimatums & Heartbreak_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron was busy, Cain had left him too, probably for the rest of the day and Ryan had asked for the day off. He had two cars to sort after the one he was working on and they had to be done before one, he had a couple of hours.

Jackson was at work, although getting the jobs done his mind was elsewhere. He was frustrated he took a deep breath and stopped what he was doing; he pulled out his phone _**We need to talk. **_Jackson hit send.

Tom was pacing the bedroom, his and Jackson's, his eyes remained fixed on the bed, making him worse. During the night he'd woken up a few times, he'd done the crying, for now that was over. In an angry outburst he ripped the bedding off and slung it out of the room. He stood, his chest rising quickly, he tried to get his breath back, to calm himself down. He had too he had to prepare the house for the party for the evening. He pulled out his phone quickly when it beeped; he frowned when he read the text from Jackson. He sighed. _**Ok later, at the party x **_he hit send, he clenched his teeth together hating the fact he put a kiss at the end to make everything seem okay. It was far from it.

...

Tom had asked Chas, who he'd got on with since arriving in the village to let people know that they were holding a housewarming party and everyone was invited. He walked round the garage, a few cars were parked up in a line and he saw one in front of the garage that was being worked on.

Aaron's head was under the bonnet of the Nissan he was currently occupied with. He heard the gravel clicking together a few metres away, whoever it was would have to wait. Seconds later he saw someone beside him. Aaron looked briefly then had to double take when he realised it was Tom. He swallowed hard, and frowned. "Hi"

"Hi" Tom smiled. "You're Chas' son right?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, I'm Aaron..."

"That's right you sorted Jackson's van out the other day, I'm Tom his fiancé..."

"Yeah he mentioned you, I've seen you around..." he looked back to the engine on the car. "How's the house?"

"Yeah not bad, we're having a housewarming tonight; I wasn't sure if your mum would have told you but thought I'd check"

Aaron shook his head. "No, she didn't"

"Well you're invited so I look forward to seeing you there"

Aaron tensed instantly. "Oh I dunno...I dunno how long this'll take...If I can...maybe" he nodded.

"Okay, no worries, I'll have a pint ready if you do"

Aaron half smiled. "Yeah, cheers" he trailed off.

Tom smiled and turned away again.

"Er Tom...!" Aaron called, his words left his mouth without so much of a thought, then as Tom turned to face him he realised what he was doing. "Yeah...I'll be there" he told him.

"Good man" Tom nodded and carried on walking back to the house.

Aaron slammed his fist down on the front of the car; he closed his eyes and shook his head. He was going to tell him. But didn't. He should have.

...

Tom was watching as Jackson pulled up outside the house, he frowned when he didn't come in instead he headed to the garage. Tom turned and smiled at the few guests already there, Chas, Paddy, Pearl and Adam. Tom excused himself and ran upstairs and looked out the spare bedroom window where he had a full view of the garage. He watched.

"Your text panicked the crap out of me what is it Aaron?" Jackson asked as he approached his arms out as his side then dropped them at his waist.

"You should be panicked!" Aaron glared at him.

"Why?"

"Because Tom asked me to this housewarming tonight, I nearly freaked, tried to keep it together...I nearly told him, I was going too but I stopped"

Jackson sighed. "I'm sorry Aaron" he stepped closer, their bodies touching, so so close together. Jackson placed his hand on Aaron's face and rested his forehead against his. Jackson closed his eyes. "I want you Aaron..."

"I want you too but I'm just going to get hurt Jackson...I hate this, I hate all of it...why couldn't you have just left him?" he said sadly.

Jackson shrugged. "I'm a coward..."

"No..." Aaron couldn't hear that. "No...No you're not, but you have to fix this"

"I'm going too tonight...then it's me and you, I promise...you're so special to me..."

Aaron sighed. "I know I'm younger than you so don't just be fobbing me off...if you want me then show me that you do and get rid of him because I can't take any more of this!" he urged him, tears filling his eyes.

"Hey...don't cry"

"I can't help it" he spat. "I'm feeling things for you Jackson...whatever happens I'll be in the gutter, alone...permanent nights alone...I need you" he admitted shyly.

Jackson was worried for him, for them, he lifted Aaron's head slightly and kissed him, kissed him softly, their lips brushing together, Aaron opened his mouth and allowed Jackson's tongue to slide into his mouth, now both tongues touching, Aaron let out a groan as they kissed.

Tom looked away; he swallowed hard, his eyes fixed to the wall. He shook his head. How could they?

They parted seconds later. "You'll never be alone Aaron, me and you...together, tonight...tonight and it'll just be me and you"

Aaron nodded. "I trust you"

"Good, because as soon as I walk in that door I'm telling him"

Aaron nodded. "I'll brace myself then" he smirked.

Jackson left and walked to the house, he swung open the door. "Tom!" he yelled but stopped in his tracks to see a few guests already there. "Oh...hey..."

"Hiya love he's just upstairs...think you better go and get changed before everything gets here"

Jackson smiled nervously and nodded then walked up the stairs.

"Yeah?" Tom asked as he approached Jackson on the landing.

"I need to talk..."

"No...Not now we've got guests Jackson, get yourself showered and lets get this party started" he forced a smile as he brushed past him.

"No, Tom listen to me!" he urged.

"I' am doing...but there's more important things going on at the moment, shower now..."

Jackson turned and pushed the bathroom door open with force causing it to bang off the wall. "For fuck sake Tom!" he growled.

Tom stopped on the stairs and smirked. _ No Chance._ He thought, he wasn't about to let Jackson have a talk with him now, he knew what it was about. How couldn't he not know? Jackson was choosing to be with someone else, it was obvious by his actions.

...

Once downstairs, Tom opened the front door, an invitation to the villagers and turned up the music, the sun was setting, the evening warm. He greeted the rest of the Barton family as they arrived, more of the Dingles. By that time Jackson was downstairs and he greeted Declan when he came in.

"Hi mate, thanks for coming"

Declan frowned. "No worries, just a little something" he handed over the champagne that Jackson took gratefully. "Mate, are you alright?"

"Yeah why?" Jackson asked.

"You seem stressed"

Jackson nodded. "I' am a bit to be honest but erm...once I've had a few it'll pass" he smiled

Declan nodded then carried on through the living room to mingle with the other villagers.

...

Hours had passed, it was nine, and the sun had disappeared now street lamps lit the village. Aaron stood looking out of the kitchen window, he saw villagers outside Dale head, laughing talking and enjoying the night the party was in full swing it seemed. Aaron sighed and sat alone at the table, Smithy cottage was quiet. Paddy had already left for the party hours before. He looked down at himself, dressed and ready to go, he didn't want to now.

A while later Aaron sighed and got up from the table and left the house and walked down the village. At the same time Tom had quietened their guests. "A speech Tom really?" Jackson asked bluntly.

Tom was calm. And he simply nodded. "Yes Jackson, a speech...right first of all I'd like to thank everybody for coming it's been great to get to know you all a bit more...now I'd like to say I look forward to many more parties here in this house, with Jackson"

Everyone looked around at each other confused. Jackson quickly looked at Tom, frowning.

"But I won't be here...purely because of the simple fact that he, he has been having sex with someone else behind my back!"

Gasps filled the room, stares penetrated Jackson.

Tom smiled as tears filled his eyes. "Nah, he's not denying it...should really dispose of condom wrappers a bit more carefully Jackson, instead of leaving them lying on the floor...under the bed...OUR bed...I found it..."

Adam sighed and lowered his head shaking it.

"Now, who is it I ask you all...well..."

In that moment Aaron walked into the house, apart from quiet music everyone was quiet and all eyes turned on him. "Here he is" Tom said bitterly.

"Here's what?" Aaron asked frowning.

Tom stepped forward, closer but Jackson stood blocking his way to Aaron. "I can explain Tom...I should have explained ages ago!" Jackson told him quickly.

"Aaron?" Chas questioned him, everyone switching from Aaron, Tom, and then Jackson.

"Is this true?" Paddy asked as he got to his feet.

Aaron lowered his head and nodded.

"Aaron you stupid idiot!" Chas yelled, angry.

"Lover boy has been more honest than you ever have Jackson" Tom spat. "So come on...why?" he asked angrily as he pushed him back.

Jackson sighed as he regained his balance. "Because...because we aren't who we used to be...I-I got bored...Aaron...and I met...and" he shrugged. "He makes me feel good, we talk...we understand each other..."

"How could you do this Jackson, he's only a kid!" Chas yelled.

"I'm not a kid!" Aaron yelled angrily. "It happened, we can't take it back, I wanna be with him and Jackson wants to be with me!"

Chas put her head in her hands and rubbed her eyes in disbelief.

"Aaron mate, I think you should go" Adam told him.

"He's not going anywhere" Tom growled as he pushed back Jackson, now face to face with Aaron. "He can't protect you now"

"No...But we can" Chas stood and was joined by Zak.

Tom shook his head, then looked back at Aaron. "So, that's true is it?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, it is...I'm sorry Tom"

"You're sorry!" Anger increased in his tone.

Aaron just nodded.

Catching Chas and Zak off guard Tom flung his fist at Aaron, striking his hard in the face, knocking him back into the wall. Aaron got up and moved to the open door. "I deserved that" he said quietly and walked out into the dark.

Tom shook his head and followed him. "Think this is over do ya?!"

"Hey!" Jackson ran out after them followed by several people from the party. "You touch him again and I swear to god I'll hit you myself Tom...leave him, this is all my fault...he told me to tell you, he wanted me too, but I didn't I dragged it out, I was going to tell you after the party"

"Oh and that's nice isn't it?" he glared at him and pushed him away causing him to fall onto his backside.

Tom followed Aaron far enough away from anyone stopping him for a few seconds, he pulled him back by his shoulder and punched him, again and again. Aaron was just taking it. "You have ruined my life!" he screamed at the bloodied mess of Aaron.

Aaron spat out blood as Tom stopped. His breathing was hard, strained. "I-I-I know" he nodded. "B-But I love him" Aaron let out a cry and dropped to his knees, while his arms gripped his sides where Tom had landed a few punches quickly.

Jackson heard Aaron's words, they slid right into his heart, he smiled a little. Aaron loved him. "Will you do something!" Adam yelled. "It should be you getting the beating not him!" Adam then shook his head and stormed over to Jackson and grabbed him by his collar.

"Do you have any idea what he's been through? He's just a kid Jackson! He overcame so much and now you've done this, you've done this to him!"

"I know Adam I'm sorry..."

"This better be worth it Jackson and you better want to be him after all of this!"

"Of course I do..."

"Not how it looks to me...if he..." Adam's voice cracked at the emotion he was feeling, his eyes burnt with heat as the tears surfaced. "If my best mate does anything stupid...again...because of this...I-I will never, ever! Forgive you"

Jackson frowned as Adam let loose of him. "Adam?"

"What? He didn't tell you!"

Jackson shook his head.

"Adam please! That's not important now!" Aaron called over, crouched down on the road.

Tom in another wave of anger kicked Aaron in the face. Chas let out a sob as she watched this. Jackson ran over and pushed Tom away from him, pushing him to the ground. "You're hurting him!"

"Good! He might know how I feel!" he shouted sadly and he got up. "I hope you are happy with him" he said bitterly and ran into the house, up the stairs to get a few things together.


	7. One Love

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"One Love"

This fanfic continues **immediately after **_Secret's Out_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron sat knelt down on the road, his head lowered as blood ran from his nose, burst lips and from his eyebrow. He sighed and his face strained as he continued to taste blood, he spat it out and rose to his feet slowly.

"Aaron I-I..." Jackson began, tears streaming down his face. He stepped closer.

"I need a minute" Aaron told him and walked past him walking towards the cricket pavilion.

"Oh no..." Chas shook her head and pushed herself away from Paddy's side and ran after him but Adam stopped her.

"Chas leave him..." he told her.

"But he's really hurt Adam"

Adam nodded. "Y-Yeah I know...he'll be alright...he needs to get his head together"

"What was he thinking!" she demanded then pointed at Jackson. "What the hell were you thinking?!" she yelled, angrily.

"We wanted each other Chas...I-I think I love him too"

At that moment Tom emerged from the house, all eyes turned to him. "I'm sorry for ruining the party"

"Oh love I'm so sorry" Chas apologised.

Tom smiled through his tears. "Not your fault Chas, keep in touch yeah?"

Chas nodded as Tom walked over to Jackson. He pulled the ring from his finger and took Jackson's hand and opened it up and placed the ring onto his palm and clenched his fist for him. He leaned in. "You didn't even give us a try Jackson...instead you jumped at the next person you saw...him...I can see why though...gorgeous, handsome, fit...I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you" he spat. "But I will be good enough for someone...oh and..." he began to whisper. "This isn't over" he turned and walked to his car.

Jackson watched him leave then looked at the ring in his clenched hand. He sighed and slipped it into his pocket. Nobody was speaking to him, he deserved it.

"Right come on everyone best you all get home, enjoy what's left of the night...we'll stay back and sort this" Paddy called out to all the guests and immediately they began to leave except from a few hesitant Dingles. "Are you sure Paddy? We can stay, help find him"

Paddy shook his head. "No it's alright, thanks Zak but best you just head off"

Zak nodded. "Alright, keep in touch; let us know he's okay"

Paddy nodded and watched them leave.

"Thanks Paddy" Chas said as she walked back to him.

"It's alright, just needs to be immediate friends and family at the minute..." he explained and Chas nodded in agreement.

...

Aaron sighed when he saw the headlights of a car from where he sat on the steps of the pavilion, he watched and saw someone climb over the fence from the road. He lowered his head he couldn't be bothered. "So this is where you came to hide" Tom's voice filled the silence. Aaron's eyed widened but he didn't look up.

"I love him Tom...at first it was lust...but then it changed..."

"When did it start?" he asked.

"The night he broke up with you in bar west, he came over with drinks...we got drunk, talked a bit...went back to his and we had sex"

"Shut up" Tom told him, but Aaron was going to be honest.

"We met up a few more times after that" Aaron let out a breath and carried on. "I told him to tell you Tom I did..."

"Shut it!" Tom said angrily now.

"...But somehow in between it all we got lost in each other, sex, amazing sex and in your bed, it was a mistake but it was only one time...not that, that makes a difference"

"Shut up!" Tom screamed.

"No! You have to know, I-I'm sorry for you I' am but I'm not sorry for what we did...the feelings I feel"

Tom raged and slammed his elbow into the side of Aaron's head causing it to hit off the railing beside him. Aaron's were closed. Tom jumped up. He had to get away. Run...and he did, he ran back to his car and sped off leaving Aaron there.

...

His eyes opened when his phone rang bringing him back to consciousness. He winced as he lifted away from the railing. He took out his phone and saw it was Jackson, he ignored the call but text him to tell him where he was.

Jackson was there in minutes, he'd run all the way to him, and sat beside him and he pulled him close, Aaron didn't argue though. "Aaron I don't know what to say" Jackson sobbed.

Aaron shrugged. "Tom came here, talked for a few minutes, he got angry and he hit me, I blacked out, I-I dunno how long for" Aaron frowned. "Got a banging headache and I feel sick"

"C-Come on let's get you to the hospital"

"No! I'm not going there!" he told him quickly.

"Ok, ok home then?"

"No, they'll just hammer me with questions and I-I'm a mess Jackson" he dropped his head in his hands and cried.

Jackson held him tighter. "I'm so, so sorry Aaron, it should be me in the state you are now, I'm so sorry"

Aaron shook his head. "It doesn't matter now...it's out...everyone knows...and I couldn't feel any worse..." he moved from his arms and stood, holding onto the railings as he got his bearings.

"Where are you going?" Jackson asked quietly, guilt overwhelming him.

"To yours if you still want me?" he replied with his own question as he started to walk.

Jackson got up and was quickly by his side, supporting him as he walked.

...

Chas paced in Paddy's living room, with a can of lager in her hand. "What was he thinking?"

"Does it really matter what he was thinking Chas? He must like him" Paddy replied.

"That's not the point Paddy, Jackson wasn't available"

"Aaron is single Chas"

"Are you being serious?" Chas spat.

"N-No...just Jackson was the one in a relationship not Aaron"

"And Jackson is an idiot, when I get my hands on him!" she raged.

"You'll do nothing!" Paddy raised his voice. "This is between the lads, Aaron and Jackson. Yes, they went about it all the wrong way, they didn't want to hurt Tom but they knew it would eventually...I know...messed up but we have to leave them to sort this out between them and Chas if they do get together then you will not do anything to mess it up"

Chas looked away, biting her tongue. "Alright, I won't...but where is he? He might be..." she couldn't bare the thought.

"He'll be fine Chas it was just a fight"

"Yes one that he chose not to fight back!"

Paddy sighed. "Because he knew he was in the wrong, will you stop pacing your making me dizzy!"

"S-Sorry" Chas apologised and sat beside him on the sofa.

"Listen, Jackson will have found Aaron by now and they'll be talking, he'll be looking after him"

...

Jackson walked down the stairs to Dale head and reached out for Aaron's hand. "I've run a bath for you...come on...let's get you cleaned up"

Aaron nodded, he didn't have the strength to argue, his body ached and his face stung like crazy. Grateful for Jackson's support as they walked back upstairs to the bathroom.

The hot air in the room was welcoming, Aaron began to remove his clothes, when he was naked he put one leg in and then the other and crouched down until he was sat in the water.

Jackson sat on the floor resting his chin on the side of the bath, looking up at Aaron's flared, cut and bloodied face.

Their eyes met. "What do we do now?"

"I still meant what I said, I want to be with you" Jackson told him honestly.

Aaron nodded as he began to sob, they caught his breath and his shoulders jerked up and down. "Me too" he smiled through the tears.

Jackson smiled at him; he reached into the water and held his hand. "I love you too" he said quietly.

Aaron cocked an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah why didn't you think I would?" he asked.

Aaron took a breath. "Because some of the time I didn't think this would happen...us being together...I thought maybe we were just fun and that you'd stay with him"

Jackson shook his head. "First time I saw you Aaron, everything changed...I-it was just fun at first" he nodded. "But yesterday...yesterday it went to a whole other level...love...you told me you felt it and I did too...and your ultimatum, it worked...I'd choose you any day"

They hadn't heard the footsteps coming up the stairs. Tom stopped at the entrance of the bathroom and quickly moved back. "Oh erm..." he frowned, pained to see the two of them together, sharing an intimate moment. Jackson and Aaron turned quickly to see him. "Just came to get the rest of my stuff"

Jackson nodded and looked back at Aaron, squeezing his hand. Aaron motioned his head in the direction of the door. "Go on, I'll be fine"

"Sure?"

"Yeah" Aaron told him and watched him leave then lowered himself down into the water, relaxing as best as he could as his shoulders and neck were immersed in the hot water. He listened to the conversation in the other room.

"Tom, I'm sorry" Jackson began.

Tom swung around and punched him hard in the face, knocking him back then Tom grabbed him by the neck and squeezed. "You should have just left me Jackson, would have hurt but not as much as this"

"I know..." he gasped.

"Then why didn't you?"

Jackson shrugged. "I don't know..." he struggled for air. "I was wrong"

Tom chuckled. "Damn right..." he let go and Jackson dropped to the floor, Tom couldn't resist the urge to kick. He kicked him hard and brutally. Jackson grunted and winced in pain at each impact. "I hate you so much!"

Aaron jumped at the noises and got out of the bath and he wrapped a towel around himself and moved to leave the room but he stopped suddenly.

"But..." he said through gritted teeth as he knelt down in front of him, still angry. "Seeing you two in the bathroom I erm...I kind of understand... we never had moments like that" he spat.

"No...Don't say you understand after what I've done"

"Why are you bothered? You've got him Jackson, don't worry about me now" he told him bitterly. "I've got the important stuff, the rest can just be binned..." he looked at Jackson as he stood. "Guess all the stuff you were moving in was mainly your stuff..."

Jackson nodded his tone empty of any emotion. "Yeah...well you always did have less stuff"

Tom nodded with his bags over his shoulders. "Have a good life Jackson"

Jackson looked at him awkwardly as Tom stepped closer to leave through the door.

"I will always love you...look after him Jackson, and never do what you did to me, to him"

Jackson shook his head. "I won't"

"Goodbye Jackson" he smiled as his tears fell. He left the room and stopped at the bathroom, looking in to see Aaron sitting up. "Look after each other Aaron, you won"

Aaron turned and nodded. "I'm sorry Tom"

Tom nodded. "Me too" he replied quietly and then he was gone.

...

A while later Aaron stood staring at himself in the mirror naked. Jackson walked up behind him holding a pristine white dressing gown and he placed it around him over his shoulders then wrapped his arms around his waist and looked into the mirror, into the blue eyes reflecting back at him. "You look loads better now and it's all over"

"Is it?" Aaron questioned.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, he's not coming back now; we're done with it...me and you now"

"Like you promised" Aaron commented. "Did he hurt you much?" he asked looking at the bruises beginning on his face.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, but it's nothing...I'm sorry you got hurt because of me"

"Forget about it, you know what ya can do for me though?"

"Anything" Jackson whispered as he kissed his neck softly.

"Get me some food in...Chinese preferably...should be open still" he smirked at him, his eyes bright considering.

Jackson chuckled. "Are you sure you'll be alright if I leave you for a while?"

"I'll be fine Jackson, just lock the door behind you..."

Jackson nodded. "I won't be long alright..." he said as Aaron turned in his arms and their lips met, softly. "I love you Jackson"

"I love you too" he headed downstairs and saw the buffet table and frowned. "Aaron, there's food down here..."

Aaron walked to the top of the stairs. "I'm not eating that he might have poisoned it" he said rather seriously.

Jackson let out a laugh and looked up at him. "With the guests?" he cocked an eyebrow and watched Aaron frown and shrug.

"Well I don't know do I but I'm not eating that, I want Chinese, so go get us some" he grinned.

Jackson laughed as he nodded and he left the house, locking the door behind him as requested.

...

The following morning Aaron woke up on Jackson's smooth toned chest. He smiled and lifted himself up onto his side and he just watched him sleep. He looked amazing, but the bruises had worsened since the night before. He was hurt, Aaron looked thoughtful and so was he, but if it meant them being together he didn't care.

Outside the cafe Aaron stopped by Jackson's side. "Oh I dunno..." he said looking worried.

Jackson let out a breath and grabbed his hand in his and lifted it up to kiss his hand. "You...We can do this Aaron...they don't like what we did, it's tough we can't change it now...it's done and we survived, I love you"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "Come on then before I change my mind" he said before taking steps to the cafe and walking in with his boyfriend.

TBC...


	8. A Force To Be Reckoned With

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"A Force To Be Reckoned With"

This fanfic continues **ONE WEEK after **_One Love_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron got up from the dining table and put his dirty cereal bowl in the dishwasher. Jackson watched the man he loved intently. He pouted as he thought. "You should really think about talking to your mum and Paddy you know" he began.

Aaron frowned. "Jackson...please not now...I can't face them...I don't want to hear what they have to say"

"Despite the fact you'll know what they'll say?" he asked with a smirk.

Aaron smirked. "Stop it!" he flung the t-towel at him. "Yes...I know what they'll say"

Jackson caught the towel and placed it down. "Well then what's the problem? You're prepared for them"

Aaron nodded. "Suppose...and I guess I should think about going back to Paddy's aswell"

Jackson frowned. "Why?"

"Cause you don't want me under your feet twenty four seven, and it might be too soon anyway...I dunno" he trailed off and shrugged his shoulders.

Jackson got up and placed his hands in Aaron's. "It might be fast but if it feels right then let's do it" Jackson smiled. "Do you wanna live here Aaron?"

Aaron blushed, and looked away shyly. A smile formed across his lips and he nodded. "Yeah...I don't wanna be away from you to be honest, the thought of even going to work kills me" he chuckled.

"That's settled..." Jackson smiled and hugged him. "It'll be alright you know with Paddy and your mum...they'll understand eventually" he whispered in his ear, sending shivers through Aaron's body.

Aaron looked him in the eyes. "I guess now I know what they'll say when I tell them I'm moving in here, so I'm prepared for that too" he grinned.

Jackson nodded. "Exactly...go on, might aswell get it over with" he kissed his forehead softly.

Aaron shifted his weight onto his other leg as he looked unsure.

"I'll be here when you get back Aaron...I'm not going anywhere...I'll never leave you"

Aaron smiled. "Do you mean that? Like really mean it?"

"Of course I do"

"I hope so" he smiled as he let go and headed to the front door.

"Hey..." Jackson called gently and Aaron turned back to him. "I know what we did was wrong but I need you to know I'd never do that to you...now I've found you I'm not letting go..."

His words melted him. Aaron didn't know what Jackson saw in him but he knew he was lucky, they were to have found each other despite the affair behind Tom's back following it all. He smiled, nodded then left through the front door. Taking a deep breath of cold fresh air, he frowned and prepared himself and he walked up the village to Smithy.

...

She got out of the taxi and was handed her suitcase by the driver. She paid the fare and walked up to the front door and knocked.

Jackson frowned and got up from the sofa and opened the door. He smiled. "Mum!" he exclaimed, but before he knew it he was regaining his balance after a hard slap to the side of his face.

Hazel stormed in, her suitcase in tow; she pushed Jackson into the living room. "In there. Now!"

...

Aaron sat at the dining table with Paddy in Smithy. "So...you're sure you want this? Moving in together?" Paddy asked.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah...I' am..."

Paddy nodded. "Alright...but I'm disappointed in you Aaron"

Aaron lowered his head.

"You knew he was involved with someone else, yet you, the both of you carried it on..."

"I know...I couldn't help myself, he's gorgeous, sexy...I know...it's weird for you but I'm being honest..."

Paddy nodded. "And I'm happy that you are but you could have both handled it so much better than you have, I know it would have broken Tom's heart either way because he genuinely did seem to love Jackson but stringing him along...well you got beaten up over it...more pain and heartache for all involved"

Aaron didn't reply, Paddy was aware Aaron knew all he was saying was true. "A-Are you happy Aaron?" he asked.

"Yeah...I'm happy but the way people are going on it's like I've committed genocide or something..." he rolled his eyes. "Well not quite but you know what I mean" he sighed. "I just fell for a bloke who was nice to me and it turned into love, everything else doesn't matter now"

Paddy nodded, he understood. "I just worry that if Jackson can do that to Tom..."

"No! Paddy! Me and Jackson have already had this discussion he won't and I believe him, I wish everybody would lay off him and give him a chance for fuck sake! He wasn't happy with Tom alright!" he breathed to control his frustration.

"Language Aaron! But you know what I'm going to say if he wasn't happy with him then leave him but he didn't and I can't keep saying that otherwise we'll just spend all day going round in circles, what's done is done, I don't approve but eventually we will all give Jackson a chance for your sake but until then we need time...want a hand with your stuff?"

"No" he spat and got off the chair and ran upstairs to gather his clothes and CD's, DVDs and other bits and pieces, he threw them into his holdall and walked back downstairs. Paddy was waiting at the bottom.

"You can't blame us for not approving Aaron"

"No when it comes to me you never do, always bickering, having an opinion of me...well I'm sick of it! You and me mam should get back together, start a 'we disapprove of Aaron club'!"

"Oh don't be so pathetic Aaron"

"No, it's true...and I'm sick of hearing it all, now I'm going down there to someone who actually is happy with me just being around, no opinions, no complaints, no whinging...just content and happy, see ya later" he grumbled and he stormed out and down the village.

...

"OF COURSE TOM PHONED ME!" Hazel yelled at Jackson as she paced in front of him as he was sat on the sofa. "He is in bits Jackson! And you left him for _that!_" she sneered angrily as she pointed at the photo on the mantel piece of who she assumed was the famous Aaron.

Jackson shot a glare at her. "Excuse me? What gives you the right to come here and judge him?! Me? What we've done!"

"Well for a start you're my son Jackson, and since Tom phoned me to tell me you weren't together no more and he wanted to stay in touch with me, I asked what happened, he told me! He's heartbroken, I had to come back to find out what the hell was happening. He's nothing compared to Tom!"

"Aaron is so much more!" Jackson stood defending his boyfriend. "You slag him off once more you can get out!" he warned. "Me and Tom were nothing! He was petty, obsessive, and jealous at any text, phone call I got...I'm well rid! There was no love there, I got bored, and found something - someone so much more exciting and I love him!" he said rather proudly.

Hazel began to laugh. "Love?"

"Yes. Love."

"Don't make me laugh! He looks like a thug!"

Despite his previous words he did his best to ignore her. "He isn't mum, give him a chance!"

Hazel saw the door opening and shook her head angrily. "Oh here he is"

Not concentrating on who was in the house. "Here's what?" he asked as he placed his bag down. "Why is everyone saying that to me latel-oh..."

"Yes. Oh" Hazel said sharply.

"Aaron this is Hazel my mum"

"I see...erm...I'm-" he was cut off.

"Oh I know full well who you are sunshine!"

"Should I just run for the hills now or am I safe to sit down at least and then listen to what you've got to say?" he said seriously.

"Any other situation I'd say run but" she sighed. "When my son makes his mind up there's no stopping him...so I'll let you sit down"

Aaron walked to the sofa and sat down, joined by Jackson straight away who held his hand.

"Oh this is cosy isn't it?"

"Mum, please" Jackson pleaded.

"Does this make you happy Aaron?" she asked.

"Yeah" he nodded. "It does"

"And what about Tom? Has he crossed your mind at all since you got comfortable in this house? You with my son for the money or what? What is it that makes you think its okay to ruin a relationship?"

"Mum!" Jackson yelled. "That's enough, calm it down or I mean it you can get out and it'll be the last time we speak!"

Hazel relaxed, and sat in the chair.

"Do you not think we've had all of this from his family?"

"I imagine you have" Hazel answered quietly.

"Tom...he erm" Aaron cleared his throat. "He has crossed my mind actually, a lot...the way we went about it was wrong, completely but I love your son Hazel, and yeah I'm living here now because Jackson asked me too and it's what I want and the money thing..." he pouted shaking his head. "I work, I make my own money...I'm not a scrounger...never will be either...there's more to your son than that. We're still learning, finding out about each other but what I've learned so far I adore...and if you can't realise that I'm being sincere right now...well... then there's no hope of us getting on, at all" he waited a few seconds to let his words sink in. "Jackson wasn't happy Hazel...I had my eye on him a while before we actually met I just saw him in the village occasionally cause he was working here...this house actually"

Hazel nodded. "Thought as much, has his touch..." she smiled warmly.

"Then we met properly in a bar after he'd had a fight with Tom...we got drunk, talked...then the obvious...it went on from there...like I said...could have done it better, but we're here now..."

"I-I know you liked Tom mum...and I'm sorry I' am...but you two can still stay in touch but me and Tom are done, it's me and Aaron now and I want you to try and get to know him like you have my other boyfriends"

Hazel didn't reply, but Jackson knew even that was progress, if she wasn't arguing back.

"I'm not perfect Hazel, I never will be, in fact I can be bloody horrible and nasty if I wanna be...but I'll never hurt Jackson"

Hazel nodded. "Alright..."

Aaron frowned. "What?"

"You're the first of his boyfriends to actually stand up to me"

A puzzled Aaron turned to Jackson. Jackson nodded with a smile.

"So...I kinda like you, it gains respect that does, what you've just told me...the bravery to stand up to me cause believe me sunshine I'm a force to be reckoned with when I'm on one"

Jackson just nodded with a smile.

...

An hour or so later after the awkward conversation had ended Hazel sat herself beside Aaron while Jackson busied himself making coffees in the kitchen. "So, how many boyfriends have you had then Aaron?"

"Erm...actually Jackson's my first..." he replied nervously. "I haven't been out long to be honest, with people anyway but I've been comfortable with myself longer...took some..." his eyes narrowed as he remembered a dark day. "...horrible times but I got there...then when I was fine, like I say...I told everyone else"

"And they're okay with it?"

"Yeah they are" he smiled. "Although I wouldn't have cared if they didn't"

Hazel chuckled. "Very fearless aren't you?"

Aaron scoffed. "Sometimes" he smiled.

Hazel leaned in closer and whispered. "I'm starting to like you but don't tell Jackson yet...just between me and you" she smirked.

"Why?" Aaron wondered.

"Because he needs to think I'm not easy to win over..."

"But he should know you are already, you're his mum surely he got away with a lot of stuff as a kid?"

"Yeah, he did...but still...just go with it..."

Aaron nodded, smirking as Jackson walked back in.

"I'd offer you the spare room but there isn't a bed in there yet"

"It's alright, the B&B up the road will be fine" she explained. "I'll have this coffee then I'll head up"

Jackson nodded, awkwardness filled the air again. "I'm sorry that I've let you down mum" Jackson said with his head lowered, not looking at either of them.

"Oh Jackson you haven't, you just made a big mistake, one you'll never do again I hope, cause this young lad seems to like you" she smiled.

Jackson looked up, locking his eyes onto Aaron's and he smiled. "I'd never do what I did to Tom to Aaron"

Aaron smiled.

"Good to hear" Hazel smiled and got up and walked over to hug him.

Aaron raised an eyebrow and he shook his head slightly. _That lasted long eh Hazel _he thought with a smirk as he watched mother and son.

TBC...


	9. The Holiday

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"The Holiday"

This fanfic continues **the next day after **_A Force To Be Reckoned With_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

With Hazel now in the village and from their conversations with her, Aaron and Jackson got the impression that she was sticking around. They didn't mind as long as she didn't intrude too much.

Now after a few weeks lying low, Aaron and Jackson stood hand in hand outside the pub. Jackson took a deep breath. "You ready?" he asked as he squeezed his hand.

"No but we've got too at some point" he forced a smile as he turned and looked into the dark chocolate pools of Jackson's eyes. His love for Jackson grew in, intensity every day.

Jackson smiled as he nodded and they both took their first steps towards the doors of the pub. Aaron's heart beat quickened and his breathing laboured slightly. Jackson could sense and feel how worried Aaron was, he didn't stop though and they carried on into the pub. "It'll be fine, I'm here" he told his boyfriend as they entered the busy bar.

The chatter and laughter of the villagers that they could hear outside now ceased slightly as all eyes were on them and a lot of people began hushed conversations obviously about them. Jackson ignored it and pulled Aaron over to the bar and were greeted by a smiling Diane. "Ignore them lads; got nothing better to do with their time other than gossip and have an opinion...what you did is none of their business, so long as you're happy"

Aaron frowned. "So you're not going to have your two pennies worth?"

Diane shook her head. "No, you'll have had that enough, and besides this is a pub...a business, I'm not one for turning down custom...so two pints is it?"

Jackson grinned and looked at his younger boyfriend. "Yeah, cheers Diane"

After getting their drinks Aaron and Jackson found a free table and sat down, hand in hand enjoying each other's company. "I think we should go away" Aaron blurted.

"Where'd that come from?" Jackson asked.

Aaron shrugged. "Just think we should, just me and you...let this lot have a chance to find something else to talk about and someone else to gawp at"

Jackson frowned, considering Aaron's request. "Do you think Cain will let you have time off?"

"He better, I do loads for him, the last time I had time off was...well..." he clammed up and looked away. "That doesn't matter he owes me so I think I could get a week or two out of him, however long do you think?"

"Hang on Aaron...we need to talk about that, after everything you've told me about you, and while I know you tried to do something you skip that, bypass it completely..."

Aaron sighed. "Alright but not here, later ok?"

Jackson nodded. "Two"

"Eh?" Aaron frowned back at him.

"Two weeks" he said with a grin. Aaron grinned back. "Can't wait, we can have a look online tonight"

Jackson simply nodded and watched as Carl King approached.

With his usual smug grin plastered across his face he sauntered over. "So I see you can add home wrecker to your many talents"

Aaron sighed as he downed his pint; the first one always went down well. "Do one Carl"

"Don't suppose Jackson knows the stint with my brakes does he?"

"Carl leave it"

Jackson looked between the two of them. He knew there was a history between them, a mutual loathing hate for each other. But he'd never witnessed it before, not until now. "What's he on about?" he asked sharply.

"It's nothing!" Aaron said through gritted teeth.

"Well you're boyfriend here not so long back decided to cut my brakes because he didn't like me being with his mum"

"Is he joking? You could have killed him..."

Aaron sat quietly not making eye contact with either of them.

"He failed to realise that I wasn't the only user of the car that day, Jimmy, Nicola – Angelica"

Aaron sighed. "And I said I'm sorry"

Jackson sighed too. "God sake Aaron..." he added quietly.

That did it; Aaron grabbed his empty glass and pushed Carl into the bar in front of him the glass firmly in his hand close to his neck, a warning, his anger in his face also a warning.

Carl laughed. "Go on then"

"Have you forgotten that how you and my mum got together this time around was the same way me and Jackson have! You can talk you're pathetic!"

"Get him out of here!" Diane shouted. "I'm not having that in my bar Aaron, move now!"

Aaron sighed and used Carl to push himself away from him, forcing him back against the bar with a hard push. Jackson was quickly at his side pushing his boyfriend out of the bar. "I'm sorry Diane"

Diane sighed but nodded. "And you! You never learn do ya! Either buy a drink or you can get out aswell Carl, can't be doing with this today!" she warned him and went about her business.

Outside Aaron stormed away from Jackson. "What the hell were you playing at?"

"Was gunna glass him" he replied sharply. He could feel Jackson was keeping his pace behind him.

"And that's the answer is it?"

"It is when it comes that dickhead!"

Jackson sighed. "Let's just get in the house"

...

After Jackson had realised going on about Carl to Aaron was getting them nowhere so he dropped it and took out his laptop and turned it on, and placed it down on the dining table.

He gestured over to Aaron; both of them were needed to choose where they were going to go. Aaron frowned. "Just like that?"

"You were stupid for what you did, what you intended to do that's all I'm saying on the matter now sit down and we'll have a look at some last minute deals, the quicker we do the sooner we can be out of here for a few weeks"

Aaron's shoulders relaxed and he nodded and walked to the table and sat beside Jackson.

A while later they were still looking. Both of them mutually agreeing on the country, destination and the look of the hotel and then separately pulling their noses at what lay before them on the laptop screen. It was safe to say that they needed somewhere to pop up as they searched soon otherwise they wouldn't agree on anything that night.

"Wait!" Aaron exclaimed. "There..." he pointed. "That one!"

Jackson frowned and looked closely. "Tenerife" he stated.

"Yes" Aaron nodded. "The hotel looks great, and it's right on the beach front!"

Jackson turned to his lover, he had seen the sparkle in his eyes before but this was different, they brightened completely and the smile on his face, well he loved it so much. Jackson turned back to the laptop screen with a smile and he checked over what facilities it had and the general information. "Situated on the beach front in between Los Cristianos and Las Americas..." he mumbled through as he read. "...attractive and exotic landscaping surrounded by a splendid swimming pool and sunbathing area..." Jackson now grinned and looked at Aaron. "Alright then let's do it, I'll give them a call, sort out a room, then we'll book flights separately"

Aaron couldn't contain his excitement and he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Jackson. "Thankyou...I'm gunna go see Cain...I won't be long"

Jackson nodded as he dialled the number as Aaron left. He waited for it to connect. "Yes, hi...I was wondering if you had any availability?" he replied to the foreign woman on the line, whose English was quite good.

_When would you like to book for?_

"Two days from now, twenty ninth for two weeks"

_Just one moment...yes we have several available rooms which would you like, there's the standard single, double, then the studio apartments_

Jackson grinned. "I'll take a studio please, with a balcony with a view if possible"

_Of course_

Moments later Jackson came off the phone. He let out a breath, smiling. They were going on holiday. Now he had to ring the clients who he was working for to let them know and that he would be around within the next few days to get the work completed.

...

"Holiday?" Cain asked.

Aaron simply nodded, smiling.

"Oh dad, stop being mardy, he's happy for god sake" Debbie interrupted.

"Yeahh, grumpy" Sarah felt she needed to have her say while she kept her eyes remained on some cartoon. It made Aaron chuckle but then stopped when his eyes met Cain's glare.

Cain grumbled. "Alright...two weeks from when"

"When I let you know, Jackson's organising it now" he explained as his phone beeped, he took it out and read the message from Jackson. He couldn't help but grin. "From Wednesday" he answered.

"Alright, might aswell take these next few days off aswell, suppose you need this"

Aaron looked thoughtful and nodded. "Yeah, thanks Cain I really do appreciate this"

"You better" he eventually smiled, and reached into his pocket and handed him in pay packet. "You forgot it earlier"

Aaron nodded. "Oh" he said as he took it. "Cheers"

Cain grabbed his wallet from the coffee table. "So this was unexpected, guess you won't have saved up"

"No, I do have a little bit but it's not worth even taking with me..." he sighed. "This will have to do" he smiled and held up the brown packet he'd taken seconds before.

Cain frowned and began speaking as he opened his wallet. "This doesn't go any further apart from Jackson obviously" he said as he flicked several noted through his fingers, counting them mentally.

Aaron frowned and nodded, he was trying to keep up his own mental count as he watched there were at least ten notes but he couldn't see what amount they were.

"This has nothing to do with your work either, your pay packets for that, this..." he handed over the fifty pound notes. "Is because you need a break and if I can help you and Jackson I will...so take it...I don't want it back..."

Aaron's mouth fell open. "I-I-I dunno what to say"

Sarah twisted on the sofa to look at Aaron with a grin. "Thank you silly" she giggled. Debbie rolled her eyes and smiled. What was she like?

Aaron laughed. "Yeah, yeah...thanks Cain, I- we really appreciate this" he smiled.

Cain smiled. "I know, go on then, have a good time and be safe"

Aaron nodded as he made his way over to the door. "We will"

Debbie and Sarah shouted their goodbyes to Aaron and he left. Sarah smiled and turned to her mum. "Can we go on holiday?"

"Ohh I dunno sweetie...we'll have to see about that..."

...

"Jackson Jackson!" he yelled as he stormed through the front door.

"Yes handsome" Jackson replied unfazed by his entrance as he sat watching TV.

Aaron leaned over the back of the sofa and placed the money in his lap.

"What the hell?" Jackson picked it up and sat up, looking at Aaron for answers.

"It's from Cain...he said that we needed a break and he'd do what he could to help..."

"Wow, I'm speechless..." he looked at the money and counted it. "Five hundred quid!" he breathed.

Aaron nodded. "I know!"

"Right, here's the deal...I've paid for the hotel and the flights, did them while you were out...so...we'll keep this and what I add to it for spending money"

"Jackson, y-you didn't have too..."

"I know but I know you struggle at the best of times, I'm in a better position than you so...and anyway I want to do this for you, for both of us...I love you...I mean it, I really, really do Aaron, you make my heart race every time we're together"

Aaron smiled and leaned in and kissed him. "I love you too, thankyou..."

Jackson smiled. "You gunna tell Paddy or your mum?" he asked.

He could see Aaron was thinking about it. "Nah, me and Paddy it's still sort of frosty between us and my mum...well she's not speaking to me"

Jackson nodded. "Alright...no problem...so we just pack and go basically" he smiled.

Aaron nodded. "And Cain's given me time off until we're back so, I can actually have a lie in with you!"

"Hmm, not gunna happen I rung around my clients and I told them I'd get all the work in progress done before I go away"

"Oh..." Aaron's tone went flat. "Good job there's just going to be me and you for two weeks and nothing, absolutely nothing to get in the way" he smiled.

"Exactly" Jackson smiled as the front door opened. Aaron grunted as he saw it was Hazel. He stood. "I'll get us a beer"

"Hello sunshine!" she beamed happily.

"Alright?"

Hazel nodded. "What you boys up to then?" she asked as she parked herself on the single sofa chair.

"Booked a holiday actually, two weeks, Tenerife"

Hazel was surprised. "Oh I see...bit quick innit?"

Jackson frowned. "Not really...don't go there mum...we're going..." he sighed, he didn't need or want her agro at the minute.

"No, No I wasn't love...I'm pleased for you both I' am and it means I can house sit" she grinned.

"'Scuse me?" Aaron asked as he re-entered the living room with two bottles of lager.

Hazel sighed. "Trouble is boys me and that Val don't really get on...I can't even understand her most of the time, all this wey aye man malarkey" she tutted to which Jackson and Aaron laughed.

"Mum" Jackson said while laughing. "Val is a Geordie but she doesn't go on like that"

"Well she might aswell have done the amount of sense she makes to me"

"I find them quite hot actually..." Aaron announced as he seemed to elsewhere. Jackson faked a cough to grab his attention. Aaron smirked. "What I do? The accent is...just...mmm" he grinned. "But I like yours too Jackson...plain-yorkshire-type..." Aaron looked weary as he spoke but there was a playful glint in his eyes. Hazel could see it.

"Do you want that bottle poured over you?"

Aaron shook his head. "Erm...No" he sat himself down out of reach of his boyfriend and smiled at Hazel.

"Course you can stay mum" Jackson told her with a smile.

Hazel smiled, she was grateful. "Thankyou, and when you're back I won't be in the way i promise...I'll get a bed for that spare room but until then the sofa's fine with me"

"You can't sleep on the sofa" Aaron told her.

"Oh believe me; I've slept on worst things on my travels"

Aaron grimaced. "Ok, stop there"

Hazel chuckled and Jackson nodded to her. "And besides he's going to need me if you bump into a Geordie over there..."

Aaron frowned and tutted at her words. "Okay I do love the accent but I'd never do that to Jackson..."

"No, I know you wouldn't love" she smiled. "Just teasing"

Aaron smiled and settled onto the sofa beside Jackson, their eyes locking in an instant. Jackson knew he didn't mean anything by his remark, it was just playful banter.

...

Well into the night Aaron lay on top of Jackson, their naked bodies touching, Aaron held his cock and thrust it slowly into Jackson's eager hole. "I love your voice Jackson" Aaron whispered. "Talk to me while I fuck your brains out..." he whispered again as he lowered his head to his neck and kissed him softly, then biting as he began to pick up pace and thrust harder, deeper and faster into him, the man he loved.

Jackson's voice, the words he was whispering caused an almighty eruption from his cock minutes later, his cum in thick spurts shot out from the slit filling Jackson generously. Aaron lay on top of Jackson's sweat covered body, and he got his breath back. "You turn me on so much" Aaron whispered before he softly kissed his firm smooth chest. Before he realised what was happening Jackson flung him round so he was on his back.

Aaron winked.

"My turn..." Jackson told him.

"I was hoping you would...been gagging for you all day..." he bit his lip and waited, waited for the familiar painful intrusion into him, but the pain soon subsided followed by pure pleasure, pleasure that would last long into the night, until both men fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

TBC...


	10. Shouldn't Be Looking

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Shouldn't Be Looking"

This fanfic continues **a few days after **_The Holiday_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron lay on top of Jackson, both lads hot and sweaty and panting getting their breaths back. Aaron grinned up at Jackson and playfully slapped him on the side of his chest. "We've been here for a few hours and we haven't even left the room" he chuckled.

"Yeah well, you look irresistible and we were stuck on a plane for four hours, almost seven if you add the time of waiting in the airports" Jackson smirked. "I wanted ya..."

"Well you certainly showed that..."

"So did you, just now..."

Aaron smiled and placed his lips on Jackson's passionately. "Mmm..." he mumbled with a smile when they parted Aaron lay beside him. "Suppose we should get up...get these tans started eh?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah...food first though?"

"Yeah" Aaron nodded. "Why not?" he smiled as he sat up

Aaron walked bare naked across the bedroom and picked each item of clothing up one by one. "I can feel your eyes" he said as he pulled on his boxers then turned to face Jackson, who was lying in bed with a smirk.

"Can you blame me?" he asked.

"Hmm, suppose not, right you, up come on...you wanted something to eat and actually so I do, so move otherwise I'll go down there without ya" he stuck his tongue out as he pulled on his shorts.

...

They were halfway through their meals, enjoying conversation and the sun beating down on them, the sound of people playing in the pool and the splash of water around them. "What do you feel like doing after we've had this?" Jackson asked.

"Could go for a walk along the beach?" Aaron suggested.

"You, a walk?" Jackson asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yeah, I walk Clyde don't I? And anyway it's nicer here, it's red hot..."

"Alright then"

Aaron smiled and returned his attention to his meal but looked up at Jackson, and watched as he looked at a guy walk by in just shorts. Aaron frowned when his eyes remained on the man for a few seconds. Aaron could see he was fit and attractive but it bothered him that Jackson was looking at the man and not him. "Fancy a bit of that do ya?" Aaron asked as he looked away briefly then back at Jackson.

Jackson frowned. "No chance" he smirked. "Got everything I want right in front of me"

"Is that right?"

His frown deepened. "Yeah course, why?"

"Nah, nothing you just sat gawping at him that's all" Aaron pulled out his wallet and placed enough money down to cover the bill. He stood up. "Going to get a lounger..." his tone was a bit disheartened as he spoke and left Jackson to finish his meal.

Only a few minutes had passed and Aaron had placed both of their towels on two spare beds and moved them side by side. As he walked to get drinks, he glanced over at Jackson who was still eating; the scowl on Aaron's face said it all. Aaron placed their drinks down with quite a clatter, and then he lay on his bed, closed his eyes and basked in the red hot rays of the sun.

The brightness of the sun behind his closed eyes lessened when he heard someone stop in front of him, he couldn't be bothered to talk at the moment, it would have turned to an argument and he didn't want that. The brightness returned to normal when Jackson sat on his bed.

Aaron's thoughts turned back to the questions and doubts that they had had about the pair of them being together '_what if Jackson does the same to you?' _Aaron couldn't even think about that, despite the fact it was at the fore front of his mind.

Jackson took a sip of the cold lager that Aaron had bought him. He frowned, he was in the wrong he knew that. The saying you can look but you can't touch Jackson had always agreed with but he knew being with Aaron it couldn't be like that, he'd forgotten that for a while, but he did genuinely mean what he'd said to him, he had everything he wanted with Aaron. He sighed before he decided he'd start speaking but he was stopped by the text tone on Aaron's phone.

Aaron sighed and opened his eyes and reached down and picked up his phone that was tucked into one of his flip flops, he narrowed his eyes to read the message on his phone, he let out a deep groan.

"What is it?" Jackson asked quietly.

"My fucking mam! She hasn't spoken to me in weeks but now, she texts saying where the hell are ya? Like she cares!" he spat angrily.

"Just reply then turn your phone off"

"Yeah I will" he replied quickly and sat up and took a picture of the pool, making sure he got the palm tree in the distance on the picture, he hit send, waited for it to go through then turned his phone off. He lay back down with a sigh.

"Aaron..." Jackson began quietly.

"Just leave it Jackson I don't want to argue"

"No, no we won't I promise I just don't want the next two weeks to be like this..." he stopped and waited for any kind of response, when there was none he took it as confirmation to continue. "I was very insensitive before and I never meant anything by it, you are gorgeous and what's beginning with me and you I don't want to end...you fascinate me Aaron"

Aaron frowned and looked up at him. "I'm a gay mechanic and I live in a tiny village in Yorkshire" he raised an eyebrow in contradiction to Jackson's words.

"Yeah so, it's not all about that, I meant you Aaron...you do...and I love you and I meant what I said earlier you're everything I want"

A smile formed across Aaron's lips and he nodded. "Alright, I believe you, it's just with what people were saying back home, and then I saw you looking at him, I thought what they were saying was true but...I do believe you I over-reacted, and I'm sorry Jackson"

Jackson smiled and leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you" he said quietly. Aaron was left smiling now too. "I love you too"

Both men relaxed back on their beds and sunbathed. Aaron frowned he looked around they were in a quieter area, he took a deep breath. "Jackson...I um...I tried to kill myself..." he told him quietly, his eyes averted Jackson's; he didn't want to see the disappointment in another loved one's eyes.

"Okay..." he frowned. "I had a feeling something had happened in the past, I just couldn't think what...this is what you've been shying away from telling me isn't it?"

Aaron simply nodded.

"What did you do?"

"I locked myself in the garage, put some sheets on the floor in front of the doors" he let out a deep breath. "Got in a car, and turned the engine on..."

Jackson got up quickly and sat on the edge of Aaron's bed and took his hand and gripped tightly. "Why?"

"Cause I'm gay" he nodded. "I'm alright now obviously, never been so confident about it before, was only within the last few months that I sorted myself" he flashed a smile. "But at the time I was in a horrible, dark place...I hated myself and I just wanted it to end, so...I tried..." he swallowed hard and frowned as emotions rose to the surface. "Adam saved me...I'm sorry I should have told you way before now"

"You should have but I understand stuff..." he cleared his throat and looked into Aaron's eyes. "Stuff like that takes time it's only until you're comfortable with someone"

Aaron smirked. "Yeah...yeah I' am I'm just worried you'll think differently of me now..." he shrugged.

"No" Jackson shook his head. "Not at all just don't try anything like that again ever, ever again"

"I won't, I promise...I feel like I've got something to live for now, a reason to wake up..." he smiled at Jackson. "Come on...let's go for that walk"

Jackson stood up with a smile and held out his hand. Aaron grinned and took it and was instantly pulled up by Jackson and was taken into his arms immediately feeling the muscled arms around him he sighed content. "Thankyou for being you...let's start this holiday, no phones now I promise just me and you" he smiled.

Jackson nodded in agreement. "Come on then" both lads then grabbed their gear and headed to the secure gate by the poolside and left the hotel, walked across the promenade and onto the beach to begin their hopefully romantic walk together.

TBC...


	11. Contradiction

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Contradiction"

This fanfic continues **on immediately after **_Shouldn't Be Looking_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron sighed completely content with Jackson and the environment they were both in. "This is great isn't it? Proper blue sea, red hot sun...great beach..." Aaron smiled as they walked along the beach with their flip flops in hand, the water lapping at their feet.

Jackson smiled back at him. "Yeah, it is and I'm glad it's just us"

Aaron nodded then heard commotion of roaring of engines, shouting and laughter. Jackson watched his eyes widen and a grin spread across his lips. Jackson chuckled. "What?"

"I'm having a go of one of those!" he grinned and pulled Jackson along the beach to the wooden walk way taking them to the jet ski hire area.

Jackson frowned as he was being pulled by Aaron. "No way am I going on one of them! I'll watch from the safety of the boardwalk thankyou very much"

Aaron frowned and sighed. "Spoil sport!"

Jackson chuckled. "Go on then...and be careful will ya! Those things make my nerves bad and you aren't the safest person are ya!"

"Ha! No I'm not but I'll try anyway" he smirked and planted a quick kiss on Jackson's lips before letting go of his hand and walking up to join the small queue that were waiting. He eyed a dodger blue jet ski with flames along the side of it. He pouted slightly, clearly impressed; he wanted it.

...

Back in dreary old England Chas was sat in Debbie's holding a red hot steaming mug of coffee in both hands while the rain pelted down outside. "So has he text yet then?" Debbie asked before taking a sip of her own.

Chas shook her head with a sigh. "Nope"

"Well to be fair Chas you have ignored him the past few weeks..."

"Yes" she snapped. "I know but what he did was wrong Debbie" she spoke in a whining tone. "He knew Jackson was involved but still what does he do?"

Debbie sighed. "He must like him"

"But it's his first relationship" she then scoffed. "Well if you can even call it that"

Debbie sighed. "See that's why he's..." she stopped herself. "That's the attitude that he doesn't need right now, it's your support he needs not negativity"

Chas was watching carefully having already caught on what she was saying but then quickly stopped herself, she was about to question it but stopped when her phone beeped. She reached down to her handbag that was down on the floor at the side of the sofa. She took her phone. "It's Aaron..." she told her as she pressed open. It took a few seconds for the picture to load. Chas was not impressed. "God that kid!" she said angrily. "No text just this" she then showed the image to Debbie and she looked wary.

"Um...yeah...the holiday he erm..."

"You knew!"

Sarah looked up from her toys on the floor in front of them both and nodded. "Grumpy said it was ok and give him some money"

Chas frowned instantly. "Excuse me" she turned to Debbie.

"He and Jackson organised it, Dad wants him to be happy so he gave them a bit of a help, you know what Aaron's like he doesn't save, if he has I doubt it's anything about twenty quid" she sighed.

"You should have told me Debbie"

"Why? So you can keep him here and push them apart"

"I'd never do that"

"No, okay maybe not but they needed to get away from here Chas, everyone is making it clear they don't approve and it's tough to be honest...they like each other, how they did it was wrong I'm not disputing that, oh yeah and Carl...one of these days your son and boyfriend are going to come to blows and one or both of them will be seriously hurt, tell him to back off"

"Why you so protective of Aaron?"

"I always have been, yeah he's not the easiest person to get on with but he's one of us so..."

Chas sighed and turned back to her steaming cup of coffee. "I liked Tom that's all, and I'm angry at him and Carl did tell me about what happened in the pub"

"Well do something about it and as for Tom well you can keep in touch"

Chas nodded and sighed. "What am I going to do with him eh kid?"

"Let him get on with his own life and let him make his own mistakes, you weren't around much all those years back, he's a teenager, it doesn't mean you can wrap him up in cotton wool now. Those days are long gone and he wouldn't thank you in the end"

Chas nodded and took a sip of her drink.

...

Aaron had never felt this feeling in quite a while – freedom. He breathed in the salt air as he sped along the water, the jet bopping up and down as it battled the tides as he moved against it. He was a bit wet by his legs but that was to be expected. He had a permanent grin on his face. He was far away from any other skiers. He spun the ski around and moved ahead as if going back inland but he stopped and swerved around again heading back out.

Jackson laughed quietly to himself as he watched his boyfriend practically messing around.

Aaron sped as full speed along the water, he really wanted to go past the boundary markers that were placed but he knew that if he did that he would be in trouble and he didn't want that.

His time was coming to end rather too quickly. He sighed to himself then smiled one last quick burst back to the boardwalk he decided and off he went. Aaron's concentration was on the water and area directly in front of him; he was at top speed but lowered it as he was getting closer to the boardwalk. He almost came to a stop but fired it up again and just gently trundled along enjoying being out in the water alone.

Aaron heard nothing until it was too late, another jet-ski rammed into the back of his and the force of the impact pushed Aaron out of the seat, and off the water craft completely, his body smacked against the edge of some rocks that were protruding out of the water near the side of the bay.

Jackson was stood looking around when he heard the crash, he looked up and frowned, he watched Aaron being forced off the ski; he couldn't see the rocks however. "Oh jesus" he muttered and ran to the hire desk. "That's my boyfriend out there!"

"Please sir do not panic we've got our men out there to retrieve him and the other driver of the other ski"

"What!" Jackson spat. "I don't get about him or her, they just rammed into him they were going too fast!"

In the background a voice came over a tannoy system. "TO ALL SKI DRIVERS...PLEASE COME TO A HALT AND REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE, THERE HAS BEEN AN ACCIDENT, I REPEAT THERE HAS BEEN AN ACCIDENT"

Jackson heart pounded in his chest, he began to shake. "S-Surely they were breaking some kind of rule being so far into the bay..."

The woman sighed. "If they were speeding sir, my colleagues will find that out and the appropriate fine will be issued"

Jackson nodded. "Just get him out...please" tears fell from his eyes as he begged.

...

A dinghy slowed down as it approached Aaron lying face down in the water. He was lifted to safety, his lifejacket had been torn from the rocks, he had a deep cut on his forehead, hands and a graze on one of his cheeks, and he was unconscious but still alive. One of the trained first aiders performed CPR on Aaron as the boat returned to the boardwalk.

The woman Jackson had spoken too moments earlier led him to the end of the walk where the dinghy had stopped. Jackson silently cried as he watched CPR being performed on Aaron, and then a rush of relief flooded his body as Aaron came around spluttering water out from his lungs. The loud deep breath Aaron took was an urgent and panicked one.

Aaron didn't know where he was, what was happening. As he took in the much needed air he sat up his arms waving around in the panic that he couldn't get the air he needed. His body eased when he had, the firm grip on his shoulders helped too. He looked into the eyes of an olive skinned man, obviously naked to this country.

"You were hit by another skier, I must apologise we don't have accidents here..."

Aaron nodded. "I-I wasn't going fast..." he winced from the pain he felt throughout his body.

"I know, my colleague saw you coming back at a slower speed than you were further out" he smirked.

"It was fun" he chuckled but hugged himself when he did, a frown deepened, he must have hurt his chest but he couldn't see because of the life-jacket.

"It always is...at least some people follow the rules..."

Aaron nodded. "Would be the first time I did...W-What's your name?"

"Ramiro" he told him with a smile.

Aaron nodded. "Aaron...thankyou..."

Ramiro smiled. "You're welcome...just doing my job. Do you think you can walk?"

Aaron nodded after a few seconds. "I think so"

Ramiro nodded and slowly stood and placed one foot on the boardwalk and held out his hand to Aaron. "Just take it slow...are you with someone?"

Aaron began to stand and he reached out for his hand. "Yeah, my boyfriend, h-he was watching"

"It's alright Aaron, I'm here...just take your time..." Jackson's voice was what Aaron needed.

He looked up at him and smiled.

Jackson wiped his tears away quickly. _Jesus...the state of him _he thought. It would be okay though, Jackson was there, and he'd take care of him.

Aaron reached the top of the stairs and fell into Jackson's arms. Jackson held him tightly and shook Ramiro's hand.

Ramiro smiled. "The paramedics will be on their way, we couldn't possibly allow him to leave without being checked over in more detail but he'll alright..."

Jackson nodded. "What about the ski?"

Ramiro frowned. "It wasn't Aaron's fault, the costs will be provided from elsewhere" he motioned his head to a young lad probably no older than Aaron, being spoken too rather harshly by the owners of the ski hire business.

Jackson nodded. "I see, we'll just get away from the queue and wait for the ambulance"

"As you wish"

Jackson led Aaron away and passed the queue both receiving looks of concern and muttered chatter, their general curiosity of what had happened and words of worry for him that they hoped he would be okay. Jackson frowned, why they were still in that queue was beyond him.

Moments later Jackson sat Aaron down on the sand by the boardwalk. "You scared me to death"

Aaron frowned. "I'm sorry, I-I ruin everything don't I?"

"Shh, hey...No...no you don't alright, accidents happen you weren't in the wrong"

Aaron nodded with a sigh.

"I'm gunna get this off you alright?" he told him as he reached for the clippers that held the life jacket around him. Once unclipped he gently pulled it from Aaron's arms one by one, then dropped it to his side. His chest had some scratches where the rocks had ripped through the jacket but it didn't look too bad, he'd probably bruise overnight but there was nothing neither of them could do about them.

"How are you feeling?" Jackson asked softly.

"Sore...banging headache, tired"

"Okay but you have to stay awake for me babe"

"I-I will..." Aaron sighed. "Shouldn't have went on the damn thing!"

"Stop beating yourself up about it Aaron, the grin and sparkle in your eyes was priceless...you looked really happy out there, like a kid in fact"

Aaron chuckled. "Yeah...yeah I was"

"Well then, stop it...it was fun it just ended badly that's all, just bare in mind it could have ended tragically, cause those types of accidents can be lethal..."

Aaron nodded and looked into Jackson's eyes and smiled.

"Should that still be seeping blood?" he asked as he focussed on the deep cut on his forehead.

"Its deep babe, it will eventually"

"Not good enough, where the hell are they!" Jackson's frustration was building.

"Just give them time Jackson, please relax I'm alive and I'm okay...I don't need you panicking, I love you just relax" Aaron told him.

"But you're not okay"

"How's he doing?" Ramiro asked as he approached.

"Sore and a bit of a headache"

"Not surprised, the fall you sustained"

Aaron nodded as he heard sirens in the distance suddenly stop. He turned and saw an ambulance on the promenade. "I'll explain what happened, it's doubtful they can speak English just give me a minute"

Jackson nodded and watched him to go to meet the paramedics to explain the accident and Aaron's injuries.

...

Hours later the day had gave way to the night as Aaron and Jackson left the hospital. "I rang my mum Aaron just to let her know, she said she wouldn't tell Chas unless you wanted her to know"

Aaron frowned and shook his head. "No chance would just be another thing for her to pick at me for" he said as he began to scratch around the square bandage over his cut on his forehead.

"Will you stop-"

"It itches Jackson!" Aaron replied with sharpness in his tone. "Oh...babe I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...I dunno, I'm sorry anyway" he gave up, he was too exhaustion from the drama of the day and the medication they had given him.

Jackson ran his thumb over the back of Aaron's hand. "No, I know you are, don't worry, it's been a long day, and you'll be sore"

Aaron nodded.

"Let's just get back and we'll get something to eat and go back to the room, relax for a bit then we'll go to bed, and I'll hold you in my arms" Jackson said smiling. "I'll look after you"

"So soppy aren't ya?" Aaron asked with a smirk.

"You love it" Jackson stated.

"Yeah, good job I do aswell...god I'm sore and I'm aching" he complained and put on a sad face just for Jackson's benefit.

He couldn't help but smile. "Good job we're nearly back then"

Aaron nodded with a smile. Moments later they reached the corner of the promenade in front of the beach and walked up the gentle slope to the entrance of the hotel complex. Upon walking through the voice couldn't be mistaken. Jackson sighed.

"I said to myself I said Hazel...has my Jackson found himself an adrenaline junkie..." she smirked and walked over to them both. "God look at the state of you"

Aaron nodded and he couldn't help but smile. "Hi Hazel"

"Mum, what are you doing here?" Jackson asked.

"Well the tone and panic in your voice was enough love...don't worry I haven't told anyone...and the house is fine, all locked up"

Jackson frowned but gave him. "Oh right well erm...I'm glad you're here"

Hazel smiled.

"Me too, but can we carry this on in the room please cause I-"

Hazel cut him off. "Ohh of course love I'm sorry...standing here gabbing like that..." she sighed and motioned for them to lead the way, she followed with her suitcase in tow.

...

Once Aaron was laid on the sofa he was able to relax. He closed his eyes and tried to listen to the hushed conversation between mother and son.

"So, the ski crashed into Aaron's?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, sent him flying, landed on the side of some rocks, they found him lying face down...I've already told you this..."

"Yeah but the connection wasn't that good..."

"Oh right well yeah they had to give CPR...he came around spluttering and panicked...the first aider was great though, sorted the ambulance and explained what had happened"

Hazel nodded as she listened.

"We were in that hospital nearly six hours, waiting then the scans, then more waiting" he sighed. "I've never been more worried ever" he rubbed his eyes.

"I'm here now" she told him. "I won't crowd you both I have a room along the corridor so if you need anything just come and get me alright, you just sounded like you needed me that's all"

Jackson nodded as he let out a sob and lowered his head in an attempt to hide his tears.

Hazel reached out and placed her hand on his cheek and lifted his head slightly. "It's alright son" she soothed.

"I-I could have lost him" he sobbed some more.

"But you didn't"

Both Hazel and Jackson turned to see Aaron stood behind them smiling slightly.

"You should be resting"

"I couldn't rest when I can here you getting all upset, come here" Aaron said then held out his arms.

Hazel smiled. "I'll go and get us some food eh? Burgers?"

Jackson held Aaron gently as Aaron nodded to Hazel for them both. Both lads looked up into each other's eyes once Hazel had left. Aaron placed a very passionate steamy kiss on Jackson's lips. "I'm still here" he whispered. "Not going anywhere" he smiled

Jackson smiled back at him and nodded. "Just scared me that's all"

Aaron led Jackson out onto their large balcony "I know I did, that will be my first and last time on a jet ski" he grinned but both lads began laughing as they settled back into a lounger each.

TBC...


	12. The Power Of Love

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"The Power Of Love"

This fanfic continues **on the next day after **_Contradiction_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron woke up and winced immediately, he felt stiff as a board and he struggled to lift himself up onto his elbows. The bright hot morning sun shone through the window in the bedroom. There wasn't a chance he was spending it resting. He turned and looked down at his gorgeous sleeping boyfriend, a smile formed across his lips. He loved him so much, the feeling was immense. He swung his legs around off the bed and stood up slowly and walked across the bedroom. The cold of the floor tiles under his feet was a distraction to the aching and pain he was feeling. As he walked through the small corridor to the living and kitchen area he caught sight of himself in the mirror on the wall, the bruises were showing up now across his torso and on the side of his stomach aswell as on his forehead and around his hands and cheeks a little where they had been cut to from his fall. Aaron turned on the TV and he let the local news play in the background; he pulled a face, he had no idea why he turned it on, he didn't understand a word anyway. He opened the sliding balcony doors and immediately felt the hot humid air hit his skin, a stark contrast to the cool air conditioned air that was circulating in the studio.

Jackson wandered out from the bedroom practically naked, only covered by his boxers. He rubbed his eyes and frowned at the TV, a previously recorded interview was being played with a narrator speaking in Spanish as the person being interviewed was English. Jackson looked closely, it didn't take him long to realise it was about the accident involving Aaron the previous day. He sighed and shook his head, that man did that to his Aaron. He looked disgusted at the TV but then looked closely; his heart felt like it was rising to his throat. Jackson would have only known who the man was, even with a beard. Aaron wouldn't have. Not that he saw the ski coming toward him. He reached for the remote quickly and turned the TV off. He saw Aaron standing at the edge of the balcony looking out.

Aaron looked down at the pool and the kids playing and messing around then to their parents lounging around on their sun loungers. He smiled. That's what he intended on doing all day, sunbathing and getting wet. He chuckled to himself, this was meant to be a holiday but already he had suffered an accident albeit not his fault – for once. Seconds later cool strong arms found their way around his waist and Aaron smiled, pleasantly surprised and he rested back into Jackson's chest and just relaxed.

"You should be resting" Jackson told him.

"Babe, this weather is out of this world, if you think I'm staying in there all day you're mistaken" he told him as he looked up at his boyfriend with a cheeky smile.

"Alright, but be careful and I'm not leaving your side"

Aaron nodded. "Good and I will, come on let's get our towels, sun cream and get down to the bar and have some breakfast"

Jackson nodded. "Sounds good" he grinned and kissed Aaron passionately. They parted with smiles and moved to get themselves ready for the day ahead.

...

An hour later after grabbing something to eat they were now lying on their sun beds with a small table in between the two with their lagers on it within reach for both of them to grab when they wanted a drink. Aaron had received several looks from other hotel guests but nothing major enough to make him hide away. He could tell they looked genuinely concerned and news of the accident had spread and they knew it was a tourist who was involved it wouldn't have taken them long to realise it was him.

Jackson turned to Aaron, his eyes slowly toured every inch of his body, he bit his lip unknowingly even with his wounds his man was still hot, in fact Jackson was certain he was getting more and more attractive each day. He sighed happily and turned away again and closed his eyes and sunbathed.

The noise of the kids playing around, the splashing of water, chatter and music in the background seemed to quieten as Jackson relaxed; it was as if the noise was blocked slightly by the heat in the air. Jackson frowned mentally. _Yeah like that makes sense_ he thought.

Aaron came around from his doze and he looked around, he instantly heard Hazel on the other side of the pool sitting on a lounger. He chuckled to himself when she saw what must have been her flirting with a waiter. He rolled his eyes and looked over to Jackson. "You're mum's such a flirt, look at her leaning over to him like that"

Jackson opened his eyes and scanned around and saw his mum. "Oh my god! You think I'd be used to it by now!" he laughed.

"Yeah well she isn't so bad, especially not after she came all this way for a thug like me" he smirked.

"Eh? She told you she said that about you?"

Aaron laughed. "Yeah she did, didn't really bother me"

"She worries a lot and plus it gives her a reason to have a holiday too"

Both men watched her as they spoke. "I'm glad she's here" Aaron said with a nod.

Jackson smiled.

Aaron shifted on the bed and stood up. "Going for a dip"

"Careful with the bandage on your head!" he reminded him gently.

Aaron sighed. "I will, and if it comes off I'll get a new one on"

Jackson rolled his eyes and watched him go.

The water was refreshingly cool on his feet, he walked in further but it was just pure torture. He had to get it over with quickly so he dunked himself under and swam under the water for several metres and popped up at the other side of the pool, he looked back at Jackson and smiled widely and gave him a wink. Jackson returned it with a smirk. Aaron turned away again and swam over to where Hazel's bed was.

He popped up unexpectedly and Hazel jumped. "Bloody hell Aaron!" she sighed and placed her hand on her chest in exaggeration.

Aaron grinned at her. "Alright?"

Hazel then nodded at him with a smile. "I' am darling are you?"

"Bit sore, stiff..." he shrugged.

"And I'm guessing you've already suffered the rest argument?" she questioned.

"Oh yes" he chuckled.

"Fair enough, I won't then"

"Cheers, listen erm Hazel...thanks for being here, you didn't have too but I'm glad you are" he spoke from the heart.

"You're welcome love, just here on the sidelines in case you both need me, this is still your holiday so just carry on as normal" she told him.

"Y-Yeah I know and we will but not tonight, tonight I want you to come out for a meal with us"

Hazel frowned. "Does Jackson know?"

Aaron shook his head. "No, was my idea..."

"Aww you're so thoughtful sometimes aren't ya?"

Aaron laughed. "Yeah, make the most of it cause sometimes, is actually a rarity"

"I bet" she nodded.

"Right well, we'll be at your room for say seven?"

"Sounds perfect" she smiled.

"See you tonight then" he smiled and pushed himself away from the edge but kicked his legs splashing Hazel on purpose as he swam away, he caught her expression as the cool water splashed her and he laughed loudly as he swam back to Jackson.

Hazel watched Aaron go shaking her head as she did, but a small smile curled on her lips.

...

Aaron walked out of the pool back to Jackson. Jackson took in a deep breath and casually covered his shorts with his hands but tried to not make it obvious. When Aaron was closer he spoke. "You're such a cock tease"

Aaron frowned. "Eh?" he let out a laugh.

"You just sauntering out of the water, dripping wet...god yes please..." he smiled.

"Later" Aaron winked as he lay back on the sun bed.

"I look forward to it"

"...after we've taken your mum for a meal" he finished.

"Oh...right...when was this decided?"

"When I was swimming..." Aaron sighed and looked over at him. "I just thought that she dropped everything to come here for you – me and she's prepared to back off to let us still have _our _holiday so I think it's only fair we acknowledge that and be grateful, a meal isn't much but..." he shrugged. "She seemed overwhelmed"

"You surprise me, you really do" Jackson lay grinning at him. "It's because it was you who suggested it and to be honest I'm overwhelmed a bit, I think what you've just done is brilliant, lovely...like I say you surprise me more every day"

Aaron smiled back at him as a familiar man walked over; as he got closer Aaron smiled. "Hi"

"Hey" Ramiro said with a smile and Aaron sat up on the bed and nodded for him to sit down. He did so gratefully. "So, I just thought I'd come by and see how you are today"

Aaron nodded. "Sore, stiff...you know"

Ramiro nodded as Jackson got up. "Sorry, excuse me a minute, just need to speak to my mum"

Aaron nodded with a smile and watched him go and he and Ramiro carried on their conversation.

Jackson walked over to Hazel rather urgently.

"Oh hiya love" she greeted.

"hey" he smiled and sat on the spare bed beside her. "I-I need a word mum..."

"Oh sounds ominous..."

"Yeah well..." his words trailed off with a sigh.

"I know that look...what's wrong Jackson?"

"Have you seen the news?"

Hazel nodded. "Yeah, I had it on in the background earlier, think they were on about his accident yesterday; they were interviewing the guy who hit him"

"Accident!" he scoffed. Hazel frowned at her son and waited. "So...did you not notice anything familiar with the guy?" he asked.

Hazel pulled up her nose in confusion. "Should I have?"

Jackson sighed.

"Stop speaking in riddles Jackson just spit it out! God men, seriously..."

"It was Tom, Mum..." he told her quietly.

"No it wasn't! He's back home and he has no idea you're here, both of you..."

"But I'm telling you it was him, he looked different...he had a beard and sunglasses on but I've seen him like that before, I was with him for years for god sake" he sighed, clearly frustrated and it showed.

Hazel reached over and held his hand, instantly knowing he was shaking she squeezed tightly in an attempt to stop it. "Alright, I believe you" Hazel nodded. "What are you going to do?"

Jackson shrugged. "I'll carry on with our holiday, but if I see him around I'll be having words, if I don't well then it can wait till we're home, and Aaron doesn't know and I'd rather it was kept that way"

Hazel nodded. "A problem halved is a problem shared" she mused then sighed.

"He's not the nice person you seem to think he is...I thought he was in the beginning but that pedestal soon came crashing down"

"It's just hard to believe that's all"

Jackson nodded he understood that. "What gets me more angry is the fact that he should be hitting out at me, I was the one with him when I pursued things with Aaron..." he shook his head frantically. "But he's not he's hitting out at Aaron and he could have killed him yesterday mum...fucking killed him..." he caught his breath. "How can someone do that? How can love drive someone to that?"

Hazel shrugged, she felt for him and she only wished she had the answers for him. "I wish I could tell you son but I can't...when we're home, you go and find him and find out because it isn't acceptable...in the mean time this stays between me and you"

Jackson nodded. "Thankyou..." he sighed. "Better get back to him"

"Who is that anyway?" Hazel asked with a frowned as she glanced over to Aaron.

"Oh that's Ramiro...he brought Aaron back around yesterday, CPR the lot..." he lowered his head and shook it.

"Love, I know it's horrible and I know you're looking after him and being strong but just remember to take care of yourself aswell" she smiled.

Jackson smiled back at her and stood. "Yeah...see ya later mum"

...

Ramiro was intriguing, Aaron found his eyes being drawn to him, fixed to him during their conversation there was no sexual feelings there merely just feelings of admiration for the man who had saved his life.

"Drop by again...maybe have drinks with me and Jackson one night" Aaron suggested with a smile. "We'd enjoy your company"

Ramiro nodded. "Of course, I'd like that too"

"Good" Aaron said happily.

"So what's this?" Jackson asked with a smile as he sat back down on his bed.

"Just invited Ramiro round for drinks one night"

"Cool, should be fun and it'll be a way I can thank the man who saved my man's life"

Ramiro blushed. "it was nothing, just doing my job"

"Might have been nothing to you mate but it was everything to me" Jackson told him and Ramiro understood and he nodded slightly.

"Tomorrow night?"Aaron asked.

"I'll be here, which room?"

"Fifty four...east block" Aaron moved his head back, motioning to the block behind him.

"Got it, have a good day and take it easy" Ramiro told him.

Aaron nodded. "Bye" he watched him go.

"I like him" Jackson commented.

"Yeah he's a nice guy, so what did you and your mum talk about?"

"Just the meal tonight, told her not to be late and to be at ours for whatever time you told her" he lied.

"I told her seven"

Jackson nodded and watched Aaron and smiled. "Better get some cream on babe, don't want you anymore sore than you already are"

"Hmm, good point" Aaron replied and reached down for the bottle.

"And when you're done, I'll do your back"

"What was that? Do me on my back? Now that is one thing I could do right now"

Jackson let out a laugh. "Behave you! There are kids around"

Aaron scowled. "So, they won't know what I'm on about"

"You know what forget the cream...I think a siesta is in order" Jackson winked.

"Oh..." Aaron stood willingly. "Come on then..."

"You are naughty Livesy!" Jackson told him as he grabbed their gear and quickly followed him to the lift on the ground floor.

"Let's hope it gets stuck, wouldn't mind banging in a lift" Aaron told him with a smirk as he pressed the button and the doors slowly opened.

"Mmm...Let's hope..." Jackson agreed as he walked in and was immediately pulled into Aaron, they kissed passionately, their tongues swiping each other's lips then both begged for entry and once allowed their tongues battled in a quick passionate frenzy for dominance. Jackson pushed his groin against Aaron, which pushed him against the wall. Their lips parted and Aaron was breathless. "God you're big..."

"And I plan on using it..." he told Aaron and they quickly pulled away from each other as the lift stopped and the doors opened.

As both lads headed to their room they both knew full well what the afternoon had in store.

TBC...


	13. Taking It Too Far

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Taking It Too Far"

This fanfic continues **on several hours after **_The Power Of Love_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Hazel marched ahead in front of the boys along the promenade, the sand of the beach to their right and the shops and tat shops to their right, the smell of food wafted their senses as they headed to the restaurant. Aaron and Jackson walked hand in hand slowly, going with the flow of the locals and tourists milling around. Jackson smiled and looked out at the sea, watching the waves crashing down onto the sand, an orange sparkle glistening on the water from the sunset on the horizon, it was fascinating, absolutely stunning. Jackson smiled and tightened his hold on Aaron's hand and looked at him. "I love you Aaron"

Aaron's heart melted he could hear how genuine those words were, his deep dark brown eyes so open and full of love, he could see it and he sighed and smiled. "I love you too" and he too genuinely meant it.

Jackson nodded and looked ahead again, happy and content, but he was also aware of the issue needing to be dealt with but in that moment and the moments to follow it was just Aaron and his mum who were important.

"Hazel! What you rushing for!" Aaron called to her, she was quite a way ahead now.

Hazel stopped and waited for them, when they reached her she spoke. "Because you boys told me seven you'd be at my room, you weren't, I came to yours and you were out cold...seriously afternoon naughty business...I'd never have done that in my younger days"

"Oh" Jackson pulled a disgusted face. "That's enough...and yeah we did alright, so what we're on holiday..."

"Yeah" Aaron said with a smirk. "And we haven't booked the restaurant we just saw it when we were out walking and liked the look of it, so you can relax and we'll be there soon, we won't be late for anything" Aaron told her.

"Oh right...hmm well there's me thinking you would have had the sense to book a table...silly me..." she smirked and gave a wink before she carried on walking.

Jackson just laughed and shook his head as they carried on walking arm in arm.

...

A while later all three of them finished their meals in a very warm welcoming restaurant. It was Chinese. They were sat outside, well it felt like a room actually, however there were no windows around whatsoever just the concrete ceiling above them, tiny walls surrounded the outside followed by lush green bushes below on the ground. The restaurant was decorated in purely Chinese colours, black, red, blue, gold, white silver and a few others. Aaron hoped Jackson and Hazel approved and from the satisfied looks on their faces they did. He breathed a sigh of relief and sat back with his pint of lager in hand. "Why is it Chinese here tastes so much better?"

Jackson shrugged and so did Hazel. "No idea love"

Aaron pouted and shrugged to it was a mystery that would remain exactly that. Aaron watched Jackson looking around, his eyes looking from one thing to another, then another quickly. "You alright?"

"Hmm" Jackson quickly looked at his boyfriend and smiled. "Oh yeah fine, just admiring the restaurant, it's really comfortable"

Aaron nodded, he couldn't disagree with that. Hazel smiled as she watched the both of them. Now she would interrupt. "So Aaron, we've not really had much chance to get to know each other"

"Okay" he said as he let out a breath. "Ask away"

"Is Paddy your dad?"

Aaron smiled. "Yes and no"

Hazel frowned. "Well he either is or he isn't"

"Not in blood, but in here" he tapped his fingers to his heart. "He certainly is"

"Oh right" Hazel smiled. "What happened with your proper dad?"

"Mum..." Jackson groaned.

"What? He said ask away and he doesn't have to answer any question he doesn't want too"

"It's alright Jackson...he threw me out a few years back...he couldn't handle me...had to go and stay with my mam in Emmerdale, I've been there since but I haven't seen my dad at all"

"Have you ever considered seeing him again?"

Jackson sighed loudly. "For god sake mum come on"

Aaron laughed. "Its fine" he replied, the thought of it though was strange, he hadn't ever considered seeing him again, a part of him wanted too, the other not. "I haven't Hazel but I do and I don't, I just want him to see that I'm not the same person as I was then"

"And neither might he" Hazel smiled.

Aaron smiled, he could hope but it was very doubtful. "Don't really get on with my mum, she tries I know she does but she doesn't think before she speaks, she hadn't spoke to me for weeks after it all came out about me and Jackson but then she's concerned when she hasn't seen me around for days?"

Hazel cocked an eyebrow. "It's because you're not near I assume, you're in her safety bubble that is the village, but then when you've gone far away from that she has no way of knowing what is going on with you"

"And obviously in the village it's easier cause there are people to tell her stuff" Aaron surmised

Hazel nodded. "She's probably stressing out because of it; she doesn't know what's going on"

Aaron scoffed. "I have to go to another country for me to see she's actually having a reaction towards me...pathetic" he spat. "Why doesn't she tone it down and just listen to me, to what I want then Hazel?" he sounded desperate to know. "I know I'm only eighteen but she's gotta let me make my own mistakes, hovering over me with a sheet of cotton wool won't work"

With a raised eyebrow Hazel glanced over the injuries. "Obviously"

Aaron had to smile. "Yeah yeah, alright I know but I'd rather have stuff like this happen than look back at the end and have no experience because I was too consumed by her"

"Well well well, Livesy you've done it again!" Jackson grinned.

Aaron gave him a confused look.

"Surprised me yet again, a rather adult mature conversation for you that wasn't it?" he smirked back at him and Aaron laughed.

Hazel slapped his arm gently. "Oh behave I thought it was lovely, opening up to us like that"

Redness flushed Aaron's cheeks and he smiled and nodded. "And with that I'll be off to the bog!" he chuckled and got up and left the table.

"And there it ends, the bog...I mean..." Hazel sighed and shook her head.

Jackson chuckled. "That's him though mum..." he turned to her. "And I love him, so much...I do" he nodded.

Hazel smiled. "I know you do...and you have to tell him son, he has no idea Tom is here on this bloody island, he's not expecting anything"

Jackson frowned. "Don't say that mum...I mean I know it's a possibility, if he could ram his ski into Aaron's and hurt him like that I don't know what else he's capable of...I-I just can't tell him...he..." Jackson sighed. "This holiday was for him mum...well both of us but the excitement in his eyes when he chose the hotel and everything it was amazing to see, this is more for him than it is me..." Jackson trailed off as he looked past his mum and saw Tom across the street watching.

"Jackson?" Hazel questioned with a frown, but he got up from his chair.

"He's over there" Jackson began to shake. "Tell him I'm just taking a breather, I'm stuffed just keep him in here..."

"Jackson I can't do that and you can't go out there to him alone!"

"Tough I' am" and before Hazel knew it he had gone and walked down the steps and onto the street, checking the road he walked over to him...

...

Tom smirked as Jackson grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from the view of the restaurant. "Well well...Jackson...funny seeing you here...small world"

Jackson bit his lip, anger threatening to erupt from him. "Why?"

"Why?"

Jackson nodded. "Why did you do that to Aaron? I know it was you..."

"Because I love you Jackson and he's nobody...if I can't have you no one can" Tom's tone was calm.

Jackson laughed. "Right...seems like you've gone psycho over the whole affair business"

"Who wouldn't?"

"Actually Tom most people can manage to move on...they don't manage to lose a screw or three in the process" he sighed. "And how did you know I was here anyway?" he demanded.

Tom smirked. "You should really change your password to your email account Jackson"

And that was how he found them. Jackson looked away and sighed. "This has to stop!"

"I can't!"

"Is that a threat?" Jackson's eyes narrowed at him.

Tom didn't reply.

"You could have killed him!" Jackson let some of his anger out and grabbed him by the collar shaking him.

"Good" a smile formed across his lips, obviously the appeal of seeing Aaron dead made him happy.

"You say you love me?"

"You know I do!"

"Well how do you think I'd feel if I lost Aaron? Haven't thought about that have you? Because if I ever did lose him it would hurt me in the process, I'd be a mess, whether it was by another cause or it was you it would _never _ever make me fall into your arms again! You disgust me Tom; I hate you for what you did to Aaron. I was the one who cheated, but yet you're taking it out on him!" he breathed. "Well for someone who loves me you're not giving a good impression are you? You don't hurt the people you love"

Tom frowned and Jackson seemed to be revelling in the moment, his eyes widened as he watched the realisation in Tom's own eyes. "Yeah, that's right..." Jackson pushed Tom away. "I never loved you!"

"You're going to pay for that!"

"Keep away from me and Aaron and if you do anything to hurt him again, I'll hurt you" Jackson replied through gritted teeth. He then turned and walked back to the restaurant.

"But what about being against violence Jackson?" Tom goaded.

Jackson stopped and turned to look back at him. "Oh trust me...there can be exceptions!" he called back angrily before continuing on his way.

"You wouldn't"

Jackson stopped again. "Well then just let it all go Tom and you won't ever have to see that side of me"

Tom sniggered and walked off.

...

"Where the hell have you been? She's been talking at me for ages" Aaron smirked.

Hazel knew nothing was meant by it.

"Oh needed to walk off some of that food" he quickly glanced at his mum then back at Aaron.

Hazel saw the worry in her son's eyes but remained silent.

"And hey you're in my seat!" Jackson told him.

"I know...I was getting warm, the breeze coming through is amazing"

"Right well, shall we go? Have a nice walk back then a drink on the balcony?"

Hazel smiled, grabbed her bag and stood up. "Sounds good to me!"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah yeah...come on then" he stood; his back now faced the street.

Aaron reached down and fiddled with his shoelace, the next thing he felt was a sharp pain ripping through his body the source of it coming from his left shoulder blade and Aaron fell against the table, still conscious and aware of a large rock beside his feet.

Jackson was stunned but hurried to his side with Hazel, members of staff rushed to him aswell and other diners midway through their meals stopped and looked on.

"Jesus!" Aaron groaned.

"A-Aaron...y-you okay?" Jackson was panicked, the panic blinded him from the fact tears were falling freely.

Aaron held his breath, the pain was immense and overwhelming, all he could do was nod.

"We are all so very sorry for what has happened, we have called the police" a Chinese man in a suit who Hazel and Jackson assumed to be the manager spoke.

Hazel nodded. "We'd really like to get him back to the hotel..."

"I'm afraid the police will probably need to speak to him and you both"

"But we didn't see anything"

Aaron gasped and Jackson could see blood seeping through the thin black jumper he was wearing. Jackson sighed. "It's alright...we'll stay but I'm gunna need a towel or something he's bleeding..." worry was plain to see on Jackson's face.

The manager bowed his head and walked off quickly.

"I-it's not too bad Jackson" Aaron gasped. It hurt like hell. Jackson looked back out to the street, he couldn't see Tom. He then returned his attention to Aaron. He placed his hands on either side of him. "Here babe, let's get you sat down"

From him falling onto the table the seat he was sat on had been moved back, Hazel quickly moved to bring it nearer to him. Jackson lowered him down slowly. He smiled at his mum thanking her, then knelt down in front of Aaron and held his hands in his own. "H-How do you feel?"

"Like all energy has just been clipped from me" he said as he looked at Jackson, his eyes stinging from tears yet to fall because of the pain.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, you're pale..." Aaron nodded in reply.

"Enough is enough Jackson" Hazel told him harshly. "He has to know!"

"No!" Jackson snapped back. "I can deal with this"

Aaron frowned and looked at them both. "Know what?"

Jackson lowered his head. "I-it was Tom Aaron...he did this and he rammed into your jet ski purposely...I-I'm sorry I should have told you but I was going to deal with him, before I saw him watching when you went to the loo, I went to speak to him...he said that if he can't have me no one can..." he sighed.

"And it never occurred to you that I should know seen as though he's targeting me"

"I thought I could keep you safe"

"Well you can't Jackson, you were a few metres away just then and he throws a fucking big enough rock at me" he sighed.

"I'm sorry" Jackson said quietly.

Aaron looked up at Hazel and she shrugged, it was up to Aaron how it went from now.

"No...No...Jackson it's not your fault, I don't blame you and I'm not mad alright, but you should have said..." he winced again. "B-But...that doesn't matter now, we'll deal with it together"

"I know we will but he's gone psycho Aaron and to be honest I'm scared...he knew we were here cause he has the password to my email...he must have seen the booking confirmation"

Aaron nodded and he watch Jackson crumble into tears, his shoulders jerking as he sobbed. "Aww Jackson no...Come on...I love you alright, I know you're scared but we'll sort this...it's not your fault, listen to me babe please"

Jackson nodded and he calmed himself and wiped his eyes. Hazel placed her hand on his shoulder for comfort. "I'm sorry" Jackson whispered as he got up and sat in a chair himself.

"You don't have to be son, Aaron knows that too..."

Jackson nodded again as he composed himself. "Are...are the police here yet?"

Hazel nodded. "Yeah I saw them coming in, I think they're talking to the waitress who saw what happened"

Jackson and Aaron both nodded. "Sorry Hazel" Aaron chuckled. "Was a great night till just now"

"Oh don't be daft, it's not over yet either, drinks in the room remember" she smiled, that time couldn't come quick enough; she needed another few strong drinks. "Once we get back though we'll clean you up"

Aaron nodded with a smile. "Thanks"

A few hours later after giving statements and a description of Tom, and speaking to the Spanish police about what happened next they finally got back to the room. Hazel was relieved to know they wouldn't be needed, just that they would be looking out for the man but with no photo and no CCTV in the area, it proved to be difficult. Hazel did not like that part.

Hazel piled in with them and waited as Jackson helped Aaron to the bathroom to clean him up. She raided their fridge and took out a drink and wandered out to the balcony. The boys would be a while; the wound looked messy, so she sat down in the hot night air and looked up at the stars as she waited, enjoying some silence for a little while at least.

TBC...


	14. The Plan

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"The Plan"

This fanfic continues **on a few days after **_Taking It Too Far_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

The taxi slowed to an eventual halt outside of Dale head, the sky was grey with cloud, the wind was harsh and it was raining. Aaron sighed as he got out, refusing help from Jackson. They were tanned but their moods weren't nearly as glowing as much as their tans were.

Aaron had gone into a depressed mood and Jackson couldn't help but worry about him even more since the rock incident.

Aaron had made the decision on the night of that incident when they were sat on the balcony with Hazel that he wanted to go home. Jackson agreed completely and understood, they would have been looking over their shoulders every time they went out.

At least at home Jackson convinced himself it would make it easier for them to be comfortable and Aaron would be able to heal properly.

With a two am flight booked for the night after; they flew home and then with waiting for their suitcases they were eventually back home, it had just gone nine in the morning. Aaron sighed, he was tired and sore, very sore!

Jackson got the two small suitcases out of the boot and paid the fare and the driver drove away. Both lads stood together looking at the house, not noticing a sniggering Carl King walking down the village. When he walked past the boys he shook his head while looking at Aaron.

"Fuck off!" Aaron grumbled.

"Hey, hey...relax..." Jackson soothed. "Come on" he told him then started walking up the house to unlock the door.

"Oi!" came the loud high pitched shout from Chas as she walked down the village to her son.

That was incentive for Aaron to move, and quickly despite how painful it was to do so. It was too late, just as he was about to step inside, Chas was behind him. "I don't think so...go on get inside, we need words"

Jackson frowned as he moved aside for both of them. This was all they needed.

"Right so you disappear without telling me for a holiday, I was worried sick Aaron!"

Aaron sniggered, his back still facing her. "But you weren't bothered about me before!"

"I was bothered but I was angry at you for doing what you did with him!"

Aaron then spun around on the defensive. "Don't you dare! I love Jackson!"

Chas instantly backed down and rushed to him, she went to touch his face but pulled back and Aaron had flinched anyway. "No, no...Love please let me look at you...w-what happened to you?"

"You don't care mum" Aaron felt defeated as he slumped down into the sofa

Chas knelt down in front of him. "Yes, yes I do...you know what I think about how you two went about things but it doesn't mean I don't want you to be happy because I do, you're hurt son...please tell me"

"I was on a water ski, another rammed into mine and I was flung off it into some rocks" he explained, and it wasn't a lie either, he was just hiding more of the details.

Chas sighed and lowered her head. "You should have called me!"

"Why? For you to have to go all the way out there and I was fine they revived me and I'm fine..." he sighed. "Sore but yeah..." he trailed off.

"Revived you?"

"He was found lying face down in the water" Jackson explained quietly from across the room.

"Bloody hell Aaron and you just let him go did you!" Chas snapped

Aaron scowled. "I'm not a kid!" he stood up and walked to the kitchen and paced by the dining table, still in view of them.

Chas sighed and remembered her conversation with Debbie. "I-I know..."

"No, but you don't do ya! I wanted to go on the Jet Ski, so I did...it wasn't up to Jackson to tell me I could or couldn't. Nobody can tell me what I can and can't do in life, just me and I went on it and I loved it!" Sweat began to form on his brow the anger very clear in his expressions and tone. It seemed the frustration and feelings from within were emerging in the only way Aaron knew how to let them.

"Aaron love please just calm down!" she spoke calmly. Jackson just watched with folded arms and a cocked eyebrow, he knew his boyfriend needed this but he was unsure of where it was going.

"Calm down?" he questioned. "Calm fucking down!?" his tone rising with anger once again. "I can't calm down when there's a fucking psycho looking out for me!" he raged and with one quick movement he grabbed the fruit bowl and threw it into the living room past his mum and it smashed against the mirror above the fireplace, causing that to smash too.

Aaron's face was red, veins in his head and neck bulging as the adrenaline fuelled blood flowed quickly through his veins. He was shaking, panting to get his breath back. Then his face scrunched as the onslaught of tears fell fruitfully.

"N-N-No...Aaron..." Chas seemed to be moving so slow, she thought anyway as she moved to reach Aaron as he fell to his knees. She caught him and wrapped him in her arms as he sobbed. Jackson wiped his own tears away, he wanted so much to rush over to him but Chas was there, she needed to be he thought, maybe they could start reviving their mother, son relationship. He hoped anyway.

"It's alright Aaron" she soothed. "It's alright" she rubbed his back but he flinched away in pain. Chas frowned. "Oh I'm sorry love..."

Aaron shook his head. "Its fine" he wiped his eyes.

"Remember what I said the day you told me you were gay? That I wanted to try and be better for you and I do Aaron I really, really do...you're my son and I love you and you have to tell me what's going on, both of you" she turned to Jackson then and motioned him over.

Jackson walked over and they were all sat on the floor by the dining table, Jackson gave Aaron a comforting smile and held his hand tightly. Aaron smiled back greatly appreciating him.

"I'm sorry Jackson, I shouldn't have said what I did...It wasn't your fault and I do like you, he's happy and that's all I want for him"

Jackson nodded. "Me too" Now they seem to have found mutual ground and an understanding. Jackson smiled at her and Chas smiled back.

"Right then, now you've got to tell me what has happened...all of it" Chas told them.

...

"You need to call the police" were the first words out of Chas' mouth after she listened in silence until they boys had finished explaining.

Aaron shook his head. "What good is that going to do?"

"He'll get locked up that's what good it'll do" Chas replied.

"Nah, we'll deal with it"

"Aaron..." Chas sighed.

"Mum...please we will"

"There's no proof either Chas" Jackson shrugged, clueless as to what to do.

Chas sighed. "You two have to be careful, call any of us if he comes back here, find a way to keep him here if you can and we'll be straight round"

Jackson and Aaron looked at each other, unsure of how that would help them sort Tom and make him see he had to leave them alone but they agreed anyway. Aaron sighed and stood up. "I'm going to get some air, stay if you like mam..." he nodded to her and then at Jackson with a smile.

Outside in the morning air he took a breath and walked across the road to the shop. He walked in, grabbed some bread, milk and some biscuits and then walked to the till and placed his stuff down. He smiled at David.

"What happened to you?"

"Oh erm had an accident with a jet-ski" he smirked.

"I see, could have been worse"

"Yeah, tell me about it...and I'll have one of those euro ticket thingys" he chuckled. "Don't exactly feel lucky at the minute but I can hope..."

"Ah you never know mate, might win, it's a one hundred million rollover..."

Aaron whistled. "Wow...what I'd do with that" he grinned as he handed over his cash.

David chuckled. "I bet...there ya go" he said as he handed back his change.

Aaron took it and grabbed his bag. "See ya later mate"

Aaron walked out of the shop and back across to the house, upon walking in he smiled slightly at hearing his mum and Jackson talking civilly getting to know each other a bit. It was nice to hear, nice to know she was showing an interest.

Jackson turned with a smile. "What you been buying?"

"Just some bread and milk, some biscuits"

Jackson nodded. "Why don't you give me that and you go and get a bath or something, relax"

"Yeah, sounds good but it hurts..." he said shyly. "The water I mean on the cuts and stuff"

"I know but if they stay clean babe they'll be alright" he nodded to him.

Aaron nodded and walked to the stairs after handing Jackson the bag. "Oh mum...I-I'm sorry"

Chas smiled at him. "You don't have to be sorry just get better, you'll feel alright again soon enough"

Alright again? Aaron wouldn't feel alright until Tom was out of the picture, soon enough couldn't come quick enough.

Aaron nodded and frowned as he was about to speak. "W-Will you still be here when I come down?"

Chas beamed happily. "Yes if that's what you want"

Aaron pouted slightly and gave her a nod. "Wouldn't have asked otherwise"

Chas looked confused and Jackson just chuckled as Aaron left them too it. "He's full of surprises lately just go with it Chas..." he laughed again.

"Right then" she was happy. "I'll do you boys some breakfast, make myself useful while I'm here" she declared then got up and began walking to the kitchen.

"You don't have too"

"I want to Jackson" she turned back, reassuring him.

A few minutes later Jackson excused himself and walked upstairs to the bathroom to see Aaron sitting in the bath just staring down into the steaming water, he stepped inside. "Hey" he said softly.

Aaron smiled. "Hey"

"You okay?"

Aaron shook his head. "Sore" he chuckled. "Still, usual story"

Jackson nodded and moved a little so he could see the large cut from the rock that had hit him severely on the shoulder blade; the cut looked like a lightning bolt. The cut itself was surrounded by severe redness then it faded to a dark purple bruise around it that was horrible to see. "It'll heal" he said with a nod. "And the others too" Jackson walked to the toilet seat and sat down so he could see him face to face.

"I'm tired of this Jackson and it looks like it's only the beginning, once he realises we aren't in Tenerife, he'll be right back here"

Jackson nodded. "I know but we'll be ready"

"How Jackson? I don't have a clue short from hurting him and I don't want too...but it's the only way...but once I start I won't stop and it could get messy after that...because I will go too far"

Jackson nodded again; he knew that, he sensed he had that edge after the incident with Carl. "Maybe we should attempt talking to him together"

"If you think it might help"

Jackson sighed. "No, no I don't...but I can't think of anything else"

"Alright" Aaron nodded. "If he comes here, we'll talk..."

"Okay, we'll try it..." silence loomed over them for a minute or so before Jackson spoke again. "I'm sorry about the holiday Aaron, we had another week...he ruined it and it's my fault"

"No it's not if anything it's mine, but I don't regret that night when we started all this, I don't regret us now, never will...he has to be stopped cause to be honest handsome, I don't want to die" he laughed.

"Don't say that!"

"What?" Aaron shrugged. "I have to say it and to be honest I have to laugh cause if I don't I'll just cry and I'm not doing that again. But that's how far he wants to go, I'm not stupid"

"I'm not going to let him hurt you again Aaron, I promise"

Aaron smiled at him and nodded.

"If..." Jackson began as he let out a breath. "If the talking fails I'm going to the police"

"That's fine but we have to try and talk him into some sense first"

Jackson nodded. "Let's hope it works eh?"

Aaron chuckled and then sniffed. "Is my mam cooking?"

"Yeah, breakfast for us all"

"Wow..." he breathed. "That's not happened since we were all together in Smithy...ohh" he groaned. "Speaking of Smithy suppose I better make it up with Paddy properly this time"

"I think that's a good idea" Jackson laughed as he stood up. "I'll leave you to it babe, I'll get these cases up to the bedroom"

"See you in a bit"

Jackson smiled and leaned down and kissed his lips softly. "I love you"

"I know, I love you too" Aaron replied and watched him go, then slid down in the bath wary of the cut, the water caused it to sting but it might help? He didn't know. He felt his body relax and he closed his eyes.

TBC...


	15. Making Amends

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Making Amends"

This fanfic continues **on twenty minutes after **_The Plan_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Chas popped her head round from the kitchen and saw Jackson sorting out their washing from the suitcases. "Foods nearly ready love...you wanna go get him? See if he's alright?" she asked with a smile.

Jackson smiled. "Course I will" he got up and walked upstairs. He stopped at the open door of the bathroom, his smile widened. He quietly walked in and knelt down on the floor and watched him sleeping. He looked so peaceful, the stress and the frown lines around his eyes were none existent, well at least until he woke up and the realisation of the situation they were in hit him again. Jackson sighed quietly and reached out to his sleeping boyfriend and gently ran the back of his hand against his cheek in a soothing manner.

Aaron moved his head away and his eyes flickered open, he looked around realising he was in the bathroom, and in the bath. He looked at Jackson and smiled slightly.

"Falling asleep in the bath, who hasn't done that?" Jackson grinned. "You okay?" he asked.

Aaron wiped his eyes and nodded as he sat up. "Yeah...suppose I better get out" he chuckled. Jackson smiled and got to his feet while Aaron pulled the plug and stood up, the water ran down his body and Jackson flicked up his eyebrow, a smirk washing across his lips as he moved closer and wrapped the towel around him then held him in his arms.

No words were spoken, words weren't needed. They understood the gravity of the situation it weighed heavily on them both. "I'm soaking you..." Aaron spoke quietly.

Jackson shrugged. "Doesn't matter, I'll dry" he pulled away and smiled at him. "Come on, you're mums been busy in that kitchen for a while, let's enjoy this and I'm sure you'll appreciate spending time with her"

Aaron smiled and stepped out of the bath. "Just warning you, her cooking isn't perfect"

Jackson shrugged. "Well she hasn't burnt anything so that has to be something right?"

Aaron chuckled with a nod of his head as he walked out and wandered to their bedroom.

"See you down there" Jackson called to him as he walked to the stairs.

...

"How is he?" Chas asked as she dished out their food.

"Found him asleep, so adorable" he smiled as he stood against the bench.

"Aww" Chas smiled. "You really love him don't you?"

Jackson nodded. "I do"

"You have to sort this out Jackson"

"I will"

"Mind telling me how?"

"I'm going to invite him round to talk, all three of us"

Chas mouth fell open. "You what! Aaron can't be anywhere near him!"

"Do you trust me?" Jackson asked.

Chas sighed and looked away. "Well I-I-I err yeah, yeah I do, I know you won't let anything happen to him"

"No, I won't" Jackson smiled as he took out his phone.

"You gunna call him?" Chas asked.

"No, text, he'll be here as soon as he can I just know he will..." he replied as he typed the text and sent it. With a heavy sigh he put his phone back in his pocket just as Aaron walked into the kitchen.

Chas smiled. "Hiya love, sit down its ready"

Aaron smiled with a nod and he and Jackson walked to sit at the table.

...

With just Chas and Aaron left at the table while Jackson went for a walk to clear his head they sat in silence, for a few minutes at least. "I-" Aaron frowned as he began, when it came to his mother he was so used to being on the defensive, it came so easy to him but talking like how he intended now well that was always more difficult, the only person it didn't prove difficult was Jackson. "I'm happy that you're here, I'm sorry I've been difficult"

Chas smiled and reached out and held his hand. "Let's forget it eh? Start a fresh?"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "But can I ask you something?"

"Course you can"

"Why did you go back with Carl? Paddy loved you mam"

Chas sighed she knew this would come around eventually after it all died down. She shrugged. "Because I love Carl and I'm not saying I didn't love Paddy because in some way I did and I still do, Paddy is safe, and Carl is well...Carl..." she sighed.

"Hmm" Aaron nodded. "Maybe one day you'll settle for safe"

Chas couldn't find the words, her son had struck her to silence and that was a rarity.

"I hate him mam"

"I know that and so does everyone in the village, but for me, please Aaron try and leave him alone"

"I do, it's him who sniggers and comments when he passes me"

"I know and you reply with F this F that...Carl tells me every time, seems to enjoy it"

"Doesn't surprise me" he smirked.

"Do you want to talk love? A-about what's going on?"

Aaron rested back into the chair. "Nah, but I wouldn't mind some pain killers"

Chas smiled and got up from her chair and rushed into the kitchen, enjoying the chance to take care of her son.

"Mam I-I've been thinking about something..."

"Oh?" she called back to him as she filled a glass with water.

"Hazel, Jackson's mum asked me about my family, I told her about you, Paddy and my dad...I was wondering what you'd think if I wanted to see him"

Chas walked back to him and placed the glass and two tablets down on the table, she sat back down, not really knowing what to say. "It's up to you love but I remember the look on your face when he shut that door in your face..."

"That's how all this started" he said quietly and Chas nodded.

"I understand why you want to see him and I know the feelings around it all are still there for you, I just don't want him to make them worse"

Aaron sighed and nodded. "I know...I just want too, I want him to know what that did to me and I want to know if he even cares"

"It's your life Aaron if that's what you want then do it, whatever happens all of us are still here for you and we always will be, especially Jackson" she smiled. "He's a good lad"

Aaron smiled. "Yeah he is"

...

Aaron was alone in the house when there was a knock at the door. He got up and answered it. "Paddy..."

"This a bad time?" he asked.

"No, no...come in" he moved aside to let Paddy in then closed the door. "Jackson's out still...My mam was here for a while"

Paddy smiled "Yeah I saw here before, told me about the accident"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah...and we've sorted things and actually getting on for once"

Paddy nodded. "That's good listen-"

"Liste-" they both spoke in unison and stopped, looking at each other. Aaron smirked. "I was going to come and see you today"

Paddy smiled. "I'm sorry Aaron"

"No, no you had every right to say what you did and I shouldn't have walked out like that, I'm sorry too"

"Mates again?"

Aaron grinned. "Yeah"

"Come here!" Paddy held out his arms and Aaron walked up to him and received a very familiar hug, to which he reciprocated.

"How are you and Jackson?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah we're good, thanks" he told him, aware that he should tell Paddy about Tom but he felt he should keep it quiet; it would be sorted soon hopefully.

"I'm glad, he seems a good lad"

"He is, you'll both get on"

Paddy nodded. "I'd like you both to come round for tea tomorrow then I can find out"

"We'll be there" he promised as Paddy walked back towards the door.

"I have appointments but I'll see you later? Come to the pub about seven and I'll get some pints in"

"You know I can't refuse that" Aaron laughed as he followed him out. "I thought I'd come get Clyde..."

"Oh yeah course"

"Thanks for looking after him...things were just hectic after you know..."

Paddy nodded. "I know he's been good as gold"

Aaron locked the front door and walked with him up to Smithy to collect Clyde.

TBC...


	16. Unintentional

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Unintentional"

This fanfic continues **on several hours after **_Making Amends_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Jackson had text Aaron to let him know he was out with some mates, needed to clear his head. Aaron understood and told him he'd be waiting for him to get home.

It was dark outside, the village lit only by the street lights, the heavens had been open for a few hours now and there were no signs of it stopping. Aaron sighed; the house was quiet, too quiet for his liking. He looked down at Clyde lying on the sofa beside him with his head on his leg. Aaron stroked him; at least he had him for company.

Sometimes one sided conversations were the best especially when there were things on your mind and you just wanted to talk, to let things out and to only have a dog to whine or bark in reply was better than the opinions and reassurances of a person especially when you didn't believe them.

Aaron did not believe Jackson could sort it with Tom, and he didn't believe he'd be able to keep him safe, not because he felt Jackson didn't care or didn't want too because he did and Aaron knew that, he knew that he loved him and would do anything for him but Tom was someone he could not keep him safe from, previous experiences proved that.

What could the pair possibly say to Tom to make him realise what he was doing was bang out of order? Aaron sighed, he hadn't a clue. "Any ideas mate?" Aaron asked Clyde. The Alsatian simply moved his head slightly to look up at him. "No, okay then" he replied and stroked his head some more.

The pelting of the rain on the window lulled Aaron into a doze on the sofa as he waited for his lover to get home. He lifted his head when he heard the front door unlock. _About time _he thought. He turned to face the door and immediately jumped up when it wasn't Jackson. Aaron swallowed hard as he backed away until eventually hitting the wall on the other side of the room. He watched Tom's menacing expression as water dripped from his face. Clyde quickly got up and ran past him up the stairs, the animal obviously sensed the intrusion and the aura coming from the man.

"H-How the hell did you get in here?"

"I lived here for a day or two, I have a key" he said before slamming the door and locking it again.

"W-W-" he stuttered, he could feel his body starting to shake, he was scared of Tom. "Why are you here?"

"I got Jackson's text, said you wanted to talk"

"Alright, Jackson's out but we can talk"

Tom nodded and slowly walked to the sofa and sat on the arm of it. "Me and Jackson didn't mean to hurt you"

Tom began to laugh. "Really?"

"Yes really, we knew we would but, we couldn't stop ourselves, you were with Jackson you know how it feels..."

Tom nodded. "I do, and the only reason I don't have him now is because of you, I don't have a lot of things because of you!" he spat angrily. "I didn't want to get up after that night here when your sordid affair came out; I didn't leave the flat for days...I lost my job because of you!"

Aaron frowned. "You made the choice not to go don't be blaming me for that!"

"Who the hell do you think you are _little boy!" _Tom yelled across the room at him.

Aaron sighed. "Tom me and Jackson are together, can you just understand that. I'm sorry I really am...you nodded when I asked if you knew how it felt, well I experienced that, I experienced Jackson...and I fell in love, nothing mattered, not you, not anyone, we wanted each other and I know these words hurt but it has to be said, I'm not going to lie to you"

"You know when someone else better comes along he'll be off with them!"

Aaron shook his head. "Not going to happen"

"How are you so sure about that?"

"Because what me and him have is special"

Tom scoffed in disgust. "Yeah that's what I thought"

Aaron couldn't help but laugh a little. "But there's a difference"

"Oh?"

Aaron nodded. "He never loved you." He said it loud and clear.

With Aaron's words Tom launched himself across the room at Aaron but Aaron moved away quickly grabbing a dining chair for defence. "You know what!" Aaron raged. "I actually thought you'd eventually kill me! But there's no way I'm going to give you a chance!" Now both men were playing tug of war with the chair.

"I'll catch you when you least expect it! You took the only man I've ever loved away from me!" he screamed as he pulled at the legs of the chair, yanking Aaron forward slightly.

Aaron pulled back with the strength he had. "You didn't deserve him!" Aaron spat back as swung the chair around forcing Tom onto the dining table. "Pity I don't have a rock!" he yelled. "But this'll do!" he then threw the chair onto his back and it fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

Tom began to laugh as he stood straight and turned to him. Aaron stood, his shaking severe, his chest rising and falling quickly as he got his breath back. "You've gone crazy Tom you need help"

"The help I'll get is when I see you dead!"

Aaron laughed. "I told you, not gunna happen...I'm a bit younger than you mate, quicker...I care about Jackson can't you see that!" Aaron yelled with a sigh.

Tom walked over to him slowly, his eyes filling with tears, seconds later he was in his face. "I'm going to make you pay for what you've took from me, all of it!" he spoke quietly but with force. Aaron just stared into his eyes unaware that Tom was removing something from his pocket.

"Get over it Tom...please, it has to stop and its driving yo-..." he winced, tears instantly filled his eyes. A sharp pain ripped through his body from just below his ribs. Tom stepped back and Aaron watched as he held a bloodied knife. He wanted to fall to his knees, the pain was too much, too overwhelming but he didn't, he quickly stormed over to him and both men soon began to fight, arms and legs tangled as they rolled across the floor.

Tom pressed his palm into Aaron's face and squeezed. Aaron struggled but managed to push him away enough to then lift his legs and kick him back, Aaron quickly stood, so did Tom. Aaron's balance shifted slightly and he stumbled to the side, clutching onto the wound that was flowing freely of blood. "Why Tom? Why..." he groaned. "There's plenty of people around who want someone, all you have to do is go into Bar west any night and there's someone searching for the one...and you can find him you just have to stop this and move on" he frowned and stumbled back. Aaron scrunched his face as the pain came in waves now. "This will be alright...y-you just have to go and leave us alone I won't mention it to the police...I-I'll get someone to get me to the hospital..."

"No..." Tom said quietly, smiling. "No!"

"Tom! Please! I'm bleeding to death for fuck sake!" Aaron sobbed quickly. "You've done enough damage!"

Tom shook his head and walked towards Aaron quickly again, but Aaron reacted quickly, ignoring the pain he felt."GET AWAY FROM ME!" He screamed at the top of his lungs and grabbed Tom's shoulders by his bloodied hands and gave him a hard push back.

Tom stumbled backwards and was unable to regain his balance and he fell onto his back, his head hitting the marble base of the fire.

Everything went quiet...Aaron fell to his knees, crying in pain clutching his stomach. He looked up and frowned, he wasn't moving. He crawled over to him. Tom's eyes were open; Aaron noted that he wasn't breathing. He pushed himself back away from him quickly until he hit the radiator under the window.

Seconds later the door opened quickly, Aaron took in a deep breath as he turned to see who it was.

"Oh my god..." Cain spoke quietly, dropping the spare key to the house as he took in the scene before him. He quickly closed the door and dropped to Aaron's knees.

"H-he's dead! I-I-I didn't mean too Cain...p-please help me!" he begged then cried against his shoulder.

Cain wrapped his arm around him. "It's alright kid it's alright...I-I'll sort this alright but my priority right now is you, I have to get you to hospital"

Aaron nodded. "But Jackson could be back any minute...h-he can't see this! This isn't happening Cain!" Aaron yelled. "He's got to wake up! I just pushed him for god sake"

"Aaron" Cain shook him. "You have to stay calm alright, I will deal with this, don't worry about Jackson, come on can you walk?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah"

With help Cain got him too his feet and opened the front door then whispered in his ear. "Walk to the car, try and look like nothing's wrong, we can't have people looking back on tonight if this comes back to bite your arse, hopefully I'll sort this enough so that it won't"

Aaron nodded. "Normally..." he said with a sigh. "I'll do that" he said before stepping out into the night air.

Cain closed the door and ran to the back door and opened it ready, then ran back and leaned down at the lifeless body of Tom and picked him up in his arms and walked as quickly as he could to the door, then turned sideways so he could get out without any problems, he looked up and down, the back was dark, no one was around then he ran across to the garage and behind it with Tom, then he lowered him to the ground slowly among bushes, he would sort the rest out later. Without even a millisecond to think he ran back to the house, locked the back door, seeing there was a disturbance around the dining table he quickly straightened the table and put the chair back in its place. He looked around and grabbed the cloth from the sink and ran to the scene where Tom was lying and he quickly cleaned away the pool of blood from the marble base and then stuffed the bloodied cloth in his pocket. But still there was no second to think, he got up quickly and ran to the doorway, he picked up the spare key he had that he'd previously dropped in shock and pulled the door shut and locked it with shaking hands. Then he ran to his car further up the street and got in, he shut the door and put his key in the ignition and turned to Aaron. He lay facing him with his eyes closed and even in the dimmed light of the dashboard lights he could see the paleness of his skin.

"Aaron!" he yelled but had no response. "Shit shit shit!" he cursed and started the engine and revved away quickly.

...

In the brightness of the hospital corridor, Cain was left waiting as they led Aaron away and for the call to Jackson to connect.

"Alright mate?" Jackson asked.

"Erm, no Jackson you need to get to the hospital straight away" Cain told him, panic in his voice.

"What! Why?"

"Edna came to my door saying there was some commotion coming from yours so I called round, I walked in and Aaron was leaning against the radiator, he was stabbed, the back door was wide open, I got him in my car and got straight here"

"Oh no...r-right I'm on my way!"

"Be quick Jackson!" he sighed and hung up the call.

A while later Jackson ran down the corridor until he find Cain. Panicked expressions soon met each other. "Is he okay?"

Cain shrugged. "I don't know they just took him away, then I called you...who'd do that Jackson?"

"Tom..." Jackson said as he lowered his head.

"Your ex?" Cain asked, playing along.

Jackson nodded. "The accident on holiday wasn't an accident Cain, he-he wants Aaron dead...what...what if he's succeeded?" Jackson said and slumped into a plastic chair along the wall.

"No...no you can't think that mate" Cain leant down and met his teary eyes. "He's in the best place! I got him here as quick as I could"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah...yeah...he'll be alright" he told himself as a doctor approached.

"Mr. Dingle?"

Cain turned around and stood up. "Yeah that's me"

"Aaron is in surgery at the moment but we are hopeful we will be able to stop the internal bleeding...in cases like this we are bound to get the police involved"

Cain nodded. "Course" he told him.

"I have to get back but I will keep you updated"

Jackson and Cain nodded as he walked away.

"W-Will you be alright if I go and tell Chas and Paddy, I don't feel right doing it over the phone" he would tell them of course but he had an ulterior motive when he arrived back in the village.

"No of course not, I'll be alright" he flashed a smile.

Cain nodded. "I'll be back soon" he told him before leaving.

TBC...


	17. The Steep Slope To Hell

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"The Steep Slope To Hell"

This fanfic continues **two days after **_Unintentional_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron had been awake now for several hours; Cain, Chas, Jackson and Paddy were waiting outside his room while the police were questioning him.

"Are you sure that's all you remember?" the police officer asked.

Aaron nodded, he swallowed hard. "Yeah, like I said I was asleep on the couch I woke up thinking it was my boyfriend coming in but it was a guy with a balaclava, Jackson had taken the van and I didn't have the lights on high so I assume he thought the place was empty, I tackled him, then I just felt a sharp pain and I fell to the floor, I crawled away and rested against the radiator and I watched him leave through the back door, then my uncle Cain came in and took me to the car...I blacked out then..."

The police officer nodded, and closed his notepad and placed it in his pocket. "Alright, well we have Mr Dingles statement aswell, we'll call around the village see if anyone saw or heard anything, although it's doubtful with the weather and the time of night it had taken place"

Aaron nodded. "I'm fine now, if you find him you find him" he shrugged. "If you don't then I'll just have to make sure I lock the doors when I'm alone" he smiled.

"We'll do our best" the policeman told him and turned and left the room.

Moments later Cain walked in and Aaron sat himself up a little further. "What the hell is going on Cain..."

"Did you tell them what I told you to?" he asked.

"Yes I did why?"

"Good, then our statements will match..." he breathed.

"W-Where did you put him?"

"You don't need to know that"

"Yes I really do!" his tone urgent but hushed.

Cain sighed and shook his head. "I put him in one of the cars at the garage and drove to home farm..." he sighed. "I buried him...nobody saw me, I emptied all of his pockets, no identity nothing...when I got back I burnt all his stuff, phone, wallet..."

Aaron nodded. "I can't believe this is happening"

"It's over now, no one will have seen him that night Aaron, Edna heard commotion but that matches up to you fighting back a burglar, keep it calm...the police don't have anything to go on"

"I believe you I do but I know what I did!" he said through gritted teeth at his uncle.

"It was self defence"

"Not the point!"

Cain sighed. "It's over Aaron, forget about it and just get better"

Aaron lowered his head and nodded. "Alright"

...

Chas, Jackson and Paddy sat by his bed a while later. Aaron lay with his head back on the pillow holding Jackson's hand. The room was silent until Paddy spoke. "The doctor said you'd be able to go home tomorrow"

Aaron nodded and smiled a little. "Good" not that he wanted to go back to that house but he knew he'd have too.

"If I ever find out who did this I'll kill them" Chas spat.

Aaron tensed at her words and Jackson felt him squeeze his hand. He squeezed back to comfort him.

"It doesn't matter, they won't find him...they've got nothing to go on" Aaron told her.

"They said that?" Paddy asked.

"Yeah, well not in so many words but I knew what they meant"

Chas sighed and shook her head. "At least you're better"

Aaron smiled a little.

"And when you get home you're resting alright" Jackson began. "And you will do as I say"

"Yeah...don't feel like doing anything anyway, you won't have any trouble from me"

...

The time had finally come and now Aaron walked behind Jackson up to the front door. He closed his eyes, just picturing what the place looked like the last time he was there filled his mind. "You okay?" Jackson asked as he stepped back to him.

Aaron nodded. "Err yeah...just weird that's all"

"It'll be alright once you get in there and get settled"

Aaron smiled and continued walking and he stepped inside the house, the living room and dining area was in pristine condition, he let out a breath of air, despite being told it was clean he needed to see it for himself. Aaron walked over to the sofa and sat down. He could do this couldn't he? He sighed. He didn't think he could.

"Listen I know you've had a tough time Aaron but I have to ask you..."

Aaron shook his head. "It wasn't Tom...he hasn't shown his face, he might have got the message finally"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah maybe" he said as he sat beside him and pulled him into a hug, he kissed his short spiky hair filled head. "I'm so happy you're okay"

Aaron smiled and looked at him. "Yeah me too" his tone was completely blunt and flat. "I think I'll get some sleep actually" he pulled away and got up and headed for the stairs.

"I'll wake you in a few hours"

"No...I'd rather just sleep through it..."

Jackson frowned. "Okay no problem but if you do wake and you need anything just shout...I'll be here"

Aaron nodded before he made his way up the stairs.

...

After nearly twenty minutes of coaxing from Jackson, Aaron finally agreed to take Paddy up on his offer of dinner. Jackson had made sure Aaron had wrapped up because the weather was freezing, Aaron being his usual self scowled and grunted at the effort he had to make, Jackson smiled at him lovingly with was returned by a frown. Jackson shook his head with a smile as he followed his boyfriend out of the house.

"I don't even see what the point is to be honest" Aaron commented as they began to walk up the village.

"Because it's Paddy and he wants to make an effort for you"

Aaron sighed. "Well there is really no need"

"Aaron look...you'll get bette-"

Aaron glared at Jackson. "Just shut up! I'm sick of having to get better! Fucking sick of it!" he raged then breathed heavily as he composed himself.

Jackson ignored the anger in his voice but placed his arm around him. "I know it's not fair Aaron but Tom would have been here by now but he hasn't...he's seen the light finally..."

Aaron raised his eyebrows at those words. "...yeah"

"He has Aaron, he's not going to hurt you again, and I doubt that robber will think twice about coming back" he reassured him.

Aaron sighed and nodded.

They arrived at Smithy a minute later and Paddy had been watching them from the kitchen window so he was ready for them and opened the door as they neared. Jackson smiled at the older man as Aaron stood bowed head with his hands in his pockets. "Come in, come in" Paddy smiled.

Both lads walked into the kitchen area. Jackson shook Paddy's hand. "Fresh start?" Paddy asked to which Jackson smiled and nodded. "Definitely"

Jackson turned and saw Aaron stood in the doorway still with his head bowed. He sighed quietly and looked back at Paddy. "Struggling?" Paddy asked.

"Who him or me?" he asked.

Paddy smiled. "Both?"

"Yeah sounds about right"

Paddy nodded, ready to take over the situation. "Sit down and make yourself at home, food won't be long"

Jackson nodded and removed his jacket and placed it over his chair and sat down and watched.

Paddy approached Aaron slowly and carefully. "Alright mate?" he asked.

Aaron shrugged and met the eyes of the man he saw as his father.

"Come on mate you're safe here you know that"

"Yeah I know...I just..." he sighed. "Sorry" he said as he began to unzip his jacket.

"No, no apologies I understand"

The first words he wanted to say was no you don't but he refrained. He winced slightly as he twisted to remove the jacket. "Oh careful, here I've got it..." Paddy was at hand straight away and helped him remove the jacket.

Aaron walked over and sat beside Jackson. "So..." he breathed out, he had to try he thought. "What's cooking?"

"A lasagne are you alright with that Jackson?" Paddy replied as he reached down into the fridge and took out two cans of lager.

Jackson nodded with a smile. "Definitely, looking forward to it"

"Good, good" Paddy nodded and held out a can to Jackson but Aaron reached instead and took it.

Jackson frowned with a smirk and watched Paddy lean over the table and snatched it from his hand. "Not tonight mate, medication remember?"

Aaron sighed. "Oh how could I forget!" Paddy handed the can to Jackson.

"Cheers mate"

"So Jackson..." Paddy began as he settled into a chair opposite them; the smell of food filled the air. "You're a builder?"

Jackson nodded. "I certainly am"

Aaron rolled his eyes and looked away, that was the start of the night to come, under normal circumstances it wouldn't be but in his current frame of mind he was finding all of this rather stupid and boring.

A while later after they'd eaten...well after Paddy and Jackson ate Aaron was still playing with his food, stabbing the pasta sheets with his fork after only taking a few bites; he mindlessly listened to the chatter from Jackson and Paddy.

"I remember the time I caught Aaron shaving for the first time I took the mick out of him for ages; seriously if looks could kill I wouldn't be here right now!" Paddy laughed, as did Jackson.

"My dad was the same...just wouldn't let it go...but it's just a normal thing that's all I kept telling myself and now I've got a nice little beard going on"

"Yeah, looks good"

"Oh and has he told you about his attempts with girls?"

Jackson frowned and shook his head, eager to hear about this.

"Well there's Victoria Sugden..."

"Diane's step-"

Paddy cut him off. "That's her and then there was Holly Barton"

Jackson's eyes widened. "No!" he laughed. "Ah that's great, bet Adam loved that eh?" Jackson asked as he nudged Aaron gently.

Aaron shot up from the table, forcing the chair back as he moved. "Can't be doing with this shit anymore!" he said with a rather raised voice and stormed out, grabbing his jacket on the way. The door slamming brought the older men out of their shock.

"What just happened?" Jackson asked.

Paddy shrugged.

"I should go after him"

"No, Jackson in my experience it's best to just let him go, worm his way out of whatever mood he's in, he'll be fine when you go back"

Jackson sighed. "I doubt it Paddy, he's hardly saying a word to me, w-well you've seen it, he's just sat there, not looking at us, not joining in and he hardly ate now that isn't Aaron"

"No, I know...he's usually an bottomless pit when it comes to food...it'll sort itself out Jackson...but don't forget you have the entire Dingle clan for support and me"

Jackson nodded. "I know I just want my Aaron back, before all of this crap started"

"And you will" Paddy reassured with a smile.

...

Back in Dale head Aaron was crouched down beside the spot where Tom lay when he died. Tears filled Aaron's eyes and they fell within seconds, one by one. He was shaking and breathing to try and calm himself but the guilt and pain from what he had done had overwhelmed him. He sobbed and placed his shaking hand out and rested it on the marble fire base. "I...I-I'm sorry" Aaron spluttered as he cried hard. "I didn't mean too" Aaron fell back onto the carpet and put his head in his hands uncontrollably sobbing.

TBC...


	18. Breakdown

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Breakdown"

This fanfic continues **immediately after **_The Steep Slope To Hell_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Aaron got to his feet, he needed to get out, the walls were closing in on him or so it seemed, his breathing was hard and fast, he was shaking, he ran to the door and out into the night, he took in a deep breath and clenched his jaw as he wiped his nose then he walked up to Cain's. He rapped on the door lightly and Cain answered a few seconds later, concern instantly washing over his expressions. He quickly stepped outside closing the door behind him.

"I can see you're not okay..." he said quietly.

Aaron shook his head. "No, I can't do this Cain..."

Cain placed his hand on his shoulder for support. "Yes you can Aaron"

He shook his head more adamantly now. "No, I'm not like you I don't kill people"

"No, I might do horrible things sometimes Aaron but I don't kill people. You are a lot like me; if I didn't know I'd think you were mine...you can do this Aaron. I did it for you, you're my nephew and I love you"

Aaron had to catch his breath as his emotions came flooding out once again. He nodded. "I know, I know you did and I'll always be grateful but we should have just told the truth" he sighed and placed his head in his hands.

"No, no we shouldn't have because they would have twisted every detail and you'd be locked up right now waiting for a bail hearing and then a murder trial" Cain looked away. "It will get easier"

Aaron let out a laugh. "Oh no, I can feel myself, Cain...just slipping, it's all dark and I don't know what to do...Jackson will hate me...I-I never meant to kill him Cain!"

Cain grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him. "I know that!"

Aaron lowered his and shook his head as he cried.

Cain frowned as he watched him and pulled him into a hug, a very tight hug, wanting to protect him from it all but deep down he knew he couldn't. Aaron was the only person who could forgive himself and move on. "Come on let's get you a drink"

Aaron nodded and walked away with Cain, composing himself as they headed to the pub.

...

Jackson was in Dale Head after having a nice meal and chat with Paddy, even after Aaron had left, now he was home and Aaron was nowhere to be seen and he wasn't picking up his calls. Jackson paced the living room, anger now rising. What the hell was he playing at!

Moments later the front door opened and Cain walked in first then Aaron. Jackson let out a sigh of relief. "Where the hell have you been!" he yelled.

Cain frowned. "Err with me, he came to mine all upset after what's happened and I took him for a drink"

"An alcoholic one?" Jackson questioned.

"Yes, one didn't hurt then he was on the soft drinks"

"And that's alright is it Aaron? Just swanning off cause you felt like it!"

"I mean it Jackson leave him alone!"

Aaron sighed. "Just shut up both of you"

"I'm sick of you telling me what to do Aaron! I know what you've been through and are going through is horrible and you won't get over it easily but doing runners and not answering your phone doesn't help, you worry me sick Aaron!" Jackson breathed and turned away and sat down on the sofa.

"Right I'll leave you boys to it, and you" he pointed to Jackson. "Lay off him!" he glared then looked at Aaron. "I'll drop round tomorrow alright?"

Aaron simply nodded and the house fell silent as Cain left. As soon as the front door closed Aaron walked to the stairs.

"Where the hell are you going?" Jackson asked his anger still evident.

"Bed!" Aaron spat and stomped up the stairs.

It seemed like a lifetime had passed but when he turned to the red digits shining in the dark on the bedside table it had only been two hours, Jackson was sound asleep beside him, his breathing was soft, but it didn't soothe Aaron to sleep. He stared at the window, his arm resting beneath the pillow. A sound, rustling it was, he moved his eyes to the corner of the room, he saw no one, but when his eyes returned to the window he saw him, Tom stood looking down on him, Aaron was numb, he couldn't move he couldn't do anything; he simply lay there staring back at him. The exchanging of looks with the ghost of Tom or a more viable reason his mind conjuring images from his own guilt ridden thoughts lasted until the breaking of dawn, Aaron snapped out of the mindless stare when Jackson's alarm sounded loudly throughout the bedroom. When Jackson moved to turn the alarm off Aaron snapped his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep.

Aaron only opened them again when he heard the front door close then the sound of the engine of the van chugging to life. He sat up in bed, another restless night's sleep. He sighed and got out of bed, he walked to the bathroom and brushed his teeth and caught sight of his reflection in the mirror, almost immediately upon seeing himself, he gagged, he dropped his toothbrush into the sink and quickly moved to the toilet and vomited for a good five minutes, it didn't help his stitches, his jerking body caused the healing wound to hurt even more than it already did. He breathed heavily once he was finished; he wiped his mouth and stood up again, flushing the toilet as he did. He rinsed his mouth with cold water and brushed his teeth again and while doing so making a point of ignoring his reflection.

Aaron went back into the bedroom and got dressed and made the bed, well pulled the duvet back and not neatly either, he never did. He wandered down stairs and made his way to the kitchen; Clyde got up from his bed and circled around Aaron. "Alright, alright...I'm getting your food" he said with a sigh as he set about getting Clyde's food from the cupboard and pouring it into his bowl which he quickly began to eat, while Clyde was preoccupied with that Aaron filled his water bowl and placed it back down, stroking him on the back briefly before walking into the living room, he sat on the edge of the sofa and stayed there, his eyes fixed on the base of the fire, silence all around him.

...

"GO AWAY!" Aaron yelled from the sofa, answering the door knocker.

"Aaron, just open the damn door, it's me!"

On hearing it was his Uncle Cain, Aaron stood up and answered the door. "Sorry..." he frowned.

"Jackson's at work I take it?"

Aaron nodded. "Dunno, probably...or...he might have seen sense and done a runner, who knows I might turn on him one day, clobber him round the head with something the next time I wanna play murderer"

"You're not a murderer!" Cain said in quiet but urgent tone. "You'd never do it again, the signs are clear Aaron your feeling guilty, and that's not the sign of a murderer"

"How do you know?" he spat.

Cain shrugged. "I watch too much TV, but its true Aaron, if you were a killer you wouldn't feel like this, you'd revel in it, feel satisfied..." Cain sighed. "Do you? Feel satisfied?"

Aaron scowled at him. "No! Course I don't"

Cain nodded. "Well then!"

"What do you want anyway?"

"I want you to the come to the garage"

"I'm meant to be resting"

"Yeah and you will, but over there"

"So you can keep an eye on me more like" Aaron told him as he grabbed his jacket and put it on.

Cain pouted and with a nod he said. "Spot on, now move" he grinned and waited for him to leave the house and lock the door behind him.

...

"After half an hour of sitting there must be boring ya" Cain commented as he worked on an engine of an Audi.

Aaron shrugged. "Try sleepless nights, they bore me, b-but when he arrives time just seems to speed up and it's morning again"

Cain frowned and turned to look at his nephew.

"Oh" Aaron shook his head. "It's probably my mind..."

"Tom? Watching you at night?"

Aaron nodded.

"It's just the guilt"

Aaron scoffed. "Yeah well, I'll feel guilty about what I did, the life I took for the rest of my life so I guess I'm stuck with him"

"No, Aaron it'll get better"

"Yeah how?"

Cain sighed and shrugged. "I-I don't know kid" he was well and truly out of his depth.

"Oh so this is where you're hiding?" Adam called to him as he walked towards the garage seeing Aaron sitting on a chair outside.

"Remembered you had a best mate then?" Aaron replied.

Adam sighed. "Ah mate come on, I was angry after what you did, just thought we should have some space...and I was coming to see how you were today anyway but I got a text from Jackson and it kind of brought it forward..."

Aaron rolled his eyes and shook his head. "And why has Jackson text you? Why does he even have your number?"

"Assuming he took it from your phone...he's worried about you Aaron"

"Tough shit"

"Aaron!" Cain said in warning.

"What the hell is up with you?" Adam asked forcefully.

"I got rammed into some rocks by the force of a jet ski hitting mine, a rock thrown at me, all by Tom then when I get home someone tries burgling the house, so I get stabbed, that is what is up with me Adam!"

Adam lowered his head. "Yeah, he said are-" he was cut off.

"Yeah? Well you tell him from me that I don't want any help from anyone, I don't want his worry!" he spat. "And if he so much as goes behind my back again I won't be responsible for what happens!"

Adam shot a glance right back at Aaron, frowning instantly. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Aaron got to his feet and walked over to him. Cain downed tools, and stepped closer, standing ready.

"It means I don't like people going behind my back, I don't need your help" he reached out and pushed him enough to force him back. "I don't need Jackson's" he pushed again, Adam shaking his head as he moved, restraining himself from doing something he'd regret. "I don't need anyone's" Aaron laughed and pushed him again. "Why the fuck would I? You weren't around when I needed ya!"

"Because no one told me until it was too late!"

"Do one Adam" he told him nastily.

Adam shook his head as he stepped back. "Me and you are done! I hope you end up alone, but that'll happen soon enough the way you treat the people who care about you! Why the hell should we eh? Such a weight lifted not having to worry about you!" Adam shouted. "Jackson will realise it soon too and he'll be able to have a proper life! You just ruin everything! You selfish nasty piece of shit, I hope you rot!"

"Yeah jog on, on you go farm boy!" he shouted back then turned and walked to the chair, a glimmer of sadness from their exchange showed, and Cain saw it too.

"Well done, fucking fantastic you aren't ya...he's your best mate for god sake!"

"Yeah well not anymore" he said quietly.

"Err what the hell is he doing here?" Chas' voice screeched from a few metres away, Aaron rolled his eyes and placed his head in his hands, digging his fingers into his eyes in frustration.

"And that's a problem why?" Cain asked.

"I-I don't know is there one?" she asked.

Aaron raised his head and looked at her. "Does it look like I'm moving, doing any physical work?"

Chas frowned and backed down. "No..."

"There ya go then" he clapped sarcastically. "He won't even let me use a mouse and keyboard for invoices, make you feel reassured?"

"What is wrong with you?"

"You are, shove off"

Chas shifted awkwardly until she reached out and slapped him. "Enough! You treat Paddy with no respect last night...oh yeah I heard about that son, who the hell do you think you are lately, we are all bending over backwards for you but yet you shove it back in our faces well it has to stop! We know you're going through a hard time but that's no excuse!" she sighed, seeing she was getting nowhere. "I came to have a word with you anyway...there's someone here..."

Aaron frowned. "Well then i feel sorry for them if they've come to see me"

"Oh grow up!" Chas snapped. "After our talk I made a decision and spoke to..." she was stopped when Aaron looked past her and saw his father.

"My dad"

Chas let out a shaky breath. "Yeah..."

"You had no right!" Aaron got up off the chair and stormed off.

"Aaron..." Gordon spoke but was ignored completely when he quickly walked past him, heading up the village.

Cain sighed. "I'll go, just wait there..."

Chas nodded and looked at Gordon. "I'm sorry he's uh..."

"A hard time? Yeah...you said"

"Are you sure you want to try again Gordon because if you do I won't lie to you you're about to get on a flipping long rollercoaster ride"

Gordon nodded. "Yeah, I wasted too much time...who knows, I might be able to help him"

"Well you can try" Chas nodded with a slight smile. "He did change but with everything it's just set him right back, well maybe to a worse state than he was when he was with you...I-I just worry because you couldn't handle him then..."

"And we've talked about this Chas...I had to think of Sandra then...and my son to her...but she left me took him with her, there's just me now...like I said we went through this when we talked"

Chas nodded.

...

"Aaron! Aaron let me in!" Cain shouted as he banged on the front door, all he could hear was Clyde barking and loud bangs and crashes from inside.

"What's he doing?" Chas screeched.

"Trashing the place by the sounds of it"

"Is there a back door?" Gordon asked.

"Yeah" Cain gave him a look; he didn't like the man, not after what he did. "I already tried it"

"I-I'm gunna get Paddy, Cain call Jackson" Chas told them, her voice was shaky and she ran up to Smithy cottage.

"Who's Jackson?" Gordon asked.

Cain sighed. "You do know Aaron's gay?"

"Yeah, Chas told me everything, but never mentioned a Jackson"

"Well put two and two together and what do you get?" Cain snapped.

"Boyfriend" Gordon surmised.

"Good thinking batman" he replied flippantly as he took out his phone and dialled Jackson's number. "J-Jackson...yes I know you're busy but you need to get back home right now...why? Why! Can you not hear this?" Cain sighed. "Aaron's locked himself in the house and he's trashing the place...yeah, right, okay see ya in a bit"

Gordon stepped up to the door. "Aaron! Mate...it's your dad!"

"You are not my dad! Leave me alone!"

"No, I'm not leaving you now, not again! You need to open the door..."

"Do one!" Aaron raged.

Gordon sighed. "Look I know you hate me and I understand and I know that whatever is bothering you might seem bad now but it'll get easier..."

"You have no idea!"Aaron screamed and then a loud smashing sound could be heard.

"What on earth is going on here?" Edna asked as she stepped outside holding tootsie in her arms.

Cain sighed. "He's having a bad day"

"Certainly sounds like it!"

"Oh just but out Edna get back to whatever it is you were doing I'm trying to calm him down here..."

Edna shook her head and wandered back inside.

Paddy rushed up to the front door and banged hard on it. "Aaron, its Paddy come on mate, what you doing eh? Got us all worried sick here, got Edna complaining an all...come on please..."

All three men jumped back away from the door in surprise when something hard clashed with the hard wood door from the inside.

"Will one or all of you bloody do something! He could be hurting himself in there!"

"I called Jackson let's just wait and see how he fairs shall we?" Cain asked as he stepped away and sat on the lawn.

"Yeah and if we give him time to cool down until he gets here it might help" Paddy added as he sat on the step.

Gordon stepped back too, looking around the village. "Nothing's changed much around here then"

Cain tutted. "Shut up"

Now all they had to was wait for Jackson, would he have any luck?

TBC...


	19. The Risky Game Begins

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"The Risky Game Begins"

This fanfic continues **immediately after **_Breakdown_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Jackson's van sped quickly down the village and came to an abrupt stop outside of Dale head. Jackson grabbed his house keys and jumped out the van and ran up to the four people outside the house. Worry consumed his expressions, he could now hear the tirade of Aaron's anger and the following crashes and bangs seemingly from anything he could get his hands on. Jackson frowned at the unknown man standing with Chas then turned and placed his key in the lock, it wouldn't turn. He slammed his hand on the door, he sighed. "Aaron!" he yelled. He waited there was no reply. "It's Jackson! Let me in!"

"NO!"

Jackson shook his head and looked up in frustration but saw the bedroom window open. "Cain give me a hand!" Jackson told him and he ran back to the van and began the process of getting his ladders of the top of the van with Cain's help.

Moments later, now with several villagers looking on both men walked back up to the house and as quietly as they could they extended the ladders to reach the window.

Cain and Jackson stood close together. "Be careful Jackson"

"I will"

"He might hurt you" he said in a hushed tone.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, yeah I know...but I have to calm him down, somehow...I love him and this, this is killing me"

Cain nodded. "Go on lad, open that door aswell you might need our help"

Jackson nodded as he approached the ladders and began ascending them.

"So what do we think this is all about?" Chas asked.

"Well it's obvious what it's about Chas" Paddy replied quickly. "But I think we're dealing with post traumatic stress syndrome"

Chas frowned. "And since when did you qualify in the mental health of humans?"

"Chas!" Cain warned.

"Well it's true"

"I think he's right" Cain told her with a sigh. "It has to be, he's been through a lot sis"

"Yes I know that Cain, the sooner Jackson gets in there and calms him down the better!" she snapped.

...

Jackson sat on the inside of the house on the window sill in their bedroom, Aaron's anger was obvious by the warzone he was looking at, the mattress of the bed had been thrown off the bed, the bed frame itself had been thrown against the wall. His laptop was smashed in pieces on the floor by the door, the TV was smashed aswell, glass lay on the carpet from the screen, the wardrobe was face down on the floor, and all of their clothes were strewn everywhere. This was the sight of the bedroom; he could only imagine the state the rest of their home was in. He lowered his head, tears teetering on the brink of falling. _Oh Aaron... _

He lowered himself carefully onto the floor, he knew the house well enough know he knew where the creaky floor boards were and he stepped around them quietly and pulled open the already ajar door. He popped his head out, the landing was clear, photos that previously hung on the walls were on the floor, and shards of glass surrounded them. He stepped out, and again making his way to the bathroom he avoided the floorboards. Jackson could safely say he was scared. Scared of what he would find, scared of Aaron's reaction if he heard even the slightest noise in the house and scared of what he would do to him. He looked into the bathroom and the mirror was smashed, he could see dots of blood on the sink, Aaron had been cut in the process. He stepped inside onto the hard floor and looked around, nothing else was damaged but unknowingly he stepped onto a piece of glass which crunched under his feet. _Shit! _

Jackson heard movement downstairs and then footsteps coming up the staircase. He slowly turned around and there he was his eyes full of tears and anger, his hand blood covered, sweat covering his forehead, his chest was rising and falling at speed. "Aaron..." Jackson said quietly.

"How the hell did you get in?!" he spat.

"T-The window"

Aaron looked in the bedroom and saw it open, he sighed and lowered his head.

"You need to let me help you..."

"I don't want your help!"

"Tough!" Jackson shouted back.

Aaron stepped right up to him, his jaw clenched.

"Go on then if it'll make you feel better, hurt me"

Aaron simply pushed him away into the bathroom then turned and walked back downstairs. The three seated sofa and one chair had been turned over, leaving one which Aaron now used to sit. Ornaments were smashed, items thrown everywhere, cutlery lay in the living room from the drawers in the kitchen that he'd removed and just thrown. Every single plate and bowl were smashed, the TV had been smashed by a vase, the remaining piece of vase lay at Aaron's feet. The dining table was pressed up against the front door and pieces of each chair, the legs, seat and back were displaced around the living area. Kitchen unit doors hung off their hinges and the fridge had a large deep dent in the door.

Jackson stood at the bottom of the stairs after squeezing between the legs of the table and the wall. "Well..." he breathed as he looked around. "At least the fireplace is intact eh?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Just get out!"

"Nope, you need me"

Aaron laughed. "Really?"

"Oh that's how it is, is it?"

"What gives you the right to go behind my back and talk to Adam!" he yelled.

"I'm worried about you Aaron and by the state of the house I have a fucking right to be! I wanna know what this is all about!"

"You know...everything, I'm sick of everything, I hate myself, I'm sick of the pain! Jackson! And she went behind my back too and now he's here!"

"Who?"

"My dad!" he spat. "Doesn't deserve that title"

"But you wanted it...she just did something good for you and he's here right now..."

Aaron shrugged. "I want Cain"

"No" Jackson shook his head. "We need to sort this out"

Aaron grabbed the last piece of the vase and stood and threw it towards Jackson. "I said!" he shouted. Jackson dodged the incoming object and it smashed against the table behind him. Aaron quickly picked up a chair leg and flung it. "I want!" and then another "Cain!"

Jackson's shoulders slumped and he turned and grabbed the table and pulled it from the space between the door and the staircase then lifted it up and flung it across the room, giving Aaron a glimpse of his own anger. He then turned back to the door and unlocked it, when he opened it; all four quickly approached the door. "Just Cain" he told them all and stepped out and let Cain inside.

...

The door clicked shut as Cain was stunned by the state of the house. "Jesus Aaron" he said softly then heard his quiet sobs. He walked over to him and knelt down on the floor in front of him.

"I told you I can't do this" Aaron said as he shook his head.

"You can mate, you can" he pulled him into a hug.

Aaron's sobs came with force now and he cried on Cain's shoulder. "I didn't mean too, I didn't mean any of it" he cried.

All Cain could really do was hold him.

"He's going to leave me now"

Cain shook his head. "No he won't"

"I love him so much but when he finds out he'll hate me so much" his voice was shaky.

"If you do tell him, he might understand Aaron...it was self defence, if you hadn't of pushed him away he would have stabbed you strike after strike until you were dead Aaron! You do know that don't you?"

Aaron nodded as he wiped his nose.

"Everyone out there loves you and they're just worried about you, even Gordon to my surprise...give him a chance, give them all a chance...come on...we'll get this place back in shape in no time"

"No, no I'll do it" Aaron told him, he sighed as he looked around, now obvious the mix of anger, guilt and sadness was fading quickly.

"No, we'll help you, well I will, Jackson will...it's up to them if they want too but you've got me and Jackson Aaron, you're not alone alright"

Aaron nodded. "Let them in then..."

Cain got to his feet and walked to the door and opened it, eyeing them all carefully, giving an unspoken message, more to Chas than anyone though. By the look on her face she understood. He walked back in followed by the four of them.

...

Chas swallowed hard as she took in the scene before her, she took in a breath and marched forward. "Right Jackson, bin bags under the sink?" she asked as she charged towards the kitchen.

"Uh..." Jackson nodded. "Yeah..." he replied as he walked up to Aaron and knelt down in front of him.

Aaron looked into Jackson's eyes, tears dropped from his as he began to speak. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" he spoke quietly, almost whispering.

Jackson nodded. "I know, I know...but we have to talk properly alright"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah we do"

Jackson leaned in and hugged him.

"Paddy! Cain! Grab a bag, come on this place will be in ship shape in no time" Aaron turned to her and she smiled warmly at him. She handed the bags to Paddy and Cain and the three of them started to clear up.

Gordon stepped forward a little and watched Aaron for a second. "Aaron, are you okay?"

Aaron frowned then looked back at him and shook his head. "No, but I will be, I'm sorry for the way I reacted to you earlier"

"No, no I understand it's alright. I'll come back tomorrow though; you've got your hands full with all this"

"Alright" Aaron replied.

Gordon smiled; his son seemed to be giving him a chance. "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Yeah, see ya"

As Gordon left Aaron got to his feet and headed to the kitchen to find his mum, he stood beside her as she picked pieces of glass out of the sink. "I'm sorry"

Chas turned to her son and frowned. "What happened Aaron?"

"I just lost it, I snapped at Adam because Jackson told him to have a word cause he was worried, I snapped at you, and when I saw my dad I just saw red, I-I know what I talked to you about and your heart was in the right place but it was my decision of when I'd see him, not yours"

Chas nodded. "I'm sorry"

"And just with everything else, I just saw red, everything inside I just let out..."

"We can see that" she smirked.

"No mam don't, I've really messed up...I might aswell pack my bags now"

"No you don't" Jackson's voice filled the room as he stood beside Aaron; Aaron looked at him and smiled slightly.

Aaron sighed with a shrug of his shoulders. "When I tried to kill myself I thought that was breaking down..." he shook his head. "I was wrong, this was a breakdown and now I just feel calm...but I still shouldn't have destroyed the house..."

"No you shouldn't have but it's fixable" Jackson told him.

"I can't apologise enough but I...I erm, I'm going to start cleaning"

"No, no you don't" Chas told him. "Jackson take him upstairs and get that cut cleaned"

Jackson nodded. "Come on"

...

Jackson held Aaron's arm under the tap allowing cold water run over it, he was silent just waiting for Aaron to speak.

"All of what I said downstairs was true, the reason why this happened..." he took a breath. "But there's another reason" there was never going to be a good tell to tell him the major reason behind the trashing of the house. He looked away, he was ready, he turned back to look Jackson in the eyes seconds later. But those chocolate brown eyes stunned him, stopped him in his tracks.

"What is it babe?" Jackson asked.

"Erm..." Aaron frowned. "Because everything in this house was Tom's mostly, the cutlery, the sofa, the bed! Everything and I wanted it gone, I wanted it gone" Aaron began to get emotional, his speech quickening as if panicking. "All I see is him in this house; I was fine with it until he started getting back at me"

Jackson placed his hands on Aaron's shoulders "Alright, alright its fine...we can change it, we can change it all, this is your house now too" Jackson told him, genuinely meaning every word and finished with a kiss on the forehead.

Aaron nodded. "I'm sorry"

Jackson smiled. "It's alright, you go help your mum, Cain and Paddy are sorting out the bedroom"

Aaron's eyes widened. "Clyde!"

"N-No don't worry he's fine...he's following them around" Jackson chuckled.

Aaron smiled.

"See that's better, I love your smile" Jackson told him which made the smile grow.

"Right, go and get a bandage around that, let your mum help you, no arguments, I'm off into town..."

"Why?" Aaron frowned.

"To get me and you our new bed" Jackson grinned and kissed him quickly and they both left the bathroom.

"Aaron you got a sec?" Cain called from the bedroom.

"Uh yeah..." he walked into the doorway, seeing Cain alone.

"You told him?"

"No, No...But I was going too...it's going to hurt him and I can't bare that Cain...I think I'll be alright now everything just piled up and erupted"

"You sure about that being alright I mean?"

"Not a hundred percent but I'm going to try to be, I'm not going to let this rule my life"

"Good, that's what I want to hear" Cain smiled. "Now, go on get down those stairs and help your mam"

Aaron nodded and turned slowly, but then turned back to his uncle. "Thankyou...for everything"

Cain appreciated it but he bit his lip as he thought. "No problem though you still need me"

"I know" Aaron understood that. "It'll get easier, going to make sure of it"

Cain nodded and watched Aaron go.

Aaron let out a breath as he walked down the stairs, convincing himself it would all work...hiding the truth.

A risky game for anyone to play...

TBC...


	20. Back In Business

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Back In Business"

This fanfic continues **two days after **_The Risky Game Begins_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

Dale head was now in a liveable condition; Jackson had got their new bed that very same day and got it in the house with some struggle but with the help of Cain and Paddy. The bedroom was back in order, damage items were thrown away. The sofas had been placed upright, the dining table had been thrown out, the damaged cupboard doors in the kitchen had been drilled back into place and all rubbish had been thrown out.

Jackson's van was full with work stuff so with Cain's help and the use of the garage pick up van they managed to get all the rubbish, broken furniture and smashed TV's to the tip.

Jackson was now redecorating the house, while waiting for their new TV to be delivered and a dining table. He told Aaron to go out, he didn't want him to be around this was going to be a surprise.

"Hello!" Chas called as she walked in smiling.

Jackson turned. "Alright?"

Chas nodded. "Yeah, yeah you?" she said as she placed several shopping bags down.

"Yeah so so" he smiled.

"Decorating, you haven't long since done it!" she chuckled.

"Yeah I know but my boyfriend's breakdown damaged them a bit, it would have been an easy fix but I thought I might aswell and it might make it homier..."

"A dark red?" Chas criticised with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah why not?" he laughed. "Not the whole room would be too dark that way, just the one wall, the rest will be lighter, I hated these brown walls anyway, Declan wanted them that way, if we move I'll change it back" Jackson let out a breath. "It's a surprise anyway, after what Aaron told me I want it to be his home, I didn't realise how much it affected him"

"How are you doing with it all? Been two days..."

Jackson shrugged. "Not sure my priority is Aaron you know, I'm tired I know that much" he chuckled.

"I'm not surprised, oh love these are for you..."

Jackson frowned curiously and walked to the covered sofa after placing down his roller and peered into the shopping bags.

"Just a few dining sets, a set of mugs, a set of glasses, and a few cutlery sets, oh and utensils aswell..."

Jackson could feel a lump in his throat forming and his eyes stung as the tears came.

"...there's still some here but most he managed to bend or snap completely" she shook her head with a smile. "I'm thankful he didn't wreck the pans, wouldn't have been able to carry it all"

Jackson let out a sob and covered his face with his hands.

"Oh no, love I-I'm sorry, come here" she held out her arms and hugged him.

"No, it's not you Chas it's just Aaron I'm so worried about him, he seems better but I can't help but not you know"

Chas nodded and rubbed his back gently before they parted.

"And you didn't have to get all this stuff but I'm so grateful, Aaron would be too"

"I know Jackson" she smiled. "I wanted to help so I wouldn't worry, this place needs to feel like a home again and if there's anything I can do then I will...so take them, fill those cupboards again" she smiled.

Jackson nodded. "These uh dining sets...haven't got flowers on them have they?" he asked with a chuckle as he wiped his tears away.

"No course not, although I was tempted!"

Jackson smiled. "Good, he'd have had a fit if they were 'I'm not eating off them'" he added in mocking of Aaron which made Chas laugh.

"Tell you what, you crack on with the paint, I'll get these unpacked and I'll give you a hand" she saw Jackson about to speak. "No arguments, day off anyway, I'd just be sat in reading a magazine anyway"

"Alright" Jackson nodded. "Thankyou"

"You're welcome" she took the bags in the kitchen and began to unpack it all. "Where's your mum anyway Jackson?" she called.

"She stayed back in Tenerife; she gets back in a day or two I think"

"Are you going to tell her?"

"No, I think its best it stays between us here"

"Yeah, might be a good idea, oh did Gordon come back yesterday?"

"Yeah, he's not the easiest man to like especially knowing what he did to Aaron" he said as he painted.

"How did it go?" Chas wondered as she placed a stack of plates in the cupboard.

"No idea, they just went out, when he got back he just told me they went for a walk and then to the woolie for a pint, didn't mention what was said or nothing..."

"In time..."

"Yeah...like everything lately eh?" he called back.

...

"Dad give me a minute yeah" Adam said to his dad as he walked to meet Aaron after he saw him approaching. He walked several metres until he saw the sheepish expression on his face. "Alright?"

Aaron nodded without making eye contact. "I-I came to apologise"

"Accepted"

Aaron finally looked up at him, confused. "I was horrible to you" he said with a questioning gaze at Adam.

"But I didn't realise what kind of a state you were in then"

"Ahh...Paddy?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah he told me about your rampage when he came to check out one of the cows"

Aaron nodded. "I didn't mean the things I said, the way I was with you"

"I know and I didn't mean what I said to you either"

Aaron smiled. "Mates?"

Adam grinned and pulled him into a hug. "Come here ya div!"

Aaron smiled and hugged back tightly.

When they parted Adam leaned down to tighten his shoelace, then smirked when he saw a puddle of mud, he grabbed a handful and slapped it onto Aaron's leg.

Aaron felt the slap of the mud on his trackies and looked down with his mouth wide open.

"That's for being an idiot!" Adam grinned then started to make a run for it.

"Oh you're not getting away with that Barton!" Aaron laughed as he ran to catch him.

Thirty minutes later both boys walked into the kitchen covered in mud. Moira just turned her head as she dished out the dinner. She frowned. "Friends again then boys?"

Aaron smiled. "Yeah...this was him telling me how much of an idiot I was"

"And this was him getting back at me for hitting him with it in the first place"

"Oh have a good roll around then?" Holly asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"Certainly did" Aaron grinned then winked at Adam which earned him a slap on the arm.

"Even if I was gay mate, you're not my type"

"I bet...especially not covered in that..." Holly smirked.

"Right then, Jackson will kill you if you go back to the house in that state, you know where the bathroom is, I'm sure we can spare some overalls till you get home" Moira told him.

"Right, cheers..." Aaron thanked her as he removed his shoes then made his way upstairs.

"Oh and you son know where the hose is" she smirked.

Adam let out a laugh. "No chance"

Moira turned to her son with a cheeky spark in her eye. "Who says I'm joking?"

...

A few hours later Aaron opened the door to Dale head and stepped in, he didn't make it that much farther, he was stopped in his tracks, the smell of fresh paint, how amazing and different the house looked. "Wow..."

Jackson turned to face him with a smile. "Was going to be a surprise...nearly done" he told him as he walked over to him.

"Well I'm surprised Jackson, wow...you did this for me?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah" he cupped Aaron's cheek in his palm. "This is our home, me and you...I want you to feel that it is"

"I do, this is amazing, thankyou" Aaron really was lost for words.

Jackson leaned closer and kissed him passionately which led to a full on embrace.

Seconds later Chas' voice pulled them back. "Right boys, come on this place is nearly done, get finished with hooking that TV up while I put out tea"

"God she's bossy isn't she?" Jackson asked with a smile.

Aaron chuckled.

"I heard that"

"You were meant to mam" he smirked as he walked in and sat on the sofa. He looked around. Everything was different, a new dining table, a new TV, the decoration, and many more things. It felt better now.

"You're mum she bought us some new kitchen stuff, quite a bit actually, really grateful"

Aaron smiled. "Me too, although I shouldn't have smashed every single thing"

"It's in the past Aaron, leave it there" Jackson told him.

"Wise words those son" Chas chirped in as she placed down two meals on the dining table. "Grubs up!"

Thankfully, Jackson was finished and so was the house, back in order, a new order the way it should be. He smiled, happy he'd managed to do it with help and he sat beside Aaron at the table and placed his hand on his leg as they began to eat with Chas.

...

Night had drawn in, the living room was in low lighting, comfortable, warm and cosy with the fire going. Aaron lay on the rug in front of the TV, while Jackson sat beside him; they weren't watching the TV however. Jackson was changing Aaron's bandage on his stomach. Aaron thought it might be better if he was laying flat and it proved to be.

After his breakdown, both Aaron and Jackson now saw the extent of damage he'd unknowingly conflicted upon himself, bruises, small cuts on his arms and hands, and the twisting, stretching and harsh movements of his body had delayed the recovery of the stab wound, it had seeped blood slightly. Jackson was now concentrating on cleaning it with an antiseptic liquid.

"What did you do today babe?" Jackson asked his voice raspy as he was unusually relaxed, what he was doing was therapeutic he felt.

"I went to see Adam, I apologised"

Jackson smiled. "That's good, did he accept?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah...then we had a mud fight" he smirked.

"Eh!" Jackson laughed.

"Yeah I know...but we did...was fun, cleaned up at the farm though"

"I wondered why you came back in overalls, just assumed you were helping" Jackson replied as Clyde walked up and sat himself down in between Aaron and the sofa. Aaron reached out and stroked him while they talked.

"Nah, purely because were being kids" he smiled.

"Glad you had a good time and made it up with him"

"Me too" their eyes met in that second.

Jackson looked back and placed the bandage down onto his stomach. "This might hurt"

Aaron nodded and braced himself and Jackson began to press down to make sure it was stuck to his skin. Aaron winced and closed his eyes and then let out a slow breath as the pain faded. He opened his eyes as Jackson's lips met his, he instantly groaned. "W-What was that for?" Aaron asked, breathlessly.

"Because I love you and we haven't been close in a while"

"I know" Aaron nodded. "I'm sorry"

Jackson smiled. "Your battered and bruised...but...it'll get better...I'll always love your body no matter what and I'll always love you with all my heart, so whenever you feel like that again alright. You have to talk to me, even if I'm at work I don't care, I won't care if it's four in the morning because I love you Aaron, I love you so much"

Aaron nodded intently as he listened. "I-I-I will, I will, I love you too Jackson, I didn't mean to hurt you"

Jackson shook his head. "You didn't"

"No, not physically..."

"Hmm...Nothing that won't fix, it's just been tiredness more than anything"

"Well tonight we'll get a good night's sleep" well Jackson would anyway. "And if I hear nothing that won't fix, again, it'll be too soon" he chuckled.

TBC...


	21. I Could Never Be This Lucky

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"I Could Never Be This Lucky"

This fanfic continues **two days after **_Back In Business_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

A new day was only just breaking; the sun was low on the horizon the night only just giving way to the new light. However even that little amount of light was blocked by the trees making up the wood around home farm. Aaron took in a breath as he walked and let it out slowly and was able to see it in the air, it was a cold morning.

Jackson rolled over in bed and his eyes opened when he realised Aaron wasn't beside him. He leaned up onto arm and frowned, looking around the room, it was barely light and the house was silent, where the hell was he?

Aaron scowled, his eyes narrowing. "I woke up and for some reason I wanted a walk, just ended up here, home farm..." he let out a breath. "I don't know where you are but I didn't mean for you to die! It was self defence! And tonight I will sleep soundly because I will not feel guilty for what happened, you were scum I did what I had to do to keep myself safe...I hope you _rot _in hell for what you did to me!" Aaron raged as he looked around the woods, his voice echoing in the distance.

Jackson left the house in his work clothes and stood on the step looking around the village. He caught sight of David opening the shop. "Mate you seen Aaron?"

David turned, pouting and shaking his head. "No, why is everything alright?"

Jackson shrugged. "Not sure mate woke up and he wasn't beside me, I tried calling but there's no answer..." he sighed. "I'd go and look for him but I really do have to get some work done, it's piling up..."

"No worries mate if I see him I'll give ya a call and when Paddy comes for his paper I'll let him know"

Jackson nodded. "Right, cheers mate"

David nodded with a smile as Jackson walked to his van and got in, turned the engine on and drove away.

...

Aaron resurfaced in the village a few hours later when village life and the day were in full swing. He walked into the shop and grabbed a bottle of lucozade from the fridge and walked to the till. "Alright mate? Jackson's worried about you, he'd have went looking for you but he said works really piling up"

Aaron nodded. "Uh yeah, yeah I know, seems I can't go for a walk these days" he flicked up his eyebrows.

"Can you blame him?"

"Hmm point..." Aaron replied as he took out money for his drink.

"Oh and so you're aware Paddy's on the lookout too"

"Ah great" he sighed and handed the cash over, then pulled the lottery ticket from his wallet he bought a while ago. "Check that for me aswell mate please"

"Sure" David closed the till and checked his ticket. The machine began to print out. "Well you've won..."

"Oh wow" he said sarcastically. "Come on then get the tenner out your till" he joked.

"Erm..." David frowned as he examined the print-out. He swallowed hard. "This isn't something I can take from the till mate..."

Aaron frowned. "Eh?"

David then slapped the print out down on the counter. Aaron instantly picked it up and looked at it then let out an audible breath of air. "Ohhh...ohhh..." he dropped the bit of paper and placed his hands on the edge of the counter, then lowered his head, getting his breath. "This isn't happening..."

David laughed and rushed around the counter and helped him over to the stairs. "Just before you faint...come on..."

"One hundred...million...wow..." his voice whispery as David lowered him onto one of the stairs. "W-W-...uh hang on" he shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "W-What do I do now?"

"Call the number on the back mate, oh and make sure you sign, it and I'd make a photocopy of both sides too...they'll go through the process with you, there's a prize office in Liverpool so if they have to go through the prize process in person that's where you'll probably have to go"

Aaron nodded. "Don't tell anyone David, not Jackson, not Paddy, my mum, no one..."

"No of course I won't, it's up to you...to be honest it's probably best to wait until you actually have that cheque..."

Aaron nodded again. "Yeah...yeah you're right...you got a photocopier?" he smiled.

"Sure, just upstairs feel free...big ancient thing" David laughed. "But it works"

Aaron nodded as he began to stand.

"You sure you're alright to move?"

Aaron chuckled. "Yeah yeah I'm fine..." he said as he ascended the stairs.

David smiled and walked back to the counter.

A while later Aaron came back down. "Manage it?" David asked.

"Yeah, sorted...I rang them too and they asked for the serial number or whatever it is and I gave them my details and said it would have to be processed in person"

"So you've won then, definitely?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah I can't believe it..."

"Just some words of advice?"

Aaron waited to listen.

"Don't go mad with it, and don't let it change you"

Aaron shook his head. "Nah, I won't" he smiled. "Thanks mate..."

...

As Aaron walked over to the house he was met by his dad. "Aaron? You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah" he nodded. "I'm fine"

"You sure?"

Aaron nodded again. "Yeah I just had some news..."

"Bad?"

"No, no good actually...just don't know how to react...anyway what brings you here?"

"You obviously...how's things?"

"Better, wanna come in for a brew?"

Gordon nodded and followed him inside.

...

Hours later Aaron sat in the pub with Paddy. "You worry us all sick Aaron, he woke up and you weren't there, he called...and before you ask I know this because I rang him after David told me"

Aaron just sighed.

"Don't sigh at me"

"Well...Paddy...you're going on as if I was really, really missing"

"Because you might have been he didn't know how long you had been gone!"

"I'm allowed some time to myself you know"

"At six in the morning?" Paddy asked with a questioning gaze.

"Yes!" Aaron snapped. "Whatever time I feel like, I love you all but you lot need to give me space sometimes"

Paddy lowered his head and nodded then placed his hands flat down on the table. "Yes, I understand that but after everything Aaron we're just worried about you"

"Well you don't need to be"

"Your words won't stop us Aaron, whatever you say we know you're not yourself, not yet anyway so until we feel that you are we'll worry..."

Aaron rolled his eyes.

Sensing this was the time to change the subject Paddy did so. "How's it going with your dad?"

Aaron nodded as he took a drink of his pint. "Yeah, good...was a bit awkward at first, but we're talking now...working through things"

Paddy nodded.

"But I need you to know something, however far my relationship goes with him...you are my dad Paddy, I don't want you to feel" he shrugged. "I dunno...weird...awkward because of it because I think the world of you that will never, ever change" tears came to his eyes. "You took me in and you changed me, you helped me and I'll always be grateful to you for that, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't in my life"

Paddy smiled his own emotions clear and he reached out and placed his hand over one of Aaron's. "I know what you think of me Aaron, and I would never make you feel bad or think any less of you because of the fact that you want him in your life...I'll never do that, I just hope you get the relationship at a point with him you're happy with, I'll always be here for you as your dad" he smiled. "I'd like to think I' am"

Aaron nodded as tears dropped from his eyes. "Y-You are Paddy"

Paddy smiled and got up and moved around the table to give him a hug.

Jackson walked into the pub a few minutes later. "Ah so this is where you are!"

Aaron pulled a wary face. "You mad?"

"Won't be if you get me a pint in" Jackson told him as he sat down.

Aaron smiled and rolled his eyes as he got up to the bar and returned a few minutes later and placed his pint down in front of him. "Cheers babe"

"Right then I best be off, got some paperwork to do" Paddy told them and stood.

"See ya in a bit" Aaron smiled to him and watched him leave.

"So, did he give you an ear bashing?" Jackson asked with a smirk.

"He did and before you start let me just say I need my own space at times, whatever time of day it is...I just went for a walk"

Jackson pouted. "Alright then...well you're here and okay...so let's leave it at that" he smiled. "Good day?"

"Erm yeah, need to have a word about that actually...you?"

"Well I was expecting your dick in my arse, morning sex and all" he spoke quietly and winked. "But" he sighed. "It wasn't to be...work was fine, got quite a bit done"

Aaron nodded. "Sorry, tonight...definitely..." he smirked.

"I'll hold you to that"

Aaron laughed. "You do that"

"So what about your day then, you said you wanted a word about it..."

"I-I wasn't going to tell anyone until I got it...but you should know..."

Jackson frowned. "Okay..."

"Alright, I'll text you it and you have to promise to keep calm, no one can know"

He nodded, eagerly waiting for the text Aaron was typing. Jackson took out his phone ready. It sounded a tone seconds later. Jackson opened it. _**I've won the lottery, 100, 000,000 x **_His eyes widened and he slowly looked up at Aaron, initially speechless. "This a joke?"

Aaron shook his head and took out the print out and slid it across the table. "I called the number on the back" he explained as Jackson examined the piece of paper. "...gave them the number on the back and they said they have to see me in person to process the prize..."

"Where?"

"Liverpool and I have to be there in two days, got an appointment for two in the afternoon"

"Alright then...well maybe...we should go together...stay over at a hotel...spend some time together"

Aaron smiled widely. "I'd love that, but we can't tell anyone"

"God no, they'd be all over you like a shot"

Aaron could believe that and he nodded. "So an overnight break away with the love of my life" he smiled. "Can't wait"

Jackson smiled and leaned over the table. "Me either" he finished with a soft, passionate, gentle kiss on his lips.

TBC...


	22. Only One Place Left To Go, Now

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Only One Place Left To Go, Now."

This fanfic continues **several days after **_I Could Never Be This Lucky_

_Characters belong to ITV _

...

The early morning sun and the missing presence of his boyfriend roused him from his bed yet again; he was really tired this couldn't go on. He sighed as he wrapped his dressing gown around him and he made his way downstairs, when he rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs he saw Aaron sat in silence at the dining table. He sighed again and shook his head lightly as he walked over. "Not quite the face of someone with millions in the bank" he said softly.

Aaron just shrugged then got up from the chair. "I'll make breakfast, put the TV on or something it's too quiet in here"

Jackson pouted, frowns burrowing his brow. "Alright" he watched him carefully before he turned and walked to the coffee table and reached for the remote to turn the TV on.

Aaron took a bite of his slice of toast when a missing persons report began on the news; neither of them paid much attention until the news reader mentioned his name. _"...Tom Ryan-Wright has been missing for_ _almost two weeks..."_

Aaron choked on his toast and coughed to clear it. Jackson was watching the TV; he heard Aaron's reaction and frowned, but stayed quiet.

"_...alarms were raised when Tom was expected back from his holiday in Tenerife, records say he did return to the country but no one has seen him._ _His_ _family are extremely worried, if you have seen Tom, or think you may have any information as to his whereabouts then please dial the number on the screen, any information could prove vital..."_

"Jackson, you ok?" Aaron asked.

"Uh..." Jackson turned back around in his chair, an obvious troubled look on his face. "Yeah, yeah" he nodded. "That's just unusual for him that's all...hope he's okay"

Aaron swallowed hard then frowned at Jackson's words. "Are you being serious?"

"After everything he's done Aaron I was with him for years, caring won't stop..." he sighed.

Aaron looked to the floor and nodded. "Yeah, course...sorry"

"Oh and you need to get to the doctors cause you look exhausted and to be honest very ill!" his tone firm. "And waking up to find you not in bed is taking its toll, and you're middle of the night walks aren't doing you any good"

Aaron sighed. "I'm fine" he lied, he wasn't fine, not mentally and not physically.

"Really?" Jackson's eyes narrowed at him. "You're exhausted Aaron! You're white as a sheet; it's not only you who'll suffer if you end up in hospital ill!"

"Stop being such a drama queen – I'm fine!"

"Yeah" Jackson replied as he got up off his chair, and picked up his plate. "Let's hope so" he told him as he walked into the kitchen and put his plate in the dishwasher. "Thanks for that...gunna get showered"

Aaron rolled his eyes and watched him go, when he disappeared from view he dropped his head onto the dining table and wrapped his arms around his head. It's only a matter of time now...he knew it. It was all going to come crashing down around him and he didn't think he could stop it.

...

A few hours later Aaron briskly made his way to the garage. "Cain!" he shouted and instantly Cain looked up from underneath a bonnet. He frowned as he watched Aaron rush over, panic clear in his face. "Whoa, whoa calm down!"

"I can't!" he said quickly as he stopped in front of him.

"Why?"

"S-So you haven't seen the missing persons report on the news?" he asked and placed his hand over his mouth.

"No I haven't...They have no reason to believe he was here, the only link they might make is Jackson, you might get a visit but do not panic, they've just got to go through procedure..."

At that moment Jackson stepped out the back door of the house carrying a bin bag, as he lifted the bin lid he overheard Aaron speaking quietly.

"I can't do this Cain, I really can't"

"You will Aaron but you have to see a doctor because the longer these sleepless nights go on you will draw attention to yourself and it won't matter if you let it out because before you get a chance people will clock you before you even know! If you want to get through this then you have to pull it together, I mean it Aaron, you'll crack and it won't be good"

"I already have cracked!" Aaron snapped harshly.

Jackson listened intently, and quietly crept back into the house but listened in the doorway.

"Will you stop it!" Cain raised his voice but kept it low. "Everything will be fine, go in that house and get some sleep you look like hell"

"So I'm told" he sighed and walked away, at that point Jackson moved into the house and closed the door.

Seconds later Aaron walked inside and Jackson forced a smile. "Fancy the pub?" he asked.

"Uh..." Aaron sounded, his mind however was elsewhere. "Yeah, yeah whatever you want"

"Alright then"

A little while later they arrived in the woolpack and Jackson stood at the bar while Aaron walked to get a table. He was stopped along the way by Betty taking hold of his arm. "You alright love you don't look well"

Aaron frowned. "Well I feel fine!" he snapped and pulled his arm away. Jackson watched the exchange and shook his head and turned back to the bar.

"How are you both doing love?" Diane asked.

"Ahh seriously Diane" he spoke with an exasperated breath. "I don't know to be honest; he doesn't sleep so he gets fed up of it and goes for walks in the middle of the night. He doesn't talk either, not really" he shrugged. "He's exhausted and he's not well"

Diane looked at him sympathetically "You know what you need?"

"And what's that?" he asked with a slight smile.

"A drink and your mum in that order" she smiled.

Jackson chuckled. "Yeah that would be great, she's back in the country but I think she's gone to Auntie Polly's" he raised his eyebrows. "She'll be back soon" he nodded.

"Good" Diane smiled. "So two pints then?"

"Yeah please"

"Sit down I'll bring them over"

"Cheers Diane" Jackson replied and began to walk to the table Aaron was sat at but was stopped when Declan called to him from his table on the other side of the pub. Jackson turned and walked to him.

"Alright mate?"

"Better than you two by the looks of things"

Jackson nodded. "People are noticing then..."

Declan simply nodded. "Erm listen I was out early the other morning and I didn't see who it was and I couldn't hear the words but I could tell who it was..."

"Aaron?" Jackson asked quietly.

Declan nodded. "I know I didn't see him but you just know when you know a voice"

Jackson nodded in agreement.

"I don't know why he'd be on my land..."

"He's been disappearing a lot, sleepless nights so he tends to go walking..."

Declan nodded. "Ah right...just thought you should know..."

"Yeah cheers" Jackson walked away from the table feeling confused. Aaron's reaction to the news on the TV about Tom being missing, his quietness, his sleepless nights, and the mysterious talk with Cain. Jackson was beginning to feel the suspicion arising within him. He didn't know what it was, but something was being kept hidden and he needed to know what it was.

...

Aaron had already downed half of his pint within minutes of receiving it. "You wanna slow down a bit?" Jackson asked bluntly.

Aaron scowled. "No not really" he told him with a shake of the head. "Wish you'd stop going on at me" he spat.

Jackson then leaned into him making eye contact, his eyes searching his boyfriends. _"Or what Aaron?"_

Aaron sensed something in that split second and he shifted awkwardly and got up.

"Aaron?"

"Going home!" he yelled as he made his way out of the pub.

Aaron sat on the sofa staring at the marble fire base. He couldn't cope with it all, he was shattered and felt like crap, he sighed and kept his eyes fixed on the base. It was going to come out whether from his own unstable mind or from the police catching him out, the secret would come out and he'd be in prison. He couldn't handle that, and he couldn't handle Jackson hating him. The way in which Jackson had challenged him in the pub had certainly set alarm bells ringing. A row would most certainly ensue once Jackson came back, he knew that.

When the door clicked open ten minutes later Aaron gaze remained on the fireplace. "It's bloody raining again, I'm soaked" Jackson complained.

"Hmm" he replied.

Jackson walked to the window sill and leaned against it and just watched Aaron. "We need to talk Aaron"

"No we don't"

"Yes we do!" Jackson raised his voice causing Aaron to jump. Jackson sighed and allowed silence to engulf the room for a few seconds before he spoke again. "Shouting in the woods Aaron?"

Aaron frowned and turned to him and shrugged. "I was venting"

"If I remember rightly you did all that when you trashed our home"

Aarons scoffed. "Our home"

"Yes!"

"I'm eighteen for god sake, must have been a fool to think I could even play happy families"

"And what's that supposed to mean!" Jackson snapped.

"It means I made a mistake!" he shouted as he got to his feet facing Jackson now and made his way to the stairs, upon stepping onto the second stair Jackson pulled him back causing Aaron to fall against Jackson.

Aaron squirmed away from him.

"Yeah I think you did...but not the one you're on about"

"I have no idea what you're going on about" he turned, placed his hands at his waist and paced up and down.

"Oh I think you do...shouting at absolutely no one in the woods, can't sleep, wandering in the night, hushed talks with Cain...I heard some of it today...what have you got to keep together Aaron?"

Aaron stopped and glared at him. "Leave it Jackson"

"No...Sounds to me someone's suffering from a guilty conscience"

"As if" he laughed it off, but he knew it was.

"Where's Tom Aaron?"

That one question stopped Aaron and he frowned at Jackson. "Well I-I don't know do I?"

"The eyes don't lie Aaron and right now they're telling me you're lying!" Jackson raged.

"I'm not!"

"Just tell me the truth!"

"I don't know where he is" he replied again with the shrug of his shoulders.

Jackson shook his head and walked back to the front door and flung it open with force causing the handle to hit off the wall making the door bounce swing back. Aaron frowned. "Where you going?!" His frown deepened. "Oh god!" he uttered and ran out after him. Jackson wasn't making his way up the village but Aaron heard shouting from around the corner. His eyes widened – the garage. He ran round quickly and found Jackson in Cain's face.

"What are you two covering up!" Jackson demanded.

"Calm down will ya? Nothing why?" Cain replied.

"Don't lie! I heard your conversation earlier"

Cain's looked towards Aaron, his look deep but then he was caught by surprise when Jackson grabbed his neck and forced him up against the wall. Cain struggled to speak. "J-Jacks-on..."

"What is Aaron hiding for you!"

Aaron frowned and ran up to him and tried to pull Jackson away but his hold and stance was too strong.

"He's not hiding anything for me!"

Aaron was desperate now and used his frustrations and tried again to pull Jackson away. Jackson pushed his arm back into Aaron and he was flung back onto the floor. Jackson acknowledged what he had done but he wasn't moving.

Aaron winced in pain and placed his hand over his stab wound. He sat up. "Jackson! Let go!" he screamed.

Jackson did so and turned to Aaron.

"He's the one who's hiding something _for _me!" Aaron fought back, his tone volatile.

"But you're still hiding something!" Jackson spat. "I can't take anymore of this Aaron, we can't take anymore so whatever it is just fucking tell me! Cause you're driving me crazy with you! I'm tired, you're tired..." he sighed and shook his head.

"I swear to god Aaron, don't." Cain warned, breathlessly.

"Don't what!" Jackson raged.

Aaron swallowed hard.

Jackson quickly grabbed a crowbar that was leaning up against the wall next to Cain and swung round and smashed the driver's side window on a car that was inside the garage, the one he'd found Cain working on when he arrived. Pieces of glass showered over Aaron and he quickly covered his head with his arms.

"TOM!" Aaron yelled as the glass settled on the concrete floor

"Don't push me Aaron! What the hell is going on?" he yelled. It was doubtful that anyone heard any of what was happening in the garage it was raining so hard the noise from that drowned that out aswell as the village.

Aaron had never seen Jackson like this before, he was scared, and he slowly got to his feet, pieces of glass falling off him as he straightened out. He looked at Cain, his expressions were blank, no help to him whatsoever. He sighed. "Put that down Jackson you're scaring me!"

"Well now you know how it feels! Where have you two got Tom!" he demanded which received a response from Cain.

"Eh?"

"You heard me?" Jackson asked as he turned his head slightly in Cain's direction. "Well it makes sense doesn't it Aaron, after everything...getting back at him with your fists wouldn't have been enough"

"It would have been" Aaron replied in a quieter tone.

"Meaning...?" his eyes narrowed at Aaron.

"Meaning" he sighed as he lifted up his t-shirt. "This..."

Jackson looked down at the renewed bloodied bandage on his boyfriend's stomach. He'd caused it to bleed when he pushed him away. He never meant to hurt him, but then anger washed over him again and he flung the crowbar away to the other side of the garage followed by a loud echoing clatter as it hit the wall and then the floor. "You said it was a burglary!"

Aaron lowered his head and nodded.

Cain sighed and pushed his way past Jackson and held Aaron by the shoulders and pushed him away for a word. "This doesn't have to be it Aaron" Cain said in a hushed tone. "You can just tell him he left and that can be the end of it! If you tell him you can't be sure what he'll do!"

"No I don't...but he deserves the truth" he said as tears ran down his cheeks.

Jackson watched carefully as his own tears fell and then walked up to him. "What happened that night Aaron" he sobbed. "Just tell me, we can't carry on like this!" he urged him.

"Why don't you just shut the hell up Jackson?" Cain snapped.

In one quick breath he said it. He told him. "I killed him!"

Jackson's frown deepened and he had to lean against the car for support.

"NO! No you didn't Aaron! NO! He was going to kill him Jackson, that wound could have been one of many!" Cain defended. "He just pushed him!"

"Still killed him though!"

Cain grabbed him by the collar and shook his nephew. Tears were on the brink of falling from Cain's eyes, desperate and scared for his nephew. "No! Aaron it was self defence!"

"Oh god..." Jackson groaned as he slipped down the side of the car until he was crouched down against it. He shook his head and began to sob, and turned to Aaron with teary eyes.

Aaron sobbed too and they caught his breath and his shoulders jerked up and down. "H-He was coming at me again so I pushed him away...he fell back a-" his voice shook as he sobbed. "...and he hit his head, hit it off the fire base..." Aaron blew out a breath of air. He shook his head. "I-I didn't mean to hurt him" he put his head in his hands and wiped them down his face and they were at his side again in seconds. Aaron sighed. "I-I crawled over to him, his eyes were still open but he wasn't breathing...I-I'd be dead now Jackson...b-but..." his face strained by his emotion surging again and the impact his words he was about to say were having. "...by the look on your face now...y-you wish I was..." he let out a sob and he flinched away from the comfort of his uncle. "I'm really sorry Jackson, I didn't mean for it to happen"

Jackson was numb, listening and taking in every word Aaron was saying.

"I'm sorry" he repeated in a quieter tone before turning and running off into the lashing down rain.

"AARON! NO!" Cain yelled after him, but he was gone from view in seconds, his nephew could run. Cain dropped into the chair at the desk and looked down at Jackson. "He never meant for him to die Jackson"

Jackson shook his head.

Cain frowned. Was that a good sign? Jackson agreeing to the circumstances surrounding what happened that night?

...

Aaron slowly walked up the stairs in Dale head and turned the bath tap on as soon as he walked into the bathroom; he sat on the toilet, mindlessly waiting for it to fill. Steam filled the room within minutes. He tested the water another few minutes later. He removed his clothes and stepped in making sure he had the things he needed. He settled into the hot water. Soothed by the heat he began to relax. He reached for them.

Back in the garage Jackson was more with it. "Why did you do it Cain?"

"Because he's my nephew and I love him, he'd be in prison Jackson, they would have twisted the situation you know that" Cain sighed. "W-What are you going to do?"

Jackson shrugged and wiped his eyes. "I have to speak to Aaron first"

Cain understood that and he nodded. "Give it a minute though? D-Do you want a drink?"

Jackson nodded.

Minutes later with their brews in hand, Cain began to speak. "Listen Jackson...y-you can hate me but don't hate Aaron, he'd suffered so much from Tom, he just pushed him away for god sake...I'm the one who took his body and buried him"

"I know..." he nodded. "But you did what you thought was right at the time, and for Aaron...he's family..."

"And I do anything for my family, and I-I never thought this until now but that means you too now"

Jackson shook his head, not believing Cain's words, although he knew he was being genuine. "O-On some level..." Jackson began as he stared down into his tea. "I did love Tom..."

Cain listened.

"...but not enough because I fell for Aaron...I love him so much Cain...I-I don't wish he was dead like he seems to think I do. I hurt Tom and Aaron dealt with the backlash. He didn't deserve that and he doesn't deserve to be living with his guilt...I had no idea" he began to cry. "But everything is making sense now"

Cain nodded. "It's up to you what happens now"

...

Hazel sighed as she entered the back door of the house. "Bloody kids leaving keys in doors, should be grateful I could get in I suppose in this weather" she mumbled as she dragged her case in and closed the door. She turned around. "Oh...someone's been decorating" she pouted as she spoke to herself, she approved then sighed as she made her way to the stairs and hauled her case to the first floor. She walked across the landing and passed the bathroom, she stopped after a few steps, something wasn't right, red wasn't a colour associated with a bathroom so it caught her attention and she stepped back and turned and looked in the bathroom. She screamed. Aaron lay in a bath diluted with his own blood and an empty tablet bottle lay on the floor. Her entire body was shaking and she reached for her phone and dialled emergency services. They were on their way, then she dialled Jackson, she placed the phone to her ear and waited. "Jackson!"

"_Mum?"_

"You need to get home now!"

"_Why?"_

"I just got back and I came upstairs with my case and Aaron he uh...he's in a pool of blood in the bath and there's an empty tablet bottle on the floor" immediately three beeps signalled the end of the call, Hazel got downstairs as quick as she could and unlocked the front door and waited.

Jackson and Cain burst into the house seconds later and both of them ran up the stairs as quick as lightning.

"Oh god no!" Jackson cried as he approached the bath. Cain stood frozen in the doorway. Jackson couldn't break now, he couldn't. "Cain!" he snapped him out of his thoughts. "Hand me the towel in a sec I'm gunna get him out!"

"Uh..." Cain nodded. "Y-yeah..." he grabbed the large towel from the railing and watched as Jackson lifted Aaron from the bloodied bathtub. Cain walked closer and wrapped the towel around Aaron's naked body with the help of Jackson. Jackson fell to his knees with Aaron in his arms and he cried. "He's so pale..."

"Is he breathing?" Cain asked.

Jackson leaned down and listened. "A little..."

"What's that supposed to mean!" Cain asked angrily.

"I'm not a doctor Cain!" Jackson shouted and then noticed the vertical cuts on both wrists that were still seeping blood. Jackson quickly placed some of the towel on both wrists and held the towel down against his wrists with the palm of his hands, putting pressure on the cuts trying to stop the bleeding. "Don't do this to me Aaron please, we can sort this out! Please don't..." Jackson sobbed and rested his head into Aaron's neck. He let out a painful cry and kissed his neck. "Please Aaron...please..."

TBC...


	23. Because Of You!

AARON & JACKSON –

– DESIRE –

"Because Of You!"

Jackson, Chas, Paddy and Cain sat in the relative's room; it was decorated and equipped for comfort. The sofa that was vacant could be used as a pull out bed, coffee, water and vending machines stood in a row close to the door. But the room certainly didn't make Jackson feel comfortable and he'd been at the hospital since Aaron's arrival twenty four hours ago, his family had to vacate Aaron's room while the doctor checked in on him.

Aaron hadn't woken up yet, he was in a stable but yet critical condition. Jackson was exhausted shown by his face pale and his eyes filled with pain and worry over his boyfriend. No one was speaking, the room was silent. Chas reaction when she arrived in the hospital was something he and Cain would never ever forget, she fell to her knees crying her heart out when told the details of what Aaron had done. Paddy rushed in and like Jackson thought he would, he went instantly in search of a doctor to find out what was happening and as they'd guessed Paddy came back with no news. Paddy and Cain left in the late hours of the night but Chas and Jackson remained, after both having to force Cain and Paddy to give in and just go home. They weren't going anywhere.

The silence was broken. "Two times too many..." Cain said with a sigh and the shake of his head.

Paddy sighed and rubbed his eyes, he hadn't slept much the previous night. He nodded in agreement. "You're telling me"

"Any idea why?" Chas asked quietly, turning to Jackson.

"I-..." he shrugged. But he knew why, but those reasons weren't for airing to members of Aaron's family, or anyone for that matter, it was Cain and Jackson who only knew and it would stay that way. "I think everything has just got on top of him...I-I knew he was struggling" he lowered his head and clasped his hands together. "I should have saw what was coming but I didn't...If I could have stopped this I would have"

"It's not your fault Jackson" Paddy told him.

"Paddy's right" Chas agreed.

Jackson shrugged. "Doesn't make me feel any better, he felt helpless..." he sighed.

"But now we know all of us are here for him" Chas replied.

Jackson lifted his head and nodded.

A little while later the doctor had finished checking on Aaron and came back to the relatives room to let them know they could sit with him again. Chas told Jackson to go on alone to give him some time with Aaron without their prying eyes watching and intruding. He slowly walked to the private room and eventually walked in. He lowered his head at the sight before him, the sight he should be so used to by now, he'd sat with him during the night. The wires attached to his chest and the IV on the back of his right hand was clear to see, so were the bandages around both wrists. Jackson stood at the side of the bed and took Aaron's hand gently in his, tears fell from his eyes as he looked at him, he was peaceful, colour had slowly returned to his face, and his breathing was slow and steady in time with the beeping of the machines by the bed.

Jackson sighed. "I didn't want this Aaron, b-but what you told me it shocked the life out of me, I couldn't move I couldn't think let alone speak...I can imagine the look on my face but I did not wish you were dead instead of _him_, I don't know how you could even think that, you are my life Aaron..." Jackson spoke quietly all the while keeping his eyes fixed on Aaron's closed ones. "You did what you had to, to protect yourself. I believe you had no intention of killing him...you aren't a killer Aaron...and you, you deserve better than this!" with such emotion he slammed his fist down on the side rail. "I'm not going to the police Aaron, it shocked me but...I understand the events of the night, I've had time to think like I say...and I know you'd be the one dead now and not him if you hadn't of got him away...b-but now...you, you're lying here helpless and I can't do a thing to help you!" Jackson began to cry and he shook his head, he was annoyed at himself, annoyed that he should have followed when Aaron ran out of the garage, and annoyed that he should have picked up on it all way before now.

Jackson let out a gasp when he felt Aaron's hand tighten around his and he looked up and watched as Aaron stirred and his eyes began to flicker open. "It's not your fault" Aaron's voice was very quiet, raspy and rough. "I'm so sorry"

Jackson smiled as the tears just flowed now; he raised Aaron's hand and kissed it. "You'll be alright" he nodded. "You will"

"I just wanted it all to go away" Aaron's chest rose quickly and he let out a shaky breath as his own emotions threatened to consume him.

"I dunno what I'd do if I lost you" Jackson told him.

Aaron then sighed and his expression went blank. Jackson frowned. "It doesn't matter..."

"W-What do you mean?" Jackson's frown deepened. He didn't understand, in one split second Aaron changed completely.

"I'm back to square one, only it's a completely different situation and it's not Paddy who's here this time it's you"

"Aaron?" Jackson was definitely confused, and sheer dread began to envelop him.

"I don't want to be here anymore" he shrugged and turned his eyes away from Jackson. "I can't be here, I killed a man and I deserve to be punished...and all this talk...what you're saying it would all change as soon as I got out of here, you're going to hate me, you'll be scared of me and I can't take that aswell...get out!"

Jackson straightened his posture, obviously taken aback by Aaron's words. "Aaron?"

"We can't be together anymore" Aaron said shaking his head. "You can call the police all you want, I'll go to prison I don't care, but if you wait till I get back to the village then by the time they get there I'll be dead anyway...so..." he shrugged.

"How can you be saying all of this?" Jackson raged. "I told you I won't be telling the police!"

"I took you away from Tom and don't deny it, you loved him...I took him away from you...me and you..." he shook his head. "Were never going to work, not really"

Jackson sighed. "We've been through this!" he replied through gritted teeth. "Y-You're just having another break-"

"Breakdown?" Aaron pouted. "No, not this time..." But he was.

"Aaron please" Jackson sobbed. "You didn't kill him, he fell"

"Because I pushed him!"

"Because he would have killed you otherwise!" Jackson shot back.

"Well I wish he had done!"

"At the time you didn't...you only feel that way now because of the pain you're in, what he caused!"

"You have no idea what that night has done to me! You weren't there; instead you were off with your mates"

"I wondered how long it would take, what happened on holiday didn't just affect you aswell you know! I needed space, time to think, relax..."

"You text Tom that day Jackson! And you left me"

"He didn't reply! I thought he'd left it!"

"How could you have known that? He had his invitation and he fucking came!" Aaron sighed.

Jackson lowered his head and nodded. "I know. I know it's my fault"

"Just leave Jackson"

"I will, but if you think for one second I'm leaving for good you are mistaken and if you think your words are driving me away. Think again!" he spat. "Because they won't, they never will, I love you too much to walk away and stop caring about you, your going through a horrible time and I will be here for you"

"I won't give you a chance" he said in a threatening tone.

"I'll make sure there's a chance because you won't be alone long enough to do something so stupid again!" anger filled his tone. "D-Do you have any idea what finding you like that has done to me, you lying in a pool of blood, overdosed and cut to shreds?"

"I'm sorry you had to see that. Now leave" heartless words from a conflicted and hurt mind.

Jackson sighed. "I'll be back when you've calmed down" he stepped away with tears in his eyes. He stepped outside and leaned against the wall, he wiped his eyes and composed himself enough to let them all know Aaron was awake. He popped his head in the door of the relative's room and did just that.

Concern washed over the three of them. "Jackson?" Chas asked after him when he suddenly left, she got up and ran out into the corridor and watched Jackson briskly walking away. "Jackson!" she yelled but got no response.

...

He was thankful his mum wasn't in when he'd got back; she didn't want to stay there after finding Aaron so Diane invited her to stay at the pub. News of Aaron's suicide attempt had probably reached everybody in the village. Everything in the house was as left, Jackson sighed as he looked around. Would this be it now? Him coming home to an empty house? Well Jackson decided in that moment that, that wasn't going to happen, he and Aaron would be together again and after everything was better, they would live a happy life, he was determined to get to that day. But his thoughts had to be stopped, he had other matters to tend too, he sighed and he walked into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of disinfectant and a sponge, and he walked upstairs to the bathroom. He let out a shaky breath as he approached, he closed his eyes then on reopening them seconds later he walked in, seeing the still filled bath, blood had ran down the outside of the bath but the inside of the bath was much worse. He reached down and pulled the plug out and just sat waiting for the bloodied water to drain away.

Ten minutes had passed and Jackson was leaning over the bath scrubbing away, the blood was disappearing with a few pressured wipes with the sponge. Jackson was struggling to keep his tears in and he endured his own breakdown, grunting and letting out exasperated breaths of air as he ferociously wiped the bath clean. He hadn't heard the footsteps coming up the stairs due to the increase of his sadness. Jackson threw the sponge from his hand and placed his hands over his face and he cried, he cried hard until he was crouching down. He felt arms around him and it stopped him crying. He turned around quickly, it was Cain!

"Oh..." he swallowed hard and wiped his eyes.

"No...It's alright, Jackson..."

While taking in Cain's words he shook his head, it wasn't alright!

"I-It is, it is..."

Jackson sobbed again, his shoulders jerking up and down in response and he was pulled into a hug again.

"Just let it out" Cain soothed.

It took Jackson a good fifteen minutes to compose himself while Cain took it upon himself to finish what he had started. The bath and the entire room itself felt clean again. Jackson let out a breath of air. "Did you speak to him?"

Cain nodded. "After you walked out, Chas told me to go see if he was alright...he wasn't..." he explained as he leaned against the bathroom wall with his arms folded across his chest. "He told me what was said and I had a few choice words for him of my own, the things he told me he said to you were bang out of order" he sighed, still in disbelief Aaron had said those things to the man he said he loved. "He told me everything...I calmed him down a bit but he still hates himself for what he did and I told him it wasn't your fault, he didn't say anything...which was strange he usually has a comeback with me but I suppose he wasn't brave and strong enough"

"Will he ever be again?" Jackson asked.

"What? To spit venom back at me?" Cain smiled. "I hope so, but I know what you're saying and we are the only people who can help him, Chas and Paddy don't know everything so they can help to an extent but it's us Jackson just me and you who know..."

Jackson nodded. "I told him I wasn't going to the police"

Cain nodded. Aaron told him that too. "Thankyou"

"I love him Cain, I couldn't do that...I know what happened to Tom was horrible but it was self defence and what you did afterwards, burying the body was to protect Aaron, the police would have twisted the whole story to suit them, I know that"

Cain nodded. "I just feel that what I did was pointless because I'm worried he'll crack and tell the police, but that's up to us to prevent, we have to sit him down when he's out of hospital and talk to him...he needs to realise he did what he had too, he didn't know the outcome"

Jackson smiled slightly. "Sounds easy doesn't it?"

Jackson saw him immediately as he stepped into the bathroom. Cain turned and Jackson stood up, shocked.

"Excuse me?" Adam asked the frown on his face obvious he'd heard most of the conversation.

Cain glared at him. "What the hell are you doing here?" he growled.

"T-The door was open, I thought something was wrong, I was on my way up to the hos-"

Cain lunged at him and grabbed him by the collar as he pushed him up against the bathroom door, Jackson rushed to try and pull him away. Cain was having none of it.

"What the hell did you hear!" Cain demanded.

Adam struggled but managed to speak. "Some of it...e-e-enough..."

Cain let go of Adam and sighed as he rubbed his eyes.

"Do you have any idea what you've just got yourself into?!" Jackson shouted, demanding an answer.

Adam nodded, nervously. "Yeah..."

"Jesus Adam..." Cain said.

"Look, h-he's my best mate, and I know he wouldn't have meant to kill Tom, but it happened and he doesn't deserve to be put in prison for it...I-if..." he chuckled. "If you think for one second I'm going to drop him or you both in it then you're wrong"

Jackson was surprised, his eyes narrowed at him, he didn't understand, he and Adam hadn't got on since Adam found out he was sleeping with Aaron behind Tom's back. "Adam..." he started quietly.

"Look! Jackson I don't like what you got Aaron into alright! But he loves you...and that tells me all I need to know...my lips are sealed and your secret, his secret will _never _pass from my lips, I promise"

Cain and Jackson looked at each other then looked back at Adam. Jackson nodded. "Thankyou"

TBC...


	24. Angel Of Mine

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Angel Of Mine"

=Chapter includes sexual content!-

Two weeks had passed since his altercation with Aaron in the hospital, sleepless nights and general heartache occupied his free time. Aaron ignored him, he didn't want to see him, the feeling hurt so much, and it was unbearable. Sleepless nights, he just wanted him back he didn't care what he had done, he loved Aaron.

It was a hot day and with having a day off he sat on the step at the front door, in shorts and a t-shirt, he rested his arms on his legs and looked up at Smithy, no sign of anything, Paddy's car wasn't on the drive so that meant he was out on appointments. He just hoped someone was watching Aaron. Within seconds his phone beeped, he took it out of his pocket and smiled when he saw a text from Aaron, the first in a long time. But the contents of the message had him confused. _**I'm sorry x**_

A blind panic overtook him and he rang Chas. She picked up seconds later. "Chas who's watching Aaron?"

"_Eh? No one why?" she asked._

"Because he's just sent a text, I could be reading into it but he said I'm sorry"

"_Okay...maybe he is though..."_

"Well why do I have a niggling feeling then?"

"_I don't know go and check on him yourself if you're that worried, I'm not because he promised he wouldn't try anything again"_

"And he can be very convincing"

"_What do you care anyway?" Chas demanded. "You haven't been anywhere near since that day in the hospital"_

"And you know full well why I haven't!" he snapped. "He hates me"

"_No, no Jackson he doesn't, look he told me he wouldn't hurt himself again, maybe he's reaching out to you now and if I were you I wouldn't let that go"_

"Alright...I'm sorry..."

"_It's fine, just go and see him"_

"Yeah, see you later" he sighed as he ended the call. He stood up and grabbed his keys from inside and walked back out, locking the door behind him before walking up to Smithy. He knocked after hesitantly pulling his hand back a few times, but now he'd done it, he just waited.

The door swung open seconds later, Aaron looked nervous, but their eyes met and there was no denying that their spark reignited for both of them. Nothing was said however and Aaron stepped aside to let Jackson in. He walked into the kitchen and waited for Aaron to follow. Jackson stopped and leaned against the kitchen bench nervously.

"You uh...you got my text?" Aaron asked, his head bowed slightly, now averting eye contact.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, I-I pan-"

"I'm not going to do anything Jackson" he stopped him, needing to tell him that after sensing the way the conversation was going.

"I wasn't to know that" Jackson said quietly.

Aaron nodded. "Mum and Paddy made me see a councillor...my mum, she uh..." he smiled slightly at the memory. "...physically dragged me into the building, was so embarrassing"

Jackson's lips parted to a small smile. "How did it go?"

"Erm, yeah they're going okay..."

"W-What do they get you to talk about?"

Aaron pulled out a dining table chair and sat down facing Jackson. His arms lying across his legs with his hands clasped together. "What made me do it...I bended the truth there a bit; despite the 'nothing leaves this room' rule..." he rolled his eyes and let out a breath. "The feelings I have...my life, past, present...what I want in the future...I talk about you, our past, Tom...what happened there...I understand now" he nodded.

Jackson didn't know where it came from but out of nowhere he let out a sob and was crying, he put his hands over his face as Aaron stood up and walked over to him. He let out a shaky breath. "Oh...I-I'm sorry" Jackson apologised.

Aaron hesitantly placed his hand on Jackson's arm and rubbed it soothingly.

"C-Can you forgive me?" Jackson asked, their eyes meeting again, both searching each others.

"I don't need too Jackson" Aaron told him. "It was never your fault"

Jackson lowered his head and nodded as another onslaught of tears fell from his eyes.

"Question is..." he sighed. "Can you forgive me? For Tom, my behaviour, what I did to myself, for the hurt I caused you, for the lies...?"

"This is exactly what my sleepless nights have been preoccupied with" Jackson wiped his eyes and looked at him again. "I've thought about nothing else and the answer is I can, I already did it just took some time to realise...what you went through..." he shook his head. "It was horrible, it led to horrible things happening but I don't love you any less, I've miss you so much and I just want us to be happy...it can happen can-"

Jackson stopped when he felt the rough impact of Aaron's lips on his, Aaron's tongue licking his lips, begging for entry which Jackson eagerly allowed and now their tongues married in a battle for dominancy.

...

Aaron's head lay on Jackson's chest, Jackson held him tightly. "I love you Aaron" Jackson's voice was quiet.

Aaron smiled and turned his head up at him. "I love you too, we needed this..." Aaron looked thoughtful and Jackson could definitely see it in his eyes. "I-I'm sorry for everything, and these last two weeks away from you...I just had to find my way again and I hate to admit it but my mum..." he sighed, a small smile curled his lips.

"Well what did you expect?" Jackson grinned. "She's your mum, she'd do anything for you and she loves you"

Aaron nodded. "She never gave up, she was strong for me and tough with me when I needed it...I-I know two weeks isn't that long really but I do feel better, two weeks ago I hated the thought of me touching you, not because I didn't want too but because of what I'd done...for me this is huge...so I'm better, my mood is too, and now that I saw sense and text you we can start getting on track"

Jackson nodded. "I didn't come and see you because I thought you hated me"

Aaron shifted and leant up onto his arm, concern filling his eyes and he shook his head at Jackson. "No...No Jackson, I could never hate you, I didn't and I never will...I'm so sorry" he said with a sigh and wrapped his arm around Jackson and buried his head into his neck.

"I think we're both forgiven" Jackson held on tightly. "But from now on, no lies, no secrecy, I'm with you and that's through the dark times aswell I mean it Aaron, you are my life! I'm with you and I'm not going anywhere"

Aaron nodded his head against Jackson's neck. Then Jackson felt his warm breath against his neck as Aaron whispered. "I promise"

"Have you told anyone about the lottery win?" Jackson asked.

Aaron lifted his head quickly, his mouth open wide. "I totally forgot" he grinned. Jackson burst into laughter and wrapped his arms around him and both of them rolled around in Aaron's old bed. They calmed down after a few minutes. Aaron looked serious as he sat up on the bed with the duvet wrapped around him a little. "The house..." Aaron began.

Jackson had a feeling this would come. "It's okay..."

"I just can't Jackson...even when the session's end I just don't see myself being able to live there again"

"I understand, we can live here...I'm sure Paddy won't mind...he's probably been lonely until you came back"

Aaron looked at him in surprise. "You'd do that for me?" he asked as he felt his lips quivering.

"Yes" Jackson smiled. "I'd do anything for you, and anyway I like this house" he smiled. "We'll talk to Paddy"

Aaron nodded as he started to cry. He nodded again. "Thankyou so much"

Jackson shuffled across the bed and took him in his arms. "Everything is going to be okay" he whispered.

Aaron believed it would be, in actual fact it already was. "Why Jackson?"

"Why what babe?"

"Why do you love me?" he asked with a smile as he pulled away. "I don't see why...I-I don't get it..." he shrugged flippantly.

"Because you make my heart race every time I see you, you're sexy as hell, the scowls you wear well" he smirked, teasing. "You make me happy, you make me smile, you make me want to protect you, keep you safe which by the way I will in future, you make me see a future and you are in it always until the day I die, and your special to me, that's why I love you Aaron" he answered honestly, all the while keeping his eyes on Aaron's stunning blue eyes. "And..." he swallowed hard. "I've never being able to get lost in someone's eyes before..."

Aaron smiled. "We're going to be okay"

Jackson just simply nodded as they heard the front door of the house open and close then a yell. "Aaron!" it was Paddy, both lads sighed and quickly got dressed, both entering the kitchen moments later. Paddy turned round and stopped in his tracks and he smiled. "Jackson...Aaron and Jackson" his smile widened.

Both lads smiled and nodded. "Sorted" Aaron told him.

"I'm so happy for you both"

"Thanks Paddy" Jackson replied.

"Paddy erm, can we talk to you?" Aaron asked.

...

It was late evening and with Paddy's help Jackson had moved all of their belongings into Smithy, luckily both of them didn't have much. Aaron hated keeping the entire truth from Paddy but his reasons for not wanting to live in Dale Head were understandable, the stabbing. Paddy said they could live there almost immediately, he was happy about it which made them both happy.

Jackson and Aaron lay on the sofa watching a film, Jackson lay in between Aaron's legs with his head on his stomach, his hand holding Aaron's. He stared at the scar on Aaron's wrist and he traced the thin line with his finger. "Do they hurt?" he asked in a whispered tone.

"No" Aaron replied his tone the same, both men were relaxed.

"Good" Jackson replied as he looked at it some more. "I'll tell Declan in the morning he should understand" Jackson explained as there was a knock on the door. Jackson moved to get up. "Bit late isn't it" he asked Aaron as he stopped at the door then opened it.

"Jackson?" Adam asked.

"Yeah" Jackson smiled. "We're back together"

"Good, I'm glad...he's in then?"

Jackson nodded and moved aside and shut the door once Adam was inside.

Aaron watched Adam with a frown. "You...you look stressed"

"Oh trust me...you don't wanna know!" he said as he sat down in a chair.

"Well actually, I kinda do...I'm your mate"

Adam sighed. "It's Declan...the business with the farm...if we can't make the payments...then he'll sell it..."

"Sorry about that mate" Aaron replied but Jackson saw the look on his face, the one he made when seriously thinking.

"Nah it's not your fault mate I just had to get out of there for a bit...don't mind if I join you do ya?"

Aaron looked to Jackson. "No" Jackson said. "Course you can"

Adam smiled. "Cheers...this better not be Brokeback mountain!" he warned and both Aaron and Jackson laughed.

"Uhh" Aaron sounded. "if you actually look at the TV and watch for a second you'll realise it's die hard" he grinned.

"Alright sarcy...sheesh" he looked at his mate and smiled as he got comfortable.

"Adam?" Jackson asked. "Bottle?"

"Cheers mate" Adam replied as he settled into watching the film.

Aaron knew what he was going to do. He had to start doing something with his money. He would ask Paddy for his solicitor's number in the morning. He rolled his eyes. That would mean he had to tell him why. Well...everyone was going to realise soon enough why not start with him. He though as Jackson walked past him and handed Adam his bottle of lager.

The laughing, banter and playful messing around lasted until well after midnight. Jackson and Aaron were in bed within minutes of Adam leaving. Aaron lay over him, kissing him softly on his neck, quiet accepting groans filled the quiet air, Aaron continued down Jackson's body slowly, sucking and biting on a hardening nipple as he moved down, he slid his tongue down the centre of his toned muscled stomach and bit gently at the taut skin. Jackson moaned in response however Aaron planned on teasing him some more, he spread his legs wider and kissed Jackson's inner thigh, very close to the hardened cock that was begging for attention. Aaron smirked and blew on it, his warm breath brushing against his cock caused Jackson to moan again and shiver.

Lifting Jackson's legs in the air, Aaron sat up then moved back a little then leaned down, and pressed his tongue against Jackson's waiting hole, he felt it tense and relax at the circular motions his tongue was making. Jackson gripped the bed sheet, it had been too long since Aaron pleasured him, earlier that day it was he who pleasured Aaron. It felt amazing. He groaned and arched his back.

Then slowly he licked from the hole up to Jackson's balls and quickly he took one in his mouth frisking it with his tongue. "Fuck me" he heard Jackson ask breathlessly.

Aaron sat up and leaned down and kissed his boyfriend passionately. He stopped the kiss quickly, on purpose. He smirked at Jackson and bit his lip. He looked down at his own long throbbing member and took a hold of pushed his head against Jackson's hole. Jackson gasped slightly, then Aaron knew all he had to do was push, he removed his hand and placed both of them down either side of Jackson and he slowly pushed his cock into Jackson. Aaron closed his eyes and let his head fall back and he too groaned. His pace quickened gradually.

Moments later in the height of their love making, Aaron was lying on top of Jackson, their arms wrapped tightly around each other both men kissing as Aaron thrust hard into him, his balls making a slapping sound as they impacted Jackson's skin. When they stopped kissing, Jackson lifted up and bit, tugged and sucked at Aaron's neck.

Aaron winced but he bit his own lip, along with the pain it also brought immense pleasure. Then he felt Jackson move lower, and sucked on a nipple, however it proved awkward due to their position, Aaron had him pinned down and he loved every minute of it.

Aaron's moans became louder, his thrusts harder, deeper and faster than they already were. Jackson groaned at the change in pace, he felt his boyfriends cock blasting its way in, Jackson was being destroyed and he fucking loved it, the slapping noise from Aaron's balls became louder. "Ahh Jackson" Aaron moaned and then quickly pulled out and moved up Jacksons body, his legs either side of him as he stroked his dick fast. Jackson cupped Aaron's hot, sweaty balls in his hand massaging them slowly, he watched as Aaron's face strained, Jackson was ready for it, the slit of the head was only a few inches away from his face, he opened his mouth ready. "Shoot in my mouth Aaron" he whispered.

That did it, his entire body jerked, shivers covered his entire body as several bursts of hot, thick cum spurted from Aaron's cock and covered his face, the first initial spurts shot out, covering his cheeks, nose, some was even in his eye, on his forehead and in the soft brown curls of his hair, then as it lessened a lot dropped down into his mouth. Aaron was breathless, his heart pounded in his chest, he leaned back as Jackson wiped the cum from his eyes and finally opened them.

Jackson could see Aaron glistening from the sweat as the bedside lamp lit him perfectly, he stared at him as he leaned back with his eyes closed getting his breath back, Jackson bit his lip and tasted more of Aaron as he did, he watched as the muscles in his stomach contracted and relaxed with each breath he took. _God he's perfect _Jackson had to pinch himself sometimes, Aaron was perfect to him. His body, his heart, his mind – everything, then with a smile he lifted his head and took Aaron's cum covered, sensitive head in his mouth and sucked. Aaron groaned and once Jackson had sucked him clean he lay his head back down on the pillow and smirked at him.

Aaron smiled back and lay down on him again, kissing him passionately, tasting himself as he did, both wrapped in each other's arms, their legs tangled. Aaron relaxed around Jackson's arms, lying his head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat, feeling and savouring the feel of Jackson's body beneath his and smelling the manly scent of him.

They both slept soundly that night.

TBC...


	25. Change

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Change"

I'd like to think this was true :)

Thankyou all for continuing to read my fic, the reviews aswell are so much appreciated, and to those who just quietly read, I know you're out there so thankyou x

* * *

"Mam! Stop fussing over me!" Aaron said with a sigh as he lay on the couch in Smithy, he'd had a restless night and he didn't feel very well, his arms were wrapped around one of the cushions.

Chas shifted her son's legs and sat beside him, watching him with a concerned look on her face. "I'll always fuss get used to it" she told him and she watched him roll his eyes in response. "Get some toast down ya"

He scowled at her. "Don't want any"

Chas sighed. "Aaron, come on..."

"Mam please, I'm tired, I feel sick..." he turned away and closed his eyes. "Every time I move the room starts spinning at a hundred miles an hour"

Chas frowned. "And just started last night...?"

"On and off" Which earned him a sigh from his mother. "And Jackson do-" Chas was cut off.

"-Doesn't know, keep it that way"

"Alright, but I won't lie if asked, he'll notice anyway"

"Fair do's and he might but I just don't want him fussing like you have been, put people through enough as it is"

Chas looked more worried. "You're sweating aswell" she said as she reached over and placed her hand on his forehead. "Temperature"

"Mam, how long are you going to stay here? You moved in again after what I did, it's been three weeks nearly...Carl..."

"He's not important right now, you are"

Aaron resigned to that fact; he wasn't going to push her on that. "I just don't want Paddy getting the wrong idea"

"Me and Paddy have been getting on great, you know that..."

Aaron half smiled. "Yeah, it's been like a proper family, a mam and dad"

Chas smiled. "Speaking of are you and Gordon getting on okay?"

Aaron nodded and let out a breath. "Yeah, we're fine, haven't seen him in a few days though, don't you dare call him, the way he's been lately he'll be round like a shot, it's only man flu, I'll live"

Chas smirked. "Somehow, I find it difficult to imagine, him coming to see you because you're ill"

Aaron scrunched his face up at the thought aswell. "Nah, me neither" he laughed.

"Right you, just relax" she nodded to him.

"I already am!" he rolled his eyes then smirked, earning him a slap on the leg. He watched as his mother got up and left him alone with whatever he had on the TV.

A while later Aaron got up from the sofa and carefully navigated himself through the spinning room, he'd never felt this dizzy before and the heat he could feel radiating from himself was immense. He didn't like it. He stopped in the doorway to the kitchen and focussed on his mum reading a magazine. "Is Jackson home?"

"Yeah, what are you doing up and about?"

"Restless" he sighed.

"God son you look ill, think I better call a doctor"

"And he or she won't appreciate that when it's just a cold"

"It might not be!" Chas argued.

"Leave it!" Aaron snapped, he frowned his breathing was laboured, he struggled a bit. He hadn't seen Jackson step into the kitchen after showering and getting changed.

Jackson's eyes met Chas' "What's going on?"

"He's not very well love, apparently he didn't sleep much, tired, dizzy, feels sick, temperature you name it" she filled him in. "And he didn't want to tell you because you'd have fussed like I have been all day" she smirked.

Jackson nodded and walked straight up to him. "Come on then...Jesus Chas have you not forced any tablets down his neck, I could install him as a flipping radiator!" and he certainly wasn't joking.

"He's stubborn" Chas explained.

"Too right" he wrapped his arm around Aaron and led him to the sofa and laid him down, his hand was placed against his chest as he helped him, and he could feel the quick thumping of his boyfriend's heart, pounding at an alarming rate.

"Y-You two talk about me like I'm not..." he took a breath. "Not even here" he tried to smile. "I feel worse"

Jackson nodded. "It's alright I'm here" He was worried, should his heart be beating faster than normal? The beads of sweat on his forehead were unmissable and as for his body heat you just had to be a few steps away from him.

"How was work?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah good, catching up" he replied, noting the wheezing in Aaron's voice as he spoke. "Will you have some tablets for me?"

Aaron nodded "I won't argue now, I feel like shit" he chuckled.

"Good, two minutes" Jackson got up and walked into the kitchen and took out a tumbler and filled it with water and took two flu tablets from their foil holders and walked back into the living room again, immediately seeing Aaron was asleep. _That was quick_ he carried on walking over and placed the glass and tablets down. "Aaron" Jackson said a little louder to rouse him from his doze."Aaron!" he shook him gently. He panicked now. "Chas!" he yelled.

...

"Why is it taking so long?" Jackson demanded as he paced the relative's room in the hospital, Gordon, Chas and Paddy sat waiting patiently. After realising Aaron had slipped into unconsciousness and wasn't waking up Jackson hurriedly in a blind panic rushed him to his van and got him inside and drove with Chas to the hospital with him wrapped in her arms, holding him. Chas had rung everyone close to let them know but Gordon and Paddy arrived not long after they got there. That was two hours ago.

"They're just doing their job Jackson" Gordon explained. Jackson had kept away from Gordon and his and Aaron's relationship, it was something Aaron had to do himself, and truth be told he had no time for the man.

"Yeah I know that I just want to know what is happening to my boyfriend" he snapped.

"We're all worried Jackson, just sit down, grab a cup of tea..." Paddy suggested.

As Jackson sat down the door opened and a doctor walked in. "You're all here for Aaron Livesy?"

Chas quickly nodded. "Yes, yes we are, I'm his mum, what's happening?"

"We've made him comfortable and given him medication to lower his temperature; our tests have confirmed to us that Aaron has an infection called septicaemia...you may or may not have heard of it but basically it's an infection of the blood, blood is carried everywhere in the body which leads to it infecting and damaging the major organs of the body, this infection is lethal, fatal, in some cases but we've already started Aaron on the course of antibiotics but we will need to give him a blood transfusion..."

"Has his organs been affected?" Chas hesitantly asked.

"His lungs have yes but we are in the process of dealing with it, as far as we can tell the rest are unaffected"

"It was just like he had a cold or something" Jackson added, confusion across his face.

The doctor nodded. "Not the first time I've heard that" he smiled. "It's very common for it to appear flu like, you got him in early, it's a good thing, like I say this infection can be fatal"

Jackson nodded "You mentioned a transfusion?"

"Yes and I usually prefer it to be a family member"

Chas looked at Gordon and swallowed hard. "We're his parents..." she nodded to Gordon.

"Alright, if you come with me we'll get you tested, usually if not both one is a match" the doctor smiled as Chas and Gordon stood.

"Before you go" Jackson spoke. "How did this happen?"

The doctor let out a breath. "Infections happen every day, this is just a different kind...I noticed scars and healing wounds on Aaron, the infection could have found its way to his blood from there but I couldn't begin to speculate how, all you need to know is that he will be okay" he smiled before motioning Chas and Gordon out of the room.

...

"Jackson!" Adam called as he hurried along a corridor after spotting Jackson standing by a vending machine.

Jackson turned to him as he approached.

"How's he doing?"

Jackson nodded. "I haven't been able to see him yet but they've got him stable, his temperatures down now...his heart rate thank god"

Adam shared Jackson's relief. "I got here as quick as I could...nearly ended up in a fight with Declan before that though"

Jackson smirked and shook his head. "Why this time?"

"The farm, Mia..."

"Ahh...I see, well good luck with that" he smirked.

"I didn't come here to offload to you though; I'm here for you both"

Jackson smiled. "I know...cheers"

"How are you doing?"

Jackson didn't really know and he shrugged. "I-I dunno mate it's all happened so quick, not how I wanted to spend my Friday night if you catch my drift" he smirked but it quickly faded. "But when he wouldn't wake up I've never panicked so much in my life...I think I'll be expecting a speeding fine, or three through the post"

"But that's not what matters" Adam said softly.

"Exactly" Jackson said with a nod.

"What's happening now then?" Adam asked.

Jackson checked his watch. "Chas and Gordon have been in the doctor's office a few minutes now, should know which one of them is a match for the transfusion they need to give him, one of the nurses came in after they'd left for the test and said he has a rare blood type or something" Jackson shrugged. "Family were ideal and that the doctor insists on family either way"

"That's alright then" Adam smiled. "He'll be home in no time"

...

A deathly silence filled the doctor's office."B-But you said either one is usually a match..." Gordon repeated the doctor's words.

Chas had her head lowered; she never imagined this day would come. The situation about to come to the surface had always been in the back of her mind, she simply buried it, now it was about to come out and she felt horrible.

"Yes" the doctor sighed, watching Chas. He'd seen this many times before.

"Well then?!" Gordon demanded.

"That fact is correct, and if I'm being honest and in my experience, either Chas here isn't his mother, or you aren't his father"

"But..." Gordon frowned.

Chas instantly got up from the seat and stormed out of the office, followed quickly by Gordon."Chas!" he yelled and ran after her, seconds later grabbing her arm which stopped her.

Tears ran down her cheeks. "I-I'm so sorry"

"I'm not his dad am I?" he asked as his entire body tensed.

Chas dropped her head in her hands and sobbed, seconds later she shook her head.

Gordon's heart sank and he felt as though his stomach was rising. He was stunned, his mouth partly open in shock. "H-How could you do this to me?"

"I'm sorry I really am...I wanted it to be you...I mean that"

"All these years I've felt horrible for abandoning my _son_ and he isn't mine!" anger evident in his voice.

"Oh and that's suddenly going to stop you getting to know him now is it?" she snapped. "Now you're 'free' you can run again"

Gordon sighed. "Who is it Chas?"

Chas couldn't tell him, she just couldn't, all she said. "He's oblivious...he has no idea..."

"Make sure my son gets better, if he isn't mine tough, we've bonded, we're getting on, I'm not going anywhere...and the only reason why I'm not shouting at you is because we're in the hospital, and Aaron's room is metres away, he might hear. I know I wasn't in his life, but i still have a right to feel the way I do at this sudden news, you've broken my heart, _I_ love that kid!" he admitted through gritted teeth, he then stormed off, towards the exit.

Once she walked back into the relative's room it was obvious she's gotten herself upset. "Cain you err...you need to hear this..."

Jackson frowned. "It's not Aaron is it?"

Chas smiled through teary eyes. "No, no of course not love, he's alright, so they say, I'll ask about seeing him..." she looked back at Cain. "Now! Please..." _If I don't do this know I never will _she told herself and walked outside and waited for Cain.

TBC...


	26. And To Her That Is Her Deepest Shame

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"And To Her That Is Her Deepest Shame"

Medical stuff – I'm kinda just winging it to suit me, lol

* * *

Cain rushed outside the relative's room after seeing the panic in Chas' eyes. A disconcerting frown washed over his face as he closed the door behind him. Chas stood with her hands clasped together.

Cain's frown deepened. "Need to hear what? Well? The results? What is it?" he asked.

Chas began to weep and put her head in her hands. "Shut up" she groaned. "Shhh..." she placed her hands on her forehead, what the hell had she done? She shook her head which just confused and worried Cain more. "Chas!" he snapped.

Chas removed her hands from her face and sighed looking across to her brother. "Neither of us are a match" she explained.

"What! The doctor said if not both one of you would be!"

Chas nodded, she knew that. "Gordon isn't his dad" she sobbed and lowered her head.

Cain's eyes widened and he stepped back unknowingly, that information had knocked him. "I-I don't understand. Chas that's my nephew and your son in there, he could die! Who is it?" he demanded.

Chas sighed and sat down in one of the plastic chairs aligning the corridor. Cain watched her. "Do you remember when we were kids before we knew we were related..."

Cain nodded and sat down beside her.

"One night me, Charity, you and some of your mates went into town for a good old knees up but I disappeared..."

"Oh..." Cain smirked. "How can I forget, we spent ages looking for you, and you weren't with Gordon cause he was out with his mates..."

Chas nodded. "I-I met a guy, I was immediately attracted to him" she smiled. "We got completely trollied and we had sex" she sighed.

Cain closed his eyes. "Aaron?" he asked quietly.

Chas nodded. "Yeah...when I came to the village he was there..." Chas turned to look at her brother who was beginning to wonder now, as she guessed he would be. "He didn't remember me Cain...and he has no idea Aaron's his son"

"Chas, you need to tell me who it is, for Aaron's sake"

Her entire body tensed and she let out several shaky breaths and closed her eyes. She let out one more deep breath. "Carl. I-I-It's Carl"

Cain placed his hands to his mouth. "Oh Jesus..."

"You have to help me Cain" Chas cried and he pulled her into a hug.

Yes, he was shocked, completely but he soothed her like he would normally, it didn't matter now, what did matter was calming her down and helping her as she'd asked. "What do you want me to do?"

"I need you to go back to the village and I need you to tell him I need to see him, here"

Cain nodded. "No wonder they're always at each other's throats...b-but...getting him to be tested for the match is going to take some doing"

"I'll deal with that Cain I just want you to get him here"

Cain nodded and he stood. "I will, a-are you going to tell Aaron?"

"No" Chas shook her head.

"He'll find out you know, he's good like that"

"At some point I will!" Chas snapped. "Right now, I have to stop him from dying!" a lump caught in her throat and her voice cracked. "I made a mistake keeping it from Gordon, but I will tell my son in time!"

Cain nodded. "I'll go get him"

"Thankyou" she let out a breath.

...

A while later, news on Aaron had changed; he was getting worse rather than better. They were all told Aaron was now completely relying on the ventilator to breathe, the drugs and antibiotics simply weren't enough.

Jackson sat with teary eyes at his bedside, holding one of his hands. He looked peaceful and at ease. His chest rose up and down in a rhythm, a piece of equipment, he didn't know what it was, covered Aaron's mouth which held a tube in place that went down his throat to help him breathe. The beeps from the machines seemed to be drowned out as he watched his boyfriend and tears streamed down his face. "Open up your beautiful blue eyes, take my breath away like you know you do and see me like no eyes ever have, and I'll be ready, waiting" he sniffled and raised Aaron's hand and kissed it softly.

...

Carl rushed over to Chas and hugged her instantly. "I'm sorry you should have called me" he told her as he held her in his arms.

"I-I know...everything just happened so fast, and I was sat with Aaron and I knew you were out last night and it's just been crazy..."

Carl nodded, mentally now he had to force himself and he tried to make it look genuine. "How is he?" not that he really cared, he hated the kid, always would.

"Dying"

Carl frowned, now that was something he wasn't expecting. "They're trying to get a blood donor, he's a rare type apparently and without it his chances are..." she faltered and lowered her head, immediately though she felt his hand rubbing her arm gently.

"It'll be alright, he will be..."

"Carl, I have something to tell you, something I should have told you a long time ago"

Carl frowned. "Alright..."

"Sit down..." she advised.

"Oh, it's one of those is it?" he said as he moved to sit on a plastic chair next to her.

"Unfortunately" she nodded. This was so difficult, but she began...

"No, no...no.." Carl said while shaking his head adamantly after hearing the news.

"Carl I'm telling you the truth, my son is dying and I have no reason to lie!" she told him forcefully. "Gordon isn't his dad, you are and I need you to help him..."

"No I'm not" he frowned then sighed as he looked away shaking his head.

"You don't remember Carl but I do...I was young, I met you...we were smashed, we had sex...w-when I came to the village you didn't remember me, I'm not surprised either we met only that night...you gave me Aaron and I'm no doctor but I'm pretty sure they can match him to you while they do the blood test because I'm not lying, I hate that I've kept it to myself all this time! Buried it away" she sighed. "Right now I need your help, Aaron needs your help" she was pleading now. "I know it's a lot-"

"Aaron wouldn't let me do this" Carl replied nastily.

"Tough, he isn't able to make that decision! We're here and we have too!" she snapped. "I'm not asking you to be a father to him, he's got Paddy for that!" she sighed and went quiet for a few seconds. "Please, Carl...he's my son and yours too...you'd do it for Thomas and Anya"

"But I know for definite they're mine" he argued, rubbing his forehead.

"And you'll know for definite soon that he is too, please Carl!" At that moment Cain stood close to them both.

"If you don't do this and he dies..."

Carl stood up defensively. "Or what!"

"I'll kill you" Cain snared, tears even brimming in his eyes. "Do one good deed in your life!" he said through gritted teeth.

"Like you can talk"

Cain sighed. "Please Carl"

"Well well, well...Cain Dingle reduced to begging" he smirked, amused by the sight.

"Because he's my nephew, family and I don't want him six feet under anymore than you do, like Chas said we don't want you trying for father of the year!"

Carl looked at Cain, then back at Chas then lowered his head and sighed. "Alright, alright...where's the doctor?"

...

Jackson hadn't heard or seen Paddy walk into the room until he was sat on the opposite side of Aaron's bed. He came out of his reverie and looked towards the older man. "Sorry, world of my own"

Paddy smiled. "Sometimes imagining a better world in times like this helps to ease the panic"

Jackson chuckled slightly and shook his head.

"What have I said?" Paddy asked quietly, concerned now.

"I wasn't thinking of a better world Paddy..." he looked across to him. "I was imagining a world without Aaron in it and to be honest, I couldn't do it" a sob escaped him. "I couldn't" he shook his head and lowered it allowing tears to fall.

Paddy instantly got up and walked around the bed and comforted the younger man. "Aaron's going to be okay" he reassured.

"We don't know that"

Paddy sighed. "I wasn't sure to tell you because I can't understand or believe it myself...Gordon didn't match, neither did Chas..."

Jackson's sobs increased. "That doesn't help Paddy"

"But Carl does" he blurted out quietly, which stunned Jackson into a silence.

Letting a few seconds pass to take it all in Jackson then looked up at him through teary eyes. "Wow..." he'd never actually been speechless before. "He's his..."

Paddy just nodded. "I know, I know...it's a horrible thought...Chas kept it to herself all this time, Carl didn't know, apparently they met on a night out...Carl didn't see her after, he didn't remember her when she came to Emmerdale..."

"Wow..." he repeated again, in a whisper, obviously shocked. "Aaron's going to flip..."

"Err...we aren't telling him" Paddy added. "We can't Jackson, you have to promise...if Aaron knew Carl was giving him blood, he wouldn't let him near, but he doesn't have that choice, we have to do this and he has to be kept in the dark. I hate doing that, I hate keeping things from him but Carl doesn't want any more to do with him than he already does, it works well...everyone's happy"

Jackson sighed. He was too exhausted to even argue their decision. "Alright, alright...it stays secret"

Paddy nodded. "You should go home and get some rest Jackson...he'll be having the transfusion soon anyway, it'll take a while I imagine..."

"I don't want to leave him"

"And what good are you to him ill?"

Jackson nodded. "I'm not..." he stood, letting go of Aaron's hand, he leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I love you" he whispered.

Paddy smiled. "I'll call you if there's a change"

Jackson nodded and smiled at him. "Thanks Paddy"

...

The dark night had set in after checking on Aaron, it had been a long, long day and she just wanted to sleep, but she couldn't. She sighed as she walked into Carl's room, the doctors suggested he stay overnight, the after effects of giving blood, especially the amount he had too would cause adverse affects. She smiled a tiny smile as she approached his bed. "Aaron King..." he smirked and shook his head.

Chas raised her eyebrows as she sat down in a chair. "Doubt that'll ever happen...thankyou"

Carl nodded. "I just don't get it Chas...Six years...six years I've lived in that village, we got together a while after...you could have said something"

"Yeah! Because it was really that easy when my...our son at that age ran rings around the both of us, he hated you, still does and you hate him...it would never have been a happy ever after"

Carl rolled his eyes. "True"

"How you feeling?" she asked.

"Bit drowsy but nothing I can't handle...and this revelation isn't helping any either"

Chas bowed her head and nodded. "You had to know..."

"Yeah, doesn't change anything though, you know that"

She did.

...

Jackson had slept a few hours, eaten, showered and changed into some fresh clothes, it was just gone nine when he walked into the woolie. Jai, Declan, Katie, Gennie were at one table, Ryan, Adam and Andy were on another, and there was a table where what Aaron would call the oldies sat all together. He smirked as he turned to the bar, greeted by Moira. "Hiya love, how's he doing?"

"Err yeah" Jackson nodded. "Paddy called and said he's got the blood type he needs and is having the transfusion now...doctors are hopeful"

Moira nodded as she pulled him a pint. "How did it happen?"

"They think it was from his wounds, they just got infected, well the blood did...just worsened over time" he explained.

"Well at least he's on the mend"

Jackson smiled as Moira placed the pint down in front of him.

"On me"

"Cheers, erm Moira...I don't mean this to sound off but I kinda thought Adam would have been at the hospital more than he was"

Moira's shoulders slumped. "Yeah so did me and his dad" she said as she looked over at him at the table with Andy and Ryan. "We had no problems with it; we think..." she sighed. "I didn't say this alright? But we think he's scared..." she explained.

Jackson frowned. "Why?"

"Because he's seen Aaron in so many states lately, he's scared he'll lose his best mate and I don't blame him"

Jackson nodded. "I'll try and get him alone and have a word"

Moira nodded and Jackson casually looked around to the quieter side of the bar "Err, how long's he been here?"

Moira followed Jackson's eye line. "A few hours why?"

Jackson shook his head as he grabbed his pint. "Excuse me" Seconds later Jackson sat beside Gordon, placing his pint down on the table. Jackson took a breath. "I'm sorry Gordon" he said quietly.

Gordon was drunk, had been drinking for hours, drowning his sorrows. "What's the point? Sorry doesn't change anything"

"It's a shock to us all, but you and Aaron are getting on you aren't really going to leave him now are you?" he asked, suddenly realising this was probably Gordon's train of thought since finding out.

"Why do you even care? Why are you even talking to me? You never bothered before"

Jackson sighed. "Because I didn't like what you did to him, kicking him out and all that...he was a lost kid, you know that now but why couldn't you see it then?" Jackson asked with such feeling, he felt his emotions rise and had to keep them in check.

"Don't interrogate me. Alright, I made mistakes, I try and make amends and everything gets good then this happens...you have no idea...it doesn't matter" he sighed and spoke in a defeatist tone

"You're wrong...see, I thought my dad was someone I could look up too...someone who wouldn't care what I was or what I did...turns out I was wrong and he hit me...you never knew Aaron was gay, you never hit him, well I hope you didn't...but you chucked him out without knowing what that did to him...my dad has no idea what he did to me that day...I'm telling you from a sons point of view that I do care about what happens to you and Aaron from now and it certainly does matter that you stay in his life because he's gotten that trust back. I never will achieve that"

Gordon smiled a little. "Well then he's a fool, you're a good man Jackson"

Jackson smiled. "Are you going to tell Aaron?"

Gordon paused for a second then nodded. "I'm not going to lie to him"

Jackson nodded, he agreed. Aaron needed to know despite what Chas, Paddy or Cain had decided.

TBC...

I know I was leading it to Cain; I did that purposely, a twist! You know what I'm like lol, I just want to clarify however that I have read 'Winter' and I wouldn't _**knowingly**_ copy another writers idea :)


	27. The People Who Matter

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"The People Who Matter"

* * *

Aaron had been awake since the early hours of the morning, the transfusion seemed to have worked, and Jackson just cried and cried when he watched Aaron wake up.

Chas and Jackson now sat metres away from each other in the relative's room, Chas hadn't slept properly since she got there days ago she looked exhausted. "I thought you wouldn't be talking to me" Chas stated quietly.

Jackson glanced towards her. "I thought about not bothering" he said in a sigh as he rested his head back against the wall. "But then I thought what's the point, you can't change what you did, you can't go back and make it be Gordon"

Chas shook her head. "I wish I could"

"Yeah well" he looked across to her. "In a way I'm glad you can't, I love Aaron the way he is, different circumstances he probably would be different"

Chas dipped her head and wiped away a tear. "I'm going to tell him"

"That Carl is his dad?"

She shook her head slowly. "No, just that Gordon isn't"

"Well, I told Gordon it was Carl..."

"Why!" she demanded in a screech.

"Because he needed to know" he replied sharply, a glare in his eye.

Chas' eyes widened and she jumped from her seat and ran out of the room, along the corridor several metres to Aaron's room where Gordon sat by his bed. Both men turned their attention on her. She watched, from the smile on Aaron's face Gordon hadn't told him, but she knew he would have at some point. It wasn't up to him; it was her job to tell him.

"Hi..." she flashed a smile. "Can I have a word with Aaron please?" she could have easily said 'my son' or even 'our son' but she didn't want to rub salt into Gordon's wound by saying either.

Gordon nodded and he turned back to Aaron and he stood looking at him with a smile. "I'll be back later"

Aaron nodded and smiled. "Alright" he watched his father leave and his mother take his place in the seat beside the bed.

Chas smiled. "How you feeling love?"

"I'm ok" he nodded.

"You've got some colour back, much better" she smiled again, unable to stop the tears from filling her eyes.

Jackson stood outside, pacing slowly, keeping a vigil in case things took a turn for the worst. Chas bolted from the relative's room because she was horrified that Gordon was telling Aaron everything. Jackson knew that straight away, and if she was now intending to tell Aaron, he had to be there.

"What's wrong?" Aaron asked with a frown.

Her tears fell in fear that this would be the last conversation they had, that she had with him as his mother.

"Mam!" he demanded softly.

"The doctor told you everything?"

"Down to the search of a donor and everything like that yeah" he nodded. "Mam why are you crying?"

"Because Carl was the donor Aaron, Gordon didn't match because he's not your father...Ca-"

Seconds later Jackson stopped in his tracks and turned to face the door. Undeniably the screams and shouts from inside the room were from Aaron. "Get out! Get out! _Get. Out!" _he shouted louder, and when he heard Chas' whimpering cries Jackson couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"How could you do this!" Aaron demanded. "You've had plenty of chances to tell me!"

"And your reaction would have been different would it?" Chas asked.

Aaron's silence told her the answer. He was shaking with anger, she could see it. "You _need_ to calm down!"

"Don't you dare start telling me what I need! You've interfered with my life every single day since I started living in the village, thinking you had that right! Well you didn't!" he spat angrily. "You had a ton of chances to tell me _he _was my dad! But you didn't, I hate him and I certainly hate you! Get out!" he yelled.

"Aaron love, please..."she pleaded.

Aaron shook his head. "I don't want anything to do with you" he kept his gaze on the thin bed sheet covering him.

The door swung open. "Don't you dare speak to her like that!" Carl spoke with a raised voice, Aaron looked up.

"Oh look, mum, dad and son" Aaron sniggered and shook his head.

"Exactly, shake your head like that cause your nothing to me Aaron, and do you want to know something?"

"Not particularly" Aaron rested his head back against his pillow.

"Tough, the one I feel sorry for in all this is your mum! Having to put up with you and me! She deserves a fucking medal after everything you've put her through!"

Aaron sighed. "Get out, both of you!"

The door swung open again, he couldn't take anymore. "Unless you two want to inflict more damage to him than there already is I suggest you do as he says" Jackson spoke confidently, he stood straight and looked from Chas to Carl, and back again.

Chas backed down and stepped away. "I-I didn't mean for any of this" she sobbed as Carl put her arm around her.

"You aren't my mam! You're dead to me!" Aaron screamed which spurred on louder sobs from Chas as she cried against Carl as he led her out passed Jackson and into the corridor.

Once they had left Jackson ran to him and took him in his arms and Aaron clung to him, now letting out his own sobs. "It'll be okay"

Aaron just shook his head.

...

Aaron opened his eyes slowly and was aware of someone sitting at the side of his bed, he turned and saw Paddy and he smiled. "How long have you been there?" he asked his voice sleepy.

"Over an hour" Paddy replied with a slight smile. "How are you feeling?"

Aaron shrugged. "I'm just tired all the time"

Paddy nodded. "The doctor said he'd be able to let you come home tomorrow if all's well"

Aaron nodded. "Good"

"Your mums moved back into Carl's, she knows you won't want to see her when you get home"

Aaron nodded again.

"Are you okay?" Paddy asked as he leaned forward in his chair.

"Got to be" he gave a quiet answer.

"No" Paddy shook his head. "No, you don't Aaron. It was a huge shock"

"Carl though?" Aaron grimaced. "I'm related to that!" he sighed.

"I know, Jimmy's not so bad but Carl...I wouldn't wish my own worst enemy to be related to him" he chuckled. "But Carl doesn't want anything to do with you in that way s-so everything will just be as is"

Aaron nodded. "Fine by me"

"Is it really?" Paddy asked and he nodded.

"I just feel sorry for Gordon"

"Me too"

"Paddy I've been meaning to tell you something, it's good so don't panic"

Paddy frowned. Something good to tell him? When did this ever happen? He waited with baited breath.

"A few weeks back I bought a lottery ticket and I won...a lot..."

Paddy nodded, his lips pouted, certainly was good news. "How much is a lot?"

"A hundred-"

Paddy groaned.

"-Million" Aaron continued and he smiled when Paddy's jaw dropped.

"Excuse me" he laughed.

"You heard" Aaron laughed too.

It was a nice sight to see. "Wow, congratulations Aaron that's amazing news, what you gunna do with it?"

Aaron let out a breath and he shrugged. "No idea, might ask Debbie if she'll let me co-own the garage..." he chuckled, no harm in trying. "...But I'm gunna help John and Moira out at the farm, they need money to keep Declan off their backs so it's as much for Adam aswell as it is them"

Paddy smiled. He couldn't believe how generous Aaron was being. It was a lovely, another side to him that just continued to surprise him. "Who else knows?"

"Just Jackson, oh and David obviously he checked the ticket for me"

"So that weekend away with Jackson, that was to sort it all out?"

Aaron nodded. "I'm going to give everyone some, it's only fair" he smiled. "Family comes first, but not Carl"

"That's fine" Paddy completely understood.

"I'll set aside some for my mam, maybe one day" he shrugged again. "Who knows...we might talk again, Jackson's getting some, although he doesn't know it"

"You sure that's wise?" Paddy asked.

"Why?"

"He's your first boyfriend Aaron, that's why, who knows when it could end"

"Exactly" Aaron smiled. "And anyway me and him have been through a lot, I'd like to think we're solid" he said with a nod. "And then of course there's you" Aaron came over emotional and his lips quivered and he sniffled. "My dad" he smiled as his eyes filled. "I feel so bad for Gordon I do and we'll still keep in touch and stuff but you are who I see as my dad and you have no idea how much I wish you were"

Paddy nodded, crying silently too. "You keep your money Aaron, I'm comfortable...steady" he told him.

"But I want too Paddy, there's got to be something you'd want to do with it"

Paddy chuckled. "I'll have to think about it but most definitely"

Aaron nodded with a smile and rested his head back into the pillow. "Sorted"

...

It was gone eight in the evening now and Aaron was watching the TV, he'd not long had food for the first time since he'd woken up, he'd had hospital food before and this time had only reaffirmed to him how disgusting it was, the horrible bland taste lingered in his mouth, god how he could eat a bacon sandwich right about now. He was looking forward to going home. He looked towards the door when he heard muffled voices outside of it and two shadowy figures through the glass.

"Aaron's fine, he's not going anywhere...he'd want to see you Adam...go on...its fine" Jackson reassured him.

With a deep breath Adam opened the door and walked in and was greeted by a smile from Aaron then his tears started again. He'd been really scared lately of losing Aaron, so much had happened to him in the space of a few months and he didn't think he could bear it if he'd lost him.

"Hey mate..." Aaron sat himself up a little more; frowning at the state Adam seemed to have been in and was again. "It's ok" he nodded.

Adam caught his breath rubbed his eyes as he sat down. "Sorry..." he felt embarrassed. "I-I didn't come to see you, well I came to the hospital but I didn't see you" he then looked at Jackson who gave him a reassuring nod, he turned back to Aaron. "I was scared, scared of losing you...I-I just kept thinking back to when I was pulling you out of that car in the garage and seeing you lying on the forecourt like that and it breaks my heart all over again, and then there's been everything since, I can't lose you mate and I don't want too"

Aaron swallowed hard, aware that his own eyes were glassy, genuinely moved by his best friends honesty. "I'm sorry mate"

Adam shook his head. "No, you don't need to be"

"I'm here and with Jackson, you, Paddy and well err Hazel..." he smirked. "I think I'm safe"

Adam chuckled and nodded.

"Damn right you are ya little shit..." Jackson added with a smirk as he stood with his arms folded across his chest at the foot of the bed. "Worry me sick"

Aaron nodded. "I know and I'm sorry"

"Stop apologising" Adam told him. "Anyway, I heard about...you know"

"Hmm...It's weird, I can see it...in some stupid way...the connection...me and Carl, I don't think I look like him but there's something now I know I can tell, just gotta move on, nothing's changed between me and him"

Adam nodded.

"Where is Hazel anyway Jackson?" Aaron wondered.

"Oh trust me she's on her way" he told him with a grin.

Aaron rolled his eyes and smirked. "Oh before she comes I had an idea, us three...we could go on holiday if you wanted?"

"Eh?" Adam asked shocked. "How? I'm skint, Jackson's works piling up and you don't have a penny to your name"

"Well actually he does, but he'll tell you that story another time" Jackson added with a smile.

"So" Aaron nodded. "It's on me; we'll sort it when I get out tomorrow"

"Sounds good...but no planning, not straight away you're resting mate and don't worry about Clyde cause I'll walk him" Adam told him.

Aaron nodded. "Fair do's"

A few minutes Gordon walked in and stopped when he saw Aaron already had company. "No, it's alright" Aaron told him. "Come in"

"We'll go and find my mum anyway" Jackson said with a frown. "She was just in the shop, said she'd be five minutes" he got up, kissed Aaron on the lips and left the room with Adam.

Gordon smiled gratefully at Jackson and Adam as they left; he stepped into the room and smiled at him. "Chas called me...crying her eyes out apologising, saying you knew and well...I cut her off" he explained.

"I don't know what to do"

"How do you mean?" Gordon asked.

"With you...I still want us to keep in touch but if you don't want too then that's fine" he explained.

"No, no I do..." Gordon nodded. "I was there in the beginning Aaron...I brought you up until well I'll not go there but I was a father to you, I know you've got Paddy but I'd still like to be"

Aaron nodded. "I'd like that too" in that moment the door opened again.

"I said to myself I said Hazel, that boy needs feeding up so I took it upon myself to smuggle in a McDonalds..." she grinned happily as she walked across to the bed before dumping a brown take-out bag in his lap.

Aaron grinned. "Wow, thanks"

"Not a problem" she grinned again as the boys followed her back in.

"Right come on then, there's got to be enough seats in here, but you..." Aaron eyed Jackson and patted the space on the bed beside him.

Jackson grinned. "What about the wires and tubes though?" he asked as he approached.

"It'll be fine! Come on get on here" Aaron told him and then looked back at Gordon and gave a small reassuring nod.

Gordon smiled back, happy to be a part of Aaron's life again.

"Eh, where's ours?" Adam asked with a laugh.

"Oi you" Hazel gave a disapproving tone. "I just got a mixture, in this bag" she placed it on the bed beside Aaron's legs. "Help yourself all of you" she told them and smiled at Gordon. "You must be Gordon"

Gordon nodded. "I' am"

"Well thank god for some fathers for seeing sense and making amends eh?" she rolled her eyes and couldn't miss the look Aaron and Gordon exchanged then a smirk played on their lips.

"Oh be quiet you" Jackson told her as he munched on a chicken nugget. "You know he'll never want anything to do with me"

"Well good job you don't need him" Hazel stated and Jackson felt exactly the same.

Adam reached into the bag and pulled out a cheeseburger. "Sheesh..." he stared at the takeout bag Aaron was eating from. "Special treatment eh?" he shook his head in mock disbelief.

"That's because I' am mate" Aaron grinned sarcastically. "You just haven't caught on yet!"

Laughter came from those in the room and Aaron grinned, he looked around them, Adam, Hazel, Gordon and Jackson, he then smiled, nodding, a confirmation of his thoughts, the only thing missing was Paddy and Cain then he thought...if they were there then his family would be complete.

TBC...


	28. Me, Myself, Then Jackson

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Me, Myself, Then Jackson"

A bit of a different chapter, not all of it though but I don't know how it's going to go, never written like this before so I hope it's good :)

* * *

My first day home wasn't too bad, although Adam, Jackson, Paddy and Hazel all told me in no uncertain terms was I to move off the sofa unless I needed the loo. I sighed and rolled my eyes in my usual manner. I listened, kinda had to with all them in the house, I just wanted to stretch my legs and walk, get some air but I wasn't allowed.

It's now gone three in the morning and Jackson's lying beside me asleep, the first few hours of his breathing was amazing to hear but now it's seriously doing my fucking head in, I can't sleep I've literally tried everything, counting sheep, yeah like that's ever worked! I sigh, and as quietly and slowly as I can I peel myself off the mattress and out of the bed – its pitch black I can't see a thing.

After grabbing what I can see of my clothes that I abandoned on the floor hours previously I head out of the bedroom quietly and sneak across the landing. If anyone wakes up right now, world war three will begin, Paddy and Jackson have no idea what it's like, not totally...I just physically can't stay in the house all day and hospital or no hospital it's just tough.

Why, why –Why! Does the front door creak when it's opened? I sigh and shake my head and quickly walk out of the house closing the door behind me, I quickly note aswell that everything seems so much louder when there's no other noise, I might aswell have just slammed the door behind me for what good it's done. I sigh and I decide to hang around for a while, see if I've woken anyone. The moments pass slowly and I'm grateful that no light is turned on, I can feel myself relax. It's one of those mild nights, not cold but not warm either, just nice. I smile when I feel a square box in my pocket I pull it out, Jackson would kill me if he knew what I was about to do, especially after having blood poisoning. I snigger and shrug as I light the cigarette, what they don't know won't hurt.

Ahh it feels good, it's been a while, I sneak one every now and then when I know Jackson's at work or popped out, if he knows then he hasn't told me.

I lower myself onto the door step and lean against the solid red door behind me. I look around the silent eerie village only lit by the street lights casting an orange glow around. I look up and the stars are shining bright, there are tons of them! I never really take notice I'm either usually in bed with Jackson or absolutely smashed out of my face leaving a club with Jackson...well that hasn't happened in a while.

My eyes fix onto a blade of grass in between two small flagstones. And suddenly my thoughts go back to the affair, Tom, the holiday, the injuries I got while there and then everything that happened once we got home. Self defence it may well have been but I'm a murderer, in my mind I' am anyway. I haven't vocalised that in a while, I'd be shot down by all in sundry if I did, I know they love me but it doesn't change the fact I killed someone.

I got away with it, but maybe I should have told the police. I sigh and close my eyes as I place the cigarette to my mouth again. I tend not to think about it all too much, I just end up going round in circles which does me no good at all, my counsellor said that I'm here and to live each day...whatever she means I don't know, I'm a mechanic, I'm someone's boyfriend, someone's son, someone's nephew, cousin. I do what I can but now in the harsh dark of the night I realise me, Aaron Livesy...is a selfish twat! I can feel my body tense with a tinge of anger at my own admission, probably because I always knew it.

Paddy has put up with me for years and I've just took, took, took...I should have been thrown out ages ago. He certainly deserves so much more, and doesn't deserve the crap I bring to this cottage.

My mum...well I sigh instantly at that because of the recent news that I'm Carl King's son...ha...me...him...yeah now I would murder him purposely, maybe a bit harsh Aaron but no one can hear what you're thinking, I smirk at myself and shake my head slightly. But in all seriousness I'm absolutely gutted, I'm gutted for me, I'm gutted for Gordon, she could have told us years ago but instead she left it so long until it had to be revealed. Parts of me want to think she did it to protect me, other parts think it was to protect herself. I'm not happy about it and Carl can jog on, I'm happy having no bond with him. Yeah I'm not happy about it and my reaction was a case of letting my mouth engage before my brain did, I could have handled it better, and I know she's sorry...another case of being selfish...I treat everyone like crap and it's not fair I need to sort myself out otherwise one day, it'll all go too far and I will be alone, Paddy will have given up on me and so will my mum. I think I should talk to her. The one thing I've realised over the past few months is that life is too short, I could die tomorrow and the thought of ending it all on bad terms churns my stomach.

I never had much of a relationship with her, it was only until a few weeks before I told her I was gay that things seemed to settle and they did, we got on great but now, well I'll get it back to that – somehow.

I yawn and I rub my eyes, then I suddenly smile because I understand everyone's need to protect me but I can look after my- hmm actually you know what I don't think I can, I chuckle at myself and shake my head. I'm a mess and I can barely manage to look after Clyde never mind myself! Another thing Paddy's dealt with, Clyde. It's not fair.

I can feel myself getting worked up now. And then there's Jackson, what the hell does he see in me? I scrunch my face. Oh I have no clue, but I love him and he's another person who I need to treat better. Maybe everyone for that matter. I nod my head and I feel my eyes sting with tears and they fall. I let out a deep breath and fall back as the door is pulled away from me. I quickly throw the cigarette and turn around; I wipe my eyes and flash a slight smile – Jackson. My Jackson.

Yep, I definitely need to treat everyone better and I have to stop being selfish, my mum is the first one I have to deal with, everyone else will come easy.

...

Jackson frowned, instantly seeing the tears in Aaron's eyes, he knelt down. "What you doing babe? What's the matter?"

Aaron shrugged. "I've just been thinking about stuff, worked myself up a bit" he nodded.

"Hmm" Jackson cocked an eyebrow then nodded. "Come here" he held his arms out and Aaron immediately moved into his waiting arms. "You stink"

Aaron couldn't help but smile and pull away, before Jackson could see him he wiped the smile from his face. "I've smoked for years, it's not big, cool or clever I know, I do it cause sometimes I just need too" he explained.

"Aaron" Jackson said in a sigh as he lowered his head.

"Look, look..." Aaron took a breath. "I know what you're going to say..."

"What?"

"The blood infection, poisoning and all that"

"Exactly!"

Aaron looked away and looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry" he said quietly.

Jackson nodded. "What have you been thinking about then?"

"Just stuff, don't really wanna talk about it"

"Must be something to make you cry" Jackson added with a raised eyebrow.

"I-" Aaron stopped and sighed. "I just realised some things that's all, and those things need to be changed" he said with a nod. "I'm not the same person I was when I met you properly that night in bar west and I want to be again, I will be" he nodded, staring at the doorframe. "I-" a sob escaped him. "I'm a horrible person and I know when it all started" his sobs increased and he dropped his head onto his raised knees and wrapped his arms around his head, completely taking Jackson by surprise.

Jackson hesitantly placed his hand on Aaron's back and then began rubbing in circular motions to soothe him. "What's all this eh?" he asked quietly.

Aaron didn't want to go into detail, he'd already gone through it himself in his mind. He sighed and calmed down. "I think it's just with everything that's happened..." he explained as he wiped his eyes. "And I couldn't sleep, you know what that's like you just lie there thinking over and over about stuff until you've had it and you get up, I need to make some changes Jackson otherwise I'll end up alone" he explained.

Jackson frowned. "Hey no" his tone was whispery. "I'll never leave you Aaron I love you for you" he smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and wiped his tears away.

"But what if the love you feel for me just disappears and you wake up one day and leave"

Jackson shook his head with a smile. "Never going to happen"

"Promise?"

"Promise" Jackson told him and kissed his lips softly.

If Jackson could promise that then Aaron would change, he'd do his best.

"Come on, hot chocolate...I'll make it, you put too much in" Jackson told him as he stood up.

Aaron instantly frowned. "I do not!"

"Err, yes you do, I asked for a hot chocolate ages ago and I got chocolate tar, and who puts sugar in it aswell, just wrong"

"Well I do" he told him with a smirk as he followed him into the kitchen. "And I'm sure some other people do aswell"

"Yeah well all I can say is if you lose your teeth...I can't be doing with that" he smirked, indicating he was joking and that, that wouldn't happen. Aaron always brushed and more so he was careful.

"You are mean"

"And so are you, I told you no more nights waking up and you not being there" he told him as he flicked the kettle on. "I forgive you"

"Just wait till you can't sleep..." Aaron warned him, staring right into his back with narrowed eyes.

"Oh no, the only time I can't sleep is when we're up all night fucking each other senseless" Jackson turned around to face him, a sparkle in his eye.

"Forget the hot chocolate shall we?" Aaron asked as he moved towards the stairs.

"Sounds like a plan..." Jackson said quietly, turning off the kitchen light as he followed his boyfriend. He had to look after him. He'd certainly do that.

TBC...


	29. I Will Be A Better Man

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"I Will Be A Better Man"

* * *

I close my eyes as the hot steaming water pelts down over my face and I let out a deep breath as I begin to think about the past three months, its possibly been the worst time of my life, yeah it's affected me a lot but it's Aaron I feel for, I love him so much that I get angry at myself for leaving him alone that night, I try not to think about it but I imagine he'd have been so scared when Tom was in the house with him and then stabbed by him, tears now, it always happens when I think about that night because if I hadn't of left him he wouldn't have been hurt and he wouldn't have been driven by fear to push him away which resulted in Tom dying.

I see the guilt he carries around every day, although he is much better than he was its still there and I doubt it'll ever leave him. I did love Tom for a long time but things changed between us long before I set my eyes on Aaron, it just wasn't working. I shrug but when I saw Aaron in bar west, wow, I mean to me he was just perfect, absolutely stunningly gorgeous, I think I fell in love straight away...then we had a very passionate night together – I'll never forget it.

I turn the shower off and reach for the towel, wrap it around my waist and sit on the down toilet seat, I rub my eyes, I didn't get much sleep last night, after finding Aaron at half three in the morning on the doorstep we then went back to our bedroom and made love, he's perfect even with his imperfections but who hasn't got them? I certainly have a few, see this is what I don't get about Aaron, after we had sex in the early hours, he whispers and says I'm so lucky, I smiled and kissed his forehead but honestly I'm the lucky one.

I smile, I can't believe he won the lottery, it just doesn't happen to someone you know, I know he hasn't had even a second to really think about it all but from what I've listened to him talking about he's really doing it properly, helping his family and friends, of course he'll indulge but I'm on hand to smack him back to reality, I don't want him to be one of those winners who have everything then, six months maybe even a year down the road, he's skint...I shake my head I can't let that be him, he needs to be careful and be wise with it, that's my job I think, keep him real, because anything less than real is just a failure, a letdown of you are.

Speaking of keeping it real, he certainly is at the moment, the scowls are in full swing, the frowns, tutting whenever me and Paddy dare him to leave the house, I chuckle then I hear the bathroom door knock then the sexy voice of his, I sigh, completely content.

"Jackson! What the hell are you doing in there! Come on I need a piss!"

I roll my eyes. Typical but yet I still smile. "Two minutes" I say and I hear him walking off huffing and puffing.

I know he's out of hospital but he's still really poorly and I vowed to myself last night as I followed him upstairs to bed that I'm going to look after him, and I am, he deserves nothing less. He's more vulnerable than he'll care to admit at the minute, after the revelation on who his father is I'm not surprised, Carl of all people, all I can say is that this is never ever going to be easy now, everyday I'm going to wait for a day when it will kick off, I know it will, it's only a matter of time. Aaron has a lot of things bottled up for that man and I'm sure he'll let it out one way or the other. Then there's Chas, gunna talk to him about talking to her, she did wrong by not telling him but everyone makes mistakes, I don't want to have to say this to Aaron but if it came down to it I'd make a point that everyone makes them, he'll catch my drift in a split second, I just don't want to take him back to that night, that's all. He has to sort it out though, she's his mum and they were getting better, it can't stop now.

"Jackson for fuck sake!" I hear his angry tone as he bangs on the door.

I laugh and stand up and I open the door, slightly dry from sitting but not entirely, I cock an eyebrow at my boyfriend.

"What the hell you been doing?" Aaron asked quickly as he rushed past Jackson.

"Thinking" he told him, matter of factly.

"Thinking?" Aaron asked with a scrunched expression.

Jackson smiled and simply nodded, he slapped Aaron's backside as he left the bathroom and walked across the landing to the bedroom.

"You're a weirdo!" Aaron frowned as he yelled to him.

"But you love me" he heard Jackson's reply from the bedroom. A smile spread across his lips cause he really did love him, more than words could ever say. He was going to try every day to make Jackson realise how much.

...

Aaron was stood on the landing with a cheque in his hand, he felt nervous, it was Paddy, how could he be nervous? He let out a deep breath and ran downstairs into the kitchen. Paddy turned with a smile as he was on making a brew. "Tea?" Paddy asked.

Aaron nodded as he cleared his throat. "Err...yeah, yeah..." he smiled and sat down at the dining table. "Can you sit down a minute though?"

Paddy stopped what he was doing and frowned, and immediately joined him. "Everything okay? You feel alright?"

Aaron nodded. "No I'm fine...I just wanted to give you this..." he lifted his arm from under the table and slid the cheque in front of Paddy. "Bit nervous actually" he chuckled and looked away.

Paddy examined the piece of paper; it was clearly a cheque, his eyes widened at the amount. He swallowed hard and he looked at Aaron, he felt like he couldn't speak and his words came out in a whisper. "Aaron...I-I..."

Aaron turned to look at him and Paddy reached out and held his hand. Tears instantly formed in the eyes of both men. Paddy smiled. "It's too much, way too much in fact, five million Aaron..." he was stunned.

Aaron shook his head. "I'm not having that" Aaron wiped his tears away. "After everything you've done for me, been through with me you deserve something"

"But you being here and in my life is enough, it's enough for all of us"

Aaron lowered his head and shrugged slightly, his eyes narrowed as he thought. "I just wanted to do something for the people I love"

Paddy nodded and smiled. "I understand"

"So it's yours Paddy...I want you to have it..."

"W-Wel..." Paddy stuttered. "Thankyou, it means a lot" he smiled and squeezed Aaron's hand. Aaron smiled and Paddy got up and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Is it alright if I pop out for a bit? I-I'm gunna see my mum"

Paddy sighed "As long as that's all, and please for heaven sake do not give Carl the satisfaction of knowing about the money and if he's there, don't provoke and don't let him provoke you, you think you're fine but you're not, you're still ill, medication speaks for itself..." Paddy motioned his head to the kitchen bench where three boxes stood.

Aaron looked over to the boxes and nodded. "I know I just try not to think I' am" he let out a little snigger.

Paddy understood. "Got your phone?" Aaron nodded. "Good, if you need me I'll be straight there, but sort it out, she's in bits"

Aaron swallowed hard as he walked to the door. "Yeah, I'll try" he nodded.

Paddy watched him leave and hoped he could fix things because no matter what he thought, Chas did love him.

...

Aaron stood waiting for the door of Mill cottage to be answered. He sighed then groaned when he saw a shadowy figure through the glass, now he had an overwhelming urge to run but somehow his feet remained rooted to the ground, he had to talk to her. The door swung open, in his mind he groaned loud to the point he thought it was audible. His 'father' stood in the doorway with a smirk plastered across his lips. "Come to thank me have you?"

Aaron frowned and sniggered. "I'm not a hundred percent yet, who knows I could miraculously drop down dead still, rather that than have more of your blood running through my body...the sheer thought of it makes me cringe. So if you don't mind you aren't who I've came to see"

Carl was still smiling as he stepped aside to let him in. "She's in the living room, be nice otherwise I'll kick you out"

"Oh get down from your high horse, I've come to talk to her in private so do one" he glared.

Carl smirk deepened. "Chas! I'm off to the shop!" he called to her.

Aaron waited until he was gone and he took a deep shaky breath and he walked along to the doorway of the living room, he stopped in it and looked at her.

Chas turned after hearing footsteps, her eyes widened and she shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. "Aaron..."

"I erm...I thought we could talk" he began.

Chas nodded. "Yeah course love...sit down if you like..." she suggested, warily.

Aaron looked around the room and walked across it and sat on the sofa with her.

A minute or so had passed now, Chas just waited he would speak when he was ready.

His eyes focussed on the coffee table and he rested his arms across the tops of his legs and rubbed his hands together slowly. "I don't like it, I hate it in fact..." he took a breath. "But what I hate more are the words I said to you afterwards"

"You were angry Aaron, you had every right"

Aaron shook his head and a lump caught in his throat, he swallowed hard to try and rid himself of it but it wasn't working. "I've been selfish. Put the people I love through hell, I push everyone to their limits. I know I do. I know I'll never fully be able to stop that but I'm going to try as much as I can to be someone you can be proud of, all of you..."

"You are son" Chas told him.

Aaron shook his head again. "No, No I'm not, I've treat you like crap over the years and it's going to stop, I promise..."

"But son...the moods you have and the general not letting me in is just you"

"Like I say though, they're just me but I'm going to try and be nicer, talk to you..."

Chas nodded. "That would be nice"

Aaron smiled slightly, his eyes filled with tears. "I understand why you didn't tell me about Carl, but I don't want anything to do with him mum, I hate him, he just pushes the wrong buttons, simply by looking at me" he shrugged.

"I know, it's okay, I'm not expecting anything from it son I just wanted to finally be honest with you, I buried it for so long"

Aaron nodded. "Sorted then" he finally looked at her and smiled a little.

Chas heart broke at seeing the tears in his eyes. She shifted across the sofa and hugged him. "I love you Aaron"

Tears fell then and he nodded. "Love you too" he pulled away and let out a sob. "It's just hard sometimes" he sobbed again and wiped his eyes.

"I don't make it easy though" she smirked, wiping her own eyes as she spoke.

Aaron chuckled. "Not always, no"

"Well if you're going to make an effort then so will I"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "I've got something to tell you"

Minutes later once he thought she'd calmed down he started again. "So I wanted to do something for people I love..." he reached into his pocket and handed her a cheque. "Paddy got the same...you do whatever with it...it's yours, I want you to have it"

"Aaron" Chas frowned then looked at him in disbelief.

"Please, no, no objections alright...it's yours"

"I don't know what to say" she smiled and hugged him again, whispering thank you in his ear as she held him.

Aaron smiled and when she let go he still was. "I-I don't want Carl to know...you know what he's like about money, so please be discreet with that until you can put it in the bank"

Chas nodded. "Y-Yeah of course..."

"Good" Aaron smiled

...

Aaron was doing his rounds he thought he might aswell now he was out the house. He was stood in the kitchen of butler's farm, Moira, John and Adam sat around it. "Listen guys Adam told me you were having problems with Declan..."

Moira and John exchanged a look, obviously having no idea had aired their problems then they looked at their son and sighed.

"What?" Adam exclaimed. "It's stressing me out too and he's my mate I just offloaded to him"

"Hmm" Moira eyed him.

"But I haven't told anyone" Aaron told them. He rummaged in his pocket and took out a cheque, holding it curled up in his palm. "But I've got this for you" he placed the cheque down. "I hope it'll be enough to help you out"

Moira's mouth fell open. "How?" she looked up at Aaron and Adam was stunned into silence, he's known about the win when Aaron told him but he had no idea about this.

Adam looked at him with a smile. "He won the lottery" Adam told her.

"I don't know what to say" John added. "Thankyou mate, thanks"

Moira nodded in agreement. "It's more than enough" she got up and hugged him. "You didn't have too" she told him.

Aaron nodded, he knew that. "I know but I have to do something with it, I can't see you lot struggling then I'm at home all comfortable, it's not fair"

"We really appreciate this"

"No problem, I better be off though" he stepped back against the door. "Paddy's just under the assumption I went to see my mum..." he chuckled.

"Ahh I see" John stood up and held out his hand and Aaron took it.

"Thankyou, Aaron...we'll always be grateful, it means a lot"

Aaron smiled. "Not a problem, Adam, got a minute?" he asked as he opened the door to leave.

Outside Aaron smiled at Adam and handed him a cheque. "Don't waste it" he smirked. "I love you mate" Aaron leaned forward and hugged him then walked away.

Adam unfolded the piece of paper in his hand and almost lost his balance, wow, he wasn't expecting that, he turned and watched Aaron walking away; he smiled with tears in his eyes. _God I love that lad _he thought placed the cheque in his pocket and walked back inside.

TBC...


	30. The Visitor

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"The Visitor"

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Aaron's reconciliation with his mum they had been getting on fine since. Spontaneously one day ago Aaron had suggested a camping trip, Jackson and Adam just laughed but once they thought about it they had grinned and agreed.

Now the following day, with his new car Jackson pulled up into a wooded area, by a lake, miles away in the middle of nowhere. Aaron got out the car and looked around, the late afternoon sun peaked through the trees and he smiled, _Perfect _he thought as he leaned against the car looking around some more, his eyes catching the lake about a hundred metres away down a slight hill. There was no one else around just them and it was going to be fun.

"Are you helping with this stuff or what?" Jackson asked as he stood at the boot of the car.

Aaron frowned. "No, I was reading the map all the way!" he smirked. "All because you two couldn't figure out how to work the in-built sat-nav, so yeah you and Adam crack on" he grinned sarcastically.

Jackson sighed and shook his head in mock disbelief and looked at Adam. "If he thinks he's not doing anything this weekend then he's mistaken" he told Adam in a hushed tone.

Adam smirked and nodded as he took the tent out of the boot and began unfolding it on the ground.

"Sorry what was that?" Aaron asked.

"Nothing sexy" Jackson replied with a grin, seconds later Aaron stood beside him, glaring playfully at him, Jackson chuckled and handed him a bag by placing it against his chest so he had no choice but to help. Aaron rolled his eyes and took the bag and walked over to Adam.

Half an hour later there four person tent was up; even Aaron helped which surprised Adam and Jackson. The tent had two sleeping areas, one at either side and a sitting area in between. Jackson emerged from his and Aaron's 'bedroom' for the next two nights. "All sorted, it's comfy in their"

Aaron nodded as he sat beside Adam whilst sipping on a can of lager. "Good, look forward to bed time then, see if it holds up to your words" Aaron smirked.

"Ugh mate" Adam choked on his lager and coughed to clear it.

"Hey mate, if we have sex it's tough alright" he chuckled. "Cover your ears"

Adam laughed. "Nah your alright I'll probably dead to the world before you two even get to it"

Jackson pouted and then nodded. "Fair point, pillow talk lasts ages" to which he noted an embarrassed glare from Aaron. "Aww my boys gone all red!" Jackson let out a hearty laugh. "Right, I'm gunna get some wood..."

"That's here innit?" Adam nudged Aaron and laughed. Aaron turned to him and pushed him hard playfully.

Adam took a drink from his can then sighed, and turned his head slightly in Aaron's direction. "You alright mate?"

"Yeah why?" Aaron asked.

"Nothing you just don't seem..."

"Oh" Aaron sighed. "I'm alright, just Carl..."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Oh"

Aaron laughed. "Yeah it's the looks every time we pass in the village, snide comments, pushes into me in the pub" Aaron shrugged and lowered his head.

"Hey, it's not like you to let him bother you"

"Yeah I know, I think its cause I know who he is now" he sighed.

Adam nodded in understanding. "It's really bothering you isn't it?" he asked quietly in case Jackson reappeared.

"Yeah" Aaron replied in an equally quiet tone then he shrugged. "Jackson doesn't know, nobody does I just try and ignore it, him" he sighed with a shake of his head. "One of these days I'll do something to him and nobody will be able to stop me"

Adam's eyes narrowed. "But then he'll have won, gotten a reaction"

Aaron shrugged. "Would make me feel better" he replied before taking a long drink from his can, once the can was empty he crushed it in his hands and threw it aiming for the open black bin liner that lay on the floor and it landed on it. "Just like that did" he sighed.

...

Adam and Jackson sat outside the tent cooking some food on a portable stove, bacon sandwiches were on the menu, both of them took turns in checking it. Aaron had gone for a walk; he'd been gone about half an hour. "Do you think he's okay?" Adam asked.

Jackson nodded and looked up from the frying bacon. "Yeah why?"

"He just seems quiet that's all"

"He's tired" Jackson told him. "He had a major nightmare last night...some things just don't fade away"

"Tom?"

Jackson nodded. "It was the worst one yet, he was throwing his arms around, tossing and turning, talking, even shouting, he was shaking and sweating, i-it was horrible, took it out of him i think"

Adam nodded. "I'm glad he's got you"

Jackson smiled "Cheers mate"

...

Aaron wandered along the shore of the lake, it was getting dark but he'd find his way back, no he'd be back before it was too dark to see, he decided. He took a deep breath and stopped and looked out at the water, it was calm, which instilled calmness upon him, he smiled but then in the corner of his eye he saw movement in the trees, he froze, he was under the impression this place was deserted, he shook it off and carried on walking. He saw the person wearing a long black coat. His features so far undistinguishable, he walked towards him because it was the way back. He knew the man would have saw him so he decided to speak, he didn't want to be rude. "Hi" he said as he quickly walked past, there was something about him that frightened him and urged him to keep walking.

"Aaron"

The man's deep voice shocked him into a full stop. He frowned instantly and turned to him. "How do you know my name?"

The man seemed to be in his thirties, tired eyes and lines on his face that probably told a thousand stories; he also had short dark hair, and stubble lining his jaw. "Because I'm you"

Aaron frowned and moved his head back as he let out a laugh. "Yeah okay...good night" he turned and started walking away. He heard footsteps and then felt a hard grip on his shoulder pulling him back.

"I'm you and you have to stop this all now"

"Look, mate whatever you're on...that's fine but I don't know you and you don't me, go conjure up your stories with someone else"

The man sighed. "I had to come back to tell you, this path that you're on...it's no good"

Aaron's anger rose within him, he clenched his jaw. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"People are going to get hurt"

Aaron shook his head in disbelief. "Is this how you get off is it?"

The man sighed loudly and opened his long black coat and lifted his top. Aaron looked and rolled his eyes. "And what's this...you aren't my boyfriend, so don't proposition me"

"For god sake I forgot how stubborn I was! The stab scar Aaron!"

"You trying to prove to me you are who you say you are?"

The man nodded. "Same place...same pattern...if you look...if that doesn't then just look in my eyes"

Anyone could have been stabbed in the same place, but the pattern may be different, he was caught now, interested yet feeling daunted, what was he experiencing? Had he stooped into a daydream? Then he looked into his eyes. He frowned. "Okay...what do you mean people will get hurt? Because of the money"

_Aaron _shook his head. "No..." he sighed. "Not entirely but it's a catalyst..."

"If you are me you know I don't do riddles so fucking get on with it! It's getting dark and if I'm not back well... then you know what Jackson and Adam are like"

_Aaron _lowered his head and sighed.

Aaron noticed a change straight away. "WHAT?" he demanded. "It's Jackson isn't it?" he asked quickly.

Older Aaron nodded. "And others, I don't want to tell you details but my life changed completely and not for the better, I lost people I cared about Aaron, and I'm warning you that if you don't change things then it'll all happen again!"

"Well I can't change anything if you aren't going to tell me who, what and why!" Aaron sighed, anger coursing through his veins. "I can't lose anyone! So fucking tell me..."

"Just be careful Aaron, be wary" Older Aaron told him.

"Aaron" Jackson spoke, shaking him.

Aaron frowned and turned to face him, he jumped away slightly at seeing him so close. He then noted the panicked expression on Jackson's face. "What?"

"Y-You were just staring...I've been here five minutes...what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Aaron frowned. "Erm...I'm fine but I have no explanation" he shrugged.

Jackson could see the confusion in his boyfriend's eyes and nodded then placed his arm around him. "Come on, let's get back..."

"I-I think I was day dreaming but I-I'm not sure...I'm tired though...Could be why?"

Jackson thought about it, certainly was a possibility. "Yeah, we'll get back, eat, sit by the fire a bit then we'll snuggle up how's that sound?" he asked with a smile.

Aaron nodded. "Sounds good...sorry..."

"No, its okay, just worried us that's all"

Aaron nodded as he let Jackson walk him back to the camp. Now he was disturbed, because what he experienced felt so real and the conversation now replayed over and over in his mind. Who or what did he have to be wary of? Whatever they were, he couldn't let the people he loved be hurt.

TBC...


	31. Curiosity

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Curiosity"

* * *

Carl sat alone at a table in the pub with a pint just people watching when his brother entered the bar, he sighed and rolled his eyes when he realised he was approaching.

Jimmy stood at the table looking down at his brother. "Thought you'd still be in work"

"Err, why?" Carl asked. "It's eight"

"Because I just looked over the books" Jimmy told him, his tone dissatisfied, sighing heavily as he finished speaking.

"Ahh"

"Yes ahh" Jimmy shook his head as he sat down in a chair. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Carl shrugged, acting as if there wasn't a problem, but in actual fact there was and he knew it, the business had lost a few clients and financial issues were now beginning to crop up. "Thought I could sort it and I'm still trying"

Jimmy sighed. "You better had Carl" he shook his head and left Carl alone as he walked up to the bar.

Carl sighed heavily; he had no idea what he was going to do.

...

"It's not even nine" Adam laughed. "And he's smashed!"

Jackson laughed too. "You're not far off matey"

"Hmm true" Adam nodded as they both watched Aaron, trying to concentrate on the flames of the camp fire but every time his body swayed or rocked backwards or forwards too much he lost concentration and had to place his hands by his side to balance himself properly.

"You two have spiked my drink" Aaron turned his head to face them; looking at them as if they were conspiring against him and his tone was matter of fact.

Jackson nearly spat out the lager he was about to swallow. "Err no babe, we haven't"

Aaron narrowed his eyes. "Well why do I feel so drunk?" he slurred.

Adam and Jackson shrugged. "You haven't had a drink in a few weeks, maybe why" Jackson told him.

"Hmm" Aaron nodded, Jackson's reason seemed right.

"So Aaron, you've given us all some money, what about you though?" Adam asked.

Aaron scrunched his face and shrugged. "I dunno, haven't really thought about it"

Jackson simply smiled lovingly at him. "He's gunna get me to build a big massive house for us to live in"

Aaron scowled. "Errr, I think he was asking me" then he slapped his arm gently.

Jackson chuckled and put his arm around him and pulled him close. "No, what do you want to do with it then? You haven't really mentioned it"

Aaron shrugged and lowered his head. "I-I don't wanna think about it" he said quietly.

Jackson and Adam frowned. "Why mate?" Adam asked.

Aaron let his shoulders slump as he let out a breath of hot air. "Because I had a daydream earlier but it wasn't it was so real and I saw myself, and he told me that if I don't stop this then people will get hurt, the path I'm on..." he sighed again. "Not because of the money entirely just a bit...and I don't know what he means"

"But you said yourself you were tired earlier..." Jackson said softly.

Aaron nodded and he felt a wave of emotion wash over him. "A-An..." he caught his breath as he let out a sob now more concerned than seconds before on either side of Aaron, both lads comforted him.

"Mate, come on..."

"Nah" Aaron shook his head. "It's alright, I'm okay" he told them as his head fell back slightly. He really was drunk and he reached for more alcohol, this time the bottle of vodka they had brought with them and he began drinking from the bottle. Adam and Jackson didn't stop him, they were more rattled by his unexpected crying, but then, that happened when someone was drunk didn't it? Going through stages...

"Aaron, if there's something on your mind then you can tell us" Jackson ran his fingers up and down Aaron's arm slowly as he spoke.

"I dunno I just" he sighed, feeling apprehensive about what he was going to say. "I feel like I've been awarded for killing" he spat, hating the actual idea of it, but that was how he felt.

"Woah mate" Adam started. Both men were shocked completely. "That isn't how it works Aaron, it's a game and you were lucky, millions of other people bought tickets that week, and you won, it could have been someone else"

"Adam's right Aaron" Jackson soothed him.

"I know we were trying to shove it away in the back of our minds but it's always going to be there and I hate myself" Aaron sobbed.

Jackson nodded. "I'm not going to sit and repeat everything you already know..."

"No, no I know Jackson it's just..." he shook his head. "I'm sorry"

"Nah, don't be" Jackson smiled slightly, as did Adam.

Aaron nodded. "Let's change the subject then..." he told them as he wiped his eyes. "Adam...do you think the farm will be yours one day?" he asked.

Adam pouted his lips slightly as he pondered the question, after a few seconds he shook his head. "Nah, I love it and everything but it's not something I wanna be doing all my life, I don't have an alternative, I'm not like Hannah and Holly but I can't do that all my life...suppose there's plenty of the world to see" he shrugged with a smile.

"My mum's motto that" Jackson smiled. "You do what makes you happy mate"

Aaron smiled. "Too right"

"I can see it now, you two a house, married, and kids running around" Adam chuckled.

"Ha!" Aaron faked a laugh. "No" his word quick and sharp. "I don't think so"

Jackson frowned. "Erm and why not? Am I not the one?" he teased and watched Aaron's eyebrows arch as he thought over Jackson's words, he smirked. "Because if I remember rightly after we you know what, can't say the word for farm boy's sensitive ears over there"

Adam glared and hit Jackson's arm. "You can say it you know! It doesn't bother me honestly!" he laughed.

"...You..." Jackson laughed at Adam. "You told me I was"

"Er...Er..." Aaron sighed. "You are it's just I'm a bit young to be thinking about all that, a house yeah maybe but that's all for now...that'll be all for a long time"

"Hmm...Fair enough" Jackson smirked.

...

Hours into the night, all three men were in a serious drunken state. Adam and Aaron were running around the camp fire hitting each other with sticks while music played in the background, Aaron stopped and his mouth fell open as he heard the song that was coming on, "Oh here we go!" Jackson laughed.

Adam looked at Jackson and a silent communication passed between them and they laughed again as Aaron began to sing along to Olly Murs, it caused their laughing to increase to hysterics, Jackson was clutching his stomach as he watched and listened to Aaron singing and dancing along to the beat of _Please don't let me go _

"You lovveee him!" Adam teased, laughing as he did.

Aaron stopped. "And so what if I do! I wouldn't kick him out of bed if he let one off!" he grinned happily which just made them laugh harder.

"Ohh oh! Okay but when I do it I get a dig in the ribs!" Jackson told him. "I see how it is" Aaron just shot him a look and Jackson giggled.

"Right so, come on then mate, who else?" Adam asked.

Aaron thought for a second. "Dermot O'Leary, Tom Hardy, Paul Walker, David Beckham, Justin Timberlake" he was ticking them off now.

Jackson and Adam listened in surprise, neither of them had heard Aaron being remotely as open as this.

"...Ryan Reynolds...need I go on?"

Both lads just shook their heads and Aaron nodded and he sat down by the fire, tapping his foot along to the music.

"Good choices to be fair though" Jackson nodded.

"Oh" Aaron's eyes widened. "One more" he leaned into Adam and ran the back of his hand down his cheek, he started laughing. "How could I forget?"

Adam pushed him away whilst laughing.

"Ah yes" Jackson nodded. "The kiss!"

Adam looked at him. "Almost kiss"

Jackson smirked and nodded.

"Spoilsport" Aaron slurred. "You could have just let me, it was a really strange time you know" Adam knew all this. "I was testing the water" he scrunched his face. "Could have let me try"

Adam let out a laugh. "Wouldn't have changed who you are mate"

Aaron sighed and reached for more alcohol – they all did.

...

Back in the village, Mill cottage was in silence, Chas was in bed asleep, but Carl was still up, going through paperwork. He was frustrated, he couldn't find the company's last bank statement, he sighed and he wandered to the table where the phone sat, several papers and letters were piled on there. He quickly checked over each one quickly before throwing it aside. One unfolded letter however caught his attention; it was addressed to Chas, whether that was why he looked at it or the amount of zero's on the account summary section well it was anyone's guess. Carl frowned as he examined the letter some more "Payment made to account on 2nd of august two thousand and ten, payee Mr A Livesy" he mumbled as he read, his frown deepened. "Aaron? How the hell does he have five million to give away..." his out loud thoughts trailed off and a smile played on his lips.

...

Adam lay in his compartment while Aaron and Jackson were...well they were having sex and Adam could hear everything while he endured the entire world around him spinning as he lay there, his mouth felt completely numb and his vision was severely blurred and it was all down to one thing called alcohol. _I'm going to have one hell of a hangover..._ Adam thought and he groaned.

He lay on his back all he could hear was his mates having sex, the groans, the soft moans, the slapping of skin on skin impact, he bit his lip and he felt tightness in his groin, his boxers also tightening around the hardening flesh beneath. He was turned on and very, very curious! He sat up onto his knees and took a deep breath and hesitantly reached for the zip to his compartment.

Jackson heard a noise and stopped his rhythmic thrusts. Aaron frowned. "What?" he whispered.

"I think he's moving" they listened and seconds later they heard Adam wince in pain.

Adam tripped over the tent material on the bottom which connected the zipped entryway and fell into the centre area making as much noise as he could. The throbbing in his cock even more so noticeable and when he saw that their section wasn't zipped and the sheet was just lowered, he felt his member grow. He had no idea what he was doing but curiosity was getting the better of him.

"Adam?" Aaron asked breathlessly.

"Uh yeah..."

"You okay?"

"Yeah...erm...listen I..."

"Heard us?" Jackson asked.

Adam cleared his throat. "Yeah..." he lifted up the sheet and the light that Jackson had hanging from the top of the tent showed Adam everything. Jackson jumped off Aaron when he heard the rustling of the sheet and covered himself quickly. Aaron did too.

Aaron sat up and frowned. "Adam?"

"Sorry...look I know this is going to sound weird...but I..."

Jackson watched him then couldn't help but see how hard he was, an eyebrow raised in surprise. "Ahh..."

Adam smirked and blushed. "I'm turned on...I'm curious"

Aaron and Jackson exchanged a look. "We're all drunk mate, you don't know what you're saying" Aaron told him.

"No, I do..." he swallowed hard. "I mean I never thought I'd want a threesome with men but..." he shrugged.

Jackson coughed. "Y-Y-you want a threesome?"

Adam nodded shyly and Aaron and Jackson looked at each other again, after several seconds smiled crept across their lips and Aaron gave a shrug, a gesture basically saying whatever, up to you.

Jackson turned back to Adam, now the one to make the decision after Aaron giving his approval. "You might regret it though, he's your best mate, and I'm your mate"

"Nah..." he smirked. "I won't"

"Well you better come in then" Jackson told him as he shifted over to make room.

Adam crawled into their section and pulled back the sheet again and took in a deep breath as he turned to the naked Aaron and Jackson. Experimenting, nothing wrong with it he thought...and he was so terribly horny, and he was drunk that fuelled it even more, he wanted this.

TBC...


	32. Desire

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Desire"

* * *

The motorway was pretty clear, Jackson was driving, Aaron was in the passenger seat and Adam was in the back. The drive had been pretty quiet and awkward considering all three lads had sex the previous night, each of them pretty much had everything done to them, a night of immense pleasure it certainly was.

Aaron twiddled his thumbs as he sat looking out of the window, the countryside once more becoming evident, they were almost home. He then sighed, he'd had enough. "Right come on, it was only sex" he broke the silence.

Adam raised his eyebrows. "Only? And everything else that goes with it" he shook his head.

"With two hot lads" Jackson nodded with a smirk on his face.

Adam sighed. "Stop it"

"Ahh come on mate" Jackson began. "Some people experiment with the same sex and you're just one of them, nothing wrong with it"

"Really?" Adam snapped. "I have a girlfriend"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "What happens in the woods stays in the woods alright?"

"Were not in Vegas you know!" Adam glared.

Aaron shook his head and he began to chuckle. "Ahh seriously..." he turned in his seat slightly to see him in the back. He forced himself to stop laughing.

Adam couldn't meet his eyes.

"Do you regret it?"

Adam sighed. "N-No..."

"Did you want it?"

Adam took a few seconds before he nodded and he swallowed hard and for a second looked into Aaron's eyes, then averted them again. "Y-yeah..." he cleared his throat. "I was curious..."

Aaron nodded. "Nothing has to change mate seriously, we got really close" he realised that his words were an understatement, more like in each other. He rolled his eyes at his own thoughts. "It doesn't have to change anything; we're not going to make an issue of it..."

Adam swallowed hard. "Alright...me either"

Aaron smiled and nodded as he returned into his normal position in the seat. Jackson smiled across at him and placed his hand on Aaron's leg.

Adam's heart skipped a beat, he felt like the car was getting smaller, he could see the loving smile on Aaron's face and he had to look away.

...

The Woolpack was always usually busy between eleven and two with the lunchtime rush. Carl was about to walk out of the toilet when he heard a hushed conversation on the other side of the door, the voices familiar – Diane and Moira.

"...so she's interested?" Moira asked.

Diane nodded. "Yeah, she's got the money, told me how aswell, think it's bloody fantastic, that lad needed something good happening to him, apart from Jackson of course"

Moira smiled. "He certainly did, did Chas tell you what he did for us?"

"Ohh yeah she did, he's a good lad really"

Moira nodded with a smile. "He is, can't thank him enough, I think he's keeping it quiet though"

Diane nodded. "Understandable, you know what some people can be like round here, I only brought it up because I knew you knew..." Diane took a breath. "So she wants to buy into the pub...with her offer I can't exactly say no" she grinned.

Moira nodded with a smile. "Chas will be in later you can tell her then"

"I plan too...right, back to work eh?" both women started walking through to the bar.

Inside the men's toilets, Carl was staring at the wall, a surprised but sly smirk played across his lips. He nodded to himself and he pulled open the door and walked back into the bar, closely followed by Adam, Aaron and Jackson.

"Ahh" Moira called to her son as Carl sat back down.

Carl watched Aaron carefully.

"You're back then?" she asked.

"No, we're all an illusion" Adam frowned as let out an exasperated breath, whilst shaking his head.

Moira raised an eyebrow. "And what's wrong with you?"

"Ahh nothing" he forced a smile as two skinny arms were wrapped around him.

"I've missed you" Mia smiled before kissing him on the cheek.

"See you in a bit mate" Aaron said as he walked to a table while Jackson got there drinks.

Adam turned in Aaron's direction quickly but didn't reply and then turned back to Mia and smiled slightly. "Me too, sit down I'll get us a drink"

Mia smiled happily and turned back to her table and sat down.

"Good weekend love?" Moira asked as she was already pouring Adam a pint.

Adam nodded. "Yeah, was okay nice to get away isn't it?"

When his pint and Mia's white wine was ready he walked back to her table and sat down beside her, a nervous feeling overwhelming him. Aaron and Jackson were sat on the other side of the pub, Adam knew he was staring, he had to stop.

"So, what did you boys get up to?" Mia asked.

"Err what?" Adam asked frowning, turning to her quickly.

"I asked what did you boys get up to?" she repeated.

"Oh" Adam shook his head. "Fishing, swimming, got drunk every night"

Mia smiled and nodded. "Well I hope you're planning to give the alcohol a miss tonight?" she bit her lip as she looked at him. "We have plans"

"Have we?" Adam asked quickly, he wasn't expecting that.

"Yeah, come on you've been away all weekend, I haven't seen you"

Adam sighed. "I can't tonight, I'm knackered Mia, and I'll have be on the farm early in the morning"

"Oh" she sat back, defeated. "Alright then" she got up and put her bag on her shoulder. "I'll call you then"

"Ahh Mia..."

"No, Adam its fine" she told him and walked off.

Adam sighed and put his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes, letting out a long deep breath in the process.

Aaron was watching from his table, a concerned frown playing on his forehead. He shook it off when Jackson placed his hand on his leg. Aaron turned and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Wasn't very nice was it?"

Adam turned and faced Carl sitting a few tables along. "And what has it got to do with you?"

Carl shrugged, smiling.

He was always smiling. It un-nerved him a lot!

"Nothing just making conversation" Carl told him.

"Not with me your not" Adam spat, his opinion of Carl had worsened even more after he found out he was Aaron's dad and still the man was as nasty as he could be with the lad. It wasn't fair.

Carl rolled his eyes. "Ahh I see" he stood. "You're Aaron's mate, better not associate with you then"

Adam shot him a look. "Sounds good to me" he trailed off as Carl left him alone.

Several minutes later Aaron approached Adam at his table. "Join us if ya want? We're just making plans for tonight, hit the town, bit of pool in bar west?"

"Can't mate, I'm with Mia tonight"

"Didn't look like she left happy..." he said with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yeah well, I'll sort it, sorry mate another time"

"Oh, okay, no worries see ya later"

"Yeah see ya"

Now that was odd, Aaron thought, when did Adam ever say no to a night out?

...

Aaron walked into Tug Ghyll and Debbie was sat on the sofa and looked up from her paperwork "Erm, you never heard of knocking?"

"Oh er, sorry" Aaron apologised.

"It's alright, what you doing here?"

"Well its important actually, been thinking about it for a while"

"This doesn't happen often" she mocked. "Sit down then"

Aaron did so and sat with his hands clasped together. "How would you feel if you had partner in the garage?"

Debbie's eyes widened slightly. "Well...I err...I never thought about it really...you want to put some of your money to good use?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, we could get better equipment, more equipment, promote more" he stopped when Debbie let out a laugh. He frowned and looked at her.

"You've really thought about this haven't ya?" she asked and Aaron just nodded.

"Okay well erm I can tell you're serious, so...I'll do some work, speak to my lawyer and I'll get some paperwork drawn up...fifty fifty?"

"You sure?" Aaron asked he wasn't expecting that, maybe just a small percentage.

Debbie nodded. "Yeah, you said partners that's half" she laughed.

"Alright then" Aaron smiled. "Fifty fifty"

Debbie then held out her hand with a smile. "Deal"

Aaron shook hers. "Deal"

"I'll pop up to Smithy when I've got the paperwork drawn up"

Aaron stood. "No problem, thanks Debbie"

"Not a problem, I look forward to working with you in this way, be different, nice to share the work load"

Aaron nodded and smiled. "Oh do me a favour? Don't tell Cain I want to see the look on his face"

Debbie nodded. "No problem, one thing you can do though?" Aaron nodded and waited. "Take over rebranding, the sign, and the van"

Aaron grinned. "I'll get to work on that when I get home, see ya"

"See ya Aaron"

...

Aaron was already half gone, the noise of the busy bar pulsated in his ears. Jackson wasn't drinking, he offered to drive and he enjoyed watching Aaron getting drunk and relaxing.

"Bit weird that Adam said no" Aaron blurted after he finished his bottle of lager.

"Hmm yeah, but forget it, it's just me and you"

Aaron leaned into Jackson, his scent and touch was intoxicating in itself. He sighed happily. "I love you"

Jackson smiled and kissed his forehead. "I love you too"

"So" a playful grin spread across Aaron's lips. "Who's better?"

"Excuse me?" Jackson asked.

"Me or Adam"

He laughed some more. "You ya div! He was drunk, nervous"

"Well I was drunk too, remember?"

"Yeah but, you're just you babe, perfect every time" he smiled.

Aaron pouted and shifted to stand up. "Won't be long" he told him

Jackson nodded. "Going for some not so fresh air?" he rolled his eyes at him.

"Yeah...ah Jackson I know but I can't help it, its worse when I drink"

"Well if you must, go on get it done and get back here!"

Aaron smirked and walked off. Jackson watched him and swore to himself one day he'd make him stop smoking.

Once outside Aaron lit up and took a draw of the cigarette, immediately his hunger, his need, the addiction had been satisfied and he felt relaxed. He paced along the footpath outside the bar and just watched the crowds of people around, he frowned and stopped in his tracks at what he saw.

Carl King leaving a bar across the road with another woman! He clenched his free hand into a fist, his jaw muscles also did the same and he felt an immense wave of heat wash over him, it was the anger, he was angry. Carl was with his mum, what the hell was he playing at? How could he do that to her? The two looked cosy, it was by no stretch of the imagination innocent – Carl was cheating.

...

In Butler's farm all lights were out apart from one, a low lamp lit the living room, Adam sat alone everyone else was in bed. He sat in silence, with his own thoughts. What had what he'd done now made him and what were the feelings he now felt? Was he gay too? Bisexual? He didn't know but he now knew what Aaron felt like all those months ago.

_Oh Aaron _Adam sighed. His stomach had of recently began doing somersaults every time he looked or even thought about his best mate, this was not good. He shook his head quickly as tears escaped his eyes, he tried to shake it all out but it wasn't working. He sat for a long time, he wasn't exactly sure how long but he cried silently the entire time and the thoughts convincing him more and more that there was an attraction towards Aaron. He reasoned it with they were mates, it bordered on the likes of a sexual relationship anyway but without the sex, they were simply just so close and also they had a history, he was the one Aaron tried to kiss in December.

...

After returning inside Jackson could clearly see something had rattled him, and his mood had severely dropped and he wouldn't say what was bothering him, instead when they should be enjoying themselves in the bar they were now getting out of the car outside Smithy.

Aaron heard the clapping of heels on the concrete and he looked down the village lit by the street lamps. "Hiya love"

Aaron groaned, it was his mother approaching. "Alright?" he replied.

Chas nodded with a grin on her face. "Guess what?"

Aaron felt Jackson's arm around him as they stood with her. He was clueless. "What?"

"Me and Carl" she began excitedly and then held up her left hand.

The ring was obvious even in the dimmed light. He could have been sick. "Oh..."

Jackson rolled his eyes and nudged him gently, a silent message that Aaron should pick up on. Or not.

"Look love I know you hate him but he makes me happy"

Aaron backed off. "So when did this happen?"

"This afternoon" she beamed happily.

Aaron smiled sympathetically and he stepped forwards and hugged her. He knew and she didn't. He cursed himself. Why! Why did he have to see Carl with that woman!

Jackson and Chas exchanged a surprised glance to each other.

It was short lived when Aaron pulled away and he uttered the words with averted eyes to the ground as he stepped back up the lawn."You're making a mistake" he said ever so quietly.

"Aaron!" Jackson angrily called after him.

"No" Chas frowned. She stepped back. "It's alright love...I just thought he should hear it from me"

Jackson nodded. "I'll have a word"

Chas smiled gratefully and turned around and walked away, she hated leaving Jackson to pick up the pieces he always was but right now, she didn't want to ask her son what he meant or why he's said it; it would have only ended up in an argument.

As Jackson reached the front door it was slammed in his face. Jackson sighed. _Great wake paddy while you're on why don't you! _He thought and opened the door and walked in after him, hoping to find out what all that was about.

TBC...


	33. I Will Never Be You

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"I Will Never Be You"

* * *

Jackson swung open the door to Smithy and marched into the kitchen where he saw Aaron stood up against the line of benches next to the fridge. Jackson looked at him and shrugged.

Aaron scowled at him. "What!"

"Why the hell are you so against her being happy? Look I know you don't like the man but it's not your place to say whether she's making a mistake or not!"

"Oh it's not is it?" Aaron shot back.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Jackson asked with a frown.

"I-" Aaron sighed. "When I went out for a smoke I saw him"

"Who Carl?"

Aaron nodded. "With another woman" he explained. "And they were looking cosy"

Jackson sighed and looked away. "Okay...look – we lied to Tom, look what happened there"

Aaron lowered his head and nodded.

"Tell her, its then up to her what she does" he continued.

Aaron shook his head. "No, she knows I hate him, she'll just assume I'm making it up to get him out of our lives, Nah...I'll sort it"

"How?" Jackson snapped angrily.

Aaron shrugged.

"With your fists? Hmm?"

Aaron didn't reply.

"Look! Do what the hell you want but keep me out of it I don't want to know, you're so hell bent on hurting him that you'll probably end up hurt yourself and no amount of guidance or help from me will stop you, nothing I say matters when it comes to Carl!"

Aaron sighed. "Ah come on you know it's not like that!"

"Whatever" Jackson shook his head as he heard the floorboards above them creaking, they'd woken Paddy. "I'm off to bed, you can explain to him why he's been woken up, cause I'm not!" he spat and left the kitchen, clearly flustered with anger.

He passed Paddy on the landing. Paddy could see the emotions clear on Jackson's face and decided not to ask. "Night Paddy" was all he said before walking into their room, undressing and getting into bed.

Aaron let out a deep breath and closed his eyes as Paddy walked into the kitchen. "Sorry Paddy..." he looked up at the dazed, sleepy older man.

"Nah it's alright click the kettle on mate" Paddy told him as he pulled out a chair from under the table and sat down.

Aaron nodded and did as asked.

"So what was all that about?"

Aaron shrugged and folded his arms across his chest. "I just saw something I didn't want too"

"Like?"

"Nothing Paddy"

Paddy eyed the teen. "Nothing? Couples don't argue over nothing and from experience it's best you don't keep things to yourself"

Aaron rolled his eyes and nodded. "It was Carl...with another woman"

"You what? And he proposed to your mum earlier!" he was outraged.

"See this is what I didn't want! I'm going to sort it myself so just don't say anything"

"Oh no, you don't do a thing do you hear me?"

"I can deal with this Paddy!"

"Tough! Aaron I know you don't like him but just let it play out, your mum will get hurt whether she's told from you or finds out herself the hard way"

"I know!" Aaron replied through gritted teeth. "But look what happened when me and Jackson lied to Tom" he closed his eyes and turned his head away.

"Aaron...your mum won't get hurt, not in that way...the only person who will is Carl when she strings him up by his bollocks"

Aaron smirked and let out a chuckle, making Paddy smile. "You've got to let it go mate, you and Jackson have been through enough and I don't think neither I nor your mum can deal with you getting hurt"

Several seconds passed and Paddy waited. "Alright" Aaron nodded. "Okay" he spoke quietly.

"Good, now one more question..."

"What?" Aaron asked in a groan.

"Why do you listen to me and not Jackson?"

Aaron shrugged. "B-because you know how to really handle me, he does but not properly if anything just then he made me worse"

"Well I imagine whatever was said, he was right, so just in future listen to him"

"Okay" Aaron nodded his head as the kettle clicked. He made Paddy a cup of tea and placed it in front of him. "I'm gunna grab a blanket"

"Err why?" Paddy asked.

"Because we need space sometimes, especially after an argument, if I go up there we'll just bite at each other"

"Okay but sort it"

"I will! Night" he told him as he walked through to the living room.

...

Aaron groaned, his eyes tightly closed, he was aware of the hand shaking him. "Go away" he mumbled. "I'm asleep"

"Erm, not now you're not, get up you've got a visitor" Jackson told him.

Mia stood in front of the sofa looking down at Aaron avoiding having to get up.

He sighed and opened his eyes. "Oh..." he pushed himself up into a sitting position and the blanket fell to his waist.

Jackson got up and left them too it.

"Late night?" Mia asked with a smile.

"Uh yeah" he smiled, he felt awkward, and why was Mia here without Adam? The only time he saw her was when she was on his arm, which was pretty much all the time. "You could say that, sit down" he offered as he pulled the blanket away so she could, as she sat Aaron rubbed his eyes. "How was your night?"

"Oh you know, quite boring actually..."

"Finally realised he's boring then? About time" Aaron joked.

"He's not, not really" she smiled. "But last night it was just me"

"Ah ok" Aaron knew not to mention Adam saying he'd make it up to her and be with her that night, he obviously hadn't. Strange.

"The reason I'm here is because I need to ask you something"

"Sure" Aaron nodded.

"Did something happen when you guys were away that I should know about?"

Aaron frowned. "No, I would have known, it was just me, him and Jackson the entire time" he told her.

"Well he's been really weird, in the pub yesterday he didn't wanna know and last night I texted and called but he ignored every attempt I made, I stopped when I realised I was probably looking desperate"

"And...Are you?" he asked

Mia sighed and lowered her head. "I like him Aaron...but since he came back he's not himself"

"Tell you what, I've got some stuff to do this morning but once I'm done I'll go and have a word"

Mia smiled gratefully and nodded. "Thanks" she said and got up.

"No problem" he stood up too and started folding the blanket.

"See you later" she smiled and walked to the door. Aaron stopped what he was doing and looked thoughtful, Adam, what was going on?

...

Aaron left the house a few hours ago and before he left Jackson avoided him, and he hadn't contacted him since, it was his own fault he knew that, he'd sort it he had too he loved Jackson. He walked along a street in town looking over the papers for the rebranding; the signage on the garage itself and the van would be done within the next few days. _Dingle & Livesy Automotives _Aaron smiled at the thought, he loved the sound of it and he liked seeing it in black and white on the a4 receipt in his hand.

Almost an hour later Aaron pulled up outside Butler's farm and instantly saw Adam marching towards the house, he'd seen him. Aaron rolled his eyes and quickly followed, seconds later he walked into the house without knocking, instantly he got the impression, he was home alone. Perfect time to talk.

"Adam, I saw you mate come on" he began.

Seconds later Adam walked into the kitchen, his head lowered, he wanted to avoid this.

"I've just had Mia up at Smithy asking questions"

Adam pouted and nodded his head.

"You turned down a night out and you didn't make it up with Mia, so what were you doing?"

Adam sighed. "Sat up most the night alone"

"If this is about what happened when we were away don't let it get to you mate, Mia didn't enter your mind at the time, or mine and Jackson's...it was fun and she doesn't need to know"

"Don't worry she won't ever find out" Adam told him.

"What's going on Adam? Why didn't you come out or go to Mia?"

Adam frowned. "Can you not feel it?" his lip quivered and he bit down to stop it.

"Eh? Feel it?" he asked.

Adam nodded and blew out a breath. "The connection, me and you..." he swallowed hard and looked away.

Aaron let out a chuckle then when he looked back at Adam he stopped, the look on his face told him he wasn't joking. "Adam..." he started softly as he stepped closer. "Talk to me"

"Nah" Adam forced a smile. "I'm alright, just been silly"

Aaron didn't believe that. "No, there's something, you can tell me anything you know"

Adam nodded, he knew that.

"Well then!"

Adam leaned against the wall. "I- this is so hard" he sighed. Aaron would wait; no matter how long it took Adam was always there for him, time to return the favour. He gave a slight nod indicating it was okay and Adam carried on.

"I might be bisexual, gay" he shrugged. "I'm not sure"

"Alright..." that's all he said, sensing there was more. Adam walked into the living room and sat on the sofa and Aaron followed and they sat next to each other.

"It's got to have been the curiosity that's what started it, when I heard the two of you at it, my god..." he sighed. "I was so turned on, the most I have been ever"

"What do you feel about women? Mia?"

Adam shrugged. "Haven't thought about it, I still fancy woman, would have sex with them"

Aaron nodded. "Do you remember when I was seeing your Holly...I convinced myself I fancied her, and I convinced myself to have sex with her...yeah I know you don't wanna hear exactly but gimme a minute...it's not good Adam so if you're in any doubt then you have to put a stop to the relationship with Mia"

Adam nodded. "Aaron" he spoke quietly and Aaron placed an arm around him. "I-I-I'm attracted"

"And so you should be she is a nice girl" he cut him off.

Adam sighed and shook his head. "No!" he jumped away. "That, what you did with your arm can't happen alright, it can't"

Aaron was lost. "Adam?"

"Just go Aaron"

"I can't leave you like this" Aaron told him.

"I'll be fine, promise – please I just need you to leave, I'll come round later I just have to sort myself out"

Aaron slowly stood. "Alright, sort things with Mia mate alright" he told him and walked away apprehensively, he really didn't want to leave him.

...

Aaron still hadn't made it up with Jackson yet and what with that and then Adam he could feel his frustrations getting the better of him, as he left David's shop he turned right heading towards the bridge, he fancied a walk. As he neared the drive to Mill cottage he scowled, an instant reaction it seemed when it came to Carl, he was grateful his mum would be at work he didn't want to have to explain his statement from the night before. He heard giggling and hushed voices then a car door slam, he hurried and walked out of sight and waited. Moments later a woman drove by in a car. He saw red, discarded his can of pop and ran along the drive of Mill cottage and caught Carl just before he closed the door, he grabbed him by the back of the neck and forced him inside, his teeth gritted with anger.

"HEY!" Carl yelled. "What the hell!" He was able to pull away and he spun around to see his 'son' "What the hell are you playing at!" he demanded.

"Good is she?" he breathed heavily, old Aaron now making an appearance.

Carl didn't answer. "Your mum doesn't need to know!"

"You what? I can't believe you just said that! So you are having an affair then? Don't deny it! I saw you last night in town, hours after you proposed" his voice raised in anger and he pushed Carl against the stair banister. "TO MY MUM!" he screamed.

Carl managed to kick his stomach and hard and he was flung back. Aaron felt like he couldn't breathe he bent over and placed his hands on his knees, he panicked for a few seconds before he could breathe, Carl had winded him. "You bastard!" Aaron spat breathlessly.

"Enjoying the money then Aaron?"

Aaron frowned as he straightened up. "How did you know about that?"

"Your mum well..." he smirked and scratched his forehead. "She had a habit of leaving things lying around, I saw her bank statement, and was surprised to see she was five million up...and then I saw the name, I don't know anyone else by the name of A Livesy...and then when I heard Moira and Diane talking, it just made it all the more real" he smiled, pleased with himself.

Aaron chuckled then it quickly faded. "Marrying her for her money?"

Carl pouted. "I've done worst things; one for example is stood in front of me"

That was it, Aaron lunged to him and swung his arm swiftly and his fist smashed into Carl's face knocking him back onto the stairs.

"I knew you never loved her!" Aaron glared at him as he pinned him down. "You never have!"

"Business is more important" Carl told him and it threw Aaron off enough so that he could kick him away again. Aaron shot back against the opposite wall and slumped to the floor.

"She won't give you a penny! And neither will I!"

Carl loomed over him. "She loves me Aaron, I can put on a good act, she'll help me, without the business I have nothing she knows that" Carl knelt down to his level and looked at him. He couldn't describe how much he hated Aaron.

"You deserve nothing anyway...I think I should tell her"

Carl then swung and punch, Aaron winced and placed his hand to the sort point on his eyebrow.

"If you do tell her Aaron, then you just remember that I'm capable of almost anything, my business needs to survive and I need money, your mother will happily hand it over, and when we're married what's hers is mine" he grinned.

"Is that all you care about?"

"Asks you" Carl sniggered.

Aaron shook his head as he got to his feet. "Yeah I have money, but I'm not going to let it become me, rule my life, you sad twat" he spat angrily then turned and headed for the door.

"Going to tell her?" yes a part of Carl was worried.

Aaron smirked and turned to him and shrugged whilst holding out his arms. He turned back with a smile on his face, seconds later he was being rammed into the door, his head hit off it pretty hard, now it was just being pressed against it.

"I said are you going to tell her!" Carl repeated through gritted teeth.

Aaron shoved him off him. "I hate that I come from you!" he screamed, shaking with anger, he flung open the door. "I'll let you wait and see!" and with that Aarons stormed off along the gravel drive and then headed for the bridge, he needed to be alone.


	34. Too Much To Handle

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Too Much To Handle"

* * *

The breeze blew gently across his face as he looked down at the river flowing beneath him; his eyes were fixed on the water, obviously deep in thought. His right eyebrow had a split in it where dry blood was now crusted within the dark hairs and his ribs were sore from the kicking's Carl gave him to push him away. Aaron shook his head. Carl had admitted to only marrying his mum for the money, he couldn't let that happen.

He was too far into his own mind, his thoughts that he hadn't heard someone approaching.

Jackson stood beside him leaning against the stone wall; he shook his head slightly at seeing his boyfriend's bloodied forehead. He let out a breath. "Gunna talk to me then?"

Aaron turned quickly then turned away again before registering it was Jackson then he looked at him. He let out a breath. "A woman was leaving his house, I lost it" he admitted.

Jackson nodded. "At least you're being honest"

"Hmm, he said he's marrying her for her money because he needs it for the business"

"You can't get involved Aaron" Jackson gently tried.

"I can't. Not now" he sighed and shook his head.

"Aaron..." Jackson groaned.

"No! Jackson, I can deal with this"

"But you can't!" Jackson told him as he shook his head.

Aaron sighed and walked off.

"Where are you going now?" Jackson called after him.

"No idea!"

Jackson watched him walk off. Aaron was getting himself too deep into the situation going on with Carl, he had no idea what second, minute, hour or day would bring.

...

When Aaron got back to Mill cottage he made sure he slammed the door behind him. Carl appeared almost immediately. Aaron just smirked.

"What do you want?" Carl asked.

"I've been thinking"

"And?"

"I'll save your business" Aaron began calmly.

Carl approached and sat on the stairs and watched him, eyeing him carefully. "I'm listening"

Aaron nodded. "I'll put some money into it" he took pleasure in dragging it out. He fell silent for a few seconds and he bit his lip, and then licked them, his eyes focussed on Carl. "For you to run it and me as the owner"

Carl stood up quickly, his eyes widened in disgust, his lips parted slightly. "You what!" he spat angrily now getting into his face.

"You heard me _'dad'" _hitting him with another knife in the chest – he knew Carl wouldn't like that, Aaron smiled.

"Not a chance" Carl snarled.

Aaron sniggered and nodded, stepping back to the front door as he did. "I won't let you hurt her...suppose we'll all see the demise of Carl King sooner than later" he shrugged, smiling as he reached for the door handle.

Carl was frozen to the spot; no way was he handing his business over to a kid!

Aaron left and just walked; walked wherever his legs took him.

...

Hours later Aaron walked into the pub and smiled to see his mum behind the bar, his smile quickly faded when he saw Carl. A lot of people were in the bar actually, Jackson, Hazel, Paddy, his family. He walked to the bar and waited for his mum. Then across to his left Carl spoke.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?"

The pub fell silent. "Now I have permission to do this so I'll start" he smiled to Chas. "We've set a date for the wedding..."

Aaron groaned and dropped his head, shaking it ever so slightly.

Jackson saw his reaction, he understood Aaron's feelings about all of this but he couldn't meddle with someone like Carl, not after what he'd heard from the genuine gossips of the village. Jackson sighed and raised his pint glass to his lips and took a sip. Everyone was watching Carl except Aaron.

"Christmas day" he beamed happily well pretended anyway. "And everyone is invited" he smiled and sat down and met Jimmy's questioning gaze. "What?"

"You work fast don't ya? Christmas will come around quick"

"A few months, could be quicker if you ask me" he sighed quietly.

Aaron had to pull himself away from the bar, the pressure onto his skin from the edge was sore against his flesh, Carl had done certain damage there he hadn't let on though, not to anyone. He turned to Carl and was met with eye contact instantly; Aaron looked away and walked around the bar. "Mum, can I have a word?" he asked quickly.

Chas nodded. "Yeah, course" she replied and quickly followed him through to the back.

Jackson sat shaking his head, not impressed one bit.

...

"What's up love?" she smiled as she closed the door to the back room behind her. "Oh what happened to your eye?"

Aaron had his lips nipped in between his fingers then he dropped his hand. He ignored her question "Please, please don't marry him"

"What why?" she screeched.

"Because he doesn't love you! I saw him with a woman in town and then again today in his house!"

Chas frowned and began shaking her head. "How low can you get Aaron?"

Aaron was taken a back, but really? What was he expecting? He knew what to expect anyway, he'd known what she would say from the start.

"I know you hate him but I didn't think you'd go this far!" she raised her voice.

Aaron turned away and paced. "I saw them with my own eyes and when I confronted him h-he...he said..." he sighed, growling slightly at his own frustration.

Chas stepped up to him. "Come on then what did he say?" she asked.

"He's only marrying you for your money, the business is suffer-" Aaron was stopped immediately by the stinging and cracking of a slap on his cheek, his head swung to the side with it and he instantly placed his hand to the sore point on his cheek

Chas leaned in, anger in her eyes. "How dare you?" she spat.

Tears fell from Aaron's eyes and he stood straight and looked at her. "You marry him and we're done"

Chas watched him carefully, those words had stunned her. "Oh come on Aaron! For god sake this is pathetic!"

Aaron sniggered as he wiped away his tears; he nodded to her and began walking to the door. "I got my answer" he told her quietly.

"What? No..."

"It shouldn't be a hard decision mum" he told her.

"But I love him Aaron and you're making up lies because you hate him so much, which is understandable I know but it has to stop now, seems cutting his brakes didn't work that time, you just couldn't stop thinking of more ways to ruin him"

Anger washed over him, his skin red, the veins bulging and the muscles in his jaw clenched. "I'M NOT LYING!"

Chas turned away. "I love Carl Aaron and I love you but you're making everything difficult, even Jackson is sick of your obsession now"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "I wish it was just an obsession, I'm fucking telling you the truth!"

"Don't swear at me please" she told him.

"I can do what I like, you're not my mum!" he told her forcefully, a pang of sadness filled the edges of his voice. He pulled open the door and stormed out.

"Aaron!" Chas called after him then she walked into the bar after having no response then heard the exact same name being shouted but from Jackson this time as Aaron had stormed out of the pub.

...

Adam frowned when he saw him wandering aimlessly along the road. He sped up and slowed the quad down and he drove and Aaron walked at equal speed. "Alright mate?"

Aaron shrugged. "You?"

"Listen, I'm sorry about earlier I freaked out"

"Why?" Aaron scrunched up his face, his mind elsewhere and he hadn't realised the harshness of his tone.

"Because you got close" Adam told him with a sigh.

Aaron frowned and turned to him as he drove alongside him. "What's that meant to mean?" Aaron asked.

"You know what it means" Adam told him and he watched Aaron stop, he pressed down on the brakes and stopped the quad.

Aaron was frowning, obviously thinking and his hands were stuffed into his pockets. "I don't..." Aaron told him quietly.

"I have to say it mate because it's eating away at me...has been since we got back b-but I guess I've always known it, you stopped me when I was about to tell you"

Aaron sighed. "It's been a long day Adam" he complained.

Adam stepped closer. "What's wrong mate?" concern in his tone. "And how did you get that?" he pointed at the blood, he hadn't noticed it.

"Me and Carl had a bit of a to do"

"What?" shock evident in his voice. "You alright?"

"It's not me I'm worried about"

His mate seemed really down. He took his arm and sat him down on a bench, why benches were at the side of country roads he had no idea but thankful for it at this moment. "Talk to me"

"He's erm..." Aaron rubbed his hands together. "He's having money problems, as soon as he found out about my mams money I gave her he proposed, and she said yes, I confronted him and he admitted he was marrying her for the money, he needs his business and all that bullshit and I saw him with another woman" he sighed and shook his head.

"What are you going to do?" Adam asked and to Aaron that certainly was the question.

"I already did it, I told my mam, she said I'm making it up because I hate him so much but I'm not Adam, I told her that if she married him that would be it between us" he shook his head. "She didn't exactly say but I know who she's chosen and she's making a big mistake...and then there's Jackson...It's doing his head in but what does he expect me to do? Sit back and let him? I can't, but at the same time it's pushing him away, it's a bit of a mess right now" Aaron chuckled slightly and looked up at Adam for the first time since sitting on the bench.

Adam had been clueless until that point when Aaron looked at him that he'd been crying. His heart jumped at the sight, he leaned in and kissed him.

Aaron sat frozen, Adam's warm soft lips upon his, he pulled away slowly looking into Adam's eyes. "What was that?" he asked quietly.

"I've been trying to tell you mate"

Aaron frowned. "You think I'm attractive? You want me? What?"

"Both but I know I can't but I wanted you to know"

"Oh" Aaron's eyes narrowed. "I-I..." he cleared his throat. "Is it just me then or are you gay? Bisexual?"

Adam shrugged. "Bi, I think...yeah" he said and let out a breath.

Aaron placed his arm around him. "Nothing wrong with that" he smiled. "But you can't kiss me again" he told him gently.

Adam lowered his head and nodded. "I know, it was driving me mad that's all, I had to tell you"

Aaron smiled. "No worries mate" silence fell upon them until Aaron spoke again. "I'm going away Adam" he said very quietly.

Adam frowned, panicked. "What? Because of him?"

Aaron nodded. "If I don't remove myself from the situation someone will get hurt"

"And how do you know it'll be down to you?"

"I don't but it'll be me on the receiving end..."

"Mate..." Adam took a breath. "You have to think this through"

"I already have Adam"

"Ar-" the lump in his throat caught him off guard and the tears fell from his eyes. "Are you coming back?"

Aaron shrugged. "Not sure"

Adam nodded. "Okay..." he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What about Jackson?"

"We need time away; I'll call when I get sorted"

"You mean you're not telling him?"

Aaron shook his head. "Wanna give me a ride to Smithy?"

"Err yeah" he sighed and rubbed his eyes and then stood up.

...

With shaky hands Aaron placed down the envelope on his and Jackson's bed. He took a breath and lifted his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the room, Adam was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Aaron smiled at him when he reached the bottom he placed his hand on Adam's shoulder. "You're a great mate Adam" his lip quivered, his emotions clear. "You'll be fine" he nodded to him. "And you can call me anytime, day or night"

Adam let out a sniffle. "Don't go"

"I have too Adam, I'm going crazy here, people think I'm going insane and for the first time in my life I think Carl has won, there's no getting around him" Aaron shrugged. "My mum will just have to find out the hard way and I hate that, that's going to happen"

"You have to come back mate" Adam wiped his eyes.

Aaron looked around Smithy, his home; he nodded and looked back at Adam. "Maybe..." he then leaned in and hugged Adam tightly, he squeezed his eyes shut and more tears fell. He let out a slow unheard breath and he pulled away. "I love you mate" he told him quickly and opened the front door and left.

Adam dropped his head into his hands and fell down onto the stairs and cried, his shoulders jerking up and down as he did. "I love you too" Adam spluttered as he sobbed.

And he really did.

TBC...


	35. He's Not Coming Back Is He?

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"He's Not Coming Back Is He?"

* * *

_**Jackson, **_

_**By the time you read this you'll have probably noticed some of my stuff is missing. Sorry I had to go, If I'd have stayed I would have been hurt more and I would have hurt him to what point I don't really know, and you would of hated me, well you might already do but I don't know. I just did what I thought I had to, but my mum, she didn't believe a word, like we thought. She chose Carl, I had to leave. **_

_**I don't know how long I'll be away but I just have to keep away, sort my head out. I'll call you in a few days, if you don't want anything to do with me then that's fine, nobody else does. But whatever happens from now just please know that I do love you, and I'm sorry for not listening.**_

_**All my love Aaron xxx**_

Jackson's jaw was clenched, his free hand in a fist, he turned and walked out of the room with the letter in his hand, tears filling his eyes as he walked. He left Smithy and stormed down to the pub. His entrance a moment later was very noticeable to the drinkers inside, he pushed the door open with force so that it hit off the wall, anger filled his expression and it was clear to see. Everyone was looking at him. Hazel frowned and watched her son. "Jackson love? What's wrong?"

Jackson turned to look at her briefly, then back at the bar, his jaw clenched tight shut, his breathing heavy and his heart was pounding in his chest. "Any normal parent wouldn't choose their fiancé over their child!" he spat.

Chas rolled her eyes. "It wasn't like that, I hardly had chance to reply"

"Silence speaks volumes!"

"Hey!" Carl intervened.

"And you can stay away from me while you're at it"

Carl leaned in. "Just watch it"

Jackson sniggered and shook his head.

"What is this about Jackson?" Chas asked.

Jackson raised his arm and slammed his hand down onto the bar which was holding the letter; he glared at her and slid it across the bar to her. "He's gone!" he told her loudly. "That's what this is about!" every part of his body was shaking, and tears streamed down his face. "And it's because of him!" Jackson spun around and pointed at Carl.

Carl shrugged and looked innocent. Typical of him.

Jackson walked away his head lowered as he walked for the doors and left the bar. Hazel and Paddy immediately got up and followed him.

...

"Jackson!" Hazel shouted. "Slow down love"

Jackson did as asked and stopped several metres in front of them, he wiped his eyes as he waited he glanced around the village. It felt empty, he felt empty.

"A-A-Aaron's gone?" Paddy stuttered the word and frowned in confusion.

Jackson nodded. "Don't know where he is, don't know if he's coming back" he shrugged, he couldn't hold it in any longer, he turned away then looked back at his mum and his face scrunched as his emotions fully came now and he let out a sob.

Hazel's heart broke; she hated seeing Jackson in a state like this. Paddy watched on sympathetically and he placed his hand on his shoulder as he received a hug from Hazel. "Come on let's get you into the house" she told him quietly and he allowed her to lead him up to the cottage. Paddy walked alongside.

...

Weeks and eventually months went by. Aaron did not get into contact after a few days like what was promised to him in the letter. In the days since Aaron left, Jackson went to work, paid his share of the bills for Smithy, he never thought of himself as soft and dependent but the ache in his heart for Aaron was immense and he missed him badly, each night he cried himself to sleep and began the same monotonous routine once more when he woke to a new day, another day of worrying about him, another day of not knowing where he was, another day of wondering if he'd forgotten about him, another day of wondering if he didn't love him anymore, another day of no Aaron in his life. How he needed him, well it was plain to see by anybody.

Paddy heard his cries sometimes but chose not to bring up it, Jackson was in his privacy in his room, knowing he'd heard might make him think he didn't have any because he certainly did, but most of all he didn't want to embarrass him. Not that it probably would get a reaction. Jackson was depressed and lonely, despite the people around him, around for him. Paddy missed Aaron too, he wanted him home so much, and the days of never ending fretting would never stop. Two months now, two months and not a word. It saddened them all; well bar one.

It was November the first now; Jackson sat up in his bed after dreaming Aaron had returned home and snuggled up to him in bed. He sighed, this happened most mornings, he should be surprised by now that it wasn't to be, but the hurt each time on the realisation that he still wasn't back was as bad as the first morning he dreamt that. He felt depressed instantly and cried. He eventually pulled himself together though and got out of bed and started the day. Usually he'd work but that was all he'd done every day since Aaron had left, even on the weekends he'd work but he chose not too today. Instead he left Smithy and walked.

Chas had tried to talk to Jackson a lot since Aaron left, but he didn't have the time for her. He remembered when Paddy first saw Chas after the passing of the letter in the pub, he'd told Jackson he went into the back room and basically told her to _open to her eyes_. His temper and desperation in his words had even shocked himself but then he'd calmed and got her to listen and he then told her to _just be careful and watch him, just on the off chance Aaron was right. _She hesitantly agreed hating the fact Carl could do that. She wasn't convinced before Paddy's words but if Paddy got involved then it said something to her, after that she was a little more watchful and wary around him. Paddy just hoped she had finesse about her so that Carl didn't catch onto her. After a few months she told Paddy she didn't believe he was doing anything, she'd tried to call Aaron to tell him that herself but he didn't pick up – he never did, not to her not to anyone, as far as they knew anyway.

Jackson now sat on the steps at the pavilion; this was Aaron's place he looked around and breathed in the fresh air. He nodded _definitely Aaron's place _he thought. He saw Adam approaching; he hadn't seen him around much, four times over the last few months, if that. He smiled slightly at Adam as he was stood in front and then moved to sit next to him.

"I don't think I need to ask how you're doing" Adam commented with a slight smile.

Jackson shook his head. "Nah, how are you doing? Been a while since I saw you"

Adam nodded, he regretted that but he'd had a lot of thinking and sorting of himself to do. "Yeah sorry mate I should have been around more for you"

Jackson breathed in the cold air and shook his head; he placed his hand on Adam's leg. "Nah mate, you've got your own life" he looked at him and smiled as he lifted his hand away. "You miss him?"

Adam nodded. "Everyday" he told him quietly. "I miss him so much and I love him"

Jackson smiled, nodding. "Me too" he then looked at Adam and caught something in his eyes. "Y-you love him?"

Adam looked away, lowering his head in the process and he nodded. "Yeah"

"Since when?"

"Since I first saw him but I didn't realise until after that night camping, I want him but I can't so when he does come back you don't have anything to worry about" he told him. "I like both" he answered, knowing that was what Jackson was probably wondering too.

"Ahh, well I trust you mate" he told him. "And to be honest I'm not surprised you love him" he nudged him with his shoulder, now leaning closer. "I mean, what's not to love eh?"

"Apart from the attitude, scowls and temper" Adam smirked, looking at Jackson.

"Lovable all the same" Jackson told him, and then he caught his breath and placed his hand to his mouth, his emotions catching him off guard. "I-I'm sorry" he closed his eyes, feeling the familiar burn behind his eyelids as the tears filled.

Adam put his hand on Jackson's arm. "It's alright, just let it out"

Jackson began to cry. "H-he's not coming back is he?" he wept and put his head in his hands.

Adam pulled him into a hug, soothing him, or at least trying too. He kept his communication with Aaron secret, he was fine and he was still in the country, he'd rented a house up north, Newcastle area, he hadn't gotten a job, who needed too with millions in the bank. Aaron had actually helped Adam a lot over the months, helped him overcome his fears of being bisexual, but Adam didn't think Aaron knew how much of a help he was. They'd talk about everything on the phone, and he did ask about Jackson. But when Adam asked when he'd return that's when Aaron seemed to clam up all the time until recently anyway, Aaron gave an answer, all he said was soon. But when was soon? For his mum's wedding? God he hoped so. There was however a hint of regret in his tone when they talked, regret of leaving, acting the way he did but Adam sensed he was scared to come back in case Jackson didn't want him anymore. He'd only know the answer if he got himself back to the village. But now holding the emotionally wrecked Jackson in his arms, Aaron had nothing to worry about and he'd tell him that. Jackson seemed to cling onto him for dear life. "He will mate he will. Soon...soon...shh it's alright" he comforted him.

TBC...


	36. Stop And Stare

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Stop And Stare"

* * *

So, a bit of a time jump here, my previous plans for this changed at the last minute, was really weird cause I was set on doing what was planned until I came to write this but never mind lol here is this idea. Thanks for your continued support!

* * *

_August 23rd 2011_

Jackson sighed as he looked at the calendar on the fridge door.

One year to the day that Aaron left the village, he hadn't contacted anyone. After it became clear that he wasn't coming back Jackson moved back into Dale Head. He couldn't stay in Smithy Cottage forever and Paddy had a woman in his life and he couldn't be around that, it wouldn't have been fair.

Over the last year Jackson hadn't moved on and found anyone else, his heart still belonged to Aaron despite the anger and bitterness that had built up toward him. Jackson hadn't went in search for him, he had no idea where to look, he could have been anywhere in the world.

Despite all of this he'd made a good home in Emmerdale, friends, he considered David one of his best mates he hoped he felt the same, others like Paddy, Marlon, Declan, the Sharma's. Jackson was a well liked man. He remembered a comment from Declan. 'It's nice to see a side of you without Aaron at your side' Every time Jackson remembered that he smiled because Declan was right, when Aaron was around, he was his only focus. With him sadly gone and obviously not returning anytime soon he mingled more and as time went on, he didn't forget about his boyfriend instead the feelings he had turned negative, verging on hate.

Jackson walked to the front door and opened it; it was a red hot sunny summer's day, his eyes narrowed at the differing brightness from inside of the house to outside. He watched as David ran across the road. "You still on for that drink tonight?"

Jackson walked down the path a few metres and stopped in front of him. He nodded. "Yeah, yeah sure, who else is coming?"

David scratched his forehead as he thought. "Declan, Nikhil, Andy, think that's it, Adam's away I think so yeah just those three and us"

Jackson grinned. "Cool, where is Adam anyway?"

David pouted and shrugged. "No idea mate, right I better get back to the shop, just wanted to check with ya" he smiled.

"No worries mate I'll catch you later"

David walked backwards. "Meeting at seven"

Jackson nodded and David turned and ran back over to the shop.

...

Adam stood in front a set of double doors that could be opened up but was blocked immediately by a steel barrier for safety. The flat was almost at the top of the building it overlooked the river and the surrounding city, which was beautiful from the view. Adam pinched his lower lip as he was transfixed by the sunlight glistening on the water below, then he let out a heavy sigh and turned and looked at his battered and bruised friend.

"You've got to come home Aaron"

"I' am home Adam" he replied quietly, a deep purple bruise surrounded his swollen upper lip.

Adam shook his head slightly. "No, no it's not, you ran away Aaron"

Aaron's head shot up. "Yeah and for good reason"

"But it's been a year mate, come on for god sake"

"I-I'm settled" he reasoned.

Adam simply had to look around, scrutinizing the sparse living area of the flat. He cocked an eyebrow. "Really?" he sighed, that wasn't important right now. "You wanna explain why I was called by the royal Victoria infirmary hospital yesterday afternoon; apparently I'm your next of kin"

Aaron nodded. "Because I gave them your number, to me you are so...I-I left it too long mate" Aaron shrugged.

"No, everyone else is in that village, but yeah you're right you are way overdue to come home" he sighed, his frustrations building. "What happened to cause this?" he flung his arms forward towards Aaron.

"Was just a bar fight and I was discharged wasn't I? I'll be fine" he snapped.

"Okay" Adam relaxed and sat down beside him. "You're right"

Silence fell upon them for a few minutes. "The constant phone calls and texts stopped six months ago, I felt good but sad at the same time. I should have gone home Adam..." he sighed. "I've been stupid I know, and I know why I didn't, I couldn't face seeing my mum getting hurt, I didn't want to hurt anyone and" he sighed. "Well everyone's better off without me aren't they?" he said sadly, his head bowed avoiding eye contact with Adam. "I'm just a letdown, always will be and" he scoffed causing his shoulders to jerk up quickly. "After everything I've done, I think they were due a break don't you?"

Adam tutted. "You're too hard on yourself, yeah alright I'll admit, if you did comeback the reception might be a bit frosty for a while but they'd be alright with you eventually"

Aaron knew that was true for almost everyone but maybe not Jackson. "Does he mention me?"

"...No" Adam told him hesitantly. "But I see it in his eyes, he's always thinking about you, your still there Aaron, he loves you"

Aaron sighed and stood up, anger flashing in his eyes. "Why can't I just be normal!" he exclaimed, and paced as he placed his hand on his forehead.

Adam smirked. "No one is normal mate, for example you, well you were straight, hated gays, yet you are gay, I turned Bi and fell in love with a mardy arse" he chuckled slightly and Aaron turned to him while shaking his head with a smirk planted across his lips. "Straight is considered the normal way, nothing is normal, and nobody is, yo-" he sighed. "You're just you mate, your own person and yes you've made mistakes, could have done things differently but it's all in the past now, if you want any chance of being with Jackson or any of your family again then you need to come back with me and try, and don't stop trying until you succeed, they will be alright eventually mate"

"Ohh I dunno" he groaned.

"Aaron!" Adam raised his voice. "What do you want?"

"I-I" he bit his lip. "I want Jackson"

"Well then get what little stuff you have packed and we'll leave" Adam told him.

...

Jackson's day was spent running, something Nikhil had got him into. Jackson was noticeably fitter than he'd ever been before and when he did make an appearance in bar west, he was a head turner or so Adam had said anyway, he shook it off, but he knew his body was completely muscle and he liked it a lot. He stopped running along the country road back to Emmerdale, he'd been out all afternoon, and he was going out in just over an hour, he was covered in sweat there were patched on his tight top, he took a few minutes breather and carried on, the home stretch.

Late! Jackson was never late but he had been this time and he walked into the packed pub where the guys were lining the bar waiting for him. "Sorry, been out running, only got back home about an hour ago" he spoke louder over the noise.

"It's alright, we were about to send out a search party though" Declan smiled and handed him a pint.

"Cheers mate" he took the pint and took a long sip. He smiled, that went down well. It's what he needed after that run, although the eye from Nikhil clearly said 'kinda defeats the object mate'

Jackson smirked and shrugged at him then Nikhil broke a smile. "So how many today?" Nikhil asked. Jackson had to think about that. "Off my head...err...fifteen miles?" he shrugged.

"Slacking mate" Nikhil teasingly shook his head in disapproval.

"Hey! Just cause I don't wear one of those monitor things, I'm not _that _into it, but I'm fit and healthy that's all that matters" he grinned.

"But yet you're single" Andy frowned then grinned.

"Pot kettle..." Jackson chuckled.

"Ouch..." David said. "And the banter begins, here's to a good night boys!" he raised his pint glass and they all clinked them together.

...

The pub was busy, every villager could have possibly turned out, weekends were always crazy, but it was Chas' night off. She, Paddy and Hazel sat around one table, chatting and laughing and some parts of the conversation changed to Jackson, about how he had changed and gotten over things eventually and made friends and just got on with life. It was a tough road to get to that point. "Maybe he just woke up one morning and thought sod it, he has, I will" Chas explained with a shrug.

Hazel nodded. "He probably did love"

"Sometimes I wonder what got into his head, Aaron I mean" Paddy began.

"Oh Paddy" Chas nudged him. "Let's not go there not tonight Paddy preferably never" she sighed and raised her glass to her mouth and took a drink, over time everyone's attitude to Aaron had changed dramatically; they were angry and unimpressed with his actions and behaviour.

At first she understood why he'd gone, but now a year later, he should have been back in the village after a couple of months. He had no reason to stay away, she didn't want that. But now she thought that maybe it was best if he did stay away, she, Paddy and Jackson would always love him but maybe it was just for the best.

Paddy's journey to this frame of mind had taken the longest, only until two months ago he had thought the same way as the Dingle's and Jackson. Aaron just made him so angry.

Hazel and Paddy were brought from their thoughts when Chas let out an audible groan. Paddy frowned. "What's the matter?" he asked.

Chas rolled her eyes. "Carl"

"Ahh" Hazel nodded. "He needs to get a grip, I mean the wedding was Christmas day last year!" she shook her head.

"Well then please tell him that" Chas laughed.

"Good job you ditched him at the altar" Hazel smirked.

Chas did too and nodded, raising her glass ever so slightly then took a sip.

Paddy watched Carl, making eye contact, conveying a silent message, he hoped he got it.

"Well any man who forces my kid to do what he did isn't worth it, and what's even more sickening...he's his father" she spat, shivering disgustedly at the thought, how could anyone do that?

...

Ten pm, and the pub was still bustling with life. Jackson, Nikhil, David and Andy had now moved and were sat at a table, considerably drunk now. Hazel shook her head at them all, but pleased they were enjoying themselves. They were all as bad as each other, bringing shots back with each round.

When she turned back Hazel sighed. "Well I might aswell go and sit with Cain, I'd get more conversation out of him than I am with you two" she smirked.

Chas and Paddy looked at her, they'd been in a deep drunken conversation Paddy's arm was around her. They were in love, it was different than the last time and they both knew and felt it.

"Sorry Hazel" Chas slurred.

Hazel chuckled. "Your alright love I'll finish this and be off"

Paddy nodded. "Oh, you got any plans tomorrow?"

Hazel shook her head. "No, why?"

"I'm making Sunday dinner; you're welcome if you fancy it?"

Chas nodded eagerly. They were best buddies these days.

"Go on then, twisted my arm"

"Great, come round for one then"

"I look forward to it, oh...but no stuffing on mine, ugh...just doesn't agree with me" he lips curled, she looked disgusted at the thought of that splodge of slop on her plate.

Paddy chuckled. "No problem, remind me in the morning though" he nodded.

Chas sat looking around, she smiled as she watched people her eyes then glanced over to Jackson's table and then – her eyes widened and she swallowed hard, it felt like the alcohol in her body had gone, she was sober. "Aaron..."

Paddy frowned."What about him?"

Chas looked at him. "N-No...Aaron, h-he's here"

Paddy's frown deepened and he looked across the bar, and there he was, Adam stood behind him and eventually the pub quietened.

Aaron's heart pounded in his chest, now regretting making the big leap and coming to the pub first. He swallowed hard. As the pub quietened and all eyes were on him, he didn't know where to look. Diane and Alicia were behind the bar, John and Moira were sat to his right, David, Andy, Nikhil and Jackson were sat to his left. Zak and Lisa were sat at the other end of the pub, Carl, Cain, Debbie, Cameron Val and Eric near them, then his mum, Paddy and Hazel – to name a few. Every single person was looking at him. He began to sweat; he concentrated long enough to look at Jackson. Jackson looked away instantly. But what did he expect after waiting this long to return?

"Get out!" the familiar voice called to him, he turned his head and he focussed on Paddy, he sighed and felt like he'd been hit in the chest by something hard. He went to speak.

"I think that's for the best don't you?" Cain called to him from across the bar.

Aaron lowered his head and turned. "Come on mate" Adam whispered and he led him out of the pub.

Seconds later they both heard the pub door open and close again behind them. "Hey!" Paddy shouted, the tone in his voice was clear to Aaron – anger.

Aaron stopped and turned. He didn't know what to say, he knew they wouldn't be impressed but this seemed like more than being unimpressed. Why was he here again? He frowned. Oh yeah, for Jackson. Hmm well the odds of them happening were extremely low now.

"How dare you!" Paddy yelled as he approached.

"P-Pa..." Aaron stuttered, he couldn't find his voice.

"Don't!" Paddy shot him down. "You disappear with only a god damned letter for an explanation!" he was seething with anger. "And now you just decide to come back! Well tough, no one wants you! You shouldn't have come back Aaron! You say you went away so you didn't hurt anyone?"

Aaron's eyes stared at the ground.

"Well it didn't work because you left a lot of hurt behind!" Paddy almost growled. "That lad...Jackson? You remember him do ya?"

"Paddy..." Adam softly intervened.

"And you!" he pointed. "You knew you where he was all this time! Been in contact, and you knew how much Chas, Jackson and me were hurting!"

"It's not Adam's fault!" Aaron shot Paddy a look.

Jackson quickly walked out of the pub to retrieve Paddy by Chas' request. He walked quickly up behind him and took him by the arm, casting a rather blank look at Aaron as he did. "Come on mate" he pulled him away.

Paddy sighed angrily. What? Did he just think we'd be alright with him? He shook his head as he walked back to the pub.

"J-Jackson..." Aaron spoke and he watched Jackson shake his head.

"Come on Aaron" Adam told him and took him by the arm.

Aaron shook him off and shouted "Jackson!"

Jackson turned quickly. "DON'T! DON'T YOU DARE! Go back to your life and I will do the same!" he spat and spun around and walked into the pub.

Aaron sniffled and Adam placed his arm around him. "Let's get back to mine, get something to eat...have a drink...this will all pass"

Aaron shook his head as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Yes it will mate" he reassured him. They walked to the car, and headed up to Butler's farm. Tomorrow would be a new day. Only then would he be able to try with them all.

* * *

TBC...


	37. This Is Us, This Is Where I Sleep

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"This Is Us, This Is Where I Sleep"

* * *

He began to stir, he moved his head from side to side and the light from the corner of the room was bright beneath his closed eyes, they fluttered open. He was quite dazed, Butler's farm was familiar but to wake up in it was not. His vision cleared and Moira was sat by his legs on the sofa, smiling at him. He was aware Adam's parents knew he was staying but he still felt awkward. He shifted into a sitting position and smiled at Moira. "What time is it?" he asked groggily as he wiped the sleepiness from his eyes.

"Half five" she replied softly.

Aaron nodded and smiled slightly. "Thankyou Moira, I'll get myself sorted or..." he sighed. "Well either way I'll be out of your hair soon"

Moira shook her head. "You mean running back to Newcastle?"

Aaron lowered his head and shrugged.

"Aaron love you're back now, me and John are aware of the situation and we want you to stay as long as you want too, you've been good to us" she smiled. "At least let us return the favour?" she asked.

"But when everyone knows I'm staying here"

"Hey" she placed her hand on his arm. "Don't you worry about that, we are more than capable of standing up for ourselves. You're only young Aaron, you've made a mistake and people need to be a bit more understanding of that considering your history too, if it were me I know what I'd do"

"Oh?" Aaron's eyes flashed wide.

Moira smirked. "I'd tell them where to go"

Aaron chuckled. "Well, last night I felt like it, but I don't have the right, me leaving told them what I thought, but I didn't mean it like that, as time went on I just got frightened of coming back" Moira rubbed his arm gently as he spoke. "Adam's been great" he told her and she smiled proudly. "I don't know what I'd do without him"

"He's a good lad"

Aaron nodded with a smile.

"Right so, this beating then?"

Aaron rolled his eyes with a smirk playing from the corner of his mouth. "Wrong place wrong time, I bumped into someone the other night, he made a comment about gays and I confronted him, he didn't like it, he hit me, I hit back, his mates joined in, was silly really, but it's done, another mistake to add to my long list" he smiled.

Moira nodded. "Adam's missed you ya know"

Of course he did, Aaron knew this. "Yeah" he smiled. "And I missed him; I always looked forward to his visits"

"He told me that they weren't too happy with him either"

Aaron shook his head. "I'm sorry Moira"

"Aaron come on it's alright, Adam knew what he was doing when he chose not to tell people you and him were in contact you are his priority it seems" she gave a bright smile. "And that's not so bad you're lucky to have him"

"Nah, I'm lucky" he smiled and moved his legs off the sofa and planted his feet down onto the carpeted floor. "I best get up; you want help on the farm today?"

"I doubt it, we employ staff for that" she chuckled. "But I'm sure John will appreciate the offer, but a word of advice?" she asked and waited until he nodded for her to go on. "People know you're back, maybe you should wait a day or so and then approach them again, maybe one by one this time"

Aaron let out a chuckle. "I hadn't banked on the pub being full and who knew it could accommodate the entire village"

Moira smiled. "I know you didn't but at least they know" she placed her hand on his leg and stood up. "Best start breakfast, bacon? I know you can't say no to that" she asked as she walked into the kitchen.

Aaron smiled and watched her go. "Please"

...

The wind whistled and howled as it swirled and blasted around him. He rested his forearms on the damp fence that had been soaked from the rain in the night, he looked around at the fields, this was home, and there was no denying that. It always would be. But he felt like an outcast, no doubt the Dingles may have banished him from the family; they'd done it before with Marlon. But then again, he was Livesy by name, a half King and Dingle in blood. Yes he was half Dingle, did that matter? Could they still have banned him from the family? Aaron didn't know and his eyes fell onto the wet blades of grass in front, all he knew was that everything was a mess because of him.

Inside the house Adam watched from the kitchen window as the busy morning family routine had begun. He frowned and turned to his mum. "How long's he been out there?"

Moira pouted. "About half an hour"

"Just leave him mate" John spoke. "Needs to figure stuff out"

"Yeah, you're right" Adam retreated and sat at the table.

Moira looked out the window and she dried some dishes. "Mind you he could have wrapped up a bit more, it's freezing out there"

"I'll go see him in a bit" Adam told them.

"Take as much time as you want son, things are covered with the farm"

Adam smiled at his dad gratefully. "Thanks dad"

John nodded and continued eating his sandwich.

A while later Adam emerged from the house and walked up to where Aaron was still standing. "Sleep alright mate?"

Aaron turned to him and nodded a thoughtful look in his eyes. "Yeah, cheers, but I was thinking maybe I should stay at the B&B, I have the money too"

"In the village?" It sounded like a stupid question but Aaron caught Adam's meaning.

He nodded. "I don't wanna get in the way and sleeping on the sofa is doing just that"

Adam shook his head. "No it's not, alright...w-why don't you stay in my room? I've got a pull out mattress, we could share, at least then you'd feel like you weren't in the way"

"Instead I'd be in your way"

Adam chuckled. "Don't be daft"

Aaron gave him a look and Adam sighed. "Nothing's going to happen, I'll restrain myself" he told him and Aaron let out a chuckle in response.

"But what if it does? Hypothetically..." Aaron asked.

"Well then hypothetically we'd have to deal with it afterwards, but I know where your heart belongs mate, and it isn't with me, I wouldn't want to do anything because I wouldn't get you in the end" It sounded soppy but they had come close to being intimate once over the last year, on one of Adam's visits when Aaron was at an extreme low but they stopped themselves and discussed it all. It couldn't happen and now contemplating it because they'd be sharing a room, they reiterated that fact together.

"Alright then" Aaron nodded. "Best make some room then" he smiled.

Adam smiled and nodded. "Already have"

Aaron chuckled. "What you like eh?"

Adam cleared his throat; he never liked broaching this subject. "So you took them this morning yet?"

Aaron rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yes" he said sharply.

"When was the last one?"

"Three weeks ago" Aaron's replies were blunt, but there was no negativity in his voice towards Adam.

"I don't like how close that is..." Adam groaned and Aaron heard. He nodded and looked at his mate.

"Anyway" he pulled himself away from the fence. "Your mum said to give it a day or two but I can't, I need to show them that I'm back and I intend on fixing it all"

Adam nodded. "Who you going to start with?"

Aaron let out a shakily breath and just looked at Adam.

Adam nodded, he got it immediately. "Dropping yourself straight into the deep end then?"

Aaron frowned, he cocked an eyebrow. "And which one of them is the shallow end?" he asked.

Adam was stopped, Aaron was right; none of them would be any easier than the one before when it came to Aaron seeking forgiveness.

...

An hour or so later Aaron walked into the village, his hands dug deep into his pockets, it was a horrible day, the wind hadn't let up and the rain was on and off. Moira offered to drive him but he politely declined. He had to psyche himself up for this, prepare himself in some way. But as he hurried down the village with his head down, avoiding contact with anyone who may be around the panic set in and now, at the bottom of the village, he looked up at the house, then turned to a new van, Jackson's. At least it was a sign he was home. He walked up the path and knocked on the door. He closed his eyes, his heart was pounding, he took slow deep breaths and his eyes darted ahead when the door swung open

As soon as Jackson realised who it was he immediately began pushing the door shut but it came to an abrupt halt just inches from the catch.

Aaron had placed his foot and hand in the way. "Please, Jackson just five minutes" he pleaded.

On the other side of the door Jackson closed his eyes, he was not going to let him get the better of him, he could still manage that while listening to what he had to say so he pulled open the door again and stepped aside.

They looked at each other for a split second before Aaron walked in past Jackson. Jackson closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Aftershave, why did he smell so good? No, the smell, it was disgusting, he would be allured. He opened his eyes again and watched as Aaron seemed to tense up then he turned to face Jackson.

His eyes narrowed. "Back towards the fireplace I see? Probably a good move"

Aaron tensed again. That was horrible. But he deserved it. He wouldn't rise to it though. He took in a breath. "I know you hate me"

Jackson scoffed. "Understatement"

"I know you wish I hadn't come back"

Jackson let out a laugh and nodded.

"What can I do?" Aaron asked quietly as he pressed his hands further into his pockets.

Jackson shook his head. "You can go I don't want to see you again, go and be with Adam like I know you want too or go back to wherever you were"

Aaron frowned. "No! No I don't want that, you know that!"

"Do I?" he folded his arms.

"He's known where you were all this time, obviously he went to visit you, I don't know what happened between you two"

"Nothing happened and that really isn't what I was expecting when I came here"

"Well you've come to the wrong place if you thought I'd hug you and take you back"

Aaron shook his head quickly. "I'm not that stupid!"

"But stupid enough all the same"

"I-I..." he stopped and sighed. "I just thought you'd be angrier, not calm..." he shook his head. "Not like this"

"Trust me Aaron, unless you want to see what anger is I suggest you leave"

"No, Jackson please" his features scrunched in frustration. "I'm so sorry, I just left it to long..."

"Fighting aswell while you were at it"

"I'm fine" he told him

Jackson shrugged. "I wasn't acting concerned, you could be dead for all I would care" he bit his lip maybe that was too much. He silently cursed himself as he watched Aaron close his eyes in an instant sadness "...I have mates, a good life, work is good – I certainly don't need you"

Aaron bit his lip; he had to stop the waterfall that was threatening. "What about wanting?"

Jackson shook his head and walked toward the door and opened it. He looked at Aaron. He was like a different person. "The days of wanting Aaron Livesy in my life have well and truly passed"

"You'd think I'd been gone ten years" Aaron said sadly.

"Excuse me?" Jackson asked calmly. "When you love someone as much as I did Aaron, a fucking year is long enough! Now get the hell out!"

Aaron had to force his brain to engage and he stepped forward as if he'd been pushed from behind. "I'm not giving up" he told him as he brushed past him in the doorway. Now outside he turned to face him once more.

"And I'm not giving in" Jackson replied and closed the door in his face.

Jackson leant against the closed door and expelled a deep breath, he closed his eyes, and they burned and tingled as tears raged behind his eyelids.

Aaron breathed in the cold wet air and walked up the village, with his head lowered he hadn't seen anyone and then bumped into someone, he looked up instantly. "S-sorry" It was Victoria. "Hi..."

Victoria frowned at him.

"Oh come on not you aswell, this has nothing to do with you" he felt he had a point; Victoria wasn't family, or close to them all.

"It does" she spat. "It does when I had to witness everyone that ever cared about you" she pointed. "Having to move on without you, do you have any idea what you put them through, they didn't know if you were okay, where you were, if you were ever coming back, so yes actually Aaron, it does have something to do with me, and the entire village if you must know because they all saw the same, and it was horrible, we were here for them, you weren't, you caused what you wanted to avoid in the first place" she shook her head. Yes she knew, she was told the details by Diane after asking questions one afternoon. "You should be ashamed of yourself"

Aaron bit his lip and nodded. "I' am"

"Good" she spat angrily and carried on walking.

Aaron sighed and shook his head; he continued walking up the village, casting a long glance on Smithy as he passed.

...

The sky was dark, he was soaking, several cars drove past but he didn't show any interest, he stared down at the ground as he walked. It wasn't until a car slowed beside him that he looked around. It was Cain. He carried on walking and heard the whirring of a window lowering. "Get in" Cain's approach was soft.

Aaron carried on for a few steps before realising his attempts at ignoring him would be futile. The car stopped and he pulled open the door and sat down. Now this was awkward, both men exchanged unsure glances for a few seconds before they both looked ahead out of the window.

"I'm sorry for being angry last night in the pub" Cain uttered his words quietly. Aaron frowned, was he hearing right?

"You have nothing to be sorry for Cain" Aaron told him.

"Well let's just say you have one less enemy alright" he told his nephew. "People do silly things in life Aaron, I should know, but we learn, we all do, you're just going through that now, although sometimes I wonder if you ever will learn"

Aaron nodded he felt the same.

"You should have come home after a few months"

He nodded again, swallowing hard as he did. "I know, I-I wish I had"

Cain nodded. "You probably would have had a frosty reaction if you had, you'd have had to win them round anyway, well not Paddy, then he was still okay with you"

"When did it change?"

"A few months ago"

"Ahh ok" Aaron replied.

"You'll do it Aaron it'll just take time that's all"

"Is Debbie mad?"

Cain chuckled.

"Come on it's not funny, we made plans but I abandoned it all"

"She changed the signage back if that's what you mean...no papers were signed so it wasn't too bad, yeah she was annoyed but she's alright now"

Aaron nodded. "Do you mind taking me back to the farm?"

"Sure but you can stay at ours if you want you know?" Cain offered.

"I can't stay in the village at the minute" he said quietly.

"I understand"

A few minutes later Cain drove off after dropping Aaron off at Butler's farm, he told his nephew he knew where he was if he wanted him. Aaron was grateful and thanked him. He sighed as he walked up past the staff car park. The place had significantly changed in such a short time. He was impressed.

He was caught off guard, it always did this, his entire body tensed, he wasn't sure but he thought he let out a cry before it all went dark. Unconscious, he fell to the ground and his limbs jerked, a horrible noise escaped from him as his muscles contracted forcing the air out of his lungs. His body jerked frequently, his arms and legs spontaneously hitched outward in a quick burst.

The skin around his mouth was slowly turning blue; his lips were an eerie ghostly shade of blue, and the skin around his fingertips also. He convulsed, spasms racked his body.

He was suffering from an epileptic fit. He'd been diagnosed six months ago, there was no reason for them to start, they just did and Aaron was put on medication instantly but sometimes he still became susceptible to the traumatic event that he always would have no recollection of.

No one could help him during the seizure in case it caused him injury but on some level he came home to be around people he cared about in case such a thing happened in their presence. Obviously it wasn't his entire reason, just a small one, his main reason was obvious, to make amends and get Jackson back. He wasn't so sure that could happen now.

Before he fell unconscious Aaron wasn't aware of anyone around, but minutes later Adam saw something strange and headed over, and quickly came to realise what it was, who it was in fact, came the realisation and Adam shouted for help. His dad ran from the office and quickly fell to his knees beside Aaron, he panicked himself. He was about to touch him but quickly flinched his hands away. "He has to come out of it on his own" John had seen this a few times in his life, one of his mates suffered from it but since them moving to Emmerdale, he hadn't kept in touch as much as he should have.

"What!" Adam demanded.

"Son! I can't do anything, he'll come out of it on his own and when he does, he'll be tired, confused, might not even remember anything"

"So we just have to leave him out here?"

John frowned. "No of course not, out here yes but we'll stay with him, we cannot move him, remember that in case you're there next time, it can hurt him son, do you understand?"

Adam breathed and nodded at his father's words. "I-I never seen this happen to him before, I-I knew but I haven't seen it" he shivered; the noises coming from his mate were haunting.

...

Evening was setting in, Aaron lay in Adam's bed, he felt strange, but this strangeness was familiar, that's how he knew what had happened. He felt embarrassed. A few minutes ago John left the bedroom after letting him know that they waited with him until his seizure stopped then they moved him inside, took of his wet clothes and got him into bed. John had said he'd slept for four hours. Now alone, he tried to recover, startle himself into some activity but he couldn't, he found his strength depleted. He frowned. _God my tongue hurts!" _he sighed. Another tell tale sign, this time he'd bit his tongue, the time before this it was the inside of his cheek. He shook his head and rested his head back against the headrest.

Aaron liked Adam's room, it was big enough for two anyway, the x box and TV were situated in front of the bed, the window was behind Aaron to the right a bit, the bed was up against the wall and beside him on the other wall was a wardrobe and a set of drawers, which Aaron had taken over, he brought his stuff in before leaving for the village.

He rested his eyes and his thoughts went to Jackson. Anger filled him. Jackson hated him. He knew why and he didn't stand a chance. Even before this, Aaron knew Jackson was better than him, he deserved better, and with that notion. He leaned down into his trackies pocket and pulled out his phone and text Jackson. _**I promised myself I wouldn't give up, but I can't even keep that promise. I haven't seen so much hatred from someone in my life. I'm glad your life is good now, you deserve it. I'm not leaving the village but I won't be trying anymore. A x**_

Aaron sighed heavily and dropped his phone onto the floor and he rested his head back closing his eyes again. Moments later the bedroom door opened and he opened his eyes and smiled weakly at Adam who entered carrying two mugs. "Tea?"

"yeah, put it down I'll have some in a sec" he explained and began to shift.

"No, Aaron its fine, just stay where you are for god sake"

Adam's tone alerted Aaron to just do as he was told. "Sorry"

"No, no" he sighed. "You just scared the hell out of me"

"It happens, I come out of it, I recover, I carry on, and that's the pattern"

"Well that's cruel" Adam said as he lowered himself onto the bed, sitting by Aaron's waist.

"Nothing I can do about it mate" he sighed and shrugged. Aaron was topless, and the duvet had fallen slightly with him sitting up.

"You warm enough?"

Aaron nodded and his phone beeped. He reached down and picked it up. _**Good, it's better for everyone if you left us to it. **_"Well that didn't work did it?" he said sadly and looked away, fiddling with the edge of the quilt.

"What didn't?" asked Adam.

"I text Jackson saying I wouldn't be trying anymore, but I didn't mean it, I did that to see if it caused a different reaction" he shook his head. "It didn't, apparently I have to leave them to it" Aaron sniffed and began to sob, it came fast and was powerful, he was inconsolable.

Adam comforted as always. He leaned in close to Aaron, his arm wrapped around his neck, and his free hand ended up flat on Aaron's smooth chest to calm him down; his chest was rising and falling heavily as the sobs racked his body.

His friend's touch helped, it did calm him, and he saw the hand on his skin as a marker, a guide to safety, where he was loved. It anchored him and the sobs ceased slowly. "I don't know what I want anymore" Aaron cried. "I don't know what to do; I think I'll just go again"

Adam shook his head. "No, please" his tone was soft but the nature of it was of begging.

...

That night Adam was back in his bed, the room was lit only by the brightness of the full moon, Aaron's steady breathing soothed him, he must have been asleep, he wouldn't be surprised, the day's events had certainly exhausted him.

Aaron lay on the mattress on the floor. He was warm, comfortable, his mind had stopped over thinking, over working, and he took it as a sign. Jackson Walsh no longer had a foot hold on his heart, as much as it pained him to admit that was truth; he had to move on too. _Maybe in another life _he thought sadly. Now there was the lad in the bed a few inches above him. He bit his lip, closing his eyes. He swallowed hard. "Adam..."

Aaron's soft voice permeated the room and Adam opened his eyes. "Yeah...?"

"C-Can I come up?" he asked and he heard Adam shifting in his bed.

"Course you can"

Aaron pushed away his duvet and stood up. Adam watched the moonlight define his physique casting a whitish grey look to his skin as the moonlight shone through the window. Adam bit his lip, Aaron was only in his boxers, and this would be the closest they'd gotten in a long while.

If this was the start of anything then he was going to let Aaron lead, he wouldn't jump to conclusions, right now he was going to wait for him to get into the bed and put his arm around him. He needed it. Aaron was a young man wracked with immense guilt at his actions and it left him reeling, unsure of which way to turn, unsure of what was the right thing to do. Adam saw this all the time. For now, Aaron had chosen Adam, or was it just for comfort, to be held?

His answers came when Aaron got into bed and wrapped his arms around him; he moaned as Aaron rolled to lie on top of him, he shuddered as Aaron placed gentle passionate kisses on his neck.

* * *

TBC...


	38. Regrets & Mistakes, They Are Memories

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Regrets & Mistakes, They Are Memories Made"

* * *

Aaron began to wake he'd heard someone coming up the stairs, it unnerved him a lot and he lifted his head off Adam's chest. There was a knock on the bedroom door and Aaron instantly panicked and he flung himself away from Adam waking him up in the process as he landed on the mattress below, it hurt! He winced but didn't have time to think and he pulled the duvet over his naked body and pretended to be asleep.

The door clicked open and Moira smiled at her son. "Just got your washing"

"Ah right, cheers mum" he propped himself up onto his elbows and wiped his eyes.

Moira put the pile on his computer desk and chuckled at Aaron. "He's cute when he's asleep"

Adam smiled nervously and looked down at him. "Uh yeah if you like..." he frowned.

Moira shook her head with a smile. "Breakfast will be ready in ten" Adam nodded and watched her leave. Once the door shut Aaron opened his eyes. "I thought she was going to catch us"

Adam lay on his side and looked down at him. "Coming back in?"

Aaron smiled. "Thought you'd regret it..."

Adam shook his head. "Never" he told him.

Aaron nodded and pulled back his duvet. "You come down here" he told him and Adam sat up and slid down to the warm body awaiting him. Aaron wrapped the duvet over Adam and looked at him.

"It hasn't escaped my attention that you only talked to Jackson once and gave up Aaron..." Adam sighed. "Next thing you're in my bed and we're having sex"

Aaron nodded and rested his head on Adam's chest, his fingers running through the small dark hairs. "I can't make him want me, I'm not going to try, I know what I want and it was right in front of me all along, that night when we were close to having sex when you visited, we should have..." he sighed. "If I knew what I know now"

"If we did we'd have been together now about six months" Adam smiled.

Aaron nodded thoughtfully. "Do you not think it's strange?" he blurted.

"Strange?"

"Yeah" Aaron nodded. "We're best mates, and now, we...we are together"

"I never saw this coming" Adam admitted, a smirk playing across his lips.

"Me either" Aaron chuckled.

"Are we going to tell people?" Adam wondered.

Aaron pouted. "I dunno do you want to?"

"Hmm, maybe tell my mum and dad, but that's it, if people guess then they guess" he shrugged."My family know I'm bi it won't be a shock, well it might be but only cause it's with you" he grinned. "Andy knows, Alex, Jackson obviously but that's it...I'm not bothered about anyone else to be fair"

Aaron nodded. "Alright then, we'll tell them"

"How do you feel today?" Adam asked.

"Err got the aches" he sighed. "I'll probably try walking it off"

"Don't push it though" Adam told him. "Come on we better get some breakfast, you haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon when my dad brought you up some soup"

Aaron sat up. "Oh yeah" he'd forgotten about that. He crawled forward to reach for his clothes and sat back where he was. He swallowed hard. "We're doing this then?"

Adam nodded. "Yeah, see how it goes" he then sat up and leaned forward and placed his hand on the side of his neck, his skin was so soft and his lips, well they were even softer, heaven they were. Both lads passionately kissed, their tongues dancing together until their need for oxygen over ruled everything else.

...

Aaron walked down the stairs in front of Adam with a spring in his step and he rounded the corner to see only Moira in the kitchen. "Well Moira, a few seconds earlier and you'd have caught us" he smirked and Adam glared, but an urging feeling to laugh was overwhelming and Aaron could see it when he turned to face him.

Moira turned around, frowning. "I don't get ya"

Adam found his words. "M-Me and Aaron, we..." he sighed.

Aaron rolled his eyes with a smile. "We're together"

Adam nodded "Yeah..." he swallowed hard, he was nervous. "So we thought you should know because you'd probably realise soon anyway"

"Oh...I err...well..." she didn't really know what to say, her first reaction was worry, worry for her son. "That's great but erm..."

Aaron sighed and his shoulders slumped. "Jackson?"

"You can hardly blame me can you love?"

Aaron shook his head. "No but Jackson doesn't want me, I know now, and this...me and Adam it was staring me in the face we're going to give it a go but I'd really like it if we had your approval"

Moira smiled and nodded. "Of course you do I just don't want him messed around that's all Aaron"

"Mum!"

"I'm doing my job" she looked across to Adam.

"No, I know you are" Aaron smiled. "And I won't"

"Alright then, sit down and eat" she told them. Once seated Aaron sighed and got up again and stood next to Moira and reached for his medication tub that he kept in the cupboard. He took it out and sat back down."This is a right pain in the arse" he complained as he opened it up and put three tablets in his mouth.

Adam nudged him with a smile and shook his head. "Just get them down ya"

Once swallowed Aaron spoke again "Thanks for yesterday Moira, must have been scary"

Moira let out a breath as she sat down with her own breakfast. "Uh yeah but we're just glad you're okay" she smiled.

...

About an hour later Aaron walked down into the village and walked up the gravel and stopped outside the garage. Cain looked at him and Aaron shrugged. "Got your text"

Cain watched him. "You want to make things right don't you?"

"Well yeah but I don't think anyone wants to hear it" he shrugged.

"I miraculously managed to get your mum to come here in about ten minutes, so..." he took a breath. "I've given you a chance"

"She'll just walk off"

"Well then that's up to you to make sure she doesn't!" Debbie shouted angrily, startling Aaron. "You've got the Barton's and us two, that's it Aaron, not good really is it?"

Aaron shook his head.

"Right go on, get in here and hide or whatever" Cain shrugged. "Come out when I call for you, it's your chance mate"

Aaron nodded. "Thanks Cain"

"No problem" he replied as Aaron walked past him and made himself invisible until told to come out.

...

Ten minutes had passed and Aaron could hear the gravel clicking together as someone walked closer, it had to have been his mum, and the place had been quiet since he sat crouched down in front of the car Cain was working on.

"So what's so urgent?" he heard her usual screeching tone.

"I wanted a word about Aaron; I think everyone is going about this the wrong way"

"Oh really?" Chas asked she couldn't believe this.

"You were as relieved as I was that he came back you just won't admit it!"

Chas didn't reply.

"Aaron...come on" he called and Aaron stood up, now in her view. He swallowed hard and stepped over.

Chas shook her head and stepped back.

"No!" Cain pleaded. "Come on sis for god sake! After everything he's been through don't you think he needs his mum!" he was frustrated and spoke through gritted teeth.

Tears filled her eyes. "He has never needed me" she wept and the sound broke Aaron's heart.

He stepped forward. "I have, I still do...I've made so many mistakes I don't know where to start, mum please I'm so sorry"

"You could have been dead for all I knew!" she yelled as she cried, waving her arms in his direction and he took it all, the onslaught from his mother that he deserved.

"I was so worried in the beginning! I understood" her cries were raging as she spoke quickly, all her feelings spilling out. "I believed you and I didn't marry him, you were right" she shrugged. "You could have came back, but you didn't...sleepless nights worrying about you Aaron, waiting by the phone and then six, seven months down the line it got easier, started to accept it but you've hurt us all, hurt us!" she spat. "And you come waltzing back here with Adam, Jackson is heartbroken!"

Aaron frowned. "What's he been saying?"

"He's got it into his head there's something going on between you two"

Aaron sighed and looked down to the ground. "If this is going to go anywhere then I have to be honest from the start, there was never anything going on between me and Adam, b-but there is now"

"Oh" was all she said, her eyes beginning to dry up.

"Can you forgive me mum? I'm not going to run off again, I just couldn't stay and watch _him_" his fist clenched and he shook his head.

Chas frowned and found herself stepping closer and she put her hand to his bruised face. "What happened to you?"

"It was just a fight mum"

"Some things never change do they?" she smiled.

Aaron did too and he shook his head. "Nah not really" he told her. "I want us to have a proper relationship again, I made a mistake mum, I can't go back and change it but I can fix the future"

Chas nodded, she was surprised at herself, throughout the year she envisioned that exact moment taking place before her and every time she imagined herself punishing him but now seeing him genuinely sorry she faltered, she was his mum after all; she had to stand by him through everything. That, she had forgotten, too blinded by hatred and bitterness, till now anyway. "Let's go for a walk"

Aaron's eyes widened and he looked at Cain who gave him the nod. He stepped forward and they walked away together.

Cain and Debbie looked at each other and both let out a sigh of relief then a smile.

...

They hadn't walked far; they ended up both of them sitting on the swings in the park. Their heels pushed gently so that they swung slowly back and forth and in unison. "So where were you?"

"Newcastle" Aaron answered quietly.

Chas let out a laugh and shook her head. "We had no idea where you were, you could have been at the other side of the world but you were only a few hours' drive away"

Aaron nodded. "I' am sorry ya know"

Chas nodded. "I know"

"How did Carl react?"

"I jilted him, he wasn't happy at all, shouted about you in the church"

"Doesn't surprise me"

"I walked out, went back to his place and packed my stuff, he followed and we argued, that's about it and I left...Paddy took me in"

"Oh" his eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"We are together"

Aaron grinned. "Wow" he nodded smiling. He was very happy about that.

"It's different to last time, this time it's real, I love him" she smiled.

"That's good, I'm happy for you both"

Chas smiled. "Soo you and Adam? Didn't see that one coming"

"Me either, it was staring me right in the face"

"I hope it's not because Jackson doesn't want you and you're flinging yourself at the next man who's willing to show you attention"

Aaron shook his head. "It's not, I like him, he was my mate before this, we're seeing how it goes and if it doesn't then we'll still be mates, I-I I mean I don't know if I love him, I did as a mate but that's different, if I end up loving him in that way then great I just have to wait and see..."

"Do you want to love him?"

Aaron smiled and looked across at his mother and nodded. "I do yeah"

"I'm happy for you too but this will break Jackson's heart"

Aaron looked up and saw him in the distance walking by; he merely looked for a few seconds then looked back at her. "I broke his heart long ago I don't think this will come as a surprise to him"

"It will though" she knew it would, she had sat consoling him after Aaron's visit the previous day and she listened to him spilling how he felt. She sighed, her stomach twisted and curled into tight knots. This wasn't going to be good.

Aaron shrugged. "I blew my chance mum, got to move on"

Chas remained quiet but got up from the swing and leaned down and hugged him. It caught him by surprise and he hugged back tightly. He'd missed her."I missed you" he whispered.

Chas pulled away, tears filled her eyes and she knelt down in front of him holding his hands. "I missed you too, what else is new?"

"Well" he breathed. "As I'm being honest" he smirked.

"Go on son"

"Six months ago I collapsed in public...I was shopping" Chas immediately frowned. "When I woke up in hospital they told me I suffered an epileptic seizure"

Her mouth opened. "Oh my god! A-Are you alright?"

Aaron nodded. "I'm on tablets"

"Good, good...do they work?"

Aaron scoffed. "No"

"What do you mean?"

"No, no...They do but I had a fit yesterday at the farm, even though I'm on medication things can still trigger them to happen"

"Jesus Aaron..."

"So..." he became teary as he began. "I do need you, I shouldn't have left"

"No" she nodded. "You shouldn't have" she leaned up again and pulled him into her arms.

Aaron felt all his stress dwindle away as he cried them out in his mother's arms. A flood erupted from within...it was much needed.

* * *

TBC...


	39. We Always Were and Always Will Be

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"We Always Were and Always Will Be"

* * *

Aaron was preoccupied he had been all morning, he'd got up and left Adam in bed and headed out, he was now in the village waiting for his takeout cup of coffee. He sighed and frowned at Brenda. "It's just a coffee, how long does it take?" he snapped.

Brenda turned as she placed the plastic cap on the cardboard mug. "Watch that tone" she told him.

"Excuse me?"

"I- err...I..." Brenda stuttered, unsure of his behaviour, she always had been.

"Yeah just what I thought" with a shaky hand he slapped down the money onto the counter and with an annoyed shaking of his head he turned to walk out but was halted when he saw Hazel just a few metres away. He rolled his eyes and sighed and continued to move past her.

The look on her face was a close glare, she gave the impression she wasn't to be messed with and Aaron knew that already. "Apologise to Brenda"

Aaron gave a look of confusion, his eyebrows arching into a deep frown, he scoffed. "I don't think so"

"We need words"

"You have nothing to do with me and my life so Hazel, no" he shook his head. "No we don't" he continued and he stepped forward.

"And who made sure of that Aaron?"

Aaron stopped again and turned to her "Oh here we go, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson! – I was wondering how long _it would take!_" he spoke angrily through gritted teeth.

"You're shaking" she noted, looking down at the cup of coffee in his hand.

Aaron looked down at his hand and it was, this had happened before, he assumed it was his medication because he'd not long taken any, would explain his mood aswell. He looked back up at Hazel. "I'm fine"

Hazel raised her eyebrows.

"Go on then if you're going to have a go then you might aswell get it over with" he told her.

"Hmm...Adam?"

"What about him?" he asked.

"True is it?"

"Yeah not that it's any of your business"

Hazel reached out with her arm and slapped him. Brenda watched carefully from the counter. "You still love Jackson Aaron I can see it, you're just confused"

Aaron placed his hand on his red raw, sore tingling cheek. He clenched his jaw. "Jackson doesn't want me! And to be honest _Hazel_" he leaned forward invading her space. "I don't blame him!" he yelled and stormed out.

Hazel closed her eyes, her body shook from anger and she shook her head and looked back at Brenda. "S-Sorry about that"

"It's alright; no one else was here, are you okay?"

Hazel nodded. "Yeah, gunna see Chas, something isn't right with him"

Brenda nodded and Hazel left.

...

After Hazel's visit Chas was concerned and it all wasn't right. Him being with Adam and his blatant love for Jackson, she couldn't let him hurt them. Something had to be done. After thinking quietly to herself she decided to call Moira and arrange a 'meeting' of sorts. Moira had agreed almost immediately, she told her she'd get Adam to join. He needed to hear it.

Paddy walked through from the surgery and saw Chas putting on her coat. "Where are you going?"

Chas sighed. "It's Aaron he had a go at Hazel and she said he didn't seem right, she slapped him" she rolled her eyes and Paddy straightened up.

"Right and why should you have to sort it all out?" he asked.

"Because I'm his mum, I sat and listened to his explanations and apologies which were genuine you should try it" she told him. "I-I wasn't there enough in the past alright, I want to be now, especially now we have him back"

Paddy couldn't argue with her. He had no intention too, he simply nodded. "Let me know how it goes"

Chas nodded and as she turned to walk out.

A while later Moira and Chas sat around the table in Butler's farm waiting for Adam. He barged in after a few minutes. He instantly frowned, what was going on? "What's going on? You seen Aaron anywhere?"

Chas shook her head and looked to Moira to take the lead.

"W-Why don't you sit down love?"

"Why do I feel like I'm being ganged up on" he smiled nervously as he sat down between both women.

"No, love were not but we do have to talk to you and it's really important" Chas told him.

...

Paddy walked along the grass with his hands in his pockets. "I thought I'd find you here" he told him as he sat beside him on the steps of the pavilion.

Aaron didn't know what to do, he hadn't seen Paddy properly the last time was outside of the pub the night he returned. He knew Paddy was angry and was nowhere near forgiving him. So, why was he there? Aaron looked away.

"You know me too well" he replied quietly and Paddy let out a quiet chuckle and he nodded.

"Do you regret leaving?" Paddy asked.

Aaron closed his eyes, there it was. "For as long as I did yeah"

Paddy nodded. "And the hurt of the people left behind?" he asked.

Aaron began jerking his leg; he still wasn't looking at his _dad, _his eyes were shut tight, he felt the tears burning. He let out a slow shaky breath.

Paddy watched, tapping his foot off the ground quickly, he knew what was coming. "Aaron?" he asked quietly.

"Of course I do" he blurted and it was followed by a sob.

...

The atmosphere in Butler's farm was rather tense. Chas and Moira waited for Adam's reply to their question.

"Yeah I do" he answered. Their question was simple '_Do you think Aaron still loves Jackson?'_ his head was lowered he was staring at the table. Chas and Moira looked at each other both nodding slowly.

"He can't be with me" Adam continued before looking up at both women. "He needs to be with Jackson" he told them.

"And you're ok with it?"

"Well" he sighed. "Yeah, I know it's not his fault, I don't think he's done anything wrong" Adam smiled warmly. "And I won't let this change the friendship we had before, well we barely left that behind, maybe it's a good thing ending it now"

"He doesn't mean to hurt anyone you know?" Chas asked.

"Of course he doesn't, I know...I love him Chas, I do, and I still can as mates"

Chas nodded and reached across the table and held his hand.

...

The silence was palpable, only breached occasionally by a slight breeze. "Why can't you look at me?" Paddy asked.

"Because I can't see the disappointment and anger in your eyes again" he told him as he wiped his eyes.

Paddy closed his eyes and he sighed. "I-I'm not angry anymore, I was disappointed yeah and angry but your mum, she made a point today that we have you back, life's too short, and we've got through other scrapes before. I want you to come home Aaron"

Aaron turned to him. "Why?" he asked, his voice whispery.

"Because we love you and you can't stay at the Barton's forever, we want you home Aaron"

Aaron took only seconds before he was nodding and Paddy smiled and pulled him in close. Aaron clung on to him. "I'm sorry Paddy, I really am, I didn't mean to hurt you, anyone, I just thought I was doing the right thing and I'm just really sorry"

Paddy stroked Aaron's cropped gelled black hair. "I forgive you"

Aaron held on tighter.

"I'll leave you to it, but your room is still yours" Aaron pulled away and nodded with a smile. "I'll uh, I'll be back later"

Paddy smiled and stood up. "Good man"

...

It was an hour before Aaron walked back into Butler's farm. He saw Adam sat at the dining table. "Hey" Aaron smiled. "Listen I'm sorry I left this morning, I was in a right one"

"You forget that I've seen them before" Adam spoke bluntly, his elbows rested on the table and his chin rested against his clasped hands.

"Yeah but it's different like this isn't it"

"No" Adam spoke quietly and shook his head.

Aaron frowned and his eyes caught sight of his bags on the floor in the doorway to the lounge. "Why is my stuff down here?" he asked sharply.

"We need to talk Aaron"

"No! Adam..." he sighed. "Look whatever I did, I'm sorry"

"You're desperate to be loved Aaron" he reached out and held his hand. "You haven't done anything wrong, you can't help how you feel for someone and I know deep down the love you have is for Jackson"

Aaron shook his head and chewed on his bottom lip.

"You do Aaron, We can't be together and I'm ok with it" he smiled and retracted his hand and he sat up in his chair. "We will still be mates, as good as or better than before"

"Everyone says that" he scowled, clearly upset.

"But I mean it" he chuckled. "Look Aaron, I mean it because I need you in my life, I need your help"

Aaron frowned. "Help?"

"The gay bars and stuff" he told him. "I know I've been before but I thought I was straight then..." he chuckled.

"Oh" Aaron then smiled.

"I have to find someone and you have to get that someone back"

Aaron let out a sigh. "I can't, he hates me"

"You've hardly tried mate, look Aaron...I will never forget the time we've been together, the sex, lovemaking whatever it was I won't forget it, it has been amazing but it stops now before anyone gets hurt because soon enough you'll realise Jackson doesn't hate you and with me and you just mates like before it won't be complicated and we won't get hurt"

Aaron nodded, Adam made sense.

"It's never going to be Adam and Aaron, it's always been and will be Aaron and Jackson...you know it, everyone does, you're meant to be"

Aaron began sobbing again, god he was so emotional it was pathetic! Or so he thought, he just had a heart deep down that's all. "I'm sorry"

Adam shook his head. "You don't have anything to be sorry for" he got up from his chair and walked a few steps to him and hugged him. "You don't mate...do one thing for me?" he asked as he pulled away and looked down at his mate.

Aaron nodded as he wiped his eyes.

"Go to Dale head and don't leave there until you make Jackson realise you aren't giving up"

Aaron sighed. "He won't lis-"

"Hey, don't write him off"

Aaron then nodded and stood. "I'm sorry Adam, I didn't mean to lead you on or whatever I really didn't"

"I went into this with my eyes wide open" he told him.

"What made this happen?" he asked as he walked over to his bags.

"Our mothers" Adam smiled. "They just care, don't be mad"

Aaron shook his head. "Nah, I'm not, well then..." he approached Adam. "This is me out of here"

Adam nodded, forcing himself to keep his emotions in check.

Aaron stepped forward and hugged him. It was a tight hug, a communication of sorts and Adam understood everything Aaron was trying to convey. He bit his lip and closed his eyes and when Aaron pulled away he smiled. "Friday, half six and we'll head into town"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "You're on"

"Good" Adam nodded and watched as Aaron opened the door.

"I'll text later, let you know what happens"

"Good, and remember Aaron, nothing's changed" he told him.

Aaron smiled. "See ya in a bit mate" he walked through the doorway and closed it behind it.

...

Jackson sighed. "What's with all the bloody visitors today" he grumbled as he walked to answer the door, when it opened he froze, his heart instantly began to pound in his chest, his mouth went dry. "Aaron"

"Just, just give me a minute..."

Jackson shook his head and shut the door, hearing Aaron yell. "I'm not giving up, I didn't mean what I said!" as he closed the door on him – again.

"Fine!" Aaron stepped back with his arms out, and then he let them drop to his waist. "I'll sit right here until you let me in!" he screamed. _After I've been for supplies _he thought, and quickly ran over to the shop, he got a bar of chocolate and four cans of lager and was back on the doorstep within five minutes. He tapped on the door. "Just letting you know I'm still here!"

Jackson was angry as he sat on the sofa, he shook his head in disbelief, but when he heard Aaron's cocky, sure of himself tone just raised an eyebrow and turned in the direction of the door then looked back at the quiet TV and settled into the sofa.

The seconds, minutes and hours passed. Jackson glanced over at the clock, it had been three hours and it was getting into evening now. He walked over to the window and looked out, he was still there. He shook his head in disbelief. Yes, he still loved him, but he had to punish him for what he did, but for what Aaron was doing it said a lot. He sighed, troubled...he was told about Aaron and Adam, he wasn't surprised but he understood it all after hearing Chas and Hazel's thoughts about it and they were probably right, Aaron was confused, they must have all had words because now he'd been sat outside the hours for three hours, determined or see it seemed.

He walked over to the door. "This won't work Aaron" he shouted through.

"Yes it will!" Aaron answered. "I love you!"

Anger invaded his senses now and he swung open the door and looked down at Aaron. "How could you possibly love me!" he demanded.

Aaron shot up from the concrete step and swung around to him. "But I do!"

"Why are you causing a scene?" Jackson demanded.

"I'm not! You are! You couldn't have just let me in, oh no, Jackson knows best! Well if you know best _Jackson _why don't you admit that you do love me!"

Jackson rolled his eyes. "You don't deserve my love!"

"I will again!"

"Oh yeah, how? Can you manage without running again?"

"I'm not running anywhere!"

"Hmm, I think Adam's bed counts!"

"We stopped that, Adam knows I love you and it wouldn't have been fair, we talked and he sent me here to make things right and I'm trying, god Jackson I swear to god! I'm sorry I left I really am! And me and Adam it wasn't like, argh, I can't talk to you about that, but its not like what we had, have..." he sighed. "It's Aaron and Jackson; I know it...pleas-"

"Aaron?" Jackson frowned and watched as Aaron fell to the floor unconscious, and he scrunched his face in reaction to the noises coming from him. "Oh for god sake, just get up, this little stunt won't work!" he yelled.

At that moment John walked out of the shop and headed to the car but heard Jackson's raised voice, he looked over and saw a familiar figure lying on the lawn. He immediately rushed over at about the same time Jackson realised something was really wrong.

Jackson was knelt beside him, he moved to reach out to him, to stop him, to calm the body jerks and the muscle contractions. His lips were a blue colour.

John fell to his knees. "Don't touch him!" Jackson immediately backed away. "Twice is a few days" he sighed shaking his head.

"What? What do you mean?"

John frowned. "You don't know?"

"Why would I? John! I-I think I know what this is but..." he sighed, helpless, he couldn't help him.

"He's epileptic Jackson, apparently he was diagnosed six months ago, just started out the blue" John frowned when he noticed the cans beside the step. "Oh you stupid idiot!"

Jackson looked like information would be a bit more helpful.

"He shouldn't drink, hell, he can't drink!" he sighed.

"What do we do?"

"Nothing until the fit stops, then we can move him inside"

Jackson nodded. "Uh yeah, yeah course"

"Was he here to do what I think he was?" John asked.

"Trying to get me back?"

John nodded.

Jackson rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb and put pressure on them as he did. He sighed. "Yeah...If I'd have just let him in!"

"It's not your fault, he knows he can't drink"

"I don't just mean that" Jackson said sadly.

"What do you mean...?"

Jackson's eyes lay fixed on Aaron. "If I'd have just supported him before he left...if I'd have been there for him more than I was and I mean more"

"You can't think like that"

"Can't help it when I'm sat here feeling helpless" he sighed and looked at John. "I don't blame Adam"

John smiled.

"I don't blame Aaron either" he shrugged. "things just got messed up"

"Fix them" John's words struck a chord. _Stop playing games Jackson _he told himself. He wanted him back, of course he did but they'd do it slowly.

* * *

TBC...


	40. So We'll Crawl

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"So We'll Crawl"

* * *

The only sound that came from the living room was of the ticking clock on the wall and Aaron Livesy's breathing.

Jackson sat in the arm chair across from him, he sat with a mug of tea in his hands which had now long since gone cold, he had just watched him constantly after he and John got him inside Dale head to recover.

Jackson and Aaron were the only people in the house. Jackson raised an eyebrow, just how it should be. But this, this wasn't the way. He loved Aaron so much he really did, but he'd left him and didn't come back, not until a year later.

His first feeling was of anger upon seeing his boyfriend again. He pushed him away into Adam's bed, that's how he saw it anyway. He didn't blame Aaron for what had happened with Adam, he knew there would have been confusion on Aaron's part but as for Adam, after being told Adam ended it and sent him there to make things up he respected the lad more. Jackson made a decision not to make an issue of the Adam/Aaron relationship that had gone on.

If he thought about it he was jealous, Adam got to have Aaron in ways he'd wanted him for the last year but was unable too, now they would both try and make it up but slowly. A year was a long time; they simply couldn't pick things up from where they left off.

...

"Jackson?" Aaron's groans permeated the silence as he began to shift up onto his elbow. His expression was one of confusion and pain.

His words ushered Jackson out of the chair and to Aaron's side, he perched himself on the edge of the sofa and placed his hand onto Aaron's chest. "You have to rest Aaron"

A flash of embarrassment crossed his eyes and Aaron's cheeks flushed to a light shade of red. Jackson half smiled. "It's alright" he soothed as Aaron lay back.

"Ahh" he groaned placing his hand to his head. "It's killing me"

Jackson nodded. "I'm not surprised. D-Do you want a drink?"

Aaron frowned, but not in attitude it was by sheer pain and he nodded. "But wait..."

Jackson nodded.

"I'm sorry Jackson" he breathed out. "About Adam, about this...about everything" a sob escaped him and it caught him by surprise.

Jackson shook his head slowly, staring into the watery pool of Aaron's blue eyes. "It's alright" he nodded. "If I'd have known Aaron I wouldn't have made you wait out there and to drink, that's what caused this isn't it?" he asked.

Aaron wiped his eyes, his arms felt like lead weights. He nodded. "Most likely"

"When were you diagnosed?" Jackson asked softly.

"Six months ago" Aaron answered the questions to the point.

"How serious is it?"

Aaron chewed on his bottom lip. He sighed. Was it not plain to see? "Very" he told him.

Jackson nodded. "Why were you drinking then?"

"I-uh, I forgot"

"You forgot?" Jackson asked with raised eyebrows.

"Yes, I forgot it's horrible Jackson, my whole life has to be altered because of it, I can't drive, well...no I can but I daren't...I can't drink, I've gotta be careful with stuff in case it interferes with my medication but like today or whenever it was I forgot and just wanted a drink" he sighed, he was clearly exhausted.

"You scared?"

Aaron looked down at his clasped hands and nodded.

Jackson let out a breath. "W-What you said earlier..."

"I didn't mean to be nasty"

"But you were right, I thought I knew best, I thought giving you the cold shoulder would make you realise how much you hurt me"

"I did know, I do" Aaron told him quietly. "And I meant what I said, I do love you"

Jackson nodded. "And I love you" he reached for Aaron's hand and gripped tightly. "That's why it hurts" his words were forced past the lump in his throat and came out hoarse, emotion clearly evident in his voice as his eyes sparkled with tears. He calmed himself and after a few seconds he spoke again. "What do you want Aaron? What do you really want because I need you to know? _I _need to know"

Aaron looked into Jackson's eyes and his emotions caught his breath once more and tears ran down his face. "I want you Jackson" he wiped them away quickly and looked back at Jackson. "It's always been you, you were my first and you will be my last, Aaron and Jackson" Aaron nodded. "I shouldn't have needed reminding and I am so, so sorry"

Jackson nodded. "Okay"

"Okay?" Aaron asked with a frown.

"Yeah" he blew out a breath. "We'll start again"

Aaron smiled.

"Slowly" Jackson added but Aaron's smile didn't falter and he shifted to sit up to be closer to him.

"No, Aaron you have to rest"

Aaron nodded. "I know" he told him despite feeling dizzy but he carried on until his arms wrapped around Jackson's body. He felt more bulky and toned, he liked it a lot, and it was Jackson. It was home. "I'll never leave you again" he whispered into his ear.

"And I'll be there more for you, like I should have been"

Aaron nodded and kissed his neck. "I love you" then he buried his head into Jackson's neck and Jackson held on tight.

...

Aaron lay asleep on the sofa and Jackson was pottering around in the kitchen making tea. He was proud of it actually, it had been a while since he made a full on roast. He heard the front door click open and he rushed out of the kitchen but the voice had already started.

"Oohh! That bloody chav!" she was clearly angry.

"Mum!" Jackson hushed her quietly.

Thankfully Aaron was in a really deep sleep.

Hazel rolled her eyes when she realised Aaron was there and she quickly walked through to the kitchen. "Why is he here? Asleep? Got his foot in the door again has he?!" she demanded quietly.

"Yes" Jackson hissed. "He has but we're going slowly, my decision mum"

Hazel sighed having to accept that fact.

"And he's asleep because he had a seizure outside on that lawn, he came to make things-"

"Woah slow down a seizure?"

Jackson nodded. "He's epileptic, he had a drink when he was sitting outside the house waiting for me to realise he wasn't going anywhere, we argued eventually and he collapsed" Jackson rubbed his eyes.

"And he's ok?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, I think so, he just has to sleep I think to be honest, I'm making us some food then I'll walk him up to Smithy, will you tell Chas and Paddy for me in case John hasn't managed to see them?"

"John?"

"Yeah he came over and helped"

Hazel nodded. "Yeah, yeah course, now are you sure you know what you're doing?"

Jackson shrugged. "No, not really, but it feels right"

"Oh I hope so" she shook her head and headed back to the front door and left quietly.

...

A few hours had passed and Jackson had cleared away the dirty dishes. Aaron sat in the living room feeling more aware and well than he did early but he did remember his conversation with Jackson and he was happy, slow was fine, he couldn't expect more.

"You ready?"Jackson asked as he walked by to grab his coat from the hanger and Aaron's bags from the stairs.

"Hmm" Aaron mumbled and then turned to face him. "Oh, y-yeah" he nodded and stood up. He cleared his throat as Jackson handed him his jacket and he took it. "Thanks"

"Right then let's get you home" he told him as he opened the door. "And before you start I'm walking you"

Aaron chuckled. "It's fine, just as long as you're with me" he followed him out into the evening darkness and waited until he'd locked the door and then they walked side by side up the village.

The walk so far was pretty silent, they'd reached the pub and no words had been exchanged but Jackson did place his arm around him. Aaron smiled. "I love you Jackson"

Jackson's smile grew and grew. "I love you too"

...

"They're coming!" Chas almost screamed as she moved away from the window.

Paddy laughed as he walked through to the kitchen from the living room. "Calm down, he'll be okay" he told her as he checked out of the window. "And by the looks of things Jackson's been looking after him, and they may have sorted things a bit"

"Eh?" Chas screwed up her face as she waited by the door.

"Jackson has his arm around him"

"Oh thank god!"

"Will you come away from the door? Give him some space"

"Oh, err yeah I should shouldn't I?"

Paddy nodded and she retreated from the doorway and walked back into the kitchen.

Moments later both Chas and Paddy looked into the direction of the doorway as it swung open and they smiled when Aaron walked in first, they both exchanged a look _He looks okay. _

This was strange, back in his home, with his mum and dad, he could feel that it was different from the first time around, it was warmer, real love filled the air. He smiled at them both. "Hi" he spoke as Jackson followed behind and he smiled at them both as he swung around and closed the door behind them.

Chas was on him straight away hugging the life out of him, he hugged back. She pulled away smiling, but then it faded for a brief second as she slapped him across the head, not enough to hurt but enough to give warning. "No alcohol ever EVER again" she raised her voice slightly and Jackson and Paddy looked at each other with a smirk.

Aaron nodded. "Alright, alright"

"Medication" Chas told him and held out her hand in waiting.

Aaron rolled his eyes and sighed and turned to Jackson who had carried his bags for him. Jackson placed them on the floor and Aaron began to rummage through them until he found them. He stood straight again and handed both tubs over with a frown. "I'm not going to stop taking them you know"

Chas nodded. "I know that, but I'm your mother and I will give you these when needed"

Aaron curled up his lip and nodded. "Alright then, but I' am capable, I've not stopped taking them since I got them" he was confused.

"No" Paddy added. "It's not because we don't think you'll stop, your mum just wants to look after you properly, so do I"

Aaron nodded. "Okay" he smiled.

"We're better than ever Aaron, me and Paddy" Chas turned to him and smiled. "A proper family home"

Aaron's smile widened.

"It's what you need" Jackson added.

Aaron knew he did, he always wanted that. "Can I go upstairs?"

"Yeah sure" Paddy told him. "And you're more than welcome to stay Jackson, tonight...or anytime" he smiled.

Jackson nodded awkwardly. "Yeah thanks, eventually I will but erm...we've talked and we're taking it slowly..."

"Oh" Chas eyes widened. "Of course, right well...we'll leave you too it, we'll be through there if you need us" she fought the urge to grill them, ask questions and even found it difficult to pry herself away from the kitchen, but she managed.

Once alone Jackson and Aaron walked up to the bedroom. "Where do you want these?" Jackson asked holding his bags up.

Aaron looked around, nothing had really changed. "Oh, just on the bed"

Jackson walked forward and placed them down and Aaron sat beside them, then Jackson lowered himself next to Aaron. "You okay?"

Aaron nodded quietly.

"Sure?"

"It's just weird being here and them downstairs...like a proper family" he screwed up his face.

Jackson understood he knew about Aaron's history, he was given the details early in their relationship; it helped him understand Aaron a lot. "It'll be fine" he drew out his words as he leaned in and bumped into his shoulder.

Aaron chuckled.

"Just behave yourself" he told him.

Aaron then smirked. "I can't promise anything"

Jackson smiled and cupped Aaron's cheek in his palm, he leaned in searching his blue eyes. "I missed you"

Aaron smiled "I missed you too"

"You tired?"

Aaron let out a laugh and nodded. "Exhausted"

"Right well bedtime for you" Jackson stood up as did Aaron. "I'll leave you too it but I'll text you tomorrow"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah" he swallowed hard, transfixed by Jackson's eyes. "Sure"

Jackson smiled and walked away to the door.

Aaron closed his eyes and breathed in sharply. "Jackson" his tone urgent and Jackson spun around, confused and waiting.

"Kiss me, please..." tears filled Aaron's eyes. "Please just kiss me" he begged.

Jackson felt Aaron's heartache mixing with his own, he was sad they both were and he found himself stepping forward until his body was touching Aaron's, he placed his hand on Aaron's neck and slowly leaned in.

"Kiss me" Aaron whispered.

Their lips brushed together, Jackson moved his head side on slightly and deepened his kiss, and groans from both boys filled the room. Aaron flicked his tongue across Jackson's teeth begging for entry. Jackson's mouth opened and Aaron moved his tongue into Jackson's mouth and it was met by Jackson's. Aaron wrapped his arms around Jackson's neck as their tongued tasted, swiped and flicked against each others.

When they parted Jackson smiled as he bit his lip, he could taste him. Aaron's smile mirrored Jackson's. "Right then I err..." Jackson pointed to the bedroom door. "I'll go and you will text me till you fall asleep..."

Aaron simply nodded, his smile still fixed.

"Night then" Jackson spoke softly as he stepped back towards the door.

"Night" Aaron replied and watched him leave.

Once Jackson left, he undressed and climbed into bed naked and he reached for his phone, he smiled seeing a message waiting – from Jackson, he grinned when he read the content. _**We can and will do this Aaron, I do love you. You're all I want, all I've ever wanted. I forgive you xxx**_

Aaron fell asleep that night in tears, but happy ones.

* * *

TBC...


	41. Play Your Cards Right

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Play Your Cards Right"

_Right well, I'm not too happy with this one, could no concentrate properly throughout but I stuck with it anyway, hope it's not too bad :)_

* * *

Aaron sat up in bed after waking up a few minutes earlier, he felt fresh and ready to begin this new chapter of his life, with Jackson – all over again, but not only him, also with his mum and Paddy.

He heard the clattering of plates downstairs in the kitchen and the smell of bacon wafting his senses. He got out of bed, threw on some clean boxers and grabbed his dressing gown and put it on before heading downstairs.

Upon entering the kitchen he heard the radio playing quietly and Paddy was sat at the dining table reading the paper while eating his bacon sandwich, his mum was stood at the cooker watching over the sizzling bacon. She turned and smiled. "Morning love how are you feeling today?"

Aaron nodded. "Err yeah better"

"Good" she smiled. "Tablets are ready on the table for you and a glass of water"

"So I see thanks"

Paddy looked up at him with a smile. "Sit down then"

Aaron let out a breath and stepped forward whilst drilling it into his brain he didn't need to be prompted to sit down, this was his home; Paddy had even said those words on many occasions. He sat next to Paddy and looked at him with a slight smile.

Paddy frowned. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing" he smirked with a shake of his head, then reached for his tablets and placed them in his mouth and swallowed them with the help of the water.

Chas stepped over to the table and set a plate down in front of Aaron. "There ya go love"

"Cheers" he smiled and picked one up and took a bite. "Mmm"

Paddy smiled. "How was it then? Sleeping in your bed last night?"

"Amazing" Aaron replied.

"Good, oh by the way I think Cain wanted to see you today"

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

Chas smirked as she placed her bacon onto her bun. Thankfully Aaron couldn't see.

"Well I don't know maybe once you've had that you can get sorted and go and find out" Paddy grinned and ruffled his very short black hair.

Aaron tutted and pulled away. "Alright, don't be smart" he glared but a smirk on the corner of his lips took away the seriousness he intended.

Paddy laughed and returned to reading the paper.

...

An hour later Aaron wandered down the village with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his trackies.

Jackson had taken some tools to his van and walked back to the house but as he stood on the doorstep he turned and saw Aaron walking down the village. He smirked and bit his lip. Granted Aaron's fashion sense wasn't the in thing but it was a part of what made Aaron who he was. As Aaron approached Jackson wolf whistled at him, grinning as he watched his reaction.

Aaron frowned and looked around quickly then turned to Jackson. "And who was that for?!" he called to him.

"Do you see anyone else around?" Jackson asked bluntly, slightly annoyed at his lack of playing along.

Aaron curled his lips, and shook his head.

"Well then"

Aaron grinned and walked up the footpath and stood in front of Jackson. "Chipper this morning aren't ya?"

Jackson leaned closer to him. "Of course"

"And with good reason I suppose"

Jackson nodded and chuckled. "You know why, so anyway what you up to today?"

"Well I've been summoned to the garage"

"Oh yeah I erm"

Aaron frowned, what was he on about?

"I sa-" Jackson stopped after realising Aaron didn't know. "Well then y-you best go then, come round tonight for eight, I'm going to cook us a meal"

"Oh well then I'm well in there aren't I?"

"Play your cards right yeah and you might be" Jackson grinned.

Aaron nodded. "See ya in a bit" he stepped away and walked around to the garage.

...

Aaron grinned as he checked the text Jackson had sent him literally a few seconds after leaving him.

"Well well, well here he is" Cain stood with folded arms and a grin planted firmly on his face.

Aaron looked up from his phone and frowned at his uncle and shrugged his shoulders. "Wha-" his words trailed off as he saw the garage sign changed to _Dingle & Livesy Automotives _just like it had been a year ago. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he took in the sight.

"And the van too" Debbie walked to her father's side, smiling as she called to Aaron.

"What I don't understand?" Aaron asked as he walked closer to them.

"It's all sorted, got the paperwork drawn up if you still want to do this?" Debbie explained.

Aaron let out a laugh. "Yeah, yeah of course!"

Debbie nodded and hugged him. "Everyone deserves a second chance" she told him as they parted.

Aaron smiled as Cain chirped up. "Well then boss" Cain grinned. "What do you want me to do?"

Aaron frowned. "You can..." he tried to think of anything but couldn't, he hadn't been to the garage in ages he had no idea what jobs they had on. "You can carry on with whatever you were doing" Aaron nodded and Debbie let out a laugh. "Yeah, you do that" he concluded. "While me and your other boss go and have a chat" he pointed into the garage and he stepped forward and walked inside followed by Debbie.

"How did that feel?" she whispered.

Aaron grinned. "Sooo good" he chuckled.

...

As Aaron walked up the footpath Jackson opened the door already having seen him coming. "Evening" Jackson grinned.

Aaron smiled. "Looking hot as usual" he said as he walked into the house.

"Thanks you too" Jackson smirked as he followed him inside. "Cooked your favourite"

"Oh?"

"Lasagne"

"If I remember rightly you do make a mean lasagne"

Jackson grinned and nodded.

"Looking forward to it"

"Right well..." Jackson stepped forward. "Sit down, make yourself comfy" his tone softened even more as his lips met Aaron's. It was a quick yet deep and meaningful kiss. "I'll just get this dished up"

"Well in that case I better sit at the table then"

Jackson nodded and walked away into the kitchen as Aaron sat down at the dining table.

A lit candle stood in the centre on top of a red table cloth; napkins were laid on top of plain black placemats. The candle holder was black too. Aaron smirked impressed with Jackson's theme and with the added addition of low lighting and soft music it was very, very romantic then he realised they'd never actually done this before.

Jackson turned to look at Aaron. He smiled, he was gorgeous and he loved him with all of his heart. "You okay?"

Aaron turned and nodded. "Yeah, I just realised we've never done this before, it's nice but weird"

"We'll do a lot of things this time Aaron, I promise"

Aaron smiled as Jackson approached with their plates and he set them down.

"Thanks" Aaron thanked him as he sat opposite.

"You're welcome" he replied and both men began eating.

"So, the garage...I nearly let on earlier" Jackson admitted with a chuckle.

Aaron smiled. "Ahh so that's why you were a bit weird"

Jackson nodded. "I saw the signs getting redone the other day, how does it feel? Being a partner in a business?"

"Well I never thought I'd be anything other than a mechanic but it's great, me and Debbie had a long discussion earlier and we made plans, looked into some equipment we wanna buy and I think we're going to sit down tomorrow and order some"

"That's great" Jackson was genuinely happy for him. "So, what was it like with Cain?" he smirked.

Aaron laughed. "That was the best part, I found it funny to be honest, telling him what to do and him knowing he couldn't say a word back, but I don't think he would have but I know there'll be days when he's in a right mood and he'll have to stop himself"

"You'd never actually fire him though would ya?" Jackson asked.

"No" Aaron shook his head. "I just have to make him think I would"

...

A few hours later after eating and settling down to watch a DVD, Jackson straightened up as the credits filled the TV screen. Aaron lifted his head straight away, his sleepy eyes catching Jackson's eyes. "You fell asleep" Jackson smiled.

Aaron sighed and rested his forehead on Jackson's stomach. "Sorry" he grumbled.

"No, no don't worry about it, it was nice"

"Nice?" Aaron looked up.

"Yeah looking after you"

Aaron's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "You shouldn't have too" he said in a quieter voice.

"You and I both know that you need it and I will" he grinned.

"It's just epilepsy"

Jackson frowned. "You say that like it's so easy, you can still have them while on medication as you already know"

Aaron nodded. "I know and no it isn't easy but I live with it and you all will have too, mum, Paddy, you..."

"We are" Jackson replied softly and kissed his lips. "We don't want anything happening to you that's all..." Jackson smirked, a hint of embarrassment now in his tone. "...you've always been my priority"

Aaron looked at him with pure love and adoration. "I never stopped thinking about you"

Jackson looked away as he nodded. "You were always the first thing on my mind on a morning"

Jackson scoffed. "And the last thing at night..."

Aaron frowned. "Yes. Yes Jackson you were" he shifted so he was kneeling in between Jackson's legs and he placed his hands on either side of his face and kissed him again passionately. "You were" he whispered as their foreheads rested against each others, he was desperate for him to acknowledge the fact.

Jackson nodded, their lips and bodies were so close, and Aaron's warm breath sent shivers throughout his body. "You were with me"

Aaron nodded and Jackson watched as he closed his eyes and bit on his lower lip. "Would you change it all if you could?" he asked.

Aaron didn't open his eyes he simply nodded slowly. "Course I would"

Jackson nodded. "Alright then...and you...you erm...you're not running again?"

"No" Aaron opened his eyes. "No" he smiled. "If I do it'll be with you"

Jackson smiled which quickly turned to a grin. "Alright then..."

"Alright what?"

Jackson shook his head slightly. "Nothing, yo-" he chuckled. "You're just playing your cards right"

"Oh" Aaron raised an eyebrow and he pulled away slowly and smiled down at Jackson.

"Yeah oh, so keep doing it alright..."

Aaron nodded. "I want you so much"

"I know and I want you too, badly but we can't...not yet..."

"I understand" Aaron replied sadly as he lowered his head.

"You do?"

"Yeah I can't expect it to be alright after one date" he told him as he began to get off the sofa.

Jackson didn't answer, he didn't need too Aaron summed it up in one.

"I better be getting home"

Jackson got to his feet also and followed Aaron to the door.

"Thankyou for tonight, it was brilliant"

Jackson smiled. "Anytime"

Aaron nodded and stepped outside. "Aaron..."

Aaron stopped a few metres away and faced Jackson again.

"We will be together again in that way you have to know that"

Aaron smiled. "I hope so, goodnight gorgeous"

"Night babe" Jackson stood watching Aaron walk away up the village. He hated it like that but it had to be that way, both of them needed time to be sure of each other once again. And in said time they would be sure, just like their first night together that had started all of this.

* * *

TBC...


	42. The Die Is Cast

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"The Die Is Cast"

* * *

It was a miserable dark rainy day, it was almost lunch time and Aaron had just signed for the delivery of their new equipment. He was like a kid at Christmas. Cain had been interested, most of the stuff was what they wanted to buy ages ago but didn't, he wasn't too happy when Aaron sent him back to work. Aaron knew he was being a bit harsh but bossing Cain around, who wouldn't revel in doing that?

Aaron was sat at the desk doing some paperwork; it was just him and Cain, Debbie had the day off, he heard Cain being narky with a customer and he looked in his direction with a frown on his face. Aaron waited until the customer had paid and was driving away. "Look Cain" he sighed. "I know this is weird right but if you so much as speak to a customer like that again I'll have to find a nice, polite mechanic" he warned.

Cain glared at him.

"We need the business I don't want your moods driving them away"

"Didn't drive them away when you used to be in a one"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "And I'm sure I'll be in a lot more moods but I'll try not taking it out on customers" he sighed.

"Yeah alright" Cain replied with a sigh.

Aaron turned and continued with his paperwork.

...

A few hours later and with still no change to the weather Cain was doing Aaron's head in. Why did Debbie have to have the day off? Why? Was it a test to see how they got on as boss and employee, but the other way around now, it certainly felt like it.

"Aaron!" Cain shouted.

Aaron shook his head and looked up. "What!" he snapped.

"Alright, stop snapping!"

"Well you've been on my back all day!"

"Fancy man is here" Cain told him and turned back to the car he was working on as Jackson walked past him and into the garage.

"Alright?" Jackson asked with a smile.

"Yeah I would be if he shut the hell up for five minutes"

"Ohh" Jackson raised an eyebrow. "Tell you what you need..."

"Enlighten me" Aaron grinned sarcastically.

"An office"

"Yeah I'd love one but I haven't had time to think about anything yet, I just got all that in" he looked at the pile of boxes at the far corner."And there's all this paperwork, invoices etc etc" he sighed.

Jackson smirked. "Should I leave you too it?"

Aaron quickly shook his head and placed his hand over Jackson's which was laid out on the desk.

Jackson smiled. "I'll do you an office"

Aaron frowned in surprise. "Really? What about the work you've already got on?"

"I'm all clear for a while so if you want me to do it you have to decide soon"

"Yeah course I do, I'll have to run it past Debbie but she's always whinging about doing the work out here, shouldn't be a problem"

Jackson nodded. "Good"

"Oh what are you doing tonight?"

"Well hopefully I'm with you" Jackson replied with a smile.

Aaron smiled. "You are and I'm cooking"

"Eh?" Jackson frowned. "You cooking?"

Aaron nodded.

"But you don't cook in fact there's a reason you don't because you can't" Jackson smirked.

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Well I'm going to try, I get away from here at five, earlier if I can, be at Smithy for seven"

"I'll be there" Jackson told him with a nod then leaned in and caught Aaron's lips in his.

Aaron reciprocated with a passionate kiss.

"See you tonight" Jackson smiled as he walked away.

...

Carl smirked as he approached the garage, Aaron alone. Perfect.

"Well well, you crawled out the gutter...no Cain?"

Aaron shot a look at Carl, his eyes glaring a warning and an already clenched jaw showed his frustrated state at seeing that man, who unfortunately was his father. "No"

"Oh good"

"So you managed to _crawl _out of your debt then?" Aaron asked with a grin.

Carl sighed and looked away briefly. "Yeah, but no thanks to you...I had to let Charity part own"

Aaron laughed and it increased slightly. "Oh, I'm sorry that's hilarious!" he laughed again.

Carl gave a stern look and stepped closer. "Hilarious? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Aaron Livesy" he told him with a smirk.

"Don't be smart with me kid"

"Carl you don't scare me seriously do one will ya?"

"Nah, I'm not going anywhere"

"Fine stand there like a lemon I'm busy anyway but when I close...you move then"

Carl sniggered. "Look at you all high and mighty and that sign with your name on" he rested on the desk and leaned in closer to Aaron. "It's a joke; it all is...especially you"

"Should have used a condom then mate" Aaron replied half-heartedly as he continued with work.

"You could have ruined my life"

Aaron looked up with a smile. "And if I could go back and do it all again, I'd make sure I'd succeed in doing just that!"

Carl lunged across the small desk and grabbed Aaron's collar and dragged him forward, and in his rage he held Aaron's head and slammed it down onto the desk. Aaron winced but pulled out of Carl's grip and ran around the desk and pushed Carl out of the garage. "And what's that going to do eh!" Aaron screamed. "Nothing! That's what! I'm still here Carl and I'm not going anywhere this time, I hate you, I always hated you! You're just scum! A pathetic excuse for a man!"

"And what does that make you then!" Carl snarled.

"A better person than you'll ever be!" he shouted at the top of his lungs and his arms flung around with the sheer force of what he was saying.

Carl laughed.

"Get off my property and get off it now before I cave your face in!" he warned, his mouth open slightly, his teeth showed as the anger pulsated through him.

"Before you even have a chance you'll be out cold" Carl stated as he stepped closer again.

Aaron took a deep breath; he could feel he was shaking with anger, why did he have that affect on him? "Try it!"

"I wouldn't, I really don't need much persuading when it comes to hurting you" Carl told him before he turned and walked off.

Aaron watched him go, he _needed_ to calm down.

...

It had been a while since Jackson walked these paths; he strolled along with his hands in his pockets. Jackson looked around and saw Adam; he took a deep breath and quickened his pace. When he was closer he slowed down and approached him cautiously, he didn't want this to turn weird. "Adam..."

Adam turned around. "Jackson?" he was stunned but unsure of why he was there.

"I erm I wanted to come to see how you were"

"Oh you know" he walked past him and after a few metres he sat down on a bench. "Could be better" he flashed a smile then lowered his head and clasped his hands together. "I-if you've come here to have a go-"

Jackson cut him off as he joined him on the bench. "No" he told him with the shake of his head. "No I haven't, you're still my mate Adam...what happened with you and Aaron was bound to happen, I did come to see how you are and to say thankyou"

"Thankyou?" he was confused.

"For being selfless and seeing the bigger picture, I can understand how hard it was, I've never willingly had to let him go but I went through him not being here for a whole year...I guess the pain is the same"

Adam made eye contact with Jackson. "I keep putting on a brave face" he chuckled but it wasn't a pleasant sound, it was mixed with sad emotions, the raw edges of a sob creeping in.

Jackson immediately placed his arm around him and pulled him in close. "You don't have to with me mate; you're hurting..." he took a breath. "But what you have to remember is, is that he's here"

Adam nodded. "I know, I know" he told him as he cried. "It was all just perfect, everything was, _and he is_"

Jackson smiled. "I know"

"But I knew you and him are meant to be, I was second best" Adam continued.

Jackson instantly frowned. "Hey! You weren't second best to him, you hold a very special place in Aaron's heart and I know for a fact he cherishes you, the bond you have, the friendship that goes even beyond friendship that I can't find words to explain...it's so special Adam, don't ever think that"

Adam nodded as he wiped his eyes. "Sorry"

"That's better mate, so..." Jackson cleared his throat. "Aaron mentioned Friday night..."

"You are coming aren't you?" Adam expected he was, hoped he was.

"If you want me too?"

"Yeah course, everything has to go back to how it was and this is the way"

"Well then I look forward to it" Jackson grinned.

...

Aaron knew no one was around, he left the garage and closed up for the day and headed straight round. His anger from earlier was still evident, he needed to vent and what a better place to do it than Carl's office. Aaron smirked as he looked around, counted to five and like a tirade of negative energy he swarmed through the offices and trashed them all, furniture lay on its side, computers smashed on the floor, papers strewn everywhere, folders lost under their respective toppled shelves.

Once done, he was breathless, his heart pounded in his chest and beads of sweat lined his forehead, his chest rose up and down frantically as his lungs searched for air. Aaron darted for the smashed in door, leaving the same way he got in.

Jackson looked towards the door of Smithy when Aaron walked in. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" Aaron apologised. "I lost track of time and..." he sighed. "I'm sorry Jackson"

Jackson just sat quietly looking up at him. "Well I'm a bit early but not the point, I came expecting you not your mum wrapped in a towel"

Aaron closed his eyes. "She didn't" Jackson just nodded. "She would have been getting ready for work, it's her shift and Paddy's gunna sit at the end of the bar"

"Oh how romantic?"

"Yeah well" Aaron sighed. "Seems I learn from the best...I'm really sorry"

"It's alright but you can tell me who you had a run in with..." Jackson pointed to the bruise on Aaron's forehead.

"Oh that erm" he frowned. "Well I erm..."

"Aaron" he spoke in a disapproving tone and Aaron sighed.

"Alright, alright...I-it was Carl"

Jackson sighed and slammed his hands on the dining table and pushed himself up to his feet. Aaron immediately moved to block the doorway. "No, you can't I'm fine please just leave it"

"How! Aaron? Stress is not good for you"

"I can't stop getting stressed Jackson, if I have a seizure then I have one alright?"

"No! It's not alright; they're not nice to watch Aaron!"

Aaron sighed and looked down at the floor. "I try and calm myself Jackson I do but that man, he just" he spoke through gritted teeth and curled his hands into a fist.

"Right well now, calm down...please" Jackson begged. "Don't worry about tonight we can get a pizza and I'll help you relax"

Aaron slowly looked up at Jackson again with a smirk playing on his lips. "Yeah?"

"Yeah" Jackson smiled.

Thoughts of intrigue and fascination filled Aaron's mind, he knew Jackson wouldn't give anything away; time would just have to tell all.

...

Sometime later in a low lit living room and a discarded pizza box laying on the floor, the boys lay on the sofa, Jackson lay on the inside with his arms wrapped around Aaron. He smiled to himself but when Aaron changed the channel – again, he sighed and reached out to grab the remote from his hands. "We were watching that!"

Aaron frowned as he looked up at Jackson now in a more upright position after reaching for the remote. "It was crap" he was blunt with his words.

"Got to have a bit of give and take babe, I was enjoying that!"

"You're weird" Aaron's smile betrayed his words.

"And you're hot"

"Oh really?"

Jackson nodded. "Yes really" and he started to move closer to press his lips against Aaron's but the sound of the front door opening stopped him and he lifted up once more. "Guess that's my cue to leave" he chuckled.

"Ahh don't...please"

"I think he better" Carl's voice penetrated the living room and Aaron shot up.

"Get out" he warned him, now on his feet.

"Nah, I don't think so...wanna tell Jackson why I'm here or shall I?"

Aaron shrugged. "I have no idea what you're on about"

"Yes you do!" Carl shouted.

"What's going on?" Jackson asked as he looked between the two of them.

"Beats me" Aaron said with a shrug and walked over to the door close to the sofa and opened it. "Go on get out"

Carl looked at Jackson. "I went back to the office to get some paperwork and I couldn't find it" he glanced over at Aaron then back at Jackson. "The whole place is trashed"

Jackson just shook his head. "You have no proof it was him"

"Oh come on even you know it was him!"

"Yeah and I don't care, what Aaron does is up to him, his life. I made a mistake once by not backing him up, I won't do that again even if he is in the wrong...but who's to say he is? You deserved it anyway, yeah" Jackson nodded. "You did"

Aaron watched Carl step closer to Jackson and he was in between the two of them in a shot. "Touch him and I'll kill you"

"Oh here we go again...it was you weren't it?"

Aaron nodded and he began to grin. "And I loved every second of it"

Carl nodded and swung out his arm and punched him in the face sending him falling onto the sofa and rolling off the other side.

Jackson ran to Aaron and helped him up and all Aaron could do was laugh. "Can't hurt me dad, just can't do it" he said as he wiped blood from his lip.

"Don't call me that, you have just crossed a line Aaron, a very thin line...this is just the start, trust me" Carl threatened before he stormed out of the house by the door Aaron had opened for him.

The door closed with an almighty slam and silence filled the room once again. "Are you actually crazy in the head Aaron?"

Aaron shrugged. "Probably am yeah" he slumped down onto the sofa and Jackson sat down beside him.

"You don't care do ya?"

Aaron frowned. "About him? What I did? No...he deserves it all"

"It's Carl though Aaron, you can't get involved with that"

"I already am"

Jackson looked sad and he reached out and held Aaron's face. "Look at you..."

"It's just a split lip"

"It matters! Stop this now Aaron, you've got enough to cope with"

"I will but there's a part of me that feels like there's no return from this, Carl...I'll deal with it" he nodded.

"And quickly, will you be okay? I should get going"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah I'll be fine" he leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips.

Jackson got up from the sofa. "I'll text you in a bit"

Aaron smiled and watched Jackson leave then he let out a heavy sigh.

Why did his mind suddenly shift to red alert when Carl was around, why did he become so angry and why did he do things he had no control over doing at the time?Anger was a strange thing, one thing Aaron would probably never understand yet it made him feel good, at the time anyway.

Now in the harsh reality of it Aaron was left alone a lot earlier than expected, he'd ruined the night, and caused chaos.

He took out his phone and tapped it against his palm as he thought, he shook his head clearly frustrated, and he found the number and dialled.

The call connected a few seconds later. "Aaron?" the voice asked.

"I-I-I don't think I should have come home..." Aaron admitted and closed his eyes sadly, he hated those words, but it was the way he felt.

"Alright, its okay, I'll come over where are you?"

* * *

TBC...


	43. Don't Lose Who You Are

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Don't Lose Who You Are"

* * *

This chapter unlike many of the others doesn't switch scenes, I felt this needed to be done and posted as a stand alone, so I hope you enjoy :)

* * *

Thirty minutes had passed in complete silence as Aaron sat on the sofa in the living room of Smithy cottage. Within the first two minutes after the phone call, he convinced himself he had to leave once again. But he knew he couldn't put the people he loved through that again. He needed help and all he could do was wait.

The door to Smithy knocked loudly and he jumped up, he took a breath and walked to the door and opened it. He let out a sigh of relief.

Gordon smiled at him. "Came as quick as I could, you got yourself really wound up on the phone" he spoke as Aaron stepped aside and he walked into the warmth of the house.

Aaron nodded. "I have to go..."

Gordon sighed and stood in front of Aaron as he sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. "No mate...you can't do that again"

"But I'm ruining everything" Aaron spoke quietly.

"No Aaron listen to me it's Carl he just has a negative effect on you"

"You're telling me" Aaron shook his head and looked into the older man's eyes.

"C-Could you really just up and leave like that again? We talked about this every time we spoke on the phone I used to ask if you'd leave again once you got back, do you remember?"

Aaron nodded. "Course I do" he chuckled. "It did my head in enough"

Gordon smiled. "Was it really just me and Adam you kept in contact with the past year?"

Aaron nodded.

"Why us?"

Aaron shrugged. "I don't know, it wasn't a matter of trust or love because everyone I care about I do trust and love, so I" he sighed and his voice quietened. "I don't know...maybe..." he sighed. "Because you and Adam who are the two who have been less affected by me, my actions..."

Gordon nodded but didn't speak, Aaron could have a point there, everyone else close to him he'd affected due to his actions.

"I turned into him" Aaron spat angrily as he looked away.

Gordon frowned. "Who?"

"The man I saw in the woods"

"I-I don't understand"

"I don't make a habit of telling anyone this but I saw myself in the woods, an older me...he said some things, about losing people and I did...and I'm now him but he was older...seems I'm an expert fuck up"

"Hey! Stop this Aaron"

"How?" Aaron let out a sob and his breath caught on the lump in his throat and his body shuddered with the emotion. "Me and Jackson are getting there we are, and what I did today was wrong but Carl needs to realise that he's not going to get away with anything wrong he does towards me or anyone else close to me for that matter, I'm not going to let him" he shook his head adamantly. "I won't"

"Something, someone Aaron has to give and that's you it has to be you are the better person and if you don't I'm scared you will be hurt and no one wants that"

"I don't want it either but I can take it"

"Stop being stubborn Aaron" Gordon chuckled. "Okay" he sat down beside him. "Let's change the way this conversation's going...why do you think you're reacting so badly to even seeing Carl? I have a good idea but I want your answer"

"What do you think?" Aaron asked

Gordon shook his head. "I want to hear it from you"

Aaron sighed heavily and dropped his head in his hands. "I don't know!"

"Alright...I'll tell you what I think...I think you want Carl to acknowledge that you're his son and for him to claim you as his"

Aaron tutted and his face shifted to a deep scowl. "Don't be daft! Are you actually being serious?"

"You're reaching out to him in a way that only registers with him when it comes to you...violence, you've always hated him it's the only thing you two have in common, I'm not saying this to make you mad Aaron but that's what I think, and deep down you know it too"

"I've never even thought about it like that" he glared at Gordon.

"No maybe not but subconsciously..."

Aaron sighed and shook his head and stood up and paced the living room, Gordon just watched for a minute or so before Aaron settled and leaned against the stone wall fireplace. His head was arched back against the stone his eyes looked up to the ceiling.

"No one so young should have experienced the confusion, pain and abandonment that you have Aaron" Gordon began quietly.

Aaron dug his fists deeper into his pockets and looked back at Gordon. "But it happens Gordon" he shrugged. "Nothing can change it and I won't be the last kid to have experienced the feelings I have in my life"

Gordon nodded. "If you didn't know Carl, but just saw him what would you think about him?"

Aaron rolled his eyes.

"Just give it some thought, ignore all the negativity"

Aaron swallowed hard. "I'd probably think he seems an alright guy, decent looking, friendly, everyone knows him"

Gordon nodded. "If you do want Carl to accept you as his then you have to strip away the bad feeling and see him for what you think he could be because there's nothing saying he can't be that person"

Aaron scoffed. "He can't be that person"

Gordon shrugged. "You don't know that Aaron, by all accounts you've barely been able to say even a sentence to him never mind a full conversation"

"So! What! You saying I should give him the benefit of the doubt? Fathers don't punch their kids!"

"And their kids don't trash their place of work"

Aaron stopped short and glared at him. "I called for your help!" he shook his head in disbelief.

Gordon smirked. "And that's what I'm doing believe it or not Aaron" he sighed. "You rang for help I'm helping you to see things in a different light because if things don't change now then you'll get hurt maybe both of you and if that happens, everyone who cares, including me! Will be hurt in the process, we love you Aaron you're not the man you described not yet, you have a chance now to put it all right, you and Jackson are getting there, everyone accepts your back, do you remember how scared you were that they wouldn't accept it?"

Aaron nodded.

"Well then please calm down because it isn't good for your health! I'm not saying you and Carl have to be best buddies, but I' am saying you need to apologise and pay for the damage you caused and to not let him rile you up like this"

Aaron turned and stood with his arms out straight resting against the mantel piece looking in the mirror above the fire. Tears fell from his eyes. "Why am I doing this to myself?" he asked sadly with a shake of the head.

Gordon got to his feet and walked to him but stopped leaving a metre or so between them giving him space. He shrugged. "It's alright not to be okay Aaron but don't lose who you are. Since we got back in touch I came to realise how amazing a person you are and I was a fool to abandon you all those years ago. Don't let Carl King ruin you, sort things out, it will be hard you know that but try and find some common ground and by that I mean common ground that doesn't involve violence or hatred"

Aaron lowered his head and cried. "Why can't you have been my dad, like I always thought you were?"

Gordon took a breath as tears filled his eyes; he stepped forward and took Aaron into his arms. "I wish I was mate..." he soothed him by rubbing his back gently. "I wish I was, but I don't see you as anything else other than my son and I always will alright..."

Aaron nodded and pulled away slowly. His tear soaked blue eyes looking back at Gordon. His lips trembled as he spoke. "I'm sorry"

Gordon shook his head slightly as he placed his hand on his shoulder. "Just think about what I said"

"I will, I uh..." Aaron swallowed hard. "I will" he confirmed. "Thankyou"

Gordon smiled as he wiped his eyes quickly. "You're welcome, that's all you ever have to do, call or come by the house you know that"

"Yeah I do"

Gordon nodded with a smile. "It's not too late Aaron" he motioned to the clock, it wasn't even eleven. "Go and see Jackson" he told him with a smile. "And in the morning deal with Carl"

Aaron nodded. "I will"

A few minutes later after Aaron had put on his shoes and jacket he and Gordon stepped out into the bitter cold night. Aaron stepped away and began walking to down the stepping stones.

Gordon watched him. "Aaron!" he called out and Aaron stopped and turned. "You'll be alright you know" he told him with a smile.

Aaron smiled and nodded before both men went their separate ways.

* * *

TBC...


	44. It Is What It Is

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"It Is What It Is"

* * *

A part of him wanted to turn back and ignore the fact Carl King even existed but he couldn't. He stayed where he was and pulled the handle down on the door to the office and stepped in to see Carl standing in the centre of the damage he'd caused the previous day.

"And what the hell are you doing here?" Carl asked angrily.

"I erm" Aaron frowned as he turned and closed the door behind him. He stepped forward and reached into his pocket and pulled out a cheque. "I came to give you this for the damage" he held it out for him to take.

Carl watched him, confused and unsure; one thing he did know was that he wasn't expecting this. "Oh you are taking the piss!"

Aaron sighed and shook his head. "I'm not, take it"

Carl took the cheque and nodded to Aaron. "Thanks but it doesn't change what you did"

"Yeah I know. I made a mistake but I just wanted to get back at you"

Carl nodded.

"I'm sorry for trashing this place"

Carl didn't reply and it began to frustrate Aaron. "See! Why can't you just talk to me properly that's what I came here to do! Talk to me!" he demanded, his anger once again clearly evident.

Carl shrugged. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Aaron spat. "I thought if I approached you calmly and apologised and paid for the damage, you'd see that I am sorry, genuinely I' am but yet again, you just...you ju- grr!" he growled and kicked the desk lying beside him.

Carl frowned as he watched him. "We have never gotten on Aaron ever, since the first day we met..."

Aaron nodded. "I know but do you not think because of who we are to each other now maybe we should try"

"And why should we do that?"

"B-Because you can be a good person" Aaron sighed and he worked himself up to saying what he was going to, but hated the fact he was admitting it. "I've seen it" he swallowed.

Carl began to laugh.

"Don't laugh at me"

"No...no..." Carl's laugh trailed off and he stopped and he perched himself on the end of Edna's desk that had not long been standing in its upright position. "You're right I can be, but not to some people"

Aaron scoffed. "Yeah I know and I can be exactly the same b-but maybe... Maybe if you think about what kind of person I am behind closed doors instead of the idea you have of me now...like I'm trying to do then maybe you'll see that we could both get on...I'm done hating you Carl, you should do the same"

When no reply came Aaron sighed and shrugged of his shoulders as Carl looked away, could that be regret? That he couldn't physically look at him. "Anyway I'm sorry" Aaron turned and began to walk away.

"Aaron!" Carl called out and Aaron stopped and turned back to face him. "Me and you, it would never work"

Aaron chewed on his lip. "Look, right...I know you hate me for what I did, but you have to understand I was only protecting my mum, I've never known anyone so calculating as you, for what you were going to do and it made me hate you more"

"And now?"

"Like I said, I'm done hating you, I...well we can't carry on the way we are because in the end we'll just get hurt and I'm not going to put Jackson, my mum or Paddy through anymore hurt"

"You know what Aaron...I wish I was never told about you"

Aaron nodded. "I wish the same thing every day about you but it is what it is and while we don't like it" Aaron pouted. "You're my dad and I'm your son"

Carl lowered his head and his lack of replies was frustrating Aaron once more but he kept a lid on it. "I'm not expecting anything Carl I just want this to stop, I will on my end but whatever you wanna do you do it but I won't rise to anything...I'm your son and you're so horrible, the first time you saw me in a year and you ask if I finally crawled out the gutter"

"And why the sudden back down? Aaron Livesy doesn't back down" Carl told him.

"Yeah" he nodded. "That might have been true once but now I've got people who I've grown closer to, love even and I never thought that would happen...I'm not going to push them away or hurt them with this feud we have going on and I can't afford the stress"

"Stress" Carl stated with a laugh."You don't know what stress is!"

"I do and you're my stress! I'm not well alright and I don't need it, so no more anger, nothing, if we pass in the street we can ignore each other or say hi, it's up to you"

"Not well?" Carl looked across at him with a frown.

Aaron nodded. "Yes"

"How come?"

"You don't need to know"

Carl didn't reply and he stood up. "Alright, no hard feelings" he told him as he carried on tidying up.

Aaron now began to relax. "You want a hand?"

"Father and son time? Nah I don't think so..." his words were harsh but his tone was soft. "Maybe in another life eh?"

Aaron sighed and nodded. He didn't say another word, just simply left.

...

It was almost lunchtime and Aaron left Carl feeling a little better, but it was just the beginning. He wandered into the pub where he saw Jackson sitting having a pint at the bar talking to his mum. He walked up and stopped next to Jackson. "Pint please" he stated which caused glares from Chas and Jackson to be thrown in his direction. He chuckled. "Of coke"

"Ohh for a minute there" Chas relaxed. "You wind me up something rotten you do kid!"

"Suppose it's my job"

Jackson chuckled and Aaron met his gaze. "I'm sorry about last night"

"Don't worry about it" Jackson smiled. "How's the lip?"

"Swollen"

Chas frowned as she overheard the conversation and she walked over and placed Aaron's drink down. "And that's why you left the house early this morning..." she shook her head. "Who did it?"

"Carl, but don't go mad, we've talked and it's fine"

"I'm not convinced..."

"Well tough alright...we're backing off from each other, well I' am anyway" he picked up his drink and took a sip.

Jackson stayed quiet, he was quite proud of Aaron. "I'll just be over at the table" he told him before walking off.

Chas leaned over the bar. "How is it with you and Jackson you two erm...you know?"

"Mum!" Aaron glared at her. "No, no we haven't, not yet and it's fine"

"And you can live without sex can you? No other man could" she said in a surprised tone.

Aaron swallowed hard and replied. "God, you just get worse you don't ya?" Aaron shook his head in disbelief. "No, I can't live without it that's why I have a hand" he grinned and before Chas could reply Aaron started walking away.

Diane had been listening by the till, it was hard not to. She walked up behind Chas with a smirk on her face and placed her hand on her shoulder. "You deserved that one love" she chuckled and walked into the back.

Chas sighed and rolled her eyes. Chas had only ever cared about her only child; she had only shown an interest albeit the question being a little too personal, but she always did that. Chas sighed. Always put her foot in it.

...

Aaron leaned into Jackson at the table they were sat at. "And what are your plans tonight?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well I was going to ask if you wanted to stay over, we could watch crap telly, talk" Jackson grinned.

"Stay over..." Aaron stated and Jackson nodded. "If you're ready to come back that is, it was different the other day; you'd just had a seizure you weren't all there..."

"No, no...It'll be okay" he nodded with a smile.

"Great, come over whenever then, I'm going out this afternoon to organise some stuff for this office of yours but I'll be back early"

Aaron smiled and was met by Jackson's lips. "Oh what was that for?" it caught him by surprise.

Jackson smiled and he looked into Aaron's blue eyes. "Because I love you and you never fail to turn me on"

"But I'm not doing anything"

"Exactly" Jackson grinned and then he let out a sigh. "You know what...tonight...Aaron, me and you"

"Y-Y-You sure?"

"Yeah, I' am, I've wanted you for so long and I realised making us both wait was stupid, I know you won't go again and I trust you. I'm ready"

Aaron smiled and kissed him passionately. "So am I"

* * *

TBC...


	45. Whole Once Again

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Whole Once Again"

* * *

_**-Sexual Content-**_

* * *

_I've been back a few weeks now, maybe more I'm not entirely sure everything has just been a whirlwind. I found forgiveness with the man I love, my parents and by parents I think we all know who I mean. I didn't need to find forgiveness with Carl I needed to end the anger and I'm trying. Today was so crazy and when I went to his office I've never swallowed so much pride in my life but I did it and I feel better and by the end of my conversation with him I saw a glimmer of regret, and the words maybe in another life struck me hard. Gordon was right I do want him to acknowledge me as his and by that I don't just mean when he asked me about father and son time, I want to hear him say the words, you are my son. I sit and chuckle to myself because I know for a fact that's probably never going to happen. _

_I look around this room, it's so familiar I've slept in this bed so many times and some great sex was had here between me and Jackson and I hope that can continue, tonight is the night...I'm so nervous. Jackson is just getting some drinks to bring up to bed and I'm meant to be getting undressed, this has been planned and I was ready before Jackson told me in the pub at lunch time, I was ready the moment I came home._

_I could say it's like our first time all over again but I'd be wrong our first night was drunken rough passionate sex, I'm sure tonight it will be passionate but it won't just be sex it will be me and Jackson as one...in love cause we are, always will be. _

_I'm lucky really a lot of people in the world don't have one single person in their life, I have a lot. Even with my family I'm even luckier to find Jackson because a lot of people are still searching for their lover, and I can't imagine how sad that could be sometimes, maybe if they stop searching he or she will come along – I wasn't looking and look what happened – only my life went down an extreme path I doubt everyone will engage in an affair._

_I smirk and shrug as I fiddle with the bottom of my t-shirt and I hear Jackson moving around downstairs. I should be naked in that bed, come on get your head together! I've wanted this for ages if he comes back and I'm still clothed he'll think I've changed my mind, I told him I was ready just like he was and I' am. _

Aaron smiled to himself and lifted his t-shirt up above his head and removed it, his body had changed a bit, a lot more toned and firmer. He reached down to his ankles and pulled his jeans off then his boxers. He smirked and pulled back the cover on the bed and climbed in.

Jackson grinned as soon as he re entered the bedroom. "There was one time when I never thought I'd see you in our bed again" Jackson said with a smile.

Aaron looked up at him. "Me either" his tone was whispery. "Come to bed"

Jackson placed down the drinks on the bedside table and undressed. Aaron's eyes didn't move from Jackson's body, the only thing that did move was his cock, thickening and hardening as it grew and grew from the sight he was seeing. Aaron let out a content sigh as he rested his head back on the headboard; his chest and stomach were in complete view for Jackson to see as the duvet rested at his waist.

Jackson walked up to the bed and pulled back the duvet, brown eyes remained fixed on blue ones as Aaron shuffled along and let Jackson in. He could feel the warmth of his body immediately it was pure bliss. "Are you sure you're okay?" Jackson asked while stroking Aaron's face gently.

Aaron smiled and nodded. "Just a bit nervous that's all"

Jackson leaned in close and kissed him. "Don't be" he whispered against his lips but this rid Aaron of his nerves and he slid down the bed until his head was lying on the pillow.

Jackson followed him but lay on his side beside Aaron and he leaned down and began to suck, nibble and bite gently on Aaron's neck while his hands roamed his naked body. Both of them groaned as Jackson took Aaron's cock in his hand and began to pump it up and down in long slow movements.

Jackson pulled away and looked into his eyes. Aaron smiled. "I love you"

"I love you too Aaron" they had both whispered their words and Aaron kissed him back, their tongues danced slowly together, there was no need to rush and it was clear Jackson didn't want too. This was their night.

Jackson moved to his neck and kissed softly as he ventured down his body; he kissed along Aaron's defined collar bone then down along his chest until he found a nipple and his tongue circled it and flicked quickly. Jackson could feel Aaron shudder and he smiled to himself and carried on, this time to the other one biting it slightly. Aaron winced but a groan followed.

Jackson kicked the duvet away and moved slowly down Aaron's body kissing and licking down the centre of it and when he got to Aaron's waist he kissed along his hips, it always got Aaron worked up and it certainly still did, Aaron arched his back and he reached down and placed his hands on Jackson's head, his fingers entwined with his dark curls. He moaned loudly as Jackson licked along the shaft of his cock up and down slowly.

Aaron's mouth opened slightly and he groaned and goose bumps covered his entire body as Jackson's hot mouth surrounded his length.

Jackson groaned too. "God you taste so good"

"Mmm" Aaron replied and Jackson began to suck slowly until he took his cock into his mouth, his nose pushed into the dark curl of hairs and he gagged and lifted up slowly. He looked up at Aaron and smirked. "So big" he said breathlessly.

"And it's yours, I'm yours"

Jackson bit his lip and moved back up the bed and lay on top of Aaron and kissed him. "I want to ride you" he whispered.

"Do what you want to me Jackson" Aaron whispered back.

"N-Not yet..." a playful grin spread across his lips and before Aaron could reply Jackson faced the end of the bed and began sucking him again.

Aaron smiled, Jackson's balls were dangling above him he shifted slightly and licked them slowly and then took one into his mouth and sucked hard, and Jackson groaned and he carried on, this time with the other and with his hand he began to wank Jackson. Aaron shifted again and he lifted his head slightly and took Jackson's cock in his mouth, he too tasted good.

A few minutes passed and Aaron stopped sucking him and he moved up a little and wrapped his arms around Jackson's lower back and pushed him down and he buried his face in between Jackson's firm arse cheeks and licked his waiting hole.

Jackson grunted and began pushing back onto Aaron's tongue. It had been too long, and now it was happening, the feelings with it were overwhelming; he'd forgotten what sex with Aaron could be like.

Breathlessly Jackson lifted up and turned back to face him. Aaron's eyes had a sparkle to them and his smile was amazing. "Now I'll do what I want to you" he told him and leaned over him, his hand held onto the headboard and he kissed him. "All you have to do is lie there" he whispered. "And I mean just lie there"

Aaron smirked and nodded quickly. Message understood.

Jackson sat up again and took Aaron's cock in his hand and he pressed the thick head against his hole while watching Aaron the whole time. Jackson pressed down and Aaron's cock was forced in the tight waiting hole. Jackson gasped the pain was at the same time full of pleasure. Aaron moaned too and Jackson began to push further until he was inside completely then he began to glide back and forth along Aaron's groin. Aaron's hand rested against Jackson's stomach he could feel himself, in and out. God he loved it! But there was no way he was just going to lie there he needed to show Jackson just how much he wanted him, so quickly he grabbed him and spun him round. Aaron shifted so that he was now above him. "I can't just lie there" a wicked grin was plastered across his lips.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to" Jackson chuckled. "Fuck me Aaron" his voice quietened as Aaron pushed his cock into Jackson's hole again.

Jackson's legs were wrapped around him and Aaron's arms were either side of him as he lay over him, he reached down and they began to kiss as Aaron began to thrust deep and hard, moans of pleasure followed. Aaron's balls slapped against his arse and he pounded deep and kept going until the feeling came. "I'm gunna..." his expression strained and Jackson nodded. "Cum in me babe"

That was all that was needed and with one final slam into Jackson thick bursts of cum one by one shot from Aaron's cock into Jackson's hole. He grunted, he was left breathless and his hot, sweaty body fell on top of Jackson and he hugged him tightly. "I love you" he whispered.

"I love you too" Jackson replied as hugged him and he could feel Aaron's heart pounding in his chest. "You're amazing"

Aaron shook his head and looked into his eyes. "You are...now it's your turn...I wanna feel you inside me Jackson, I've missed it, and I've missed you" his tone was desperate a hunger needed satisfying and Jackson Walsh was the only person who could ever do that.

Jackson nodded and Aaron moved off him and watched as Jackson positioned himself between his legs and there it was the sharp pleasure pain, his head arched back and he groaned as every inch of Jackson slid inside him. This night would never be forgotten. They were together again, like they were meant to be. Just like they were told and knew all along – It always was and always would be just Aaron and Jackson.

* * *

TBC...


	46. He Is Mine

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"He _Is_ Mine"

* * *

Aaron coughed heavily as he walked through the thick smoke that was lingering in the kitchen of Dale head, he'd opened the window but it was taking it's time leaving the house. He sighed and carried two plates with bacon sandwiches back up to the bedroom.

As soon as he entered the bedroom Jackson just stared at him. Aaron frowned and got back into bed and handed a plate to Jackson.

Jackson didn't say a word; he simply lifted up a slice of the bread to see, black, singed burnt bacon. "What's this?"

"Bacon" Aaron stated.

"I love the gesture but this is not bacon"

Aaron huffed and frowned at him. "Yes it is...okay so it's well done..."

"No this is black and would probably snap if I touched it" Jackson said with a raised eyebrow.

Aaron sighed and shook his head. "It's a new delicacy...just eat it" Aaron then turned his attention to his sandwich and picked it up.

Jackson looked at his and grimaced. "Surprised the smoke alarm didn't go off" he told him and Aaron instantly chuckled.

Jackson eyed him. "What?"

"I err, I took the battery out"

"Aaron!" he sighed and shook his head. "I could smell it anyway, the smoke alarm wouldn't have told me what I didn't already know"

Aaron bit down into his sandwich and scrunched his face.

"We could just have sex..." Jackson sighed and smirked. "I mean I bet you're so much tastier than that! In fact I know you are...that is angin'...I don't even need to taste it" he grimaced once more as he nodded in the direction of his plate.

Aaron nodded and set aside his plate onto the bedside table. He grabbed his drink to clear his mouth of the disgusting burnt taste. "Alright, yeah let's have sex..." he turned and grinned at Jackson. He leaned over him and picked up his plate and moved it out of the way, and then he lifted the quilt up and lowered himself under it and began to suck Jackson.

A while later Jackson lay with his head on Aaron's chest and Aaron ran his fingers through Jackson's hair, both lads were relaxed and tired out once more. "Jackson..."

"Yeah" Jackson replied quietly.

"I-I was wondering if it was okay with you if I went to see Adam before tonight?"

Jackson lifted himself up and looked at him and instantly saw the worried look on his boyfriends face. "Don't be silly babe course you can" he smiled. "And anyway me and Adam talked the other day and we're fine and it's only right if you talk to him before tonight, it would be weird if the first time you saw him since was as we were leaving for town"

Aaron nodded. "That's why I asked"

"You don't have too, I don't have any bad feeling about what happened with you two, you're mates and I trust you both"

Aaron smiled and held him tighter. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

Jackson smiled and looked thoughtful. "You were just you" he told him and rested his head back down onto Aaron's chest.

...

"Ohh so where were you last night?" Chas asked as she heard Aaron sneaking down stairs after getting a shower and getting changed into fresh clothes.

He wanted to leave without being bombarded by his mother. He slapped his hand on the doorframe and stood there looking at her. He sighed. "Alright, we had sex happy?"

"Should I be?" she asked with her back to him and a smirk played across her lips.

Aaron shrugged. "Well I dunno you just seem to have a weird obsession over your son having sex with his boyfriend"

Chas tutted. "It's not like that" she turned to him. "I just like to show an interest"

Aaron chuckled. "Well I've told you now but there really are some boundaries you can't cross...in future"

Chas smirked. "Alright, alright but things are good yeah?"

Aaron nodded. "Better than good, right I'm off, need to see Adam before tonight"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah me him and Jackson are off to Bar West"

Chas raised an eyebrow.

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Don't" he warned. "We're all sorted alright"

"I trust you, have a good day"

Aaron smirked and frowned, his mother confused him more often than enough. "Yeah...you too" he told her and stepped away and left the house.

...

Aaron suddenly found himself feeling nervous, he could see Adam as he walked by the car park to the farm. He hadn't seen him in days and he hadn't been around the village much, he understood that Adam needed time. When he left that day he knew Adam was upset and was trying to hide it but he knew him too well. Now as he got closer he hoped this went okay. "Adam..."

Adam turned and smiled. "Aaron"

Aaron smiled. "Just thought I'd see if we were still on for tonight?"

Adam quickly nodded. "Yeah course mate"

Aaron nodded and nervously put his hands into his pockets. Adam saw this and knew immediately Aaron was as nervous as he was. "How you doing?" he asked.

"Err yeah, I'm not bad, me and Jackson are good" Aaron smiled. "What about you?"

"I'm not gunna lie mate it was hard but I'm getting there"

Aaron nodded and hauled himself up onto the fence and looked down at his mate. "I'm sorry for what happened"

"No, Aaron you don't have to be sorry for anything, I still love you and well to be honest, you couldn't do any wrong in my eyes, and you didn't, I knew what I was getting into, I just realised who you were meant to be with and I was right"

Aaron lowered his head and nodded.

Adam smiled and his tone seemed brighter. "And anyway tonight you have to help me pull because I'm not gunna find anyone when I'm working here twenty four seven am I?" he chuckled.

Aaron snorted. "Nope" he smiled at his mate.

"Well then wing man duties for you" Adam grinned.

"No problem mate, I want to see you happy with someone I really do...I-if things had been different then well...I don't need to tell you how it would have been"

Adam shook his head. "No, no you don't" he smiled.

"If you'd have known mate at the time would you have kissed me back in the car?"

A few seconds of silence passed between them before Aaron watched him nod. "Yeah" he smiled. "I would have but there's no point thinking like that"

"Sorry" Aaron apologized.

"Will you stop apologizing?" Adam chuckled.

Aaron grinned. "Alright"

...

"AARON LIVESY! GOD YOU TAKE FOREVER!" Jackson shouted up the stairs.

Adam chuckled as he sipped on his can of lager. "He's always been the same mate...ey...listen...do you think he's alright with not drinking?"

Jackson bit his lip as he thought. "He hates it mate but he knows he can't do anything about it"

Adam nodded. "Must be horrible, I'll feel bad sitting there getting pissed while he's sober"

"No, seriously we had words before and he isn't bothered" Jackson told him.

"Oh, well that's alright then"

Jackson smiled. "AARON!" he yelled at the top of his voice again.

Seconds later a loud sigh could be heard from Aaron then instantly him stomping down the stairs.

Jackson stood with folded arms as he waited for him to round the corner of the stairs, he appeared seconds later. "You took that long and all your wearing is jeans and a jumper"

"My best jumper" Aaron corrected and Adam sniggered behind Jackson.

"And all you've done with your hair well all you can do is swipe gel through it"

Aaron raised his eyebrow. "You're just narky because you need to put your eye liner on"

Jackson's mouth fell open in shock.

"Oh yes you do babe, I've seen the pencil in your drawer"

Jackson placed his fist to his mouth and shook his head with his eyes closed.

"HA! See I'm right...go on then get pencilling yourself..." Aaron sighed and walked past him to the sofa.

"I'll pencil you later for that!" he glared at him.

"Fine by me" Aaron winked.

Adam laughed. "You two are mental"

"Oh and Jackson...why do you have anal beads in your drawer..."

Oh this was not funny. "Hey! Don't be getting all cocky cause Adam's here!"

"Answer the question!" Aaron grinned, he was loving this.

"Because I was going to use them to pleasure you but oh no! Not now! Instead I'll use them on you and rip them out of your arse so hard you won't walk for a week!" he stomped up the stairs and both boys began to laugh as he left.

...

Bar West was heaving, music was loud, it was hot and conversation mixed loudly with the music. Somehow, luckily the three of them managed to find a table at the quieter end near the pool table. Jackson sat glaring at Aaron. Aaron looked at him and laughed. "You're mean to me" Jackson told him.

Aaron laughed again. "Well you shouldn't diss my look then should you? And this..." he took hold of his jumper and admired it by stroking it slightly. "Is just the best, you Mr. Walsh are the mean one and as for anal beads, you won't get them anywhere near my arse, I'll kick you out of bed if I have too!"

"Aww mate, don't be mean!" Adam told him with a laugh.

"Tell him then" Aaron smirked.

Jackson knew this was all just playful banter and he loved it. He'd missed it. He glared at Aaron, giving him a daring look. "You'd never kick me out of bed"

"Oh would I not? Well let's see shall we? You talk in your sleep; you move ALL the time...you snore"

"And you fart!" Jackson shot back.

Aaron then glared at him. "No I do not!"

"Yes you do!"

"Well that's not my fault is it! More reasons for me to kick you out of bed!" he grinned and proudly raised his glass of coke and took a drink.

"So anyway Aaron thanks for driving us tonight but you sure you should have?" Adam asked.

Aaron sighed, he knew this would come. "Yes I'm sure I rang the doctor he said it was okay to, my license just has to be renewed every three years...I said to Jackson that I usually don't tend to drive but we weren't paying a bus fare to get here and a taxi fare later to get home when I'm sober and I feel alright"

Jackson pouted. "Well if the doctor was alright, and we got here fine...so"

Adam looked at Jackson and nodded in agreement.

"Right now that's settled...you have an admirer Adam..." Aaron told him.

"Ha! Yeah right who?" Adam asked in disbelief.

"Hey don't knock it; you're good looking mate..." Jackson told him.

Adam smiled. "It's scary" his smile faded as he admitted his feelings.

"N-No...Adam it's alright trust me...go and talk to him" Aaron encouraged him.

"Well I need to know who it is first!" Adam laughed and he followed the direction Aaron then turned to look.

"Ohh..." Adam's breath seemed to vanish. He swallowed hard and Aaron and Jackson just grinned at him.

"Go on" Jackson encouraged him.

"I'm just doing my job mate, like you asked" Aaron told him. "If he's not right then we'll be right here, just make your excuses and come back"

Adam let out a shaky breath as he stood up. "Alright...see you in a bit, wish me luck"

"Good luck" Aaron and Jackson told him in unison.

...

Well into the night, Jackson was sat next to Aaron with his head on his shoulder, he was smashed. "I love you ya know" he slurred.

Aaron smiled and held his hand. "I know you do"

"You're the best and I won't really rip anal beads out your arse"

Aaron chuckled and frowned. The things he came up with when he was drunk, random. "I know you won't..." Aaron turned and kissed his head. "But you can use them"

Jackson lifted up with a bright smile and looked at Aaron. "Really?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah" he laughed. "But gently"

"Very gently" Jackson replied in a quiet seductive tone and pressed his lips against Aaron's and they began to passionately kiss.

"BOYS!" A drunken Adam had returned and he sat down next to Aaron, bumping into him slightly. Aaron sighed and repositioned himself. "Meet Flynn"

Jackson looked up and grinned. "Oh hello"

Flynn smiled nervously. "Alright?"

Aaron smiled and nodded as he held out his hand. "I'm Aaron, this is Jackson"

Flynn shook Aaron's hand. "Uh yeah Adam told me all about you both"

"Good stuff I hope?" Jackson asked. "Sit down mate we don't bite"

Flynn smirked and sat close to Adam.

"Of course" Adam told them both.

"Well...that's alright then" Jackson nodded.

"So you like our Adam then?" Aaron asked.

Flynn shyly smiled and exchanged a look with Adam and then looked back to Aaron and nodded. "A lot" he told him.

"Good"

A little while later Flynn left them to go to the toilet and Adam sighed. "Ohh he's hot..."

Aaron pouted and nodded. "Yeah suppose he is, what did you two talk about?"

"Almost everything, I think we're gunna meet up again"

"Ahh that's great Adam" Jackson told him.

"You've had more than me mate" Adam chuckled.

Jackson shrugged. "Nights like these don't happen often"

Aaron rubbed Jackson's leg. "No, course they don't your allowed gorgeous" he smiled.

"Ugh...but before when Flynn got us some drinks this lad came over, he was quite dark...said he was a rugby player..." Adam laughed. "As if that was meant to impress me! I'm a simple farmer, I don't do rugby...anyway...he thought he was all that!"

Aaron smirked as he watched Adam's disgusted expressions.

"He said his name was Ed as if I knew who he was..." he shook his head in disbelief.

"And?"

"And I told him I didn't care and turned away"

Aaron and Jackson both laughed. "Ahh mate your brutal"

...

Aaron had just gotten Jackson into the car and stood waiting for Adam. He sighed. "Adam! Put your new boyfriend down!"

Adam rolled his eyes and Flynn smiled at him. "Your carriage awaits"

"Don't remind me! I had a good night" Adam nodded.

"Yeah me too, you got my number right?"

Adam's smile was wide. "Course I have, I'll call you"

Flynn nodded. "You better had" he chuckled.

"Right then..." he stepped away. "Goodnight..."

"Night" Flynn smiled and watched him quickly walk to Aaron.

Adam glared at him as he swayed slightly as he walked. "Why did you say that? He'll think I'm assuming we are boyfriends" he rolled his eyes and slumped into the backseat of the car.

Aaron leaned in and made sure his seat-belt was fastened. "Because you will be together, I can feel it...oh and like I warned Jackson if you spew in this car, I'll have your head and clean the mess up with it, got me?"

"Uh...yeah, got it"

Aaron chuckled. "Good" he moved back out the car and shut the door.

"He really is mean isn't he?" Jackson grumbled from the front.

"Oh yeah" Adam replied as Aaron got into the driver's seat, within seconds he'd put on his seat-belt, started the engine and was driving away.

...

The drive back was rather loud, two drunken men chatting and laughing about anything that entered their heads, but despite the noise, he found it amusing and he was smiling as he concentrated on the roads.

When they were almost back in the village both lads were still wide awake chatting to each other, neither of them had thought that was going to happen would. Aaron didn't even think it would it had been a while. But out of the blue he felt his breath being forced from him and his head fell back against the head rest.

"Jackson..." Adam's tone was deep and grave. Jackson turned to him, and frowned. He saw Adam swallowed hard. "Aaron..." Jackson turned back to Aaron and now suddenly in a more sober state at the sight they were watching. "Shit!" Jackson exclaimed.

"J-Jackson! Get the wheel for god sake!" Adam yelled.

"I-I can't..." Jackson struggled as Aaron's body began to jerk involuntarily. The car was swerving along the road. Aaron's movements were knocking the steering wheel. "Oh god Aaron..." Jackson whispered. "Don't babe please just wake up..." he couldn't stop the tears. "Tighten your seat-beat"

Adam did as was told and then saw the headlights up ahead. "Jackson!"

Jackson saw the lights and quickly, pulled the steering wheel down and pulled up the handbrake, he had no choice; he couldn't get access to the brake pedal.

The car swung past the car ahead and came to an abrupt halt and Aaron hit his head off the window and both Jackson and Adam were bolted forward but without any injury being caused.

Jackson was shaking and he unbuckled his seat-belt and opened the car door and unsteadily ran around to the driver's side and flung open the door. He hadn't noticed that the other car had stopped several metres behind them.

Carl frowned as he stepped forward, the back lights on the car lit up the registration plate and it was vaguely familiar, he quickened his pace and he made out the figure on the dark road. "Jackson?!" Carl shouted.

Jackson turned his head to the voice. "Uh, y-yeah...it's me...I-I'm sorry...Aaron was driving he started having a seizure..." Jackson panicked as Adam got out the car.

"That's Carl..." Adam muttered to himself.

"I had to pull up the handbrake, I couldn't get to the..." his breath was short and he stopped and he cried. "God...I'm so sorry..."

"It it's alright..." Carl reassured him and he walked closer and saw Aaron lying unconscious, fitting in the driver's seat. A pang of sadness hit him, he frowned and swallowed hard. "Bloody hell, he's bleeding too..."

"I think he hit his head when I pulled the handbrake"

Carl nodded. "Go on...here's the key" he held it. "You two get in the car...as soon as he's alright to move we'll join you"

"We can't leave him!" Adam protested.

"No we can't!" Jackson agreed.

"Look!" Carl snapped. "Just do what I say, I-I'm not going to hurt him alright...I won't..."

"Don't pretend you care" Jackson told him nastily.

Carl looked across at Aaron and watched his body began to ease. "I didn't think I did...but this...seeing it...I had no idea...he wouldn't tell me what was wrong...I said some horrible things"

"But why does it take until you see this for you to soften Carl?"

Carl lowered his head and shrugged. "I don't know...too stubborn I guess"

Adam and Jackson looked at each other...a trait they were familiar with. "Alright" Adam began as he stepped away. "Come on Jackson, we'll call Paddy, we can get him to drive the car back"

Jackson nodded and waited until Adam had moved away enough then he leaned in close enough to Carl. "Hurt him again and I'll hurt you...this could be your chance now..."

Carl shook his head. "I won't...it shouldn't have taken this to make me realize..."

Jackson definitely agreed with that. "Nothing will change the fact that he's your son"

Carl swallowed hard. "I know...I-I think he's stopped now"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah...he has...take him home with Adam, I'll wait for Paddy"

"You sure?"

"Yeah...I'll help you get him out the car"

Moments later Carl was holding Aaron in his arms. "Will you be alright?"

Jackson nodded. "I'm fine...just do me one thing...please, please Carl just stay with him..." he pleaded.

Carl nodded and looked down at his son. "I will" he told him and walked away to the car.

* * *

TBC...


	47. Progress

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Progress"

* * *

Sounds, that's all he could hear through the sheer pain and throbbing ripping through his head. The sound seemed to be in the distance but as his eyes opened and the blurred dark shapes of people around him could be seen he quickly realised the sounds were in fact from them. He groaned and narrowed his eyes, the pain was too much. More sounds, he couldn't make them out. He hoped it was Jackson he needed him, he wanted to hold onto him for dear life because he felt like he was dying, Aaron felt completely drained of energy, he couldn't think properly and he felt sick.

Aaron looked around at the dark forms of shapes around him, they were looking at him but he still couldn't make them out. He sighed and relaxed his body he felt his chest rising quickly, he was panicking but seconds later he felt a hand on his chest, a big hand...probably a man's trying to soothe him. He was really dazed. He closed his eyes tightly and opened them again seconds later to find his vision clearing, he blinked a few times and his vision was clear.

Aaron's eyes widened slightly at the sight before him. Carl sat by him on the sofa in Dale head, and it was his hand on his chest soothing him. "C-Carl?" Aaron asked in a hoarse voice.

Carl nodded. "It's me...you scared us there..."

Aaron swallowed hard to clear his throat as Jackson appeared with a glass of water; Aaron took it in his shaking hand and took a sip. "I'll be upstairs Aaron, you need to talk"

Aaron nodded. "Thanks"

Jackson smiled back at him and left the living room.

Silence filled the room and Aaron lowered his head. "I-I didn't want you to see that, I'm assuming you did"

Carl nodded and blew out a breath. "The car nearly crashed into mine but Jackson saved the day, pulled up the handbrake and it swerved out of the way"

"Oh" was all Aaron said.

"And when I got to your car Jackson was kneeling by you..." Carl closed his eyes. "I've never seen that before and I'm sorry you have to suffer it"

Aaron frowned slightly. "Nothing I can do about it" he replied quietly.

"No, I know" Carl nodded.

"You could have easily just gone home..." he began, it was more of an underlying question than a statement and Carl picked up on it immediately.

Carl nodded. "I know I just, when I saw you like that" he shrugged. "I just panicked, it was so scary and I felt helpless" he shook his head in frustration.

Aaron lay silently and listened.

"I was scared Aaron, I was scared tonight and I was scared the moment your mum told me you were mine" he closed his eyes briefly, he felt like he was baring his soul and laying it all out for Aaron to pick apart and to use against him.

"Scared?"

Carl swallowed hard. "Yeah, scared of fixing you, us...we'd already damaged ourselves long before all of this"

Aaron smirked. "From the off"

Carl chuckled. "Exactly and I wasn't so sure if there would be any way we could form that kind of relationship, but I'd be stupid if I can't see what kind of person you are, behind doors like you said, even out there in the world I see what you're like now, what you're capable of, part owner in a business, you have a boyfriend who worships the ground you walk on, mates...you've changed so much Aaron and I do see it, but I also see that the old you is still in there."

Aaron nodded. "Always will be"

"And I accept that"

Aaron smiled slightly. "So what are you saying?"

Carl looked away and fidgeted slightly; he let out a shaky breath and looked at Aaron. "I'm saying you are my son"

Aaron felt a sudden tingle in his eyes and an overwhelming surge of heat surrounded his eyes as they began to fill with tears, Aaron nodded after a few seconds delay and Carl smiled, and then in turn Aaron did also.

"How are you feeling?" Carl asked.

"Tired, no energy whatsoever but I think I'm going to see the doctor, I'm taking my medication and it's still happening, and I think I'll sell the car too, I'm not going to risk driving again"

Carl nodded and a smirk played on the corner of his lips. "Think that's a good idea and don't worry about the doctor, Jackson's organised an appointment already for the morning, he called the out of hours number and it was arranged straight away"

"Oh that's alright then..."Aaron looked up at Carl and his mouth opened to say something but he hesitated for a second before he finally spoke. "D-Do you wanna come?"

Carl smiled but frowned at the same time. "Me?"

Aaron grinned and nodded. "Yeah"

"You sure?"

Aaron nodded. "That's what dads, parents do isn't it?"

"Hmm" he smiled happily. "Yeah, suppose they do"

Jackson smiled as he sat at the top of the stairs listening. Progress! At last! He was so proud of Aaron once again, he'd let Carl in, and vice versa. _This could actually all be okay _he thought to himself.

* * *

TBC...


	48. Good Days

-AARON & JACKSON-

– DESIRE –

"Good Days"

* * *

Jackson's sweaty body rolled off from on top of Aaron and he grinned at him as he lay beside him meeting his sparkly blue eyes. Aaron smiled back. "That was..." he began breathlessly.

Jackson nodded. "I know" he said softly as he kissed Aaron's neck. "I wanted to ask you something"

Aaron turned his head slightly and focussed on the man he loved. He gave a slight nod inclining him to continue.

Jackson took a breath. "Right I know it's difficult for you at times, but you're here a lot and I was going to ask if yo-"

"Yes" Aaron replied.

Jackson frowned. "You don't know what I was going to say" he chuckled.

"Yes I do" Aaron grinned and snuggled closer to him and wrapped his arms around Jackson's smooth warm body. "Of course I'll move in"

Jackson grinned and kissed his head. "God I love you Aaron Livesy"

Aaron smiled and placed a gentle kiss on Jackson's chest. "I love you too"

"Right come on then" Jackson shifted causing Aaron's head to drop onto the mattress. "Better go tell your mum and Paddy and we can start getting your stuff down here, I'll call my mum too she can help on this end"

"I don't have that much stuff Jackson"

Jackson shrugged. "It doesn't matter babe, this is a big deal"

Aaron pouted and took a breath. "Yeah, suppose it is" he smiled.

"Get up then" Jackson smiled down at him as he now stood out of bed pulling on some boxers. Then a doubt crept into his mind as he looked at Aaron again. "Are you really sure though?"

"Jackson..." Aaron sighed.

"No, babe I just want you to be sure we both know what happened in this house..."

"Yeah and it's always there, being here more lately has made me realise it's not adding to it, it's just there in my head and I deal with it"

Jackson slowly nodded. "I'm going to live with you Jackson, I' am" Aaron smiled and sat up in bed.

Jackson sat on the edge of the bed. "I just wanted to be sure"

"I know" Aaron said as he rested his chin on Jackson's shoulder and wrapped his arms around his stomach. "And I'm sure"

Jackson smiled and turned his body slightly to face him and kissed him passionately before pulling away and pulling Aaron off the bed with him, they had a lot to do.

...

"Jesus mate" Carl struggled as he stood at the bottom of the set of ladders on the landing reaching for a box that had been lowered slowly by Aaron.

"You got it?" Aaron shouted down.

"Yeah, I got it" Carl replied as he lowered it down onto the floor.

Jackson laughed as he ran up the stairs. "Oi! Aaron I thought you didn't have much stuff" he gave a confused look to Carl that was equally shared before scanning the pile of boxes on the landing.

Aaron came into view over the open hatch. "I didn't but when I told my mum and Paddy, Paddy told me he stored some of my stuff away years ago, he said he did tell me but I must have forgotten"

"I really really hope you have the room Jackson" Carl chuckled.

Jackson smiled and nodded. "Yeah...so how were they then?"

"What?! I can't hear you" Aaron shouted, he'd disappeared again.

Jackson climbed up a few steps on the ladder. "I said how were they then?"

"Oh" Aaron turned as he held another box and made his way to the open hatch. "They were happy, quite excited actually, wish us all the luck in the world" Aaron chuckled.

"Right then that's good, where are they?"

"Uhh, hang on get this will ya?"

Jackson held his arms up to take it when Aaron lowered it enough. Once out of Aaron's arms he replied. "They're out apparently Paddy booked a romantic lunch in Leeds..." Aaron shrugged as he made his way down the ladder, he looked slightly red in the face and flustered with beads of sweat on his forehead. "Must be nice eh?" Aaron sighed breathlessly as he rested against the ladder.

"I'm sure you have Jackson will have plenty of opportunities to have romantic meals out" Carl told them as he leaned down and picked up a box and Aaron and Jackson looked at each other and smiled. "Right then, let's get this stuff moved" Carl told them and he began making his way down the stairs. Jackson followed him with a box and Aaron closed the loft hatch and collapsed the ladders before carrying one down, he stopped at the doorway and left it there and decided to bring the boxes to the ground floor, so much easier.

...

Several hours later Aaron and his belongings had been moved into Dale head, and Aaron silently vowed that this would be the last time he had to re-move into this house. He smiled as he looked around, with some of his belongings dotted around the living room, it felt like his home once again. He came out of his reverie went Jackson rounded the corner from the staircase. "What's wrong with your phone?" he asked.

"Oh my battery is dead why?" Aaron frowned.

"Your mum called, wants us to go up to the house"

"Oh right, better go then" Aaron replied and he made his way to the door where Jackson was stood.

When they arrived in Smithy cottage Chas and Paddy were sat at the kitchen table, Chas' eyes were red and puffy but she had clearly reapplied her make-up. Aaron frowned as he and Jackson stood in the doorway. "What's wrong?" he could feel a panic build up within him.

Paddy just grinned and looked at Chas who held up her left hand showing a ring and she began to cry again. "We're getting married!"

Aaron's jaw dropped and he looked at Jackson briefly, he was grinning. Aaron realised he had to move and he did, he forced himself from the spot and took his mum in his arms. "I'm so happy for you" he pulled away.

"Really?" Chas asked with tears of happiness.

Tears were on the verge of falling from Aaron's eyes too and he nodded and smiled, he looked at Paddy then back at her. "Course I' am, I've always wanted this"

Chas hugged him again and whispered in his ear. "I settled for safe, and it's amazing"

Aaron hugged tighter as his tears fell. He remembered once telling his mother that maybe one day she should settle for safe, and Paddy was the definition of that aswell as loving, real, caring and many, many other things.

He pulled away and stepped closer to Paddy who rose from his seat smiling. "Come here" Paddy said and as he was hugging Paddy he heard Jackson behind congratulating his mum.

"Congratulations Paddy, I'm so happy for you"

Paddy smiled as they pulled away and looked at each other. "We're happy, it was what we wanted"

Aaron nodded and smiled at the both of them. Could this day get any better?

"There is...some more news but we'll tell you tonight so come by the pub at about seven"

Aaron frowned curiously. "Why can't you just tell us now?"

"Because this needs to sink in first" Chas smiled.

"Alright..." Aaron chuckled, she had a point.

"Go on then we'll see you both later"

Jackson and Aaron smiled and said there goodbyes before heading out.

Once back into the warmth of their home Aaron looked at Jackson and that's all it took in that moment, Aaron's body bumped into Jackson's as he kissed him passionately and Jackson kissed back, the moment was heated as they pulled off their tops. Aaron groaned as Jackson bit and sucked on his neck as he sat him on the window sill, then with Aaron's legs around his waist Jackson pulled Aaron into his arms as their tongues fought for dominancy. He could feel Aaron's hard cock pushing against his own. Jackson moved quickly across the living room with Aaron in his arms until he made it to the stairs, and he began to climb carrying his boyfriend and caressing his nipples with his tongue as they climbed but Jackson fell forward as did Aaron and they both laughed as Aaron lay in an awkward position on the uncomfortable stairs.

The laughs faded and Aaron bit his lip as he reached out to the button on Jackson's jeans and he undid it quickly and pulled his jeans down.

"Here?" Jackson asked with a wicked grin.

"Here, up against the wall, in the bath, outside on the lawn I don't care" Aaron told him breathlessly. "I just want you"

Jackson didn't say anything instead he reached out and pulled Aaron's joggers down past his waist, he continued pulling until they were off completely and Aaron lay naked sprawled out on the stairs. Aaron lifted his legs and placed one foot on the banister and the other up against the opposite wall. Jackson moved down a few stairs and got on his knees and Aaron's hole, balls and cock were in full view. Jackson placed a kiss on Aaron's stomach and continued kissing until he reached Aaron's hard cock and took it into his mouth. Aaron groaned and his head fell back.

Desire

Desire is a wish or l0nging, a request, someone's object of longing, sexual appetite; passion. Everyday Aaron and Jackson longed for each other, every night where they could lie in bed close together, and most nights become one when desire took hold of them, pure love and passion guiding them to another level of existence, but love isn't just displayed in a physical manner, or at a set time. No it hit anytime – spontaneously and as both men climaxed they held each other in their awkward positions on the stairs. They make their moments in life; life doesn't make them for them.

"You okay?" Jackson whispered.

Aaron nodded and his smile grew and grew. "Yeah...it's all good" he let out a breath. "It's all good right now" he told Jackson and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Take me to bed"

Jackson kissed his neck and got to his feet while carrying Aaron once again and they left behind them a trail of clothes, and for anyone who entered the house they would know exactly what was going on but they didn't care. They were in love. A loud moan filled the house as they made love once again.

* * *

**THE END**

_**Thankyou to all who have read and reviewed this story, I appreciate it so much! This story has been a roller coaster but I've loved every minute of it. Some people didn't like or were unsure with the directions this story took and some people stopped reading and that was completely fine with me. Everybody is entitled to an opinion and I don't begrudge that one bit.**_

_**But to those who have stayed with it thankyou so much! It means a lot. **_

_**Thankyou to everyone who reviewed, the regulars, the guests but especially thankyou to Shawn, Valere and Sarah, you know why but to Dannys_Angels if you see this, you helped me when I nearly stopped writing this completely and I'm so grateful to you that I didn't and it was mostly down to you! **_

_**I have a new idea for a fic, so keep an eye out for all of you who are interested :) x**_


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